


Come Morning Light

by maychorian



Series: Morning Light [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Adoption, Child Abuse, Depression, Drama, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Violence, just warning you, kagami is a cinnamon roll, kuroko is hiding something, skip this fic if you have psychological triggers, this is gonna get real serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-22 00:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 132,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3708349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maychorian/pseuds/maychorian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is wrong with Kuroko. After months of friendship and partnership, Kagami's starting to lose track of him again. When Kagami realizes that Kuroko is deliberately reducing his presence, he makes it his mission to find out why and to make it stop. Even if Kuroko has no intentions of helping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's too difficult for me to find the stories I want to read, so I just end up writing them. Every time.
> 
> I've written five chapters so far, so I'll post a chapter a day. I have every intention of keeping this story relatively short, but...well...that rarely works out for me. We'll have to see how it goes. Ten chapters? Maybe? I'd like to say I'm drawing the line there. But who knows.
> 
> Edited to add: HAHAHAHA PAST ME IS AN IDIOT. ALWAYS.

It was nothing obvious at first. Nothing with Kuroko was ever obvious. "Not being at all obvious" was pretty much the definition of Kuroko Tetsuya.

Kagami first noticed something off when he realized that he was starting to lose track of Kuroko again. Over the months they'd known each other, he'd gotten good at paying attention to where Kuroko was. He hated that feeling of looking around and then jumping out of his skin when Kuroko surprised him by being _right there the whole time,_ so he'd done his best to make sure it couldn't happen to him anymore.

Plus, how much did that suck for Kuroko, always having people not even notice he was there? Didn't it make him feel insignificant? Kagami hated the idea that Kuroko would ever think he was insignificant, and he didn't want to be another person who made that happen. 

Then one day he stopped on his walk toward home to pause on a bridge and look out over the water. He rested his elbows on the railing and leaned over, staring down at the dark ripples in the fading red light of the setting sun. "It's fast..." he murmured, just to himself. Or so he thought. 

"The river is moving at the same speed as it always does," said a voice at his elbow, and Kagami jerked upright and yelled in shock, flailing his arms like a toy being shaken by a toddler.

"What...what are you doing here?" Kagami gathered himself and stood still, clutching his heart in shock as he stared down at his teammate, Kuroko Tetsuya, the phantom man.

Kuroko blinked serenely, just like always. His face was still and solemn. "I've been with you the whole time."

"You...you decided to walk home with me?"

"Not necessarily." Kuroko's voice was a gentle murmur. "It just so happened that we were going in the same direction, that's all."

"Well, why didn't you say anything to me earlier? I could have used the warning!"

He expected Kuroko to say, "I did," or perhaps to roll his eyes at Kagami being his usual idiot self. But Kuroko didn't reply. He just looked out over the water, clutching the handle of his bag over his shoulder. 

He... He seemed to be avoiding Kagami's eyes. Kagami frowned. What was going on here? Something was definitely up.

"I'm...sorry I didn't notice you were walking with me," he said after a moment, when his heart had finished racing in his chest. He did feel bad about it. What was wrong with him? He thought he'd gotten better at this. "I didn't mean to freak out at you."

Kuroko shrugged. "It's all right. No harm done."

Kagami squinted at him, his eyebrows lowering over his eyes like the gables of a roof. He wasn't sure that was true. Some instinct—deep, hidden, dark—was screaming at him that this was a lie. That harm had indeed been done.

"Are...are you okay?" he asked after a moment, slowly, unable to come up with another way to respond to this situation. 

Kuroko gave him a smile, small and light and almost invisible. "I'm fine." It looked like his usual smile.

Maybe it was nothing. Maybe Kagami's instincts were wrong. Maybe Kuroko had just decided to try to startle Kagami on purpose again, to make sure his skills hadn't atrophied or something.

"If you do want to come to my place, that's fine," Kagami said. "I won't turn you away. It's a big place and it feels empty now that Alex has gone back to America."

Kuroko shook his head. Was it Kagami's imagination, or had there been a moment of hesitation before his head moved in negation? He couldn't be sure. "No, I need to get home," Kuroko said. "But...thank you for the invitation, Kagami-kun. It's kind of you to offer."

Kagami's shoulders relaxed, falling down one at a time from the tight hunch they'd leaped into when Kuroko suddenly appeared at his side. Kuroko's speech seemed more natural now, more like himself. "Anytime."

Kuroko nodded.

"I mean it. The invitation is always open."

Kuroko gave him his version of a big smile, lips curving up, eyes closing for a moment. Really, it was the best Kagami could have hoped for. "Again, thank you. But...I'll just take the train station up ahead."

"Okay. I'll walk you there, anyway."

So they went. Kagami took special care to walk at Kuroko's pace, beside him instead of in front of him. It was easier to keep track of him that way. Kagami wasn't going to fall for Kuroko's invisibility trick again.

But it kept happening. Kuroko succeeded in startling Kagami on the walk up to school, in the line during lunch, and even while they were sitting next to each other in the _same freaking class._ After only a few days of constant vigilance and constant failure, Kagami was about ready to tear out his hair. The weirdest part was that Kuroko kept following him part of the way home, then skipping out at the nearest train station when Kagami finally noticed.

Scratch that—maybe the weirdest part was how basketball practice was still the same. No one on the team forgot that Kuroko was there anymore. Sure, when they had a practice game, Kuroko used his usual misdirection, reducing his presence so the opposing team got befuddled and couldn’t tell where he was. That was normal—it was the way they played. But during regular practice, no. Kuroko was his usual self. No one else on the team got freaked out by Kuroko suddenly appearing out of the woodwork, because they all paid attention to him and knew he was there.

So it was just Kagami, then. Kagami was the only one who was having trouble noticing Kuroko again, after months and months of working and training and losing and winning together. Why? What was he doing wrong?

“Are you doing this on purpose?” he asked out of frustration one day, when another walk home was interrupted by Kuroko suddenly commenting on something, causing Kagami to flail and clutch his chest. “Are you trying to kill me? Is that what this is? Or am I special project or something? What did I do to make you angry? Why do you keep following me, and why do I keep _not seeing you?”_

For the first time since this new ordeal began, Kuroko looked genuinely troubled. “If I’m bothering you, I do apologize most sincerely, Kagami-kun. It is not my intention to cause you distress.”

Kagami _hated_ that look on Kuroko’s face. That look like he should be _better_ at being invisible, so no one ever noticed him at all. “You’re not bothering me! That’s not what I’m asking!”

Kuroko tilted his head. “You’re not bothered by my presence? But I keep startling you. You seem to find it unpleasant.”

“I don’t find your presence unpleasant, okay? That’s not it at all. I find your _lack_ of presence unpleasant.”

Kuroko looked even more troubled, his forehead wrinkling as if he was in pain. “But that’s who I am. A lack of presence. It’s what gives me power on the basketball court, and I know that you appreciate that.”

Kagami slapped his own face, dragging his fingers down his cheek in despair. “That’s not what I mean! What I’m finding unpleasant is your tendency lately to be invisible to me again, like at the beginning, which is what’s allowing you to scare me and startle me. I don’t like being scared and startled. And I just want to know what’s going on and maybe why you’ve been following me home so often lately.”

Kuroko’s face, already troubled and wary, fell completely. He looked down at the pavement and shuffled away to the side, his steps plodding and slow. “I’m very sorry, Kagami-kun. Please forgive me for troubling you. I won’t walk in the same direction as you anymore, since you’re finding it bothersome.”

He started to trudge away. Kagami stared after him, frozen in shock. Then he shook his head, breaking loose, and caught up in two long strides. If he took his eyes off Kuroko for one second the guy was going to disappear and he would never be able to find him again.

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant.” Kagami got his hand around Kuroko’s shoulder, halting his momentum, his motion. Kagami stared at his hand, at how big it was on Kuroko’s slender upper arm. He was always aware of the size difference between them, how much taller and bigger and stronger he was than his teammate and friend, but rarely was he aware of just how small Kuroko could seem. How thin and fragile and easy to break.

Kuroko flinched when Kagami’s hand landed on him, shoulders hunching up, and then he held so still that it was like he’d been carved in ice. Kagami hesitated, then firmed his grip on Kuroko’s shoulder and gently, carefully pulled him back, turning him around so he could look at him. Kuroko kept his head down, his eyes hidden away behind the fringe of his hair.

Kagami studied Kuroko, his downturned face, his hunched posture. He didn’t know what to do. Something was going on, something was wrong, but he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t even know how to figure what it was, why Kuroko had suddenly decided to reduce his presence everywhere but basketball practice…

Kagami’s eyes widened at the realization. That was it. That was why Kuroko was succeeding in surprising him again. He’d known all along that Kuroko had the ability to reduce his already weak presence when it suited him, during games and other times when he wanted to fade into the shadows. But for months now, _months,_ ever since they’d become partners, Kagami had been used to Kuroko’s usual presence. To what might be called his default setting. 

Now, suddenly, in the past week or two, Kuroko had begun deliberately reducing his presence anytime he wasn’t with the entire basketball team. Why? Was he trying to hide from something?

Was...was he scared?

Kagami caught his breath in horror. Oh, god, it wasn’t him, was it? Was that why? What could he have done to earn this much fear and distrust?

But no, if Kuroko wanted to hide from Kagami, he could very easily do it. He could choose not to walk with Kagami every time he left the school grounds, and he could choose not to say anything so Kagami would never realize he was there. It was more like Kuroko kept reducing his presence on instinct, and Kagami just happened to be around when he did.

That was probably why no one else on the team had seemed to notice anything off about their shadow. None of the others were in Kuroko and Kagami’s class. They didn’t see Kuroko anywhere but practice and games, and there he was normal. Because...because he felt safe there?

Darkness began to press on the edge of Kagami’s vision. His hand tightened on Kuroko’s shoulder, making him wince, but Kagami couldn’t bring himself to let up. He thought he understood what was going on, now. And it infuriated him.

“Kuroko…” He spoke slowly, deliberately, forcing as much calm as he could into every syllable. It took enormous effort. He had to speak through gritted teeth and a locked jaw. “Is someone bullying you?”

Kuroko said nothing. He just stood there, staring at his shoes.

Kagami clenched his teeth. His blood was boiling, but he did his best to hold it in check. He didn't want to scare the guy. He wanted to help.

He wanted to make this _stop._

"Is it someone at school? Someone's been harassing you? Is that why you're making yourself invisible all the time?"

Kuroko shook his head, slowly, side to side.

"Then someone else? Who is it? C'mon, Kuroko, I know it can't be anyone on the basketball team, but that's all I've got here. Give me a clue so I can make this better for you. I'll do anything, but you have to help me out. Just a little."

Kuroko shook his head again, lethargic at first, then fast and rough. He raised his head and looked Kagami in the face. His eyes were wide and guileless. "No one is harassing me. No one is bullying me. You don't need to worry about that."

Kagami stared into his eyes. He knew he was making Kuroko uncomfortable with his American habits again—Japanese people did not tend to value a lot of eye contact during conversation. He couldn't help it, though. He was pretty sure his friend had just lied to him.

But Kagami couldn't fix that. If Kuroko didn't want to tell him, Kagami couldn't force it. As much as he might have liked to.

After a long, tense moment, Kagami grunted in frustration and let him go. He still didn't take his eyes off Kuroko, afraid that he would disappear the moment he looked away. 

What else could he do? There had to be something he could do.

Kagami spread his hands, helpless and extremely irritated by that helplessness. "Do you want to come to my house? I'll make dinner for us. I have ingredients for curry."

Kagami was pretty sure that Kuroko was thinner than he used to be. That wasn't a good sign. Kagami might not be able to help much, but at least he could feed his friend.

Kuroko considered the offer. Kagami could see him wavering. But then he straightened his shoulders, shook his head, and gave Kagami a sad, sad smile. It might have been the saddest smile Kagami had ever seen.

"Thank you. I should go home."

Kagami sighed and scrubbed a hand over his head, making his hair stand on end. "Okay. I'll walk you to the train station."

Again, he was careful to walk next to Kuroko all the way there to be sure he didn't lose sight of him. It didn't seem to be enough.

He didn't know what would be enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Maybe it was the intense amount of worry giving him strength, but Kagami had an easier time keeping track of Kuroko after that. It still took a concentrated effort, but he had become hyper-aware of his phantom friend. He found himself constantly glancing down and to the side even when there was no way that Kuroko was around. It was annoying and it gave him headaches, but he couldn't help himself.

He still suspected bullying or harassment, no matter what Kuroko said. It was impossible to prove, though. No one ever messed with Kuroko when Kagami was around, not that he saw, and he was watching very carefully.

Whoever was doing it had to be someone more than ordinary to pierce Kuroko's cloak of invisibility. Kagami found himself looking over the crowds of students, eyes narrowed in suspicion as he tried to suss out who it might be. No one stuck out to him as a likely candidate for Punk Bastard Who Is Bullying Kuroko, and Kagami was no kind of detective. This work gave him headaches, too.

He also watched Kuroko for signs. Watched for him to flinch when someone came near, to tense up when he met someone's eyes. Nothing happened. If anything, Kuroko seemed more relaxed when he was around Kagami, looking around with serene blue eyes and slurping his milkshakes with supreme nonchalance. Kagami was happy to provide an oasis, whatever was going on, so he didn't question this too closely. On their walks home from school, he took care not to lose Kuroko in more ways than one, keeping an eye on him and walking slowly to drag out the time as much as possible. Kuroko allowed it, though eventually, always, he slipped away at some anonymous train station.

Kagami never saw any bruises or other signs of physical distress, but that didn't mean much. They practiced in t-shirts and long shorts, and somehow Kagami never saw Kuroko changing, so who knew what was hiding under all that opaque fabric. Kuroko was good at hiding when he was in pain, too, so Kagami didn't trust the unbothered expression on his face.

All in all, Kagami was basing his conclusion that Kuroko was being mistreated on very little evidence. He was being stubborn and foolish, maybe, to hold to it in the face of all these denials. Yet he couldn't let it go. Call it an instinct, call it a hunch, call it sheer bloody-mindedness, but he knew something was wrong. He knew someone was hurting Kuroko, and he was going to do everything in his power to put an end to it.

It did occur to him, after a while, that he didn't have to be alone in this. There were plenty of people who cared about Kuroko and who, if they even _suspected_ that Kuroko was being bullied, would be more than happy to help Kagami blow the roof off the school in order to make it stop. There was a fifty-fifty chance that most of them would discard his suspicions as the usual Bakagami shenanigans, though. 

Kagami considered his options carefully. Then he went to the coach first. Riko was smart and observant. She spent almost as much time watching Kuroko as Kagami did, though her attention was divided amongst the entire team. If there was anything to be noticed, anything at all, surely she would have seen it.

He approached during a water break in the middle of practice when most of Seirin was busy mopping their heads and pouring water down their throats as fast as they could. Kagami was dripping sweat, too, and he wanted nothing more than a towel and a giant bottle of water right now. But this was more important.

"Ah... Coach?"

Riko looked up from the clipboard she'd been studying and immediately squinted at him as if he was the suspicious one. She didn't rebuke him, though. Perhaps reading the seriousness in his face, his body language, she stood a little straighter, lowered the clipboard to her hip, and faced him solidly. Her gaze was bright and sharp. "Yes? Is something going on?"

Kagami looked around, uncharacteristically hesitant. He wasn't sure it would do any good for anyone to overhear this. After a moment, he gestured for her to move with him over to the wall, out of easy earshot. To his surprise, Riko went with him right away.

Her voice was softer this time. "What is it, Kagami? You seem unhappy."

Kagami nodded. "I'm...well...it's not me. It's Kuroko."

Riko frowned, wrinkling up her nose, but she said nothing. She gave him room to speak, to gather his thoughts and make them work.

"Does he seem... Does he seem different to you lately? Like maybe over the last three weeks or so?"

Riko went very still, staring down at the floor in thought. After a long moment, she looked at him again. "Now that you mention it... It's nothing obvious. It hadn't even occurred to me until you asked. But I think you're right. Something is different. He seems normal during practice, but... I've seen the way his shoulders come down when he first walks into the gym at the beginning of practice. It's like he's been hunching up for the entire day, his whole body tight and tense, but when basketball starts it all goes away for him. And then at the end, when we all leave... He tenses up again."

Kagami nodded. He blew out a breath and closed his eyes, almost swaying where he stood. He wasn't crazy. Coach saw it, too. 

When he opened his eyes, Riko was still looking at him with a thoughtful frown on her face. "You think something is wrong."

Kagami nodded. A lump rose in his throat. "I think something is really, really wrong."

"You spend more time with Kuroko than any of the rest of us. You two are close friends, and he trusts you more than he trusts anyone else on the team. If you think something is wrong, I think you're right."

Kagami lowered his head, unable to look in her eyes for a moment. The relief was almost unbearable. Suddenly, he wasn't alone anymore. He hadn't realized how badly he needed an ally until he had one. "Thank you, Coach," he whispered.

"I suppose you've tried to figure out what it is."

"Yeah." Kagami nodded and rubbed a hand over his face, smearing the sweat around. "I straight out asked him. I demanded to know who is bullying him, who's harassing him. He said it's no one."

Riko's breath caught. Kagami jerked his head up to stare at her with wide eyes. Her face had gone deathly pale. 

Oh. She hadn't realized that he thought someone was bullying Kuroko. She probably thought the problem was...more mundane. Stress over school or something like that. 

To her credit, Riko did not back down. She did not waver in her belief that Kagami was right, that his instincts were correct. She just nodded, grim and firm. "Yeah, I guess a direct approach might not have been the best way to go about it."

Kagami nodded. Kuroko himself could be almost rudely blunt at times, when he really needed to get a point across. Despite his famous misdirection on the court, his personality was pretty damn straightforward. But something like this obviously needed a more delicate touch.

"What can I do, Coach?" Kagami asked humbly. "I can't stand this. I want to make it stop."

He wanted it more than he'd ever wanted anything in the world. Even the Winter Cup.

Riko considered the question for a long moment, rubbing her chin with her hand. Then she looked up, a small smile lighting her face. "Ask him to help you with something."

"Hah?" Kagami blinked. This was the last advice he expected.

"Trust me, it will increase the likelihood that he'll tell you what's going on."

"What? How will that work?"

Riko sighed and closed her eyes, leaning back with her hands on her lower back. Her voice remained patient. "Think about it. No one likes to feel weak. Not even Kuroko, and he's been using his weakness to his advantage for years. It might be that he doesn't want to ask for help because he wants to handle the situation on his own. He doesn't want to feel like he owes you for anything, that he's dependent on you for something he should be able to do."

Kagami gaped at her in something like horror. "Asking for help dealing with a bad situation doesn't make him _owe_ me something! That's ridiculous!"

"I know that, and you know that. But think about it from Kuroko's perspective. If someone was bothering you here at school—trying to trip you all the time, or calling you 'stupid' in a cruel way, as if they mean it... Would you go to Kyoshi and ask him to protect you? Or would you rather take care of it yourself?"

"I'd punch them in the mouth."

"Exactly. That's not Kuroko's style, of course. But whatever is going on, I'm sure he thinks he can handle it alone."

Kagami crossed his arms over his chest. It made him uncomfortable to think about it like that. He just wanted to fix it. "I think this is more serious than tripping and name-calling. I think..." He looked away, biting his lip. His stomach was churning with a deep, uneasy ache that he couldn't deny. His voice, already low as he tried to keep this conversation private, fell even further. "I think something really bad might happen if we don't stop it."

"I know you do." Riko's voice was quiet, too. "I'm not saying Kuroko is right. I'm just saying that's how he feels. He doesn't want to be beholden to you."

"But that's not how friendship works," Kagami said. "This..." He gestured in front of himself with both hands, trying to find the words. "It's a partnership. We're both stronger together than we are apart. I want to stand with him, that's all."

Riko smiled, soft and bright. "I know. You both give to each other in a lot of ways, and it's wonderful to see that. It really is. So remind him that he's not alone. That you need him just as much as he needs you. Ask him to help you with something. It might be subconscious, but it will remind him that he's _not_ weak, and you don't think he is. And it will remind him that it's okay to ask for help. The two of you can do that with each other."

Kagami nodded solemnly. Now that she'd explained everything, it made a lot of sense. "Thank you, Coach. I will."

Riko's expression lightened, though distress still lingered on the edges. "I'll keep an eye out, too. Maybe I'll notice something that can help. Of course, if you ever need something, don't hesitate to ask. I'm glad you talked to me today."

"Me too."

Now he at least had an idea of something he could do. A plan to follow. He just needed to think of something he needed Kuroko's help with.

He didn't think it would be hard. Kagami needed help with lots of things.


	3. Chapter 3

"We have a big test for Modern Japanese coming up," Kagami said.

Kuroko nodded.

They were standing on a bridge again, leaning over the rail to stare down at the fast-flowing water. Kagami had a piece of scrap paper in his hand that he was tearing into small pieces. He dropped them down into the river one by one and watched the water carry them away. He knew it was littering, but he didn't care.

"I'm not good at Modern Japanese," he said. "Or any Japanese."

Kuroko hummed. "You've gotten much better since you came back to Japan. Don't put yourself down, Kagami-kun."

"I know my capabilities. I'm probably not going to do well on the test."

Kuroko said nothing. It was like he'd run out of energy. Kagami glanced sideways at him, then ripped off another piece of paper and dropped it into the water. He watched the tiny scrap of white being seized by the dark blue current and carried away.

Kuroko hadn't complained about the littering, either. He just stood there at Kagami's elbow, watching the water with him. Kuroko was still as energetic and devoted as ever during basketball, but everywhere else it seemed like he had shrunk into himself. He was conserving energy any way he could.

Kuroko hadn't combed his hair this morning. Ordinarily, Kagami would neither notice nor care. Today he did, though.

Whatever was going on was getting worse.

"Hey," Kagami said, trying to sound as if the idea had just occurred to him. "Would you help me?"

Kuroko held very still for a long moment. "Help...you?" It was as if he'd never heard the words before.

Kagami refrained from rolling his eyes. "With Modern Japanese. You're good at it. Would you help me study?"

"Hmm." Kuroko's hands fidgeted on the rail.

"Please? It would really help me out. We could go to my place, take a train so we get there faster and have time. I know you have to get home in the evening, so I won't keep you long."

 _But I'll at least make you eat something,_ he vowed silently. _You've lost weight, Kuroko. What the hell is happening to you?_

Kuroko was quiet, staring down at the water. Kagami abandoned his last scrap of paper and turned to face him. He was intensely bothered by the continuing silence, but he tried not to let it show.

"You don't have to." Kagami nudged Kuroko's shoulder, trying for a friendly, jocular tone. His voice came out quiet and serious despite his best efforts. "Kuroko? You can say no. Just give me an answer, c'mon."

Kuroko held still for a moment longer. Then he slowly, slowly turned his head to look up into Kagami's face. "I do...want to help you."

Kagami broke into a wide, relieved smile. "Cool! So can you come over tonight?"

Kuroko shook his head. His eyes slipped away again. "Not tonight. But...tomorrow? You could come to my place. It's closer to school."

Kagami grinned even bigger. This was a better outcome than he could have hoped for. "Yeah, great! I'll bring snacks, okay?"

Kuroko nodded. And that was that.

Kagami spent the evening making all of his best onigiri recipes. He felt like a little kid excited to be visiting a friend's house after school. He'd never been to Kuroko's home, and he’d never thought he would get the opportunity to see it. Finally, finally, he was going to learn more about his best friend, about his family and his life. What would it be like? Kagami couldn't wait to find out.

His hopes were high. Probably too high. But he'd never even dreamed that Kuroko would respond this well. He knew how reserved Kuroko was—it must have taken a huge effort for him to be this vulnerable. For him to open up this window into his life and let Kagami inside.

Now Kagami just had to figure out how to leverage that to get Kuroko to tell him what was wrong. Who was hurting him. How Kagami could make it stop.

Kagami tried to hold it in. He did his best to expend as much energy as possible during basketball practice to try to burn off some of the extra. He jumped higher, dunked harder, and yelled louder than he usually did. The team responded, matching Kagami with their own enthusiasm and joy. Even Kuroko smiled.

Still, Kagami was practically vibrating on the train to Kuroko's. He chose to stand, holding the grip-handle and looking around at the bored commuters, the unfamiliar scenery. Kuroko's face held a slight smile as he watched Kagami bouncing on his toes like an over-excited puppy. Kuroko chose to sit, though, resting his head back against the window. Kagami didn’t miss how exhausted he looked, the dark rings of fatigue circling his eyes, but he didn't comment on it.

Kuroko led the way from the train station to a nice-looking apartment complex, Kagami close on his heels the entire way. Inside, Kuroko stopped at a plain door like any other in a long, brightly lit hallway, then turned a key and moved inside. He stopped in the entryway and slipped off his shoes, while Kagami lined his up neatly alongside, and they padded into the apartment. Kuroko hit light switches as he went, making a path of light as they moved into the darkened rooms.

Kuroko didn't call out to greet his family on arrival. The place was dark and quiet before they came. Kagami frowned, looking all around. "Do you live alone, too? You never said."

Kuroko shook his head but didn't elaborate. He was moving quietly but steadily toward a goal, his gait never wavering. Kagami kept pausing behind him, stopping to stare around as he did his best to take in every detail of Kuroko's home.

The apartment wasn't completely unlike Kagami's, really. Too big, too modern, too plain for most Japanese sensibilities. Here and there were little homey touches—a beautiful green pot in an alcove, a chair with a blanket draped over it as if to invite a nap, a houseplant spreading dark leaves in a corner. But all of these mementos of domesticity seemed old and neglected, as if covered with dust even though no dust was in evidence. Most of the furnishings were ugly and utilitarian.

In the hallway right outside the main room, Kuroko halted for a moment and looked at a picture on the wall, one of only a few Kagami had seen in the entire place. Kuroko held so perfectly still and silent that, for just a moment, it seemed like the entire world had been dropped into a deep, cold pool of water with not a ripple to be seen. Then he moved on, but Kagami paused where he had stood so he could look at the picture, too.

It was a family photo, preserved under glass. Kuroko, many years younger, leaned down toward the camera with two adults grinning over his shoulders. The woman had light hair much like her son's and an expression that radiated peace, while the man seemed tired and careworn, but no less happy to be with his family. Kuroko...Kuroko was radiant.

Kagami had never seen Kuroko smile like that. Broad and bright and beautiful, showing all his teeth, his mouth open as if he'd been captured in the throes of laughter. Had Kagami ever heard Kuroko laugh? Ever?

He didn't think so. Kagami couldn't remember for sure, but he thought he would have noticed something like that. 

A small noise from the main room broke him out of his reverie, and Kagami stepped away from the photo. He halted in the doorway of the main room, suddenly apprehensive as a thought occurred to him. Kuroko knelt at a low table in the middle of the room, setting out books for their study session.

"Oi, Kuroko..."

Kuroko looked up, then blinked as he noticed Kagami's sudden tension. "Yes? Is something wrong?"

Kagami glanced from side to side. He'd found the quiet of the empty home unnerving before, but now it was downright creepy. "Where's Nigou?"

He had completely forgotten about the dog. Kuroko hadn't brought Nigou to basketball for quite a while—since before this mess began?—and once Kuroko started acting strange, all other concerns had fled Kagami's mind. Not that it really mattered. Kagami still would have leaped at the opportunity to visit Kuroko's house, even if he'd remembered that he would have to fight through his phobia of dogs.

Instead of brightening up at the mention of his beloved pet, Kuroko looked away. "Nigou isn't here."

"What?" Kagami took a step into the room, compelled by the distress in Kuroko's closed expression as well as his own shock. "Where is he?"

"I asked Aomine-kun to take care of him for a while. He grumbled, but he did it. Aomine-kun is a kind person, really."

"I know that. He still won't let me give him back his shoes. Says they're mine now and he doesn't want my foot stink on his stuff." Kagami crossed the rest of the distance and sat across from Kuroko. He set his things on the table, taking special care with the box that held the onigiri. "That's a lie, though. If he cared about foot stink, he wouldn't play basketball."

Kuroko managed a smile at this, though it was small and sad. His eyes were heavy-lidded and weary. "Aomine-kun is a good friend."

Kagami nodded. Aomine had proved himself to be a loyal and generous friend by his actions, not by his words. That didn't explain what was going on, though.

"But why did you ask him to take care of Nigou?" Kagami asked slowly, carefully.

A spark of mischief lit in Kuroko's eyes. It was good to see. "Well, I couldn't ask you to do it, could I?"

"I'm glad you didn't," Kagami retorted. "But c'mon, Kuroko. Why..."

Kuroko shook his head and looked away again, trying to close off that line of inquiry. "It's only temporary."

Kagami's fingers tightened on the box of onigiri. He was beginning to despise Kuroko’s gift for misdirection, at least when it came to personal matters. This wasn't a basketball court. And Kagami wasn't the enemy, dammit. Why was Kuroko hiding from him?

"Kuroko, please tell me..."

"It's temporary." Kuroko met Kagami's eyes for a brief moment, sharp and firm. He was slamming the lid on the conversation and shoving it away from himself as forcefully as he could. "Let's study Modern Japanese now. You're worried about the big test coming up, aren't you?"

Kagami sighed and gave in. "Yeah, yeah. I'm worried about the test." He couldn't abandon the pretense now, or Kuroko might shut down completely.

And he really did need to study. Once they cracked open the books and got into it, Kuroko turned out to be an effective tutor. He was soft-spoken, but firm and knowledgeable, and he'd always had a talent for connecting with Kagami, meeting him where he was and walking alongside. Kagami still didn't enjoy the process, but he had to admit that a lot of the kanji were pretty cool and interesting. If he was ever going to get good at Japanese, this was the way it would happen.

Early on, Kagami fetched a plate from the kitchen and set it between them on the table. He continually filled it with onigiri from his box. Whenever there was a moment, he nudged the plate toward Kuroko. Sometimes he put an onigiri directly in Kuroko's hand.

"Try the tuna-mayo, it's a classic," he'd say. Or, “This is teriyaki chicken. Not traditional, but they liked it in LA." Kuroko ate absently in between teaching Kagami about kanji and their interpretations. Of course, Kagami ate plenty, too.

All in all, it was a pleasant time. Kagami revelled in the opportunity to hang out with Kuroko, even though it revolved around academics. Kuroko seemed relaxed and at ease, too, his shoulders loose and his face as open as it ever got. And he smiled a lot, more than Kagami had seen in quite a while, even during basketball.

The quiet, empty apartment still felt strange and austere, but they had created their own little circle of light within that cold environment. Kuroko made tea, and Kagami's onigiri seemed inexhaustible. Neither noticed how much time was passing. Kagami could have stayed there for hours, and Kuroko seemed no less content.

Then came a sound that shattered it all, like a castle of spun glass collapsing at a touch. It was a small sound, muffled, distant. But it seemed very loud for all its simplicity and mundanity. It was the sound of a key in a lock.

Kuroko went still the moment the sound reached them, piercing their bubble of light and letting in the cold and the darkness in a slow leak, steady and unstoppable. The smile ran away from Kuroko's face like a frightened mouse, and Kagami stared at him in astonishment. Kagami's voice cut off in the middle of a word, the thread of what he'd been saying lost.

Kuroko jumped to his feet as if he'd been burned, then almost swayed where he stood. His eyes, wide and round, sought the clock on the wall. "It's late," he murmured.

Kagami started to push to his feet, but Kuroko spun and pinned him with a stare. "Don't move." His voice was a bark of command, or as close as Kuroko could get to that sort of tone, and Kagami stopped where he was. Kuroko's eyes softened, but only a little. "Please, Kagami-kun. Whatever happens, whatever you hear, please just stay where you are."

“Wait, what do you mean? Whatever I _hear?_ What are you talking about?” Kagami started to rise again, but Kuroko waved his hands as if pushing him down from several paces away. Kuroko’s face was so distressed that Kagami froze, unwilling to cause him more pain.

 _“Please._ Please stay where you are. I’ll take care of this. And _keep quiet.”_ Then Kuroko rushed down the hall toward the sounds of the door opening and someone stumbling inside.

Kagami sat back on the floor. His heart was pounding. He’d never seen Kuroko look so...frightened. He would do his best to obey Kuroko’s request, though. If that was all he could do, just be still and be quiet, then he would do that.

But he strained his ears, listening as hard as he could. He heard a body thump into a wall somewhere near the door, too large to be Kuroko’s, as if the person hadn’t been able to stand straight anymore. He heard a groan and a mumbled complaint in a man’s voice, too muffled to make out the words. Then Kuroko’s soft, padding footsteps completed their journey to the entryway, and Kuroko spoke.

“Father. Welcome home.”


	4. Chapter 4

"Tets'ya..." The man's voice was slurred and difficult to make out. "Why're you meetin' me at the door like this? Didn' I tell ya t'stay outta my way?"

"I wanted to make sure you were safe. It's late. Did your trip home go well?" Kuroko's voice was utterly calm.

"Don'...don' make funna me. You..." Kagami heard sounds of stumbling, of heavy, clumsy feet on the floorboards of the hall.

"Father, please... Let me help you take off your shoes, at least..."

There was another thump, an intake of breath from Kuroko. "Why? 'Z it so hard to keep the floor clean? 'M I gonna mess up your precious _floor_ with my filthy _feet?"_

"Please... I'll help you get to your room. You can lie down and sleep. You'll feel better then. I won't be in your way, I promise. Just let me help."

Sounds of fumbling, rough thumps, a rustle of fabric. Kagami dug his fingers into his thighs to keep from moving. So Kuroko had a useless drunk for a father. The man in that photo? It was hard to imagine. He had seemed ordinary in the picture, an ordinary father with his own worries, but enough care and affection to lavish on his wife and son. 

How many years had passed since that picture was taken? What had happened in the meantime? Kagami couldn't begin to guess. 

"Leggo a me!" The man's voice rose, intemperate rage sharpening his tone. "Don' touch me with those dirty hands a yours!" 

"Father, I'm clean, I swear, just..."

"No, you're lying to me! I can see the dirt all over ya, I can see it, I can..."

Footsteps on the floor. Kuroko's soft pads, followed by the heavy feet of his father. Kagami swore he could feel the vibrations through the floor, thick and heavy, so heavy. Kuroko and his father were moving away from the entryway, now.

"Come, your room is right this way." Kagami could hear the stress in Kuroko's voice, as hidden as it was. Kuroko's father no doubt heard only his son's usual serene monotone. You had to pay attention to notice the differences in Kuroko's tone of voice, and this man did not seem the kind to pay attention to anything outside his own world, his own pool of cares and concerns and wasted nights. 

"Leggo a me!" Sounds of sliding fabric, and the footsteps stopped. Kuroko's father was silent, panting harsh and loud. Kuroko was so still that Kagami couldn't even hear him breathe. Were they looking at each other, standing frozen in the hall? What expressions were on their faces? 

"Little bastard..." The man's voice was thick with rage, rapidly building. Kagami found himself climbing to his feet without making a conscious decision to do so. How dare he, how dare he speak to Kuroko that way, to his own _son_ that way, how could he...

"You're a demon." The father's voice was low and grinding. "I've seen it before. I see it now. Don't you come near me. Don't you _touch_ me, you filthy little beast."

Then there came a sound Kagami knew he recognized. A rush of air, a heavy thud. Kuroko's small body slammed into the wall, then slid to the floor. Kagami could feel the blow rattling the walls, threatening to shake the building down.

He'd hit him. Kuroko's father had hit him. Hit him hard enough to knock him to the floor.

Kagami was moving. A red haze rose in the corners of his vision, but his central view remained clear. He couldn't stay still now. His body would not accept that, sitting in the main room, helpless, listening. He couldn't do it now. He just couldn't.

There were things he needed to do. First and foremost, he intended to punch Kuroko's father in the face.

He rounded the corner, his fist raised to strike, and then he halted. Kuroko's father was bent over, leaning on the wall with one hand. His hair was mussed, his tie loose around his neck, and his face was deathly white. He looked seconds from throwing up on the floor. He wasn't a large man, by any means—shorter and slighter than Kagami, he'd be no match against Kagami's fists, no matter that it would be a grown man versus a high school boy. But in that moment, leaning on the wall and almost passing out in front of Kagami's eyes, he was pathetic. Small and pathetic and worthless. It didn't seem right to hit him, and Kagami's fist began to sink in the air.

Then his eyes fell on Kuroko, and the fist raised again. Kuroko was slumped on the floor with his back against the wall, his head down as he wheezed for breath. He was curled up around his stomach—was that where his father had hit him?—and he, too, looked like he was close to fainting. But this wasn't because of drunkenness. It was because of pain and injury.

Kagami took a step closer to the awful scene, his face screwing up in rage. "Oi! Bastard! What did you do?" 

Kuroko's father snapped his head up to look at him. His eyes flashed, and he was the one who looked like a demon. "Who are you?" He looked at his son, his lips pulling back from his teeth. "You...you brought him here, didn't you? What did I tell you about outsiders? What did I...!"

He raised an open hand, preparing to strike Kuroko again as he knelt on the floor, unable to dodge, unable to defend himself in any way. Kagami rushed to meet the blow, placing himself between Kuroko and his father. The hand struck his arm and bounced harmlessly away. Kagami grimaced but didn't flinch.

That was a hard blow. Kuroko's father was stronger than he looked. It would have made Kuroko's head ring like a bell.

“Don’t do that again,” Kagami growled, his voice low and fierce. He felt like a guard dog bristling before an enormous threat. If that man moved so much as a centimeter, Kagami was going to go for his throat.

“Kagami-kun…” Kuroko’s voice was breathless, desperate, almost inaudible. Kagami wanted to look at him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the pathetic, dangerous creature he faced.

He turned his head slightly to speak behind him, his gaze never wavering from Kuroko’s worthless father. “Can you stand?”

Kuroko struggled for breath. The air wheezed in and out of his lungs. It hurt to listen to. “I...can stand.”

“Then do that. Stay behind me.”

Kagami was giving the orders now. He would accept no argument. 

The father stared at Kagami as he leaned on the wall with his head down, stance wavering. His face was twisted with hate, but he made no move against him. He must have been able to see the murder in Kagami’s eyes.

Kuroko remained on the floor for a moment longer, breathing in whistling pants, then began to struggle to his feet. He pushed his hands against the wall, the floor, levering his winded body into an upright position. Kagami stood so close that he could feel him trembling, feel him starting to fall again as his knees gave way. Kuroko caught himself with a hand on Kagami’s back, fist clenching in the material of Kagami’s shirt. Then he found his balance and stood quivering on the floor, pressed in the narrow space between Kagami and the wall. He let go of Kagami’s shirt, but his hands pressed flat against Kagami’s back. He wasn’t pushing, wasn’t trying to get Kagami to move away, so Kagami remained where he was.

Kuroko stood there, letting his palms rest on Kagami’s shoulder blades. His trembling eased slightly with the contact, but it didn’t disappear. Kagami frowned at Kuroko’s father.

“I’m sorry, Kuroko,” he said.

Kuroko stopped breathing for a second. “Wh...what?”

“I should have tried harder to find out what was going on, why you’ve been so scared and quiet and depressed. I’m sorry I assumed it was just a bully, some petty little jerk at school. I’m sorry I thought it was something simple that I could take care of in a moment for you. This is much worse than I thought it was going to be. I wasn’t ready.”

He glanced over his shoulder for a second and caught Kuroko’s eye, staring wide and astonished, then looked forward again. “But I’m here now. I understand now. Everything will be all right.”

Kuroko’s breath hitched. Then Kagami felt him nod. Good. That was one battle won. Kuroko was going to accept Kagami’s help.

Kuroko’s father was not satisfied. His lip curled, and his hand rose again. It curled into a fist this time. “How dare you come into my house and speak like that to _my_ son! You filthy delinquent! You insult to the earth! How dare you…!” 

Kagami didn’t move. The fist flew toward him, and he caught it. His hand was larger, and he wrapped it around the fist and squeezed. The man gasped, eyes bulging with the pain, and his knees began to buckle. Kagami squeezed his fist and let him fall, sliding down the wall. He stared down at him, never breaking eye contact, until this monster who called himself Kuroko’s father was on the floor.

“I told you not to do that,” he said. 

With the demon subdued for the moment, Kagami dared to look behind himself and meet Kuroko’s eyes for a little longer. “Go and pack a bag. We’re leaving.”

Kuroko blinked, slow and dazed. Though he had chosen to accept Kagami’s help, he still was having trouble following all of these rapid events. “Where...where are we going?”

Kagami gave him a smile. “Home. You’re coming home with me. And you’re never going to have to come back here again.”

He waited for Kuroko to protest, to deny, to declare that this was his home and he couldn't leave it. That he had responsibilities here to this place, to the memories that littered the walls and wafted in the air. To the father who had turned out to be no father at all. But after a long moment to process this news, Kuroko only blinked again. And he gave Kagami a nod, slow but sure. It was the best Kagami could have hoped for.

Kagami moved forward from the wall, forcing Kuroko's father back as he went, and Kuroko slipped out from behind him. He was moving slowly and carefully, and Kagami wondered what injuries he carried. How many bruises, how many abrasions, how many deep-seated scars. 

Kuroko was quick. After a few minutes, he returned with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder, stuffed full. He trembled under the weight. He was carrying Kagami's bag in his other hand, packed with the things he had set out in the main room what seemed like eons ago. 

"Do you have everything you need?" Kagami asked. "Did you remember your toothbrush?"

Kuroko nodded. "I have enough."

"All right. Let's go." 

Kagami glared down at Kuroko's father, daring him to move, daring him to protest, daring him to do anything at all. The man remained slumped against the wall. By now he looked nearly catatonic. Kagami didn't care. He let go of the disgusting fist he'd been holding and took the bags from Kuroko, slinging them lightly over his own shoulder. He positioned himself between Kuroko and his father as they made their way out the door.

Kuroko paused on the threshold, swaying on his feet as he wavered between the hallway and the place he had called home. Kagami stood behind him, waiting patiently. After a moment, Kuroko's foot moved forward. He stepped into the hall of the apartment building and walked away. 

He didn't look back. Neither did Kagami.


	5. Chapter 5

When they emerged from the apartment complex into the street, Kuroko was shaking. Kagami placed a hand on his shoulder and steered him to a bench, and Kuroko practically fell into a sitting position, his legs collapsing under him at the last moment. There he sat, shivering, his hands wrapped around his knees in an effort to keep them still.

Kagami remained standing. His entire body vibrated with rage that had no outlet now, nowhere to go. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and began a search, but his eyes kept straying to Kuroko. Sweat began to appear on Kuroko's face despite the chill of the early spring night that pierced through their light school blazers. Kagami didn't like the color of Kuroko's face. It seemed nearly translucent in the unflattering light of the streetlamps and traffic signals.

It was dark. It was late. Kagami wanted to go home.

"Are you cold?" he asked. "You can have my coat." Shock might be a problem. Kagami frowned at the duffel hanging from his shoulder. Maybe Kuroko had packed a sweater he could pull out for him.

Kuroko shook his head. "I don't want your coat." He looked up at Kagami. The dullness faded away from his eyes, just a little. It was as if he'd forgotten Kagami was there for a moment. "What are you doing?"

Kagami punched a finger at his phone. "Looking for the nearest hospital. We need to get you checked out."

"What? No." Kuroko half-rose from the bench, then fell again when his legs couldn't support his weight. "No hospitals. Please. You said you were going to take me home."

Kagami scowled. He didn't like how panicked Kuroko looked. Like a child terrified of monsters in the dark. "Maybe I should call an ambulance instead. You can't even stand up."

"Yes, I can." Kuroko forced himself to his feet. This time he remained standing through sheer willpower, though Kagami could clearly see just how much effort it was taking, just how quickly it was draining what few reserves of energy Kuroko had left.

"Stop that." Kagami dumped the bags by the bench and moved around to face Kuroko. He put his hands on his shoulders and exerted just a little downward pressure...and Kuroko fell on his butt on the bench again. He glared up Kagami, though, and his face looked positively awful.

Kagami looked back at him for a moment, then groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. He had no choice but to revert to English. "Oh my freaking God, what is this...what am I supposed to _do..."_

"I'm fine," Kuroko said, small but clear.

Kuroko lowered his hands and looked at him again. Kuroko believed that was true, it was clear on his face. Or at least he wanted it to be true.

Well, and who wouldn't?

Kagami sighed and plopped down next to him on the bench, loose-limbed and drained of energy. He couldn't blame Kuroko for wanting to go home, to not have to deal with any of this. But they didn't have a choice.

"You are not fine," Kagami said as reasonably as he could.

"Yes, I am."

"You aren't."

"I am."

"No, you are not."

Kuroko opened his mouth, and Kagami raised a hand sharply to cut him off. Kuroko flinched at the sudden movement, and whatever he'd been about to say died on his lips. 

Kagami felt his heart crack in half. It had been threatening to do so all night, all week, ever since he'd realized that something was very, very wrong with his friend. But this, this involuntary reaction to his own movement, as harmless as he knew it to be, as they both knew it to be... That did it. It was too much. Kagami's heart couldn't bear the strain anymore, so it broke.

His breath caught, his hand sinking slowly to his side. Kuroko stared at the ground, and his face flamed red with embarrassment, which looked terrible layered over his sickly pallor. Kagami had to swallow a couple of times, choking down pieces of his shattered heart, before he could speak again.

"Kuroko...that bastard punched you in the stomach. So hard that I swear _I_ could feel it two rooms away. That's not good. That...that can cause internal damage. It's how Houdini died. We need to get you checked out."

Kuroko shook his head, slow but certain. "No." His voice was soft, but it was sure. "I know what that feels like. This isn't it. It's just a bruise." He laid his hand carefully over his abdomen, like a frail bandage that cured nothing, comforted nothing. "Just a bruise," he said again, even softer. So soft that Kagami almost couldn't hear him.

Kagami swallowed again. He wanted to ask how Kuroko knew that. _When did you feel that kind of pain? What happened? How many times? **How old were you?**_ At the same time, he didn't want to ask any of that at all.

Kuroko glanced sideways, meeting Kagami's eyes for a bare moment, then stared forward at the sidewalk again. "Believe me. I know the symptoms. If it starts to get that bad, I'll tell you, and we can go to a hospital. But now... I just want to go home. Please."

It was the "please" that did it. It sounded too much like the way Kuroko had said it to his father back in that hallway. When he was practically grovelling, doing everything in his power to get that drunken bastard back to his room without seeing Kagami. The word was small and pleading and it didn't sound like Kuroko at all. Not the Kuroko that Kagami knew, anyway.

Kagami slumped down, and the hand holding his phone slid into his pocket. "Fine," he said. "We'll go home. But if you won't let a doctor check you out, you have to at least let me take a look, okay? Just to make sure..." 

To make sure what? That there were no gushing wounds? No broken bones? Nothing that warranted better expertise than Kagami's? _Everything_ about this situation screamed for better expertise than Kagami's. 

"To make sure," he concluded lamely, unable to say anything else.

Kuroko nodded. The bargain was struck.

They sat there a while longer, gaining strength. Kagami fidgeted inwardly, longing to get home and put this day behind them. He considered offering Kuroko a piggyback ride if it would get them going faster, but he knew the suggestion wouldn't be well-received, so he kept it to himself.

This entire situation felt utterly, utterly horrible to Kagami, but he knew that it was much worse for Kuroko. Seirin's shadow was a fierce competitor on the basketball court, but off the court he was one of the most polite and reserved people Kagami had ever met. Kuroko kept careful boundaries between himself and others, not because he didn't care or because he wasn't an emotional person—Kagami knew very well that he was—but out of a desire not to intrude. It was very Japanese of him, really, and Kagami was never more aware of the cultural differences between this nation and the one he'd spent many of his formative years in than when he was with Kuroko.

And now all of those careful boundaries had been shattered. Kuroko hadn't wanted Kagami to know what was happening to him. Maybe he would have asked for help eventually, when he was ready, when he was truly comfortable and truly felt that he could trust Kagami with his troubles. Maybe. Kagami chose to believe that, anyway. But now that choice had been taken away from Kuroko in the most horrific and violent way possible. He had to be feeling dreadfully out of control, as if his life had ripped free of its moorings, as tenuous and haphazard as they may have been, and hurtled into the roughest part of the river.

Kagami didn't want to make anything worse for his friend. He didn't want to contribute to his loss of control and choice unless there was no other way. So Kagami would agree to skip the visit to the hospital, at least for now. He would not offer to carry Kuroko no matter how much easier it would make the journey. And he would sit here, waiting, until Kuroko was ready to move. 

The traffic signals blinked, on and off. Kuroko sat and breathed, long and steady. Slowly, slowly, the pallor of his face eased until he looked more like his usual self, though still profoundly disturbed and shattered under his usual veneer of serenity. His hands let go of his knees, the shaking eased, and his ramrod-straight posture began to relax.

At long last, Kuroko looked at Kagami and blinked, slow and meaningful.

"Are you ready?" Kagami asked.

Kuroko nodded. "Let's go home. Please."

Kagami gave a brisk nod and popped to his feet. He scooped up the bags and offered Kuroko a hand to haul him off the bench, but was not offended when Kuroko brushed aside the help and stood on his own. It was good that he was feeling strong and steady enough to do that. 

"Do you know which train we should take to get to my place from here?" Kagami asked.

Kuroko nodded and led the way. Kagami kept close behind him, his gaze barely wavering from Kuroko's figure all the way to the station and onto the correct train. He still couldn't help the feeling that Kuroko would disappear if he didn't keep an eye on him every step of the way. If anything, the feeling was stronger than ever now.

Kuroko had a lot of reasons to want to disappear. For the first time since they'd met, Kagami understood that.

On the train, Kuroko slumped into a seat and leaned his head back against the window. Exhaustion painted his face and loosened his limbs, akimbo at his sides. Kagami sat next to him instead of standing, this time. He sat close enough that their sleeves brushed, but not so close as to make Kuroko uncomfortable. Or so he hoped.

Kuroko fell asleep with his head lolling on the glass. Kagami watched him, staring as long as he wanted to, since Kuroko couldn't feel the gaze on him and be discomfitted. Kuroko's eyelids fluttered uneasily even in the depths of slumber, so it must not be very good or very restful. Hopefully he would sleep better once they got back to Kagami's apartment.

When he'd had his fill of staring at Kuroko, Kagami faced forward and gazed blankly into the distance. He was exhausted, too. But the night was far from over. He knew that he needed to do things, now. Probably a lot of things. But he didn't know what they were.

Kagami needed help. He knew without asking, though, that Kuroko didn't want anyone else to get involved. Kagami might be able to persuade him otherwise, given time, but for now... It was best to keep this between the two of them for as long as possible. Let Kuroko continue to feel at least a little sense of control. That would be the best thing.

But Kagami could ask for advice, at least. After a long, considering interval, Kagami pulled his phone from his pocket and opened the messaging service.

To: Himuro  
>>Aniki, I found out that one of my classmates is being abused by his father.

He stared at the message for a long time before he hit the send button. Abused. Kuroko was abused. It seemed like a horrible joke, like one of those sappy made-for-TV dramas that aired in America on Sunday afternoons. It didn't seem like it could possibly be happening to Kagami in real life. Surely that wasn't the way the world was supposed to work.

Alex used to like those dramas, sometimes, and Kagami and Himuro had been conned into watching a few with her when she was in a weird mood. Kagami usually fell asleep halfway through. Maybe Himuro remembered more.

Kagami touched the send button, then swallowed against the lump in his throat. He had no idea when Himuro would respond, if he even had his phone with him or would notice that he had a message. 

To: Himuro  
>>Before you tell me that I should tell the authorities, I know. I know I should. I probably won't, though. Not until he’s ready.  
>>I got him out of there. I'm taking him back to my home. I told him that he'll never have to go back to that place again.  
>>It was a stupid promise, maybe, but I made it. Now I want to keep it.  
>>What should I do, Aniki? I'm...scared.

Kagami stared for a long time at that last message, too. Longer than he had at the first one. Finally, he touched the send button. He let the hand holding his phone fall down to rest on his leg, and he looked up at the metal ceiling and blew out a long, gusty sigh.

This day was horrible. It was the worst.

The train rattled and shook as it chugged around a bend. Something small and warm touched against Kagami's shoulder, so soft and light that he barely noticed. He rolled his head over and looked down. Kuroko's head had slid against the glass, and now it was resting on Kagami's shoulder.

Kagami smiled and looked forward again. His heart hurt. His entire chest just _ached_ with all of the pressure and pain rushing through him. Things could be a lot, lot better. 

But they could also be worse.


	6. Chapter 6

"Kuroko. Look at me."

They were sitting on the floor in Kagami's apartment. In front of them on a low table were two plates of food, rapidly cooling. Kagami had insisted on warming up some leftovers when they finally arrived, but neither of them had eaten much. Even Kagami, he of the legendary stomach, had only picked at his food.

Eventually, Kuroko gave up. He pushed himself back from the table and just sat on the floor, his hands pressed against his churning stomach, his eyes staring fixedly at nothing in particular. Kagami's food was always delicious, but he tasted only ashes in his mouth.

He knew what was coming next, and dread was a tight band around his chest. It shortened his breath and numbed his mind. The thoughts in his head were a rush of white static, panicked and discordant.

"Kuroko." Kagami sighed, long and weary and far, far removed the being of pure energy he usually embodied. "Will you look at me, please? At least do that."

Slowly, slowly, Kuroko raised his head and met Kagami's eyes. He blinked when he realized that Kagami looked almost as pained as Kuroko himself felt. Guilt choked him with the sudden realization of what he was doing to the kindest, most generous person he knew.

He had to look away again, blinking as if he’d been looking too long at a fire. His eyes stung. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Why?" Kagami's voice was completely mystified.

"I'm causing you so much trouble. I'm intruding in your home. I'm..."

"Oh my God," Kagami burst out in English before immediately going back to Japanese. _"Stop that."_

Kuroko's eyes rose involuntarily to find Kagami's face again. That wasn't pain in his voice—it was exasperation. Kagami's face was screwed up in a tight grimace of irritation.

"For pity’s sake, Kuroko. You're my friend. You're not causing me trouble. Yeah, I'm hurting right now, but that's because you're hurt and I want to fix it. I want to... Ugh, I want to do so many things. But I can't do anything if you won't let me. I'm not gonna force you. So just... Stop looking so terrified, okay? You're safe here. You're safe now, with me, I swear it's true. I swear it."

Kuroko had to protest at that. "I know I am. I do. I just..."

"You know it in your head but not your heart." Kagami chuckled bitterly. "I know it will take time to convince you. I know... You've been through a lot, and not everything is going to be fixed right away. But we gotta start somewhere. So let's start with this."

Kagami scooted forward on the floor until he was right in front of Kuroko. Until their knees were almost touching. Kuroko, staring at the floor between them as if his life depended on it, watched his progress. Once he was close enough that Kuroko could hear every breath, sense every tiny vagary of movement, Kagami bent his head down to catch Kuroko's eyes. 

Kagami's eyes were fierce. His voice was low and crisp and certain. "You're safe. You're scared now because we made that deal, right? I wouldn't make you go to the hospital if you let me have a look, myself. But now we're back here and you're scared to go through with it. I get it. I'm not going to hold you to it. So relax now, please? Please just...don't be scared anymore. I won't force you to do anything. I'll wait as long as it takes and I'll do whatever I gotta do, because you're my friend and I want to. Okay? You’re safe. Even from me."

Kuroko fought for breath, for balance. Kagami never wavered. "Do you believe me?" he asked.

Kuroko struggled to hold his gaze, to not tear away and seek escape. He needed to be brave, he needed... Kagami's eyes were so bright. They were pure and bright and piercing, and never before had Kuroko been this incredibly, overwhelmingly aware of just how much light shone from this boy, from Kagami Taiga. Kuroko was a shadow, and he always had been, but never before had he been afraid of being burnt up in the sun.

But as he sat there, holding Kagami's stare with his own... It happened as it always did. The shadow strengthened in the light rather than being swallowed by it. Kuroko could feel his shoulders steadying, the churning in his stomach fading away. Kagami was strong, so strong that he could pass that strength along to anyone who happened to be near. Kuroko had seen and felt that on the basketball court. He saw and felt it now.

Eventually, Kuroko cut off the stare with a long, slow blink. He lifted his head and looked at Kagami straight on. Kagami raised himself from his bent position and looked back at him. 

Kuroko nodded. His voice was quiet, but it was steady, and he knew he spoke the truth. "I believe you."

Kagami slumped in relief, his eyes closing for a moment. It was as if he'd been fighting a long, hard battle and only now found out that he'd won. "Good. I'm glad."

Kuroko's hands clenched in the fabric over his stomach. "I'll...let you look. I know you...won't judge me."

Kagami shook his head. His lips pressed together. "Believe me, the only person I'm judging is the bastard who did this to you."

Kuroko hesitated. He wanted to ask Kagami not to call his father that. But...well...he didn't really have a right to complain, did he? And it wasn't as if it was a lie.

After another moment to steel himself, Kuroko wrapped his hands in the bottom hem of his t-shirt and began to lift it.

"Wait." Kagami was holding out a hand to forestall him. Kuroko glanced up, eyebrows raised.

Kagami fidgeted where he sat, his face flushed with discomfort. "There's something else I have to ask you." His right hand fiddled with his cell phone, which had been resting on his thigh since soon after they sat down with their food.

Kuroko blinked. "What is it?"

"I... Please forgive me, Kuroko, but I asked my brother for advice." At Kuroko's intake of breath, Kagami waved his hand. "I didn't tell him it was you! I just said I had a classmate... Anyway, I'm sorry, I know you don’t want anyone to know. But I needed help, so I asked him. He sent me a list of instructions not long ago, and..." Kagami bit his lip, then lifted the phone in his hand. "He said I should take pictures. For evidence. Will you let me?"

Kuroko stopped breathing. This went against everything, every command that had been beaten into him since he was eight years old. He didn't...he couldn't...

Kagami cursed in English. He leaned a little closer to Kuroko again, but didn't reach out to him. He could probably tell that Kuroko would fly to pieces at the lightest touch. He began to speak, low and fast. "Kuroko, don't be scared. I said you're safe here, remember? This is just...insurance. If maybe someday you feel ready, ready to talk to the authorities about this, we'll need to have more than just our word against his. But if you're never ready, that's okay, too. I'll move all the pictures to a flash drive and give it to you, and you can keep it or throw it away or whatever you need to do. But just in case, all right? Just in case."

"Yes," Kuroko said, interrupting the deluge of words. "All right."

Kagami sat back. He clasped his hands together to keep them still. "Are you sure?" 

Kuroko nodded. He was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of hiding, tired of thinking. If Kagami thought it was necessary, Kuroko would let him. He would trust Kagami to take care of him.

Once Kuroko made that decision, everything became much, much easier. _Just let Kagami take care of it._ That took away the burden Kuroko had been carrying, and the relief that flooded his body was as powerful as any drug.

He removed his shirt and endured Kagami's cut-off gasp of horror at the sight. Kuroko knew how bad it looked. He'd been avoiding mirrors and changing in bathroom stalls for a while.

Kagami took pictures of the deep purple blotches that littered Kuroko's abdomen. The finger-shaped bruises on his upper arms, brown and fading yellow. The red welts that striped his back. He asked Kuroko if he was having trouble breathing, if any of his ribs felt cracked or broken. Kuroko shook his head. Kagami asked how long this had been going on. Kuroko said nothing.

It was a complicated question. One month or eight years? Either answer would be accurate.

Through it all, Kagami was careful not to get too close. When he first moved around to look at Kuroko's back (with another awful gasp, quickly buried), Kagami started to reach out. But he stopped himself, his hands hovering in midair. After a moment, he drew them back.

At first, Kuroko was grateful for the distance. He felt like his entire being was a poorly built barrier trembling at the force of everything pushing against him. Like a dam in a swollen river with every timber creaking and every joint springing leaks. If he fell to pieces, he didn't know how he would ever put himself back together.

Once he made the decision to let go and trust Kagami, though, this feeling began to fade. It was replaced with bone-deep weariness and something like muted, detached curiosity. Eventually Kuroko found himself watching Kagami's hovering hands and nervous gestures with a dull eye. He wondered what was wrong with him.

Kagami was one of the most touchy-feely people Kuroko knew, notwithstanding the fact that all high school athletes tended to be a pretty touchy-feely lot, as a rule. They were always giving each other head pats and back rubs and high fives. Once he settled into the team, Kagami had proved to be as physically affectionate as the worst of them. He didn't always know when to stop, either.

Kuroko blamed America for that. He blamed America for a lot of Kagami's social blunders.

But now, Kagami was holding back. As Kuroko's weariness increased, enveloping his mind in a thick fog, he forgot why. A small pit of achiness took up residence in the center of his chest. Was Kagami disgusted to touch him, now? Kuroko knew that he was worthless, that he didn't merit anyone's consideration or concern. But Kagami had never seemed to think so, before.

Kuroko never should have taken Kagami home. He'd known it would be a risk, but he had fully intended to push Kagami out the door before it got late enough to be a problem. He'd gotten caught up in the moment and forgotten to watch the time, and that was his fault. But he hadn't realized the price would be so high.

"Kuroko. Kuroko." Kagami's voice gradually faded into Kuroko's crowded perception. He blinked and looked up.

Kagami's face was creased in concern. "Are you in pain? I have medicine. And..." He glanced at Kuroko's shoulder, where a livid welt had wrapped around and almost struck his collarbone. That had been a bad one. Kuroko had been afraid that he might have to miss school. And basketball practice. That might have killed him.

Kagami's eyes moved back to Kuroko's face. His expression was pleading, which Kuroko didn't understand. "I also have...pain cream. If you'd let me..."

Kuroko nodded.

"Are you sure? Don't force yourself."

Kuroko swallowed. His voice was a breathy croak. "Please."

_Please don't treat me differently now. Please don't look at me like I'm broken, even though I am. Please be kind to me, but don't avoid me. Please don't let this change us. Please don't let him tear down what we built._

Kagami nodded instantly and leapt to his feet. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

Kuroko almost smiled. Where would he go? Now that he was here, he never wanted to leave. Maybe it was an American joke.

Kagami returned in only a few moments. He gave Kuroko a pill and a glass of water, then settled behind him with a tube of pain-relieving gel in his hand. Kuroko took his medicine and hunched over, waiting.

Kagami was silent for a moment, as if he was figuring out where to start. Then he touched Kuroko's shoulder—very lightly—to warn him. And he began.

"Did I tell you that I played some streetball last week? It was after you got on the train. I was gonna take a bus back home, but then I saw a court with a bunch of guys..."

Kagami kept talking in a smooth, continuous chatter designed to calm and distract. Kuroko slowly relaxed, listening to the detailed play-by-play of Kagami's streetball game. The other guys had been in college, athletes from a nearby university, but Kagami had had no trouble keeping up with them. And of course, his team had won. But it was a close fight.

"They were good players," Kagami said, the excitement of the game surging in his voice. "I'll look for that court again if I'm ever in the area..."

His hands on Kuroko's back were warm, and gentle, and very, very kind.

At some point, Kuroko started crying. He kept it quiet and still, a skill he'd learned through pain and error. Only tears, no sniffling or sobbing. No shaking. He didn't want Kagami to know. He didn't want Kagami to stop. 

Kagami didn't. He kept going, soothing Kuroko with his hands and his voice. It was so nice. Kuroko couldn't believe how nice it was.

He didn't know why he was crying. Maybe he was just tired and overwhelmed, or maybe all of the barriers had burst before he noticed. The dam had been washed away, rushing downstream, and now Kuroko had no resistance to the feelings roaring through him. They were too many, too strong for him to even understand what they were. They just poured through him, torrential, neverending, and all he could do was let the tears slip down his cheeks one after the other after the other.

After what seemed like a long time, Kagami's voice stopped. His hands ceased their ministrations on Kuroko's back. Kuroko looked up and found Kagami looking at him, his face wrenched up in sorrow. He'd noticed the tears.

Kuroko sat up straight and tried to rub them away with his hands, but it was too late. Kagami knew. Kagami knew everything. There was no point in hiding anymore.

Kagami was holding Kuroko's shirt in his hands. He held it out wordlessly, and Kuroko nodded. Kagami slipped the shirt over his head and helped him pull his arms where they belonged. Kuroko was so tired that he couldn't even dress himself. It was so pathetic that he could have laughed, if he wasn't still crying.

"Kuroko." Kagami's hands were on his shoulders, curled as if to hold him but not gripping tight. "Kuroko, is it okay if I hug you? I really want to hug you."

"Kagami-kun is so kind," Kuroko murmured. "Kind to want to and kind to ask."

"I know...most Japanese people aren't big on hugging. It's too...much. But I'm kind of American, you know, and...if you can put up with it, I really want to give you a hug now."

Kuroko nodded. "Please."

Kagami leaned forward and folded him into his arms. It was like being captured by a very strong, very gentle octopus. Kagami held him carefully, aware of the wounds on his back, but he also held him completely. His head ducked down against Kuroko's shoulder, and his fingers splayed out to cover more area. Kuroko had never been hugged like this, never, not even by his mom when he was very small.

After a moment to acclimate to this new state of things, Kuroko timidly brought his arms forward and wrapped them around Kagami's middle in return. His pressed his damp face to the front of Kagami's shoulder and closed his eyes. He could feel Kagami trembling. They were both shaking now. 

Kagami was right. It was too much. But they stayed like that for a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

Kuroko was asleep in Kagami's spare room. He lay on his side with his back to the wall and his face toward the door, as if he needed to keep a watch out even in unconsciousness. His body was curled up in a ball, his knees almost touching his chest. He was already covered with blankets, but Kagami fought the urge to go fetch about ten more from the cupboard and pile them on top of him, just to make sure. Kuroko needed to be warm, and he needed to feel safe and sheltered, and...

Kagami turned away from the doorway where he'd been standing, watching Kuroko sleep, and rubbed a hand over his face. He should go to bed too, probably. Wow, this had been a long day. They'd both been through the wringer, physically and emotionally, though it was obviously worse for Kuroko.

Kagami plodded into his bedroom and fell into his desk chair, immediately hunching forward to stare at his phone, held in both hands. The list of instructions from Himuro dominated the screen.

From: Himuro  
>>Treat any wounds.  
>>Make sure he has something to eat and drink.  
>>Tell him he's safe.   
>>Be kind and gentle.  
>>I don't know why I'm telling you all of this, Taiga. I know you already know. I guess I'm just shocked and I'm stating the obvious.  
>>Oh, there are a few more things you should do, too.  
>>Try to take pictures of any wounds for evidence for the police.  
>>Write down everything you witnessed in as much detail as you can. You should do that as soon as possible, while it's fresh on your mind.  
>>When he's ready to talk, listen with all your strength. You might want to try recording it for evidence. But don't do anything without his consent.  
>>These will be important for later, when you're able to persuade your classmate to go to the authorities.  
>>Also, very importantly, don't take too much of the burden onto yourself. You're going to have to let this go.

Kagami stared at the last one. He didn't understand it at all. He had no intention of letting Kuroko go. Never. Why the hell would Himuro ask him to?

To: Himuro  
>>Thanks, Aniki. You've been a big help. But what do you mean, I'm going to have to let this go? That's not gonna happen.

Kagami turned to his desk and set the phone aside as he pulled a composition book and pen toward himself. It was a good idea to write down everything he could as soon as possible. Kagami's mind was hardly a steel trap, and he knew this was all important. Already, some of the awful insults Kuroko's father had thrown at him were fading from Kagami's mind, not least because they were so terrible that he didn't much like remembering them. What was it he had called him? A filthy little beast?

What the hell. What kind of father said that to his son? Not a good one, that was for sure.

Slowly, laboriously, Kagami began to write. He started at the beginning, several weeks ago, when he had first started to realize that something was wrong with Kuroko. It was all evidence.

His phone buzzed with a text notification. Grateful for the distraction, Kagami set his pen aside and picked it up.

From: Himuro  
>>I mean that I know you, Taiga. You get caught up in things. You care too much. It's good that you care about your classmate,  
>>but you can't fix everything on your own. Once he's ready to talk to the authorities, you have to let them take it from there.

Kagami frowned. Himuro still wasn't making any sense.

To: Himuro  
>>Of course I'll let the police take care of whatever they need to do. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking after my classmate.  
>>I already told him he's safe and that he'll never have to go back to his old home. That means he's staying with me.

From: Himuro  
>>See, that's what I mean, you can't just... You can't just have some random kid move in with you FOREVER because you feel sorry for him.  
>>This is so like you, Taiga. You always let your feelings overwhelm you. It makes me worry about you. I don't want you to get hurt.

To: Himuro  
>>I'm not going to get hurt. I have no idea what you're talking about. And I'm not getting overwhelmed by my feelings.  
>>This is the only natural response to have to this situation. I don't understand why you're worried. I'm fine. 

From: Himuro  
>>NO, that's not... Okay, this isn't working. I'm going to call you. Words on a screen are obviously not enough.

Seconds after that message arrived, the phone began to ring. Kagami startled a bit at the loud noise coming from his cupped hands, and he quickly accepted the call to make the phone shut up. He didn't want to wake Kuroko with this nonsense.

He put the phone to his ear. "Aniki?"

Himuro responded with a loud sigh. "Taiga."

Despite the situation, Kagami was glad to hear his brother's voice. Some of the tension he'd been carrying in his shoulders began to bleed away. "What exactly are you trying to tell me, huh? Why would you worry about me? There's nothing to be worried about."

"I'm worried because this is a big mess, Taiga, and you're caught up in it. I don't think you're ready for it."

"I'm fine," Kagami repeated. "I chose to get involved. Yeah, I'm not ready for it, obviously, but I can fix that. I asked you for advice, didn't I? I'm not a complete idiot."

"I know you're not an idiot. That's not the problem here."

"Then what is the problem? I don't understand you."

Himuro blew out a breath, noisy in the phone. Kagami frowned but didn't move. He held the phone jammed against his ear and listened as hard as he could.

"The problem is that...this is a big deal, all right? Your classmate is going to have a lot of problems. Abuse is... God, it's awful. Here in Japan they call it 'murdering the soul.' Dealing with the physical wounds, that's the easy part. Your classmate is going to need an enormous amount of support. For years. Maybe for the rest of his life. You're just a teenager, yourself. Your dad isn't around...and don't think I don't worry about that, too. And damn it, Akita is really far away, so it's not like I'm around either..."

Kagami grunted. "Now you're talking like I'm the one who needs support."

"Maybe you do. You definitely will, if you're taking on something like this. So maybe you should think about taking a step back. Not tonight, not tomorrow, but when you can. When your classmate has other people he can rely on."

"Not gonna happen. I'm in this, Aniki. I get that you're saying it's a big commitment, and I don't know what I'm getting into. But I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out."

Himuro groaned loudly. "Dammit, Taiga..."

Kagami clenched his teeth. "And don't you think maybe you're underestimating me? What makes you think that I can't handle this, or that I can't figure out how to handle it? Do you have that little faith in me?" 

"I have all the faith in the world in you, idiot. You have common sense and you learn fast. Not to mention how unfairly talented you are at basketball. But this big heart of yours...it gets you into trouble. Do you remember the kitten? Because I do. I remember the kitten."

The corner of Kagami's mouth curled up at the memory. The kitten had been tiny, and helpless, and adorable. He did not regret that incident for one second, even though it was a major contributing factor to his current fear of dogs. "Yeah, I remember."

"Remember how you couldn't play basketball for three weeks because of the stitches? I'm just worried that this situation is going to turn out like that one. You're gonna end up in the middle of pack of wild dogs before you realize it, and you're gonna get mauled again. I don't want to see that happen."

"It won't. Don't worry about me, Aniki. I'm fine. It's my...my classmate that you should be worried about. I already confronted his father once, and the guy couldn't lay a finger on me. It's not going to be an issue."

There was a soft thumping noise on the other end, as if Himuro was banging his head against a table or a wall. "Dammit, Taiga, that's not what I meant..."

Kagami blinked. "You were talking about the wild dogs. I'm telling you that I'm not going to get mauled again. Right?"

"That was...supposed to be...a metaphor..." The thumping continued.

"For what? You really should spell these things out for me."

"For...emotional problems. For suddenly having a roommate who will have issues with post-traumatic stress and self-esteem and probably depression. For things you and I can't even begin to guess. This is...uncharted water. I did a little research after you texted me, but all it taught me was that neither of us are qualified to deal with this."

Kagami frowned. He thought he'd already made this clear. "Then we'll figure it out. Me and...my classmate. We'll work through it together. I'm not giving up on him, Aniki. Stop asking me to."

Himuro was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, resignation tinted his voice. "Sounds like you've made up your mind."

Kagami nodded, even though his brother couldn't see him. "From the moment I realized what was going on, yeah. I'm in this for the long haul. And I know maybe that sounds stupid and naive, coming from 'just a teenager,' but I'm serious. I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

"I know." Himuro's voice was sober. "If nothing else, at least having this conversation has convinced me of that. I'm glad I called you, anyway, even if we didn't really accomplish anything."

Kagami smiled, broad and genuine. "I'm glad you called, too. I...I really did appreciate hearing your voice."

"It's been a long day, huh?" Himuro sighed. There was a rustling on the other end as if he was settling down somewhere, getting comfortable. "At least promise me you'll take care of yourself, even while you're busy taking care of your classmate. Okay?"

"I promise."

"Good." More rustling on the other end. Himuro's voice went quiet, grumbling, "I just don't get why you're going to such lengths for some classmate you haven't even known for a whole year yet..."

Kagami said nothing. 

"I mean, I know how kind you are and how quickly you get attached to people. You think you talk a big game, acting stand-offish for the first thirty seconds, but after that it all goes out the window. I suppose it’s possible that you could be this devoted to someone just because they sit near you in a classroom. But you’ve been so busy with basketball and everything that happened there, I didn’t think you had time to make friends with anyone else…”

Kagami felt his face turning red. Never let it be said that Himuro Tatsuya was stupid. Let him chew on any oddity long enough, and he would figure it out. There was nothing Kagami could say that would stop what was coming next.

“Hey, what are you going to tell your team?” Himuro asked. “Aren’t they going to think it’s strange that you suddenly have a roommate? Or will…”

Kagami braced himself.

Himuro’s words cut off with a loud, horrified gasp. “Oh. Oh my God.”

Kagami leaned his head on his hand. His eyes were beginning to droop.

“Your classmate… It’s Kuroko, isn’t it?”

“You figured it out,” Kagami said dully. He was so tired that his eyes were starting to cross. And he still needed to finish that writing.

“You said once that you and Kuroko were in the same class. But I never, never would have guessed…”

“No one did. Please don’t tell anyone. He’s not ready.”

“I won’t.” Himuro’s voice had gone very quiet and very serious. 

“Do you understand now, at least? You get why I can’t step back from this, no matter what it costs me?”

“I understand. But this just makes me even more concerned for your well-being. I know how close you two are. Seeing Kuroko in this much pain must be unbearable for you.”

Kagami did not disagree.

“And you said you confronted his father, and he couldn’t lay a finger on you…”

“Yeah,” Kagami let out a breathless little chuckle. “He’s a very small, pathetic man. Stronger than he looks… But nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Taiga, tell me what happened.”

Kagami glanced at the composition book. He didn’t know if he had it in him to tell this story twice.

“Could you...write it down for me, then? I started writing what I remembered, but then you called, and I’m...I’m really tired, Aniki.”

“Sure. I can do that.” Himuro’s voice was warm and kind. Kagami listened to movements on the other end, the squeak of a desk chair, the ruffling of paper. “Tell me everything.”

Kagami got up from his own desk chair and lay down on his bed, sprawling out with one hand holding the phone to his ear, the other clenched loosely over his stomach. Then he started to talk.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've reached the end of my reserve of writing for this story, so from now on, chapters will be posted as I finish them. They probably won't be daily anymore, but sometimes I get super focused and write really quickly, so who knows.

Kuroko's internal clock woke him at the same time he woke every day—early. For a moment he was disoriented, blinking around the strange room without comprehension. Where was he? The place seemed...vaguely familiar... But also not, as if he'd never seen the room from this perspective before. 

Then his eyes fell on his duffel bag, half unpacked on the floor against the wall with clothing items scattered around it. Last night returned to him in a rush, and Kuroko's breath caught in his throat. He felt like a hole had opened in his gut, and he curled around it, struggling to cope. It was over. Everything was over. Kuroko had failed. 

He'd fought so hard, for so long, and it had all been for nothing. He hadn't been able to fix anything. Instead, he'd ended up being broken.

He pushed these feelings down as viciously as he could, knowing they were unworthy. Kagami had given him a great deal already. He'd opened his home and his heart to Kuroko without the slightest hesitation. Kuroko couldn't let him see just how devastated he felt, how empty and worthless. It wasn't Kagami's fault. He couldn't hurt him with this.

After a little while of just lying there in his soft pile of blankets, the sense of inadequacy and loss began to fade. It was replaced with a strange and all-encompassing weariness. Kuroko knew that he'd slept for a decent length, but it had failed to restore his energy. He always felt tired in the morning, not fully waking up until the school day was already in full swing, but this was worse than usual.

Kuroko could hear movement beyond the closed door, in the other rooms of the apartment. A pop song began playing on a speaker, bright and jarring. Kagami's voice whistled cheerily along. The refrigerator door opened, a cupboard slammed, silverware clinked against ceramic.

Kuroko was used to silence in the morning. Even before the current troubles began, his father had never been one to spend any time breaking his fast at home. He would just brew some coffee and leave after downing a cup or two. Lately, the smell of coffee no longer woke Kuroko in the morning, since his father was sleeping away his drunkenness. Kuroko had almost begun to find it comforting, how silent and dead his home felt in the mornings.

But as he lay there, listening to Kagami move around, his big feet thumping on the floor, his awkward singing as he tried to join on the pop song's chorus... Kuroko found that he liked the noise. It was pleasant to know that someone else shared these rooms with him, someone who was large and expansive and kind. It was...not lonely.

Kuroko dragged himself to his feet, leaving his bedding in a mound behind him, and padded to the door of the room. He was sore, his arms and torso aching with every movement, but that was normal now. He moved smoothly despite it, knowing that it would appear effortless. Kagami might see through the facade, but Kuroko couldn't break the habit of hiding, not now. He still had to go to school.

Kuroko's hand hesitated on the door. Opening doors had become a dangerous thing in his world. His father reacted unpredictably to Kuroko's presence—sometimes he snarled at him to get out of his sight, sometimes he yelled at him to stop cowering away. Kuroko had become used to sheltering in his room whenever he had the chance. Opening the door was dangerous.

But this was Kagami's place. This door wasn't dangerous. Kuroko was going to have get over all the strange habits he had learned, or Kagami was going to think he was a freak.

After another moment to steel himself, Kuroko opened the door and stepped into the hall. Kagami's voice was louder now. Early morning sunlight beamed in the windows. It was spring. It was going to be a lovely day. 

Kuroko made his slow, plodding way to the kitchen and found Kagami standing at the counter, bent over a bowl of cereal and milk. His spoon was sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he tipped the box of cereal to dump in more cornflakes, his other hand tapping the counter in time with the song on the radio. At Kuroko's appearance, he raised his eyebrows and took the spoon out of his mouth so he could speak.

"Your bedhead is still ridiculous, I see."

Kuroko glanced upward as if he would be able to see his own hair. All he saw was the messy fringe just above his eyes. He was sure Kagami was right, though. "Good morning, Kagami-kun," he mumbled, fighting down a yawn.

"Good morning, Kuroko." Kagami almost sang the words, still bouncing along with that pop song.

Kuroko stumbled the rest of the way to the counter and leaned against it opposite Kagami, watching him pour his cornflakes. "You like western-style breakfast?"

Kagami nodded. "You're not surprised, are you? It's just easy in the morning to have cereal and milk, that's all. But I wish Japanese grocery stores carried more than three kinds of cereal." He sighed gustily. "I really miss Captain Crunch."

Kuroko blinked. Kagami eyed him speculatively as he shoveled cornflakes into his mouth. "What do you want for breakfast? I bet you're traditional. Miso soup and rice? I'm sorry, I didn't set the rice cooker last night, but we can do that from now on, if you want."

Kuroko tilted his head. "That's kind of you to offer," he murmured.

Kagami shrugged. "No big deal. We'll go shopping after school and get the things you like. For now, what do you want? There's still leftovers from last night, or I can do eggs for you. I make a lot more than just boiled ones." He smiled at that, eyes sparkling, and nodded his head like he expected Kuroko to be in on the joke.

Kuroko was too tired to remember what Kagami was referencing. Probably some anime or movie that Kuroko hadn't watched. He narrowed his eyes and looked behind Kagami at the fridge. "Do you have natto?"

Kagami blanched and almost choked on his cereal. "You mean that weird soybean dish?"

Kuroko frowned at him. "It's not weird. It's traditional."

Kagami made a face. "It's rotten beans strung together with...rot."

"They're not rotten. They're fermented."

"They smell rotten. They smell like the feet of an entire basketball team after a really long, high-scoring game."

Kuroko squinted at him. "I know you spent a lot of time in America, but you're still Japanese. Didn't your parents introduce you to your native foods?"

Kagami shuddered. He jammed more cornflakes into his mouth as if to rid himself of the phantom taste. "I've had it before. I never learned to like it, and my dad didn't force me. So to answer your question, no, I don't have any natto hanging out in my fridge and making everything smell like noxious gas."

Kuroko looked down at the counter. He sighed, but he was too tired to be disappointed. He'd already been prepared to accept Kagami's strange quirks. This was just another one. 

Kagami lowered his spoon into his bowl with a muffled clink. After a moment, he leaned forward and caught Kuroko's eyes. "Oi. I said we'll get what you like after school, didn't I? We'll buy some natto then, so you can have it tomorrow."

"But you said you don't want it making your fridge smell."

Kagami shrugged. "I'll get used to it." But his face looked pained. 

Kuroko nodded slowly. If Kagami wanted to buy natto, that was all right. Kuroko wasn't going to push it, though.

Kagami watched him carefully for a moment, as if he was trying to figure something out. Then he pushed aside his bowl, making the leftover milk slosh around, and went to the fridge. "I'll make you some eggs. Scrambled. Ketchup on top. You'll like it."

"You don't have to cook breakfast for me, Kagami-kun. I can just have cereal, like you."

Kagami shook his head. He was already setting ingredients on the counter and pulling a pan down from a cupboard. "I want to. You need nutritious food. You've lost weight. Eggs are full of nutrients. And it will only take a few minutes, so it's no trouble."

Kuroko didn't quite believe this. If it was no trouble, why didn't Kagami cook eggs for himself instead eating an "easy" bowl of cereal? But Kagami seemed determined, focused on his task, so Kuroko let it go. He leaned on the counter on his forearms and watched Kagami work. 

Kagami moved around the kitchen with the grace of Aomine on the court, effortless and controlled, not a second wasted. It was like watching a well-practiced dance, and it was beautiful in its way. Kuroko rested his head on his arm and let his eyes glaze over. If only he could sleep here, for just a few minutes. He was still so tired...

A plate of steaming food appeared in front of Kuroko's face, and he opened his eyes and pushed himself to his feet, staring down at it. Kagami grinned and pressed a pair of chopsticks into his hand. "Eat up! Let me know how you like it."

"Thank you for the food," Kuroko murmured. Now that the scrambled eggs were right in front him, their delicious smell wafting through the apartment, his mouth began to water and his stomach growled. It was something of a revelation. Kuroko hadn't felt hunger like this for days and days.

The food was as tasty as it looked. As Kagami had promised it would be. Kuroko ate every bite, then had to refrain from licking the plate. He looked at Kagami with wide eyes, and Kagami grinned in return. "Told ya you would like it."

"I did. Very much." Kuroko set the plate down on the counter, then gave Kagami a bow. "My sincere compliments to the chef."

Kagami chuckled, warm and pleasant. When Kuroko straightened and faced him again, his eyes were sparkling. "Ah, Kuroko. There's color in your face again. You've been... Well. You're always pale, but lately it's been too much. It's good to see you looking better."

Kuroko raised a hand to his face and touched his cheek, as if he could tell the difference by feeling his skin. It was true that he felt better than he had when he woke up. Steadier. Stronger.

"You still don't look back to yourself, though," Kagami went on, eyebrows lowering in concern. "I guess you won't, not for a while. But we'll keep working on it."

Kuroko nodded.

Kagami glanced at the clock on the stove, blinking digital numbers like the countdown of a bomb. He sighed when he saw how late it was. "I wish we didn't have school today."

"At least it's Friday."

Kagami looked back to him. "You don't have to go, though. I can take a message that you're not feeling well. It wouldn't be a lie. I know you need more rest. You look done in, and you just woke up."

Kuroko shook his head. "I'm fine. I've felt much worse on other school mornings, and I still made it through the day."

Kagami frowned. "But you don't have to do that anymore. You don't have to force yourself."

"I want to go to school," Kuroko said, almost loudly, and then had to blink at the sound of his own voice.

Kagami raised his hands in surrender. "All right, all right. Whatever you want."

Kuroko leaned down on the counter again, burying his face in his arms to hide his shame. That wasn't really what he'd meant, but it was all he could say.

_I want to be normal. I want to have classes and basketball practice and go home satisfied in the evening. I want to spend time with my friends and my classmates and my team, see their smiles and hear their laughter. I want to give what I can, whether that's a mediocre reading when the teacher calls on me or one of the passes that only I can do in the game I love. I want to be whole and human and myself, not this shadow of a shadow I've become._

He had no words to convey this. Perhaps Kagami understood, anyway. Beyond the darkened shelter of his arms, Kuroko could hear Kagami moving around the kitchen, rinsing dishes in the sink, wiping the counter and the stove. His movements were gentle and his footsteps were light. He did not try to force Kuroko out of his sudden funk, just gave him space and time to work through it.

After a proper interval, Kuroko drew in a deep, bracing breath and pushed himself upward off the cool surface of the counter. Upright, he swayed, blinking as his vision adjusted to the bright morning light again. Kagami paused to look at him, a dish towel slung over his shoulder. 

"Feeling a little better?" he asked.

Kuroko nodded. "I should...get dressed for the day."

Kagami's eyes held him where he was, piercing and inescapable. "Would you like me to..." He hesitated for a split second, then plunged on. "I could treat your back again, if that's okay. I know it must be still hurting you."

Kuroko held very still for a moment, considering. Then he nodded. "Yes, please. But... Let's get ready for the day first. Then...right before we leave. Please?"

Maybe that would help. Maybe the memory of that kindness and care, right before Kuroko had to leave this place of shelter to face the world again, would help brace him through the day. Kuroko would take every bit of extra strength he could gather. He knew he would need it. 

Kagami nodded. "Sure. Whenever you want. Just say the word."

By the time they settled on the floor in the main room again, Kuroko shirtless and Kagami with the tube of pain-relieving gel, this was almost starting to feel routine. Kuroko was much more relaxed this time, though he couldn't help the remnants of tension that stiffened his shoulders and bowed his back. Kagami was just as kind and careful as the first time, again chattering about nothing in particular to provide distraction.

Afterward, Kuroko put on his uniform shirt and jacket without assistance. They stood, neither looking at each other in an attempt to relieve some of the awkwardness. Kuroko found that his hands were fidgeting at his sides, as if they needed to do something. He couldn't help the feeling that they were forgetting something, that the task was not completed...

A spark lit in Kuroko's mind, and he turned to face Kagami. "K-Kagami-kun..."

Kagami looked back at him, eyebrows rising. "Yeah? What is it?"

Kuroko eyes fled to the side, his face flaming. His hands clenched into nervous fists, then lowered to his sides. "I... Would you..."

"Yeah?"

Kuroko glanced up and met Kagami's eyes for a bare second, before his gaze slipped away again, unable to hold that fierce stare. "Could you... Please... Hug me again?"

Kagami was silent for a second. "Really?"

His voice was shocked. But it was not displeased. At all.

Kuroko dared to look in his face again. "Please. I'd like you to give me a hug, if you don't mind."

And Kagami grinned, wide and soft and happy and bright. "Of course! As many as you want."

Kuroko nodded. Kagami stepped forward and wrapped him into his arms again. Standing, the height difference between them was more pronounced. Kagami turned his face and rested his cheek on the top of Kuroko's head. Kuroko wrapped his arms around Kagami's waist and did his best not to feel like a very, very tiny child.

As before, Kuroko felt himself taking strength from the contact, as if it was flowing directly from Kagami's spirit and into his own. He did his best to resist the feeling of guilt that overshadowed him, the sense that he was a parasite and a leech. He couldn't help the way he felt almost entirely dependent on Kagami right now: for comfort, for clarity, for the fortitude to make it through another day. It was a bad feeling and he didn't like it, but it couldn't be helped.

Besides, Kuroko couldn't truly be a parasite, because Kagami did not seem weakened at all by what was being taken from him. Rather, it was freely offered, a gift from an overflowing heart. Kagami had plenty and to spare.

Kuroko couldn't feel guilty for that. A tree was not a parasite to the sun.

Kagami waited until Kuroko let go first, loosening his arms and stepping back a bit in Kagami's careful hold. Kagami let him go, let him retreat, though he watched him with careful eyes. "All right?" he asked. 

Kuroko nodded. If he wasn't ready now, he never would be. "Let's go to school."

One more day. He just had to get through one more day. Kuroko had been telling himself the same thing for weeks now. But today, it didn't feel like a lie.


	9. Chapter 9

The school day passed relatively smoothly for Kuroko, as far as Kagami could tell. Kuroko dozed through most of their classes, which was as it should be. The guy obviously needed to sleep for about a week. If he insisted on coming to school anyway, he should at least get some shuteye at his desk. The teachers never noticed, naturally. 

Kagami had packed bentos for both of them rather than relying on the bread counter for lunch. When Kagami placed the bento in front of him, Kuroko blinked at it dazedly for a few seconds, then raised his head to look at Kagami, who was twisted almost backward in his desk chair to face him. "What is this?"

"Your lunch," Kagami said patiently. 

Kuroko stared at it without comprehension. "But I didn't bring one."

"I brought it for you, dummy. Eat up."

"I'm not hungry, though. I wasn't planning to eat lunch today."

"Try." Tired of sitting twisted up in his chair, Kagami stood and slung his leg over to sit on it backward. He reached out and pulled on the knot of the bento's wrapping, which made it fall open. "You should eat. And how often do you skip lunch, anyway?"

Kuroko shrugged. He eyed the bento with something like distrust. "When I don't feel like eating, I don't eat."

"It's a miracle you made it this long," Kagami said. He poked the box with one finger, scooting it closer to his friend. "How do you expect to get stronger if you don't eat? You need to get back what you lost. Come on. Eat."

Kuroko slumped. "Kagami-kun is pushy," he muttered. 

Kagami tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. If Kuroko wasn't going to take care of himself, Kagami was going to damn well do it for him. That was all there was to it. "C'mon. You'll need the energy for basketball practice."

That was the magic word. Kuroko sat up straighter and opened the bento. He stared down at the food for a moment, as if gathering himself, then picked up the chopsticks and began. Once he started, he kept going.

Kagami watched him for a little while, unable to resist the small, satisfied smile that crept across his face. It was strangely gratifying to watch someone eat food that he had made. And for all his protests, Kuroko did seem to be enjoying it.

Kagami sat forward to eat his own lunch. The day was going well. Maybe Himuro was wrong. Maybe Kuroko wasn't going to have a whole swarm of problems Kagami didn't even understand. Maybe he would just heal, and get stronger, and be Kagami's roommate from now on. Kagami could hope, anyway.

But basketball practice was a disaster. 

Kuroko was off his game. Not only could he not make a single shot at the basket, but his passes kept missing, too. No one knew how to deal with it. Kuroko was always so reliable that having him suddenly making mistakes threw the entire team into disarray.

"Get it together, Kuroko!" Hyuuga yelled after the sixth pass to him bounced off his fingers at a bad angle. He cursed and shook out his hand, face turning red. Kagami didn't really blame him. Hyuuga's fingers must be throbbing. Kagami could handle Kuroko's small errors, but his palms were stinging from the force of the passes, and the rest of the team wasn't as used to it as he was.

Kagami also knew that this wasn't a good time to be yelling at Kuroko. But he could hardly say that aloud—it would only embarrass him. Kagami could only watch with an unhappy lack of surprise as Kuroko's passes got even worse, even more off balance. On an ordinary day Kuroko would take any admonishment as a challenge and work hard to meet it. Today was not an ordinary day.

Kuroko's expression remained flat and serene. He was far too good at shutting down his visible emotions. But that didn't mean he didn't feel them.

Finally, mercifully, Coach Riko blew her whistle. "Enough!" she yelled. "Five minute break!"

The players immediately scattered off the court, grateful for the reprieve. Kuroko moved over to the wall and sat down, staring at the floor in silence. Kagami accepted a towel from Furihata and stood on the sidelines to mop his face. He wasn't surprised when Riko approached him.

"Kagami." She kept her voice low, but her eyes were worried. "What's wrong with Kuroko? He's incredibly tense. He didn't relax at all when he got here today. What's changed?"

A few weeks ago Kagami would have blustered at her, asking where she got off thinking he would know something like that, that he wasn't Kuroko's keeper and he couldn't read the weirdo's blank expression any better than anyone else could. Both he and Riko knew that wasn't true, though. Not anymore. If it ever had been.

"I think I know," Kagami said grimly. "I think it's my fault."

Riko raised her eyebrows.

Kagami closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and looked at her again. "Before today, basketball practice was his haven, a place where he could forget everything and just enjoy his passion." He was pretty sure that this was also why Kuroko had been following Kagami home from school every day for as long as he dared. Kagami—blind, foolish Kagami—had been ignorant of the suffering Kuroko was enduring at home, and so his presence had become a place where Kuroko could forget. At least for a while.

"But now that's tainted," Kagami said so softly that even he could barely hear himself. "I know Kuroko's secret. My presence is a reminder. He can't...he can't forget, not even for an hour."

Riko's eyes widened in dismay. "You know..."

Kagami nodded miserably. "I know."

She didn't ask him to tell her what it was. She probably knew that he couldn't. "Then it's...not fixed...?"

Kagami pressed a hand to his chest. He _ached._ If only it had been a bully. If only it had been some jerk at school. If only it had been something small and petty and easy to deal with.

If only Himuro had been wrong.

Kagami shook his head. "No. It's not."

Riko groaned softly and looked across the court to where Kuroko sat. He was hunched forward, folded into himself. Kiyoshi Teppei had plopped down beside him and was talking to him gently. Kuroko nodded his head at random intervals, but Kagami didn't think he was truly listening at all. 

"What should we do?" Riko asked. It sounded like she was talking to herself, her voice sad and quiet, but Kagami answered anyway.

"I was gonna ask you that."

Riko stood very still, staring over the empty court. Kagami fidgeted. He eyed her out of the corner of his eye. Was he supposed to do something about this? Or should he leave her alone? Was she thinking hard, or had she blown a circuit?

After a minute or so, Riko blinked and looked at Kagami again. "Well, nothing will change if we just keep going on as we have been. We'll have to try something else. I don't know if it will work, though."

Kagami nodded. He was grateful for any chance of something to help, whether it was guaranteed or not.

When the five minutes were up, Riko blew her whistle again. "All right! We're changing gears! It's time for passing drills. First one: wall pass!" 

Kagami got it. It was back to basics. A return to the fundamentals of Kuroko's specialty. The kind of thing Kuroko could do in his sleep on an ordinary day.

Perhaps the focus on simplicity would break Kuroko out of his funk. Doing it with everyone else might remind him that he wasn't alone, that he didn't have to confront his problems on only his own strength. And maybe, just maybe, he would find it soothing.

A lot of "maybes" and "mights" in that plan. But Kagami thought that it had a good chance. "Thanks, Coach," he said quietly, before he moved with the rest of the players to line up facing the wall of the gym, each of them holding a ball.

Kagami took care to choose a spot some distance removed from Kuroko, just in case his presence would be a problem. They started the drill at two paces from the wall. Coach blew her whistle, and everyone threw their ball at the wall, making it bounce back forcefully. After catching it, they backed up two paces and did it again, then again, until the fifth pass, and then they started moving back toward the wall two paces at a time.

It was a rapid-fire drill. The sounds of basketballs hitting the wall and rebounding echoed through the gym, along with the squeaking of gym shoes and the shouts of the players as they got into the drill. Coach Riko yelled out now and then when she spotted someone using shoddy technique, forcing them to redo that step until they got it right. They all started out together, but as the drill continued, the players spread out more and more as they worked at their own pace and their own strength.

Kagami concentrated on his work, though he desperately wanted to look over and see how Kuroko was doing. The ball felt satisfying, slamming into his hands time after time. Coach didn't yell at him once. Kagami wasn't a passing genius like Kuroko, but he was no slouch. Couldn't be, if he wanted to be able to work with Kuroko. He finished his drill, twenty passes in total, in record time.

When he was done, Kagami stepped back and kept an eye on the others while they finished up. Everyone looked pretty good, even the other first-years who could be called the weakest of Seirin. They were all throwing the ball with determination and catching it with proper technique, stepping to meet it with both hands...

Kagami blinked. Everyone was doing well...except Kuroko. He was faltering with every throw and almost fumbling every catch. He...he was shaking. Uncontrollably. It was painful to watch. Kagami grit his teeth and tried to look away, but he couldn't. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, his fingernails digging into his sweaty palms.

Kuroko was falling apart before his eyes, and he couldn't look away. 

Many of the others had already finished the drill. Kiyoshi stood near Kagami, trying to encourage him. "You can do it, Kuroko. Just take a breath, relax. You know this. It's natural for you. You can do it." His voice was calm and gentle, and he meant it kindly. But Kuroko only got more tense with every well-meant word.

Riko had stopped blowing her whistle and yelling instructions. The last player but Kuroko finished his drill, then stood staring in astonishment at Kuroko. Everyone was staring now, everyone was watching him shake and fumble and struggle. Kuroko was wheezing for breath, every pant sounding more frantic than the last, and his eyes were wide and wild. Sweat poured down his face.

Kagami wanted to yell at everyone to stop looking. To get out, leave the gym, let Kuroko alone. The many eyes on him, shocked and staring and dismayed, could only be making this worse for Kuroko. But they all stood there, watching, frozen. Including Kagami.

And Kuroko just kept falling apart. Kagami could almost see the pieces breaking off, dropping to the floor. He couldn't pass. He couldn't handle the basketball. It was disturbing to watch.

"Kuroko." Riko's voice was quiet. She moved through the group and stood in front of him, placing her hands over his on the basketball as he lifted it for another throw. Kuroko halted, staring at her, heaving for breath. "Kuroko. Do you need to take a break for a little while?"

"No." It was a faint whisper, desperate, pleading. "I can play."

Riko tugged gently on the ball, pulling it out of his grip. Kuroko's fingers curled together in the absence of anything to hold on to. "I think you need to sit out for a while, Kuroko. Just until you get your bearings, all right? You look like you're going to be sick. Just take a break until you feel better."

Coach's voice was sad. Kagami knew that it was because her plan had backfired, but it must have sounded different to Kuroko. Devastation swept over his face, overwhelming his usual calm. "I...okay..." he choked out, barely audible. "I'll sit out..."

He turned away and began moving silently, shakily toward the wall. Most of the others averted their eyes at last, aware that this was something private and they shouldn't watch. Kagami started to follow him, hoping he'd be able to talk to him, maybe try to mitigate the damage.

Then Kiyoshi moved up alongside Kuroko, saying words meant to comfort and encourage. He reached out one big, strong hand. Kagami saw what was coming and choked on a warning. _No...don't!_

It was too late. Kiyoshi patted Kuroko's back. It was a hearty gesture, and he meant well, of course he did, Kiyoshi always meant well. But Kagami flashed to the image of Kuroko's bared back, burned into his mind from just this morning. Covered with welts, just...layered with them. New ones and old ones, some of them looking like they'd been inflicted just the other day. Kuroko's back was _raw._ And Kiyoshi struck it hard enough to make Kuroko stumble forward a step.

Kuroko flinched. A tiny, cut-off cry burst from his lips, and he fell forward on one knee, catching himself with his hands on the floor to keep from falling the rest of the way. Kiyoshi went utterly, utterly still, his hands still outstretched, his eyes widening in horror as he looked down at his small teammate. "...Kuroko?"

"Back off!" Kagami barked. Of course he was ignoring his own instruction, rushing over to kneel at Kuroko's side. "...Please," he added belatedly, remembering that he was talking to a senpai.

Kiyoshi didn't look offended. He looked terrified and worried, but not offended. Kagami only spared him a glance before he focused on Kuroko, though.

Kuroko's head was down, his sweaty hair hanging around his face in messy strings. His back formed a tight bow of distress. His face screwed up in an ugly grimace of grief and pain, his eyes squeezed shut. Tears and sweat dripped to the floor and wet the backs of his hands, curled into fists against the planking.

"Kuroko..." Kagami put an arm around him, carefully, carefully. Kuroko flinched again at the contact, then relaxed, just a little. At least he had the wherewithal to recognize Kagami and accept his touch.

"Kagami-kun..." The name was choked and breathy, barely above a whisper. The tears fell faster. "Kagami-kun... He took it away..."

Kagami didn't need to ask who "he" was. He was pretty sure he knew what "it" was, too. "Can you stand?"

Kuroko nodded. It was shaky, but it seemed genuine. Kagami pulled Kuroko's arm around his neck, firmed his grip, and got them both to their feet. Standing, Kuroko slumped into Kagami's side, his head still down as he tried to hide his tears, his weakness, his loss of control. Kagami clenched his jaw and held him up. 

Everyone was staring at them. Kuroko ignored their worried eyes, their distressed expressions. It wasn't their business, not until Kuroko allowed it to be. He held Kuroko to his side and started walking. Their teammates parted to let them through.

Outside the gym door, in the empty school hallway that was never used this time of day, Kagami slid down against the wall, Kuroko with him. Then he wrapped him in his arms and let him cry. Kuroko curled up into Kagami's chest and just sort of let go.

At first it was silent, those strange, still tears of last night that had so disconcerted Kagami. He'd never seen anyone cry like that before, and it had disturbed him down to his bones. The expression on Kuroko's face had made it seem like he should have been bawling full-out, loud and messy and distraught, and yet he'd kept almost everything inside.

This time, though, it didn't last. Kuroko held out for a while, just leaking tears in a slow, steady stream. He let Kagami hold him, even curled his hand in the front of Kagami's shirt, but didn't otherwise respond.

After a minute or two, a small sob escaped Kuroko's lips. He curled up tighter and pushed his face into Kagami's chest, his body trembling with the effort to keep it all inside like he had before. But then another sob escaped, and another, and another.

"Kuroko," Kagami murmured, his throat tight with pain. "It's okay. I don't mind."

The tension released from Kuroko's body in a rush. He relaxed into Kagami's hold, going boneless against him. And he cried and cried and cried.

"He took it away," he told Kagami between loud, wet, messy sobs. "It was the one thing I told him he couldn't have from me, and he still took it. _He took my basketball."_

All Kagami could do was hold him tighter. "We'll get it back," he said when he thought Kuroko could hear him. "We'll get it back, we'll get it back for you."

Kuroko just shook his head and cried.


	10. Chapter 10

When the storm passed, Kuroko was exhausted. He remained where he was, curled up into Kagami's side with his knees pulled up against his body and his head on Kagami's shoulder. The material of Kagami's t-shirt, still clutched between his fingers, felt damp. Everything felt damp. His head was heavy and felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton, everything muffled and a little distant, and his entire body ached. His eyes ached, his throat ached, and his nose might have still been running, leaking fluid all over.

And Kagami just kept holding him. He was careful, so careful, one arm wrapped around Kuroko's shoulders where the welts were the least concentrated, the other cradling Kuroko's head, fingers buried in his hair. He had to be uncomfortable from sitting on the hard hallway floor for so long, had to be cramped from holding the same position, had to be disgusted by the tears and snot that soaked him from Kuroko's crying fit. And yet he sat there, reliable as a mountain, revealing none of this.

Kuroko wanted to apologize for being so troublesome. He had a feeling, though, that Kagami wouldn't accept it. He was being very stubborn, lately. That didn't stop Kuroko from feeling guilty, but it did stop him from saying anything about it.

After a minute or so had passed with no more tears, no more sobs, Kagami cautiously bent his head down so he could look in Kuroko's face. "Feeling better?" he asked. His face was so concerned, so kind, that a lump rose in Kuroko's throat.

He wanted to nod. He wanted to tell Kagami that everything was fixed now, that this storm of emotions had somehow swept everything away and left a clean slate, a refreshed spirit. It wasn't true. Kuroko's heart was still heavy with loss and despair, with all that he'd done and all that he'd failed to do.

But it was true that he had needed this outburst, loud, messy, disgusting, sustained, and he was grateful that Kagami had allowed it. "A little," he croaked, his throat rough and dry.

Kagami nodded and looked forward again. His fingers pushed deeper into Kuroko's sweaty, matted hair, cupping the back of his head. "I meant what I said." His voice was suddenly fierce. "We're going to get it back for you."

Kuroko appreciated the sentiment. But he didn't know if he believed it was possible. There was something broken in him now. He could feel it, deep down inside. And somehow, it had taken away his basketball. It felt terrible. It felt irreparable. It felt like everything he'd worked for, everything he'd fought for over years and years of struggle and pain and setback and rejection and late, eventual, hard-won success... It felt like it had all been ripped from his fingers, and it was never coming back.

Just contemplating it made him want to start crying again.

"Kuroko?" Kagami asked. "Did you hear me?"

"I...yes."

"Do you believe me?"

Kuroko wanted to say yes. He said nothing. After a moment, he curled up tighter and pressed his face into the front of Kagami's shoulder again so he wouldn't have to answer.

Kagami sighed and bumped his head back against the wall. "Yeah, I didn't expect it to be that easy. Don't worry. I'll prove it to you."

A foot scuffed on the floor. "Kagami? Kuroko?" Coach Riko's voice.

They looked up, Kagami sharply, Kuroko sluggishly. Riko wasn't alone. Kiyoshi and Hyuuga both stood at her shoulders, looking tall and awkward and very uncomfortable. "Is it all right if we talk with you?" Riko asked.

Kagami looked at Kuroko. Kuroko blinked and managed a nod, weary and slow. They didn't really need his permission, but if they asked for it, he would give it.

Neither he nor Kagami moved at all from their positions. Kuroko was too tired, too overwhelmed to be embarrassed at being seen like this. And Kagami had no shame, as usual.

Riko's shoulders slumped, and the three of them stepped forward and knelt down in front of Kagami and Kuroko, forming a small semi-circle. They all still looked awkward and uncomfortable, especially Captain Hyuuga, but they were determined, too. Kuroko did not understand what was going on.

"Everyone else has gone home for the day," Riko said. "So we can talk freely. Whatever we say in this circle will stay between the five of us. We swear that by all we hold holy." She looked at Kiyoshi, then Hyuuga, and they both nodded in turn, grim and firm. 

Riko sighed and looked back to Kuroko. Her face was still sad, and Kuroko squirmed again with that oppressive sense of guilt. He was making everything so difficult for everyone. "First, though, we need to apologize to you, Kuroko."

Kuroko held very still. "Wh...what?"

"All three of us hurt you today. So we came to apologize. We're very sorry. Please forgive us."

"I don't...understand."

The three of them looked at each other again. Then Kiyoshi and Riko both focused on Hyuuga. He looked scandalized for a moment, then sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked at Kuroko. "I shouldn't have yelled at you," he said. His voice was entirely contrite, not a hint of his occasional sarcasm. "A captain is supposed to help his teammates, not hurt them, and I hurt you. Please forgive me." 

Hyuuga bowed deeply where he knelt on the floor, bracing his hands against the tile for a moment. Then he straightened and looked at Riko, raising his eyebrows.

Riko nodded and looked to Kuroko. "I shouldn't have pushed you when you were vulnerable, and when I saw that my plan wasn't working, I should have stopped it earlier. A coach is supposed to lead and guide their team members, and my actions caused you to break down, instead. Please forgive me." She bowed, too.

Kiyoshi needed no prompting. His eyes never wavered from Kuroko. He offered a sad, sad smile. "I shouldn't have struck you. It doesn't matter that I only meant to help—I caused you immense pain. That is not the way it should be. Please forgive me." He bowed.

Kuroko stared at the three of them in dull astonishment. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. "None of you did anything wrong. At all. There's nothing to forgive."

Riko crossed her arms over her chest. "It's as Kiyoshi said. It doesn't matter that our intentions were good. We hurt you, and we regret it deeply. We won't be satisfied until you forgive us."

"It's all right if you need time," Kiyoshi said gently.

"I don't need time." Kuroko still didn't understand this, but if they wanted his forgiveness, they had it. "I forgive you. Please stop being sad."

Kiyoshi slumped in relief, and Riko and Hyuuga relaxed as well, glancing at each other almost triumphantly. Kiyoshi was still watching Kuroko. "There's a problem with that," he said quietly.

Kuroko could not muster the energy to ask what it was. He just blinked.

"We're sad because you are wounded, Kuroko. We won't be able to stop being sad until you are mended."

Riko nodded. "We know that something difficult and serious is happening to you. And if you are willing to share your troubles with us, we would very much like to help you in any way we can."

Kuroko went very, very still. Kagami's arms tightened around him. 

Hyuuga grimaced. "You don't have to tell us everything. But if we just know a little, maybe at least it will help us avoid hurting you in the future."

Kiyoshi reached out one big hand, open and conciliatory. His face was apologetic. "I know...your back is hurt. I felt something of the wounds when I touched you. I apologize, but I did tell Junpei and Riko about it. We know that part of it."

He glanced at Riko. She nodded. "And I told these two idiots that Kagami suspected you were being bullied. I'm sorry if you didn't want anyone else to know."

"I didn't tell anyone anything," Hyuuga said, straightening up with his arms crossed over his chest. "So don't you look at me with those big, sad eyes. It wasn't me."

"That's because you didn't know anything," Kiyoshi said, smiling beatifically. "Fearless captain."

"Shut up!" Hyuuga reached across Riko to punch Kiyoshi in the arm. She ducked to let him do it.

Kagami chuckled, and the sound vibrated his chest against Kuroko's head. Kuroko wanted to smile, but couldn't yet. He had relaxed, though. The banter of his senpai reminded him that some things didn't change. Kiyoshi still got on Hyuuga's nerves without even trying. Riko still put up with them both despite her loud, exaggerated sighs. The world still turned. 

Then Kiyoshi looked back to Kuroko, and his face turned sad again. "Besides those two things, we all heard what you said, Kuroko." His voice was just above a whisper. "'He took it away.' So...we know someone has been hurting you. And we know that Kagami is doing everything he can to help. But if you can let us in, just a little, we'd like to help you too."

"Please tell us," Riko said. "As much you can. Even just a hint. We only want to help."

Hyuuga nodded. His lips were pressed firmly together, as if to hold back words that he knew wouldn't be useful, and his eyes were sharp behind his glasses.

Kuroko leaned more heavily into Kagami's shoulder. At this point, he didn't mind them knowing. It didn't feel like much of a secret anymore, since he'd fallen to pieces in the middle of the gym in front of everybody, and he trusted these three senpai as much as he trusted anyone in the world. But he didn't know if he could say it himself.

"Kagami-kun..."

Kagami tilted his head. "You want me to tell them?"

Kuroko nodded.

Kagami drew a breath. His shoulders stiffened, and every muscle went tight for a moment. Kuroko glanced up at him in alarm. Was this difficult for Kagami to say, too? Why?

Kagami gave a full body shiver, then opened his mouth. "It's not a bully. It's Kuroko's father."

The others stopped breathing. 

Riko let out a breath and slumped back on her heels as if she couldn't hold herself up anymore. Kiyoshi's eyes filled with tears. Hyuuga's face slowly turned very, very red. Then he very calmly stood up, walked away, and kicked the wall. 

_"Damn it!"_

The shout echoed in the empty hall, ringing from one end to the other. Kuroko startled helplessly at the sudden noise, his heart jumping in his chest, but he settled quickly. Hyuuga stared at the wall, his shoulders heaving, his hands clenched into fists. Then he very visibly forced himself to be calm again, and he turned back, returned to the circle, and sat down.

"Where does he live?" Hyuuga asked through gritted teeth.

The others stared at him.

"You can't go punch Kuroko's father," Kagami said.

"Why not?" 

"Because if anyone's going to punch him, I get first dibs."

Hyuuga ground his teeth. "Idiot kouhai, respect your captain! If there are any privileges at _all_ that come with this position, and not just a lot of trouble and pain, I should at least get to punch the guy who's been hurting Kuroko. Dibs don't count!"

Kagami had to protest at that. "Oi, this has nothing to do with basketball! You being captain doesn't apply to this."

"Me being captain applies to _everything."_

"Bastard..."

"Boys!" Riko thundered, and everyone shut up and looked at her, startled into silence. "You're making Kuroko uncomfortable."

Hyuuga and Kagami settled back again, though not without some grumbling. Kagami reaffirmed his grip on Kuroko, which had loosened during the argument. "Sorry, Kuroko," he said.

"Sorry, Kuroko," Hyuuga echoed, less graciously.

Riko glared at them both. "And no one is going to punch Kuroko's father. We all know that Kuroko doesn't like violence. He wouldn't appreciate it." She looked at Kuroko. "Right?"

Kuroko nodded. His entire chest felt like a big mass of confused, churning emotions. He didn't want anyone to get punched, not even his father. He still loved his father, even though he'd hurt Kuroko so badly and for so long. Even though he'd taken away his basketball somehow. 

But he was still grateful to know that there were people out there who _wanted_ to punch his father for him. It meant more than he could say to have these friends, these teammates, these brothers fighting over who would get to avenge him. It made him feel weak and helpless and very, very small, but it also felt good and comforting.

They cared about him. They really, really cared.

Kagami just grunted in response to Riko's admonishment. "I know. I know Kuroko doesn't like violence. That's why I didn't punch the bastard when I had the chance."

They all fell quiet again. 

Kiyoshi looked at Kuroko. "How can we help? We'll do anything we can."

Kuroko shook his head and looked away. He had no idea. "Kagami-kun is taking good care of me," he murmured. 

The others looked at Kagami for confirmation. He nodded. "I got him out of there. He's staying with me now. We're gonna figure it out."

Riko opened her mouth, then thought better and closed it again. Her expression was troubled, but she must have been able to see how Kuroko had shut down already, unwilling to discuss it any further. "...All right," she said reluctantly. "If you think of anything we can do to help, let us know right away."

"Now, you should go home," Kiyoshi said, watching Kuroko carefully. "Kuroko needs a bath. And some rest."

Kagami nodded. "I know. When Kuroko's ready to move, we'll go."

Hyuuga popped to his feet. "I'll get you guys some water. Crying is thirsty work."

Kiyoshi stood, too. "I'll fetch your things. Koganei and Mitobe already packed them up for you."

Riko knelt there for a little longer, watching them sadly. "Are you really going to be okay?" she asked. "Is there nothing I can do at all?"

Kagami started to shake his head, then hesitated. "You could go grocery shopping for us."

Riko blinked. "Groceries?"

"Yeah. Kuroko wants natto for tomorrow morning." Kagami nudged Kuroko's shoulder. "Right, Kuroko? What else do you want?"

Riko squinted her eyes at them. Then she slumped, sighed, and magically produced a clipboard from somewhere. She flipped to a back page and held her pen poised. "Okay. Give me your list."

They wouldn't leave Kuroko alone until he listed at least five foods that he wanted that Kagami didn't already have. It was rather a strange end to the afternoon. In the end, Riko, Hyuuga, and Kiyoshi left together, she shoving them from behind and declaring that they were all going grocery shopping together, because they said they would help and that's what they were going to do. Kagami watched them go with a grin, and Kuroko couldn't help smiling, too.

They had good senpai, they really did.


	11. Chapter 11

Kuroko barely made it back home. By the time they were in the elevator to Kagami's floor, he was a breath away from passing out. Kagami grabbed him and pulled his arm over his shoulders, just as he had done at the end of that long, hard game what seemed years ago now. Kuroko slumped against his side, his eyes falling almost shut. He moved his feet when the elevator doors opened, but Kagami carried most of his weight.

Once they were inside the apartment, Kagami dropped their schoolbags from his shoulder and pulled off his jacket and shoes, then Kuroko's, letting Kuroko lean against the wall while he worked. Then he stood straight and pulled Kuroko's arm over his shoulder again to lead him further into the apartment. "Do you want food first, or a bath?"

"Sleep," Kuroko murmured, almost there already.

"Yeah, you can do that, too, but you need to get clean and eat, first." Kagami was firm on this point. If he was going to take care of Kuroko, he would do it right. "So which is it: bath or food?" Hopefully offering Kuroko at least a little choice would keep him from feeling too out of control.

"Not hungry. Don't cook for me."

"You have to eat. I promise you'll like it."

Kuroko sighed deeply, but gave in. "Bath first."

"All right." 

This worked better, anyway. Kagami could cook while Kuroko was getting clean. He pulled the sleep-drunk Kuroko down the hall to the bath and set him down on the edge of the tub while he ran the water. "Do you need help getting undressed?"

"No." Kuroko was already struggling with his shirt. After watching for a couple of seconds, Kagami reached out and tugged the fabric away from his back, just to make sure it wouldn't scrape his welts as he pulled it off. Free of the shirt, Kuroko bent almost double to deal with his socks. He managed those easily enough, and Kagami felt a little better about leaving him alone in the bath.

He stood and moved toward the door, still keeping a wary eye on Kuroko. "Will you be all right from here?"

Kuroko nodded and waved his fingers toward the door. "Go cook."

Kagami paused in the doorway. "Call if you need help with anything."

"Okay."

He made it a step or two down the hallway, then turned back and stuck his head in the doorway again. "Don't fall asleep in the bath. If you think you're about to, yell and I'll come help you get out."

"Okay." Kuroko had managed to peel off his trousers, leaving him in only his boxers. He looked vaguely triumphant over the accomplishment.

His bruises didn't look any better than last night. Kagami stared for a second longer, then finally forced himself to leave, closing the door quietly behind him. 

Kuroko did not drown in the bath. About fifteen minutes later, a quick dinner was set out, ready to eat, and Kagami was ready to go back and check on him. Before he made of it out of the kitchen, Kuroko emerged from the hallway. He was wearing Kagami's dad's terrycloth robe. It was acres too big for him, wrapped almost twice around his body and staying in place only thanks to the belt. Kuroko looked content, though, so Kagami didn't comment on it.

"I made ramen bowls with ham," he said, gesturing toward the table in the main room. 

Kuroko's eyes lit up, just a spark, but it was still good to see. "Like in Ponyo?"

"That kids' movie?"

Kuroko nodded serenely, already making his way to the food. 

Kagami wrinkled his nose and followed after him. "I didn't know they had ramen in that movie." 

Kuroko was already sitting at the table, snapping his chopsticks open. Kagami sat opposite him and tugged his bowl closer to himself. Kuroko gave him a disappointed look. "You've never seen Ponyo?"

Kagami shook his head. They both folded their hands briefly over the food and declared their thanks, then dug in. Kuroko ate a few bites quickly, then slowed down to a crawl, as if he'd remembered suddenly that he didn't actually want to eat. He'd been charmed by the reminder of the movie, apparently, but now his weariness was overwhelming him again.

Kuroko blinked sadly at his bowl, his chopsticks hovering in the air, then looked to Kagami again. His eyes were enormous and liquid and blue. "I'm very sorry to hear that you've never seen Ponyo, Kagami-kun."

Kagami couldn't believe this was still going. He narrowed his eyes at Kuroko, busy shoveling noodles and ham into his mouth. "It's just a kids' movie," he mumbled. 

Kuroko shook his head in gentle horror. "But it's Studio Ghibli. You should never skip a Studio Ghibli film."

"Sorry. I didn't know it was that important."

"It is." 

Kagami quirked a half-smile at the look at Kuroko’s face, fond and distant. A sleepy Kuroko was rather amusing, it turned out. His guard was slipping, letting out many more emotions and thoughts than usual. 

Of course, the events of the day might also have contributed to that. Kuroko's breakdown in the gym had been thorough and devastating. It had been quite some time before he was able to gather himself, to pull together enough of his resources so that he could stand and move and face the world again, even for the trip home. 

Kuroko's mask had cracked. It was disconcerting to see, for certain, but... It might also be an opportunity.

"Then you'll have to show me later," Kagami said. "We'll get all the Studio Ghibli films and watch them, and you can point out the important parts. Like ramen bowls with ham."

Kuroko smiled. It was small and sleepy and confused, but it was real. "We'll start with Ponyo, then."

"Sure." Kagami reached over and nudged Kuroko's bowl. "Now eat."

Kuroko dug in again, not as if he was hungry but as if he was too tired to resist Kagami's orders anymore. At least he ate some noodles and most of the ham and vegetables. Then he just sipped the broth, which was fine with Kagami. It was nourishing, and Kuroko was starting to develop a flush in his cheeks, as if he was coming down with a fever.

Well, it wouldn't be surprising. Kuroko's body and mind had been under a huge amount of stress lately. Getting sick in that situation would only be natural. Kagami would keep an eye on him. 

Eventually, Kuroko decided that he'd eaten enough. He set the bowl down with a final-sounding clink and looked at Kagami, his hands folded neatly in his lap. "May I please go to sleep now, Kagami-kun?"

Kagami's heart gave a tender little ache. Kuroko looked like a little kid like this, half-asleep and drowning in an adult's robe, his eyes large and his posture deliberately straight. It was hard to refuse him anything in this state. But if Kagami didn't take advantage of this opportunity now, he didn't know when it would come again.

"Soon, okay? There's something that I think we should talk about first."

Kuroko blinked, long and slow. Then he settled back on his heels and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Kagami drew a deep breath and braced himself. "We need to talk about what happened to you. And we need to talk about going to the police."

Kuroko froze. His eyes widened and widened. He didn't look sleepy anymore. "Kagami-kun..." His voice was choked. He looked...betrayed.

Kagami hated this. But someone had to be the bad guy, here. "I know you don't want to talk about it. I know your dad taught you to be silent, to be ashamed, to keep this a secret. But, Kuroko, that man _needs_ to go to jail."

Kuroko's breath jerked to a stop. The flush on his cheeks looked even worse against his skin, suddenly milky pale. All of the contentment and pleasure of the bath and the meal had vanished as if they'd never been.

"Kagami-kun..." The words were a strangled whisper. "Please don't ask this of me. I can't...I can't do that to him."

Kagami wanted to tear out his hair. He had known that this would be hard, but this was much, much worse than he'd expected. "Kuroko..." He could hear the helplessness in his voice, too, the confusion and lack of direction. He was so far out of his depth here that he didn't even know where the surface was supposed to be.

"Kuroko." Kagami stood up and moved around the table so he could kneel by Kuroko's side. Kuroko dizzily turned to face him, falling onto his butt on the floor when he couldn't keep his balance. Kagami grabbed his shoulders, partly to hold him up and partly because he didn't know what else to do. "Kuroko, that man was _beating_ you."

Kuroko watched him warily, though he made no move to escape Kagami's grip. "He had his reasons."

"They couldn't have been good ones. The way he... The way he..." Kagami choked on the words, himself. "Damn it, Kuroko, your back is _chewed up._ How many times? How many...how many nights did he take a strap to you, huh? How could he have possibly justified that to himself, and to you? And how many times did he punch you in the stomach as hard as he could for no reason at all, just because you were there and he was pissed? Damn it, Kuroko, you can't defend this man!"

"I'm not defending him." But Kuroko's gaze slipped away, unable to hold Kagami's stare. "I know...I know what he did was wrong. But... My father isn't well, Kagami-kun."

"That's not an excuse for what he did to you!"

"I'm not excusing him. I'm just saying..."

"You're trying to give a reason for something that is not reasonable, Kuroko. You're trying to convince me that he doesn't deserve to be punished for what he did, and that's a lie. It's a _lie."_

Kagami felt the heat rising in his cheeks, too, though this was not fever. He didn't know how to get through to Kuroko on this; he didn't know what to say. All he could do was blurt the truth as he saw it as roughly and as bluntly as he had to. Kuroko would have been better off with carefully chosen words, with gentle persuasion, but those were not tools Kagami had at his disposal.

Kuroko was still not meeting his eyes. He leaned back as far as Kagami's grip would allow, dead weight in Kagami's hands. If Kagami let go of his shoulders, he would fall heavily onto his back, and it would hurt him badly. So Kagami held on, even though he knew he was holding too tight, even though he could see the wince crossing Kuroko's face as his fingers dug in, and Kagami hated that, he _hated_ it. He never _ever_ wanted to cause Kuroko pain, and that was what he was doing. But he couldn't stop.

"I heard the way he spoke to you, remember?" Kagami's voice was rising, now, frantic and inflamed. "I heard the names he called you, the way he called me an 'outsider.' He taught you that you deserved what he did to you, and he taught you that no one could help. But that's not true. None of it is true. It was all _lies._ Please, please, Kuroko, believe me. I'm telling you the truth. He never did."

Kuroko's face was turned away in an effort to escape. His eyes squeezed shut and his face screwed up in a grimace. "You don't... You don't...understand...."

Kagami huffed out a breath. Finally, they were getting somewhere. "I know that. I know I don't understand. That's why I'm asking you to _tell_ me. Make me understand what's going on, what's going through your head. Tell me what happened to you, and then we can move on from there. Please, Kuroko. Help me understand you."

Kuroko slumped. His head bowed down almost to his chest. And tears. There were more tears. It was almost unbelievable. They'd both thought that Kuroko must have exhausted all of his tears in that dreadful storm of a few hours ago.

"...All right," Kuroko said, almost inaudible. "I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything. Then you can decide...what you think is correct."

Kagami sat back, still holding his shoulders, though his grip was gentler now. He was almost dizzy with...something. It didn't feel like triumph, even though he'd won. 

"But please..." Kuroko raised his head, slow and exhausted, to look at Kagami with his huge, childlike eyes, still streaming tears. "Please... Not tonight. I'm... I'm tired, Kagami-kun. I'm so tired."

"I know. I know." The words were barely above a whisper. Kagami pulled Kuroko forward by his shoulders and into another hug, this one brief and light, before pushing him back so he could look at him again. "Let me treat your back and give you more pain pills, all right? Then you can sleep. And we'll...we'll talk tomorrow."

Kuroko nodded, a slow bob of the head as if he just quit holding it up anymore, then lifted it again with all of his remaining strength. Kagami carefully hauled him to his feet and got him to the spare room, where he laid him out on the bed, face-down. He pulled back the robe, baring him to the waist. The welts were red and raw and awful, and he itched to do what he could to soothe them.

"I'll be right back with the gel and the medicine. Don't go anywhere."

Kuroko laughed. It was faint and bitter and small, but it was a laugh. Kagami halted in his tracks, his heart thumping and his eyes burning in his skull. He had wanted to hear Kuroko laugh, but not like this.

Kuroko turned his head and looked at Kagami, dragging his eyelids open by sheer force of will. His voice was a wisp carried on no more than a breath of air. "Go anywhere? Of course not. Did you know, Kagami-kun? Did you know why I refused your invitation to come home with you so many times?"

Kagami shook his head. His throat was dry, and his words had fled.

Kuroko smiled, but this did not seem bitter. It was small and hurt and weary, so weary, but it was a genuine smile. "It was because I knew... If I ever came here... I wouldn't want to leave. It would be...too near, and yet too far. Your kindness and generosity, your friendship... They were all I held on to in the darkest times, when my father was whipping me, when I wanted to die... And yet I was afraid...afraid to grab hold with both hands. And so I couldn't come. Because it was too much. And too little."

The burning in Kagami's eyes gave way to wetness, and then he was crying, too. "I...didn't know..." he choked out.

"Now you do." Kuroko turned his head to hide his face in his pillow again. "Hurry back, please. I won't go anywhere, but I don't like being alone."

Kagami hurried.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reviewer at ff.n was worried about how dark this was gonna get, so I'll make some notes here. Yes, Kuroko is depressed. Of course he is. He just lost pretty much everything he had, including basketball as far as he can tell, and he feels like a failure. There's a lot of darkness left in this story. But there won't be any self-harm or attempted suicide. Maybe some discussion of it, but that's it. Kuroko felt like he wanted to die in the worst times, but he never really wanted to end his own life. He just wanted it to stop. It's how I've felt in the past, in my darkest times, so that's where it's coming from.
> 
> There's a lot of light coming very soon, though. In this chapter: Literal fluff. SO much of it. You will die of fluff.
> 
> Thank you for reading and reviewing and commenting and everything else! It means the world to me.

"Kuroko, wake up."

Kagami's voice was quiet, but something like excitement surged underneath. Kuroko dragged his eyes open and found Kagami kneeling by the bed, looking into his face. He grinned, broad and happy and eager, when he saw Kuroko's eyes. "Good morning, Kuroko!"

"Good morning, Kagami-kun." Kuroko glanced around the room behind Kagami, trying to understand what was going on. The light was advanced, bathing the room in golden beams—how long had he slept in? Kuroko still felt exhausted, a deep and heavy weariness dragging at his bones, but that was normal now.

Nothing presented itself as an explanation for Kagami's eager smile. Kuroko returned his attention to Kagami's face. "Did you wake me because I slept too long?"

Kagami shook his head. "You can sleep as much as you want." The smile fell away for a moment as he studied Kuroko closely. "In fact, you still look feverish. You should go back to sleep as soon as possible." But the smile tugged at his mouth again, impossible to suppress. "No, I woke you up because I need your pillow and blankets. For the fort."

Kuroko blinked. Words were coming out of Kagami's mouth, but they had ceased to make sense. "...What."

"Get up and I'll show you." Kagami straightened from his position and held out his hand.

Kuroko stared up at him for a moment, still befuddled and uncertain. Kagami seemed to glow in the morning sunlight with cheer and good health. He was a beacon, and he was reaching toward Kuroko as if he meant to take him to there, to a place where even a shadow could bathe in the sun.

Kuroko could not continue to lie abed with that invitation open to him. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, suppressing a groan when the movement tugged at his sore muscles, his abraded back. A t-shirt hung loosely from his shoulders—one of Kagami's, Kuroko was pretty sure. He had a fuzzy memory of Kagami draping him in this after he'd finished treating his back, but it felt distant and dream-like. He was grateful for it now, in any case—the light fabric rested gently on his back, and if he held very still he could almost forget how badly he ached.

Kuroko took Kagami's hand, and Kagami hauled him to his feet. Then he nudged Kuroko aside and turned to plunder the bedding. Kuroko watched while Kagami gathered all of the blankets into a messy pile. Before he picked them up, though, he turned and set the pillow carefully in Kuroko's hands. "You can carry that."

Kuroko nodded. Kagami scooped up the blankets and led the way out the door. He was almost trotting, he was so eager to show Kuroko what he'd been up to. Kuroko followed at his heels, down the hallway to the main room, and there he halted, blinking.

Kagami dumped the blankets from Kuroko's bed next to his creation. Then he stood still with his hands on his hips, beaming proudly as he looked from Kuroko to the...whatever it was...in the middle of the room. He was clearly expecting to be praised. It reminded Kuroko of Nigou after he'd performed a trick. And once again, Kuroko ignored the familiar pang in his heart at the thought of his missing dog.

Kuroko didn't understand what this trick even was. Kagami had gathered all of the bedding and pillows in the house, as well as a significant portion of the furniture. It was all piled up together, western-style chairs forming a circle, facing outward, with blankets stretched over the top and textbooks on the seats holding the blankets down. More blankets were draped over the bottoms of the chairs, making the interior of the pile into a dark, cave-like space. The floor of the space was covered with pillows.

"It's great, isn't it?" Kagami asked, tired of waiting for Kuroko to comment.

Kuroko blinked at him. "Yes, but... What is it?"

"It's a blanket fort. Obviously." Kagami bent down to scoop up the blankets he'd dropped. He pushed them into the opening of the "fort," making the floor even more bunched-up and lumpy. There was no attempt at organization or neatness.

Kuroko had no idea what to say to that. "Ah. I see."

"Give me that." Kagami reached out his long arms and plucked the pillow from Kuroko's hands, then crawled into the blanket fort and put it with the rest. Then he plopped down in the middle of the pile and grinned out at Kuroko. "There. All set."

 _What_ was all set? Kuroko would never call himself brilliant, but he was truly mystified by his inability to grasp what was happening here.

Kagami seemed oblivious to Kuroko's discomfort. He patted the pillows next to him with a look of supreme satisfaction. "C'mon. Try it out."

Kuroko hesitated.

Kagami rolled his eyes. "Do you need a formal invitation?" He scooted to the side to make more room for Kuroko, then spread his arms magnanimously. "Please come in, Kuroko Tetsuya. You are welcome in my home. Also in my blanket fort. Mi casa es su casa."

Kuroko was pretty sure the last part wasn't even English. He eyed Kagami askance, but finally got down and crawled into the fort next to him. Kagami leaned over to make room as Kuroko awkwardly backed up and sat next to him. He lost his balance and all but fell the last few centimeters, but there was no jarring stop, no thud as he hit the floor. It felt like sinking into a giant pile of fluff.

Once he was inside, properly situated in the mess of pillows and blankets, something changed. Kuroko felt a hardness loosen between his shoulder blades, along his neck, some ache of tension that he hadn't known was there. The space was small but not cramped, the light dim and filtered as it shone through gaps and thin places in the cloth roof and walls. Kagami was warm at his side, breathing calm and steady.

It was...peaceful.

Kuroko looked at Kagami, blinking long and slow. "Why?"

Kagami shrugged, looking around at his accomplishment with that same sparkle of satisfied glee. "I don't know. I woke up and I wanted to make a blanket fort. So I did. There was no reason not to."

"And what...what exactly is this?"

Kagami narrowed his eyes at him. "It's...a blanket fort," he said slowly, as if repeating the words would help the phrase make more sense. "It's a fort made out of blankets. And pillows, obviously. And some furniture, in most cases. I used chairs."

Kuroko looked around, taking it in. "I see."

"Do kids in Japan not make blanket forts?" Kagami sounded uncertain all of a sudden.

Kuroko gave him a smile. "I don't know. I never did."

Kagami grunted thoughtfully and knocked his hand against the leg of a chair next to him. "I guess it's harder in a country that doesn't put much stock in chairs. And sofas. The futons made for a really good foundation, though." He pressed his hand down beside him as if in proof.

Kuroko felt himself settling in. His posture began to ease, and his hands rested at his sides. He didn't understand what impulse had driven Kagami to do this—and apparently Kagami didn't understand, either—but Kuroko was finding it quite pleasant, really.

"What now?" he asked. "What do children generally do in...blanket forts?"

"Whatever you want." Kagami started crawling toward the opening. "First we need to eat, though. You stay here—I'll bring breakfast to you."

Outside, he started to stand, then paused and crouched back down to look in at Kuroko again. "Do you want rice and natto, or do you want to have what I'm making for myself?"

Kuroko blinked. He hadn't expected to be given a choice. "What...what are you having?" he asked cautiously. He hoped it wouldn't be anything too weird.

Kagami grinned. "I'm making pancakes. Big, fluffy, American pancakes. Maybe with chocolate chips. I've been saving the chocolate chips, but this seems like a good time to use them." He paused, then nodded to himself. "Maybe I'll even break out the real maple syrup. I only have a tiny jar, though." He looked at Kuroko. "You want some?"

Kuroko considered. This sounded...not too weird. But rather sweet. More like a dessert than a breakfast. Kagami seemed excited though, and it made Kuroko want to share in that excitement. It made him want to understand Kagami and why he was so pleased by things like blanket forts and fluffy American pancakes.

He looked at Kagami and nodded. "Yes, please."

Kagami's grin got even bigger. "Great! You stay here and relax. I'll make food for us."

He bounced to his feet and trotted away, whistling. Kuroko sank back into the blankets and pillows on his side and closed his eyes. He was still so tired, and his face felt too warm—Kagami was right, he must be feverish. But it was really nice in here. He wanted to sleep, wanted to doze off in this warmth and this comfort, this nest that Kagami had made for him. But he also wanted to stay awake and listen to the noises of Kagami moving around in the kitchen and just...enjoy it.

It had been a long time since he'd just...enjoyed something. Besides basketball, of course, but now that was tainted, too...

Kuroko shivered and curled up into himself. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about the promise he'd made last night. He'd said that he would talk, that he would tell Kagami everything...

It was like picking at a scab or the edge of a bloody wound. Once he'd remembered it was there, Kuroko couldn't stop thinking about it. He rolled over on his stomach and pressed his face into the nearest pillow. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want...

He'd been so happy just a few minutes ago, or at least as close as Kuroko could get right now to feeling happy. He'd been comfortable; he'd been content. He'd been curious and alert and appreciating Kagami's strange quirks, his odd little ways of showing his kindness to Kuroko. Now all of that seemed lost in sadness. It was like he'd been buried in a mudslide, and now he couldn't move.

He didn't understand why it was happening now. It made sense when he was sad under his father's roof. But now he was free of that place. He was in Kagami's home. Kagami was being nothing but kind to him. Even last night, when he'd been trying so hard to get Kuroko to talk to him, had been meant kindly. So why was Kuroko sad now? Was he that ungrateful, that heartless?

He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve all of the kindness and attention that Kagami was lavishing on him. He should have tried to hide it better; he should have stayed away. All he could do now was bring Kagami down. He couldn't even play basketball...

A sudden pounding on the front door cut off Kuroko's thoughts. He sat up straight, his heart in his throat. Kagami's voice in the kitchen stopped mid-pop lyric. Who could it be? It couldn't be... No, Kuroko's father had no idea where his friends lived, Kuroko hadn't left any of that information lying around the apartment, and the school wouldn't give it out for confidentiality reasons, there was no way...

The pounding continued. Something _thunked_ in the kitchen, and Kagami's big feet stomped toward the door. "Shut up already, I'm coming, I'm coming..."

Kagami didn't sound nervous. He sounded irritated at the interruption, like he expected whatever was on the other side of the door to be something he didn't want to deal with. Kuroko moved toward the opening of the blanket fort, feeling choked and desperate. _No, don't do it, don't open the door..._

Kuroko was shaking. He put his feet on the floor and tried to stand up, tried to call out, but he could barely coordinate his limbs. Kagami was already at the door, already opening it, before Kuroko was completely clear of the fort.

"I'm here! Stop pounding, idiot!"

Kuroko halted, his feet spread on the floor as he fought to keep his balance. His head was swooping. Kagami sounded like he already knew who was going to be there, like he was expecting someone...

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." A familiar voice. Kuroko knew that voice, but it was so unexpected in this context that he couldn't place it at first. He'd never dreamed that this person would come here. "What was with that text message, huh? Your manners could use some work, Kagami."

"Whatever. It got you to come, didn't it? And you brought..."

"Yeah, of course I did."

Another sound piped up. The bark of a dog, small and excited and happy. Kuroko's breath caught in his throat and his body froze for a split second, unable to respond. Then he scrambled for the hallway, moving so quickly that he almost tripped over his own feet.

"Nigou!" Kuroko fell to his knees.

Aomine stood in the doorway, looking at him with raised eyebrows over Kagami's shoulder, who was half-turned to look at him. Nigou pulled frantically on the leash, and Aomine stumbled forward and lost his grip. Nigou plunged down the hall, barking fit to burst his little doggy lungs. Kuroko opened his arms.

Nigou crashed into his chest. Kuroko closed his arms around him, but couldn't hold him still. His lap was full of jumping, wiggling, barking dog, frantically trying to lick his face and his hands and his arms and his neck and every other scrap of bare skin.

"Nigou, Nigou, Nigou."

Kuroko bent his head and buried his face in Nigou's fur. Nigou went still, shaking all over as his tail wagged desperately back and forth. Kuroko didn't want to cry. He'd had enough of crying.

But somehow, tears leaked out anyway.


	13. Chapter 13

Kagami had known that Kuroko was going to be glad to see Nigou. He hadn't realized just how very, very glad he would be, though. After a couple of minutes passed and Kuroko was still kneeling there on the floor, still hugging Nigou with his knuckles turning white, Kagami started to shift uneasily. Aomine was giving him looks like he expected Kagami to explain what was going on. Kagami just shook his head and pressed his lips together. _Not your business, not your business. Go away, idiot. Can't you see you're intruding?_

At least Nigou was smart enough to be still and let Kuroko cling to him. He rested his chin on Kuroko's shoulder, occasionally taking a lick at his ear. Kuroko knelt there, holding him, his face hidden. Eventually Nigou gave a low, anxious whine, trembling all over, but he still made no attempt to escape.

"What the hell." Aomine stepped into the apartment and slammed the door behind him. Kagami tried to grab his arm, but Aomine slipped away, just like he did on the court. He didn't even take off his shoes, which was an astonishing breach of etiquette. He stalked all the way to Kuroko, bent forward like an animal on the prowl, and crouched down in front of him.

"The hell is this?" Aomine reached out to touch Kuroko's arm. Kuroko started at the touch but did not release his grip, nor did he raise his head. Aomine jerked his fingers away as if he'd been burned, and he turned his head to glare at Kagami. "The hell is this?" he demanded again. "He's shaking."

He looked back to Kuroko. Something dark and low lit in his eye, and his voice went quiet. "You're shaking, Tetsu. What the hell is going on?"

Kagami crossed his arms over his chest. "He missed his dog. What do you think is going on?"

Aomine snorted. "I know he missed his dog. He could have come and visited, though. I even offered to meet at a park somewhere. There was always some excuse. I thought it was taking too long, but this..." He shook his head. He had yet to look away from Kuroko. "Allergy filters, right? You said your dad had suddenly developed an allergy, and you needed to get filters installed, and then Nigou could come home. I knew it was taking too long."

Kagami said nothing. With Kuroko's confession of last night, he understood why Kuroko hadn't been able to visit, to see Nigou for only a little while. It would have been too little, and too much. Kuroko had been afraid that he wouldn't be able to let go, that he would put Nigou in danger with his selfishness or some such nonsense.

"Testu. Would you look at me?" Aomine's voice was low and growling. "I don't understand what's happening here, and it's pissing me off."

Kagami bristled. He took a step closer, his hands clenched into fists. "Oi, bastard! Don't force him! Since you don't know what's happening here, don't you think you should step lightly? Learn how to read a situation!"

Aomine stiffened. He'd reached out to touch Kuroko's arm again, but this time he refused to let go. He did not turn to look at Kagami. He remained focused on Kuroko. "If Tetsu wants me to go, I'll go. I'll leave without ever finding out what's going on here, why he's staying at your place all of sudden, why he looks like he's lost a bunch of weight. Why he's shaking while he clings to his dog. Why you're acting like a mama cat with a sick kitten. But I'm not going anywhere until Tetsu tells me to leave."

He firmed his jaw and lowered his head, trying to get a glimpse of Kuroko's face. "Tetsu? Do you want me to leave?"

His voice was almost...gentle. Kagami had never heard him sound like this before. Kuroko had told him stories about what a kind friend Aomine had been in middle school, how supportive he'd been of Kuroko long before anyone else believed in his potential. This was the first time Kagami really believed that any of those stories could be true. The Aomine he knew now was just...too removed from that sweet young kid. 

But Aomine stayed there, crouching by Kuroko and Nigou, as solid and patient and still as a boulder in a riverbed. He would not be moved. Not until Kuroko responded.

After a long moment, Kuroko raised his head. Aomine started a bit at the sight, at his puffy eyes, the tears tracking over his flushed cheeks and pale skin. He looked awful. He looked ill.

Kuroko's eyes were down. Slowly, slowly, he dragged them upward, until he was looking into Aomine's face. Aomine stared back at him, his mouth open in astonishment and dismay. 

"Tetsu..."

Kuroko tried for a smile. It was not a success. "You don't have to leave if you don't want to, Aomine-kun," he said softly. "I...I'd rather you didn't, actually."

"Then I won't." Aomine glared at Kagami, daring him to disagree.

Kagami slumped. There was no way he could kick Aomine out, now.

But...maybe this would be for the best. If Aomine could find it in himself to be kind and supportive again, even if just for one day... Kuroko needed all the support he could get. Kagami knew that.

Aomine was looking at Kuroko again. His body was still stiff, but his voice was careful. "Do you want to tell me what's going on, now?"

Kuroko opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shivered and hunched over, clutching Nigou tight. His eyes sought Kagami, pleading. "Kagami-kun..."

Kagami sighed and scraped a hand through his hair. He should have expected this. "Do you want me to tell him?"

Kuroko nodded and averted his eyes. It was all just too much for him.

Kagami braced himself. This was going to be rough. Aomine stared at him with hard, expectant eyes, though his hand was still gentle on Kuroko's arm. 

"This...this is going to make you angry," Kagami said.

Aomine nodded briskly. "Just tell me."

Kagami's hands clenched into fists. "Kuroko's not staying with his father anymore. He's never going back there again."

"Why?" The word was harsh and clipped, bitten out.

"Because..." A shiver passed over Kagami's body. "Because he's been hurting Kuroko. Beating him. Hitting him." His breath caught, but he forced the last words out. He'd put this in writing, but he hadn't said it aloud before. "Abusing him. Kuroko's father was abusing him."

Kagami expected an angry outburst, a typhoon of emotion. He expected Aomine to jump to his feet, maybe kick the wall the way Hyuuga had, maybe even take a swing at Kagami. He wouldn't have been surprised if Aomine had stormed out and only come back later when he'd calmed down.

None of this happened. Instead, Aomine seemed to suddenly deflate. His stiff posture loosened, his shoulders falling down. The healthy brown skin of his face seemed to lose all color. The hardness in his eyes vanished, replaced with emptiness and loss.

Only the hand on Kuroko's arm remained the same. Aomine's fingers tightened, not gripping hard enough to hurt, but just making sure. "Tetsu..." The word was broken, the voice was faint. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kuroko shook his head and looked away, unable to meet his gaze. The tears welled up, and he buried his face in Nigou's fur again. His shoulders heaved with silent sobs.

"He didn't tell anyone," Kagami said. The indignation and tension had run out of his body, too. All he felt was sadness. He moved closer, slowly so as not to startle either of them, and knelt beside them. He tried to catch Aomine's eyes, but the guy wouldn't look at him. It was like he was ashamed. "He didn't even tell me. I found out because I was there."

Aomine was shaking now, too. Kuroko let go of Nigou with one hand and reached out to Aomine without looking at him. Aomine took the hand in both of his and held it, pressed between his palms. "I should have been there," he whispered.

"He didn't even want me there," Kagami said. "It was an accident. He didn't want anyone to know. I was stubborn and persistent and pushy. If it had been up to Kuroko, no one would know. He'd still be there now."

Aomine looked at him. His eyes were large and blank and so, so sad. It reminded Kagami of the way he'd looked right after that game, the one where they'd finally beaten him. It had been such a long, hard fight, terrible and taxing for everyone involved. And this had been the result. _I lost._

"Then thank God for you, Kagami Taiga," Aomine said. "If you're saying that Tetsu would still be with his abusive dad if you weren't a stubborn, rude, Americanized returnee brat who doesn't know when to quit... Thank God for you. You saved us all. Again."

Kagami didn't know what to say. He'd been trying to make Aomine feel better, not draw praise to himself. But Kuroko nodded into Nigou's fur, and Kagami could see the sweet young middle school kid looking out of Aomine's eyes, and that was that.

Kagami was saved by a timer ringing in the kitchen. He cursed and jumped to his feet, his face flaming red. "The batter's ready. I gotta go now or it won't be as good."

Aomine and Kuroko stared at him. Kuroko actually lifted his face just so he could stare at him.

Kagami scowled at them both. "Batter," he repeated slowly. "For buttermilk pancakes. You have to let it set out for ten minutes after you add the baking soda... You know what, never mind. I'm going to go cook." He looked at Aomine. "Would you help Kuroko get back to the blanket fort? He can rest in there with Nigou while I make breakfast."

Aomine's face somehow got even more empty, his mouth hanging open. "Blanket...fort...?"

Kagami waved a hand at him, already hurrying toward the kitchen. "Kuroko can show you. And take off your shoes, you barbarian!"

The griddle was starting to smoke by the time he got back. Kagami cursed and turned down the heat, then stirred the batter (bubbling perfectly), poured some oil in the pan, waited for it to heat, folded in chocolate chips, and scooped the batter on to cook. The kitchen started to smell amazing, not that this was unusual by any means. Throughout, Kagami was dimly aware of noises in the main room, of Aomine making incredulous grunts and exclamations when he saw the blanket fort, Kuroko's gentle murmur calming him down. Then it went quiet in there, which was fine with Kagami. He sang along with his music and tried not to think.

Aomine was going to make everything more complicated, wasn't he? Kagami didn't know how he was going to get rid of him now. He was maybe starting to regret texting him to bring over the mutt.

But no, the look on Kuroko's face when he saw Nigou put an end to any of that. Kagami would endure just about anything right now to see that look on Kuroko's face. Including a dog he was afraid of and a basketball player who got on his last nerve.

Speaking of which... Aomine sauntered into the kitchen and leaned on the edge of the counter on his hip, staring at Kagami without blinking. Kagami tried to ignore him. He'd just flipped three pancakes and he needed to keep an eye on them. As soon the steam stopped rising and the pan stopped sizzling, they'd be ready...

Kagami's eyes strayed to Aomine, though, and caught him with his fingers in the cookie jar. Or the bag, anyway. "Oi! Don't eat my chocolate chips!"

Aomine raised his eyebrows and slowly, deliberately tossed his head back as he threw the chips into his mouth. "Why not?"

"Because I only have one bag!" Kagami stomped over, fuming, still holding his spatula in one hand like a tiny, useless weapon. He snatched the bag of chocolate chips away and put it up on the highest, farthest shelf he could find.

Aomine wandered around the counter to stare down at the pan. "What are you making?"

"I told you. Pancakes." There! They were ready. Kagami flipped the pancakes onto a plate in quick succession and put them in the oven with the others to keep warm. 

Aomine shook his head. "You're so weird."

"There's nothing weird about pancakes."

"You put chocolate chips in them, though. That's weird."

"It's completely normal."

"No, it isn't."

The last of the batter was safely in the pan, so Kagami was free to turn and give Aomine his hardest glare. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't." Aomine stared down at the batter in the pan with fascination, watching the bubbles begin to form. "I just wanted to make sure you're making enough for all three of us."

Kagami blew out a breath in exasperation. "Who invited you, anyway?"

Aomine gave him a bland look. "You did. And Tetsu asked me to stay."

It was a fair point. Kagami grunted and turned away. "Clearly that was a terrible idea."

"So are you making enough or not? If not, I'll just run down to the convenience store and get something for myself."

Kagami glanced at him. Aomine was looking at the floor as he nudged his sock-clad toe against the bottom of a cabinet. He looked uncomfortable, out of his element. But he was determined to stay here. 

Kagami could relate. He sighed, shoulders slumping in resignation. "Yeah, I'm making enough for three," he grumbled. He was making enough for six, not to put too fine a point on it, but he intended to eat more than half himself. Aomine's presence wouldn't be an unreasonable burden on the food supplies. 

Aomine raised his head. His expression had lightened.

"But you're not getting any of my maple syrup!" Kagami had to put his foot down somewhere.

Aomine waved a hand, already slumping his way out of the kitchen. "Fine, fine. I'm going to go make the blanket fort bigger."

Kagami froze. "Wait...what?"

"There's not enough room in there for three. Don't worry, Tetsu and I can handle it."

"No, don't!" Kagami raced after him. Some of those supports were far too flimsy to handle any rough handling from an athlete who didn't know his own strength...

It was too late. Aomine had already grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it away from the fort. The blanket roof collapsed right on top of Kuroko and Nigou, fallen in a like a sad, sad cream puff that had failed to rise in the oven. Only two small, startled lumps in the middle of the mess showed where Kuroko and his dog were.

"You idiot!" Kagami grabbed at Aomine, prepared to strangle the life out of him. "What do you think you're doing...!"

"It was an accident!" Aomine danced out of the way, eluding Kagami's grasping fingers. "You're getting batter all over the place, you slob!"

"I would have been better off inviting an elephant over to have pancakes than you, dumbass!" Kagami grabbed for him again.

"You gotta be quicker than that if you wanna catch me, slowpoke! How you ever beat me at basketball, even by a fluke, I'll never understand."

A small, high-pitched sound stopped them in their tracks. Aomine and Kagami froze, staring at each other. Their eyes were wide and startled. Kagami was still holding his spatula. 

Nigou barked, sharp and delighted. Aomine and Kagami look at each other, then slowly made their way over to the collapsed fort and stared down into the mess in the middle. The Kuroko-lump was shaking. The Nigou-lump was moving around in circles, barking happily. The sound came again. 

It was. It was a giggle. Kuroko was giggling.

"Kuroko?" Kagami asked cautiously.

"Tetsu?" Aomine's voice was no less hesitant. He craned his neck over to get a better look. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" Kuroko's voice was high-pitched and cracking. "Please, continue your fight! It's very, very ridiculous!"

Kagami and Aomine looked at each other, then slowly backed away. The momentum had been broken, and neither could quite remember what they were fighting about now.

"Kuroko?" Kagami asked. "Is it okay if we don't fight, and just fix the fort instead?"

"Yes, that's fine," Kuroko called.

So that was what they did.

Kagami only narrowly rescued his pancakes from burning.


	14. Chapter 14

Kagami wasn't kidding when he said you could do whatever you wanted in a blanket fort. Kuroko spent pretty much the rest of the day there. Despite the expansion, it was a bit cramped when all four of them were inside: Kuroko, Kagami, Aomine, and Nigou. But they made it work, with a bit of jostling and grumbling from the two giant basketball players. Kuroko hid his smile in his hand and was grateful, for once, to be short and slight.

The first feat was breakfast. Kagami was nervous about someone spilling maple syrup on his hard work, so they lay on their stomachs inside the fort with their heads out of the opening and their plates on the floor. Nigou sniffed around the plates, begging for scraps, until Kuroko picked him up very firmly and draped him over Aomine's legs. "Pancakes are bad for dogs," he told him sternly. "And so is chocolate."

Nigou panted, bathing Kuroko's face in dog breath, and licked his nose. Kuroko patted his head and lay back down between Kagami and Aomine. Nigou wouldn't stop whining, though, until Aomine wolfed his pancakes and sat up to play with him. 

The pancakes were good, but very sweet. Kuroko ate about half of his plate and felt accomplished for succeeding that much. Kagami shoveled food steadily into his mouth, never slowing down. They were lying so close, though, that Kuroko could feel him shiver and start every time Nigou made a loud noise or wiggled too strongly, shaking the fort. 

Kuroko looked at him in concern. Sweat was beginning to stand out on Kagami's temples, and his face was set in a scowl. Despite his relaxed posture, his muscles were stiff and tense.

"You really are scared of dogs," Kuroko murmured sadly. "Even after all this time? You seem all right when I bring him to basketball."

Kagami shook his head. "I'm usually okay with Nigou," he mumbled. "I think it's...just because he's so close right now. And...um...in my house." 

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Kagami turned his head to give him a painful smile. "It's just...uh...I was bit by a dog a long time ago, when I was a kid in LA. Actually, it was more than one dog, and... Well, anyway. It was really scary. And even though I know Nigou is a good dog, and he would never bite me, my body still reacts like I'm back in that situation. I'm sure I'll get used to him eventually. It will just take more time."

Kuroko folded his arms under his chin and stared forward, thinking about this. It was the same way for him, he was beginning to realize. His body had learned a lot of reactions, responses to his father, to the fear that lived in that place. Kuroko was going to have unlearn them. He knew it distressed Kagami when he flinched at sudden movements, when he hesitated to speak. But with this story, he knew that Kagami understood the reasons, too.

Kuroko turned his head and looked back at Kagami. "Is it too overwhelming for you to have Nigou here? I'm sure Aomine-kun would be happy to keep him."

"Oi!" Aomine said. "Don't speak for me!"

Kuroko looked at him. "Was I wrong? You don't want to keep my cute puppy for me?"

Aomine frowned. "I didn't say that. But won't you be sad without him?"

"You can visit often, right?" Kuroko paused, suddenly unsure of himself. "Or...would that be too troublesome?"

Aomine hesitated. Kuroko sighed and looked down. He was trying to avoid being a bother to either of his friends, but it seemed that he must trouble one or the other. 

Aomine nudged him in the side with his knee. "Hey."

Kuroko looked up at him.

Aomine's face was open and honest. "I want to visit you, all right? That would actually work out really well for me. I just..."

"You didn't want to say it aloud." Kuroko nodded. It all made sense now.

Kagami nudged him, too. He looked relieved by the decision. "I'm sure I'll get used to Nigou eventually," he said again. "Just be patient with me."

Kuroko blinked. "Of course." Kagami was being infinitely patient with Kuroko, after all. He couldn't imagine not returning the favor.

He sat up and took Nigou from Aomine so he could cuddle him in his lap and whisper in his ear. "Nigou, you must be very kind to Kagami-kun, all right? I know you like to nip playfully sometimes, but you must not nip at him. And try not to bark too much. You are very cute and he will grow to love you as much as I do, but we must both be very patient. He is the kindest person we know, and we need to value him as he deserves."

Nigou seemed to understand. He wiggled a bit in Kuroko's hold, then went still, curled up in Kuroko's lap with his chin resting on his knee. Kuroko scratched his ears.

Kagami cleared his throat and began crawling out of the blanket fort, gathering the plates as he went. Kuroko glanced up in time to see the bright shade of red on his face before he disappeared into the kitchen. Kuroko looked at Aomine.

"Was that too embarrassing?"

Aomine gave him a helpless look. "It was ridiculous, Tetsu. You're ridiculous."

"Mm." Kuroko ruffled Nigou's fur and blinked, long and slow. "But you are here, sitting with me in a blanket fort. You must not mind being ridiculous that much."

Aomine shook his head. He was watching Kuroko carefully. "You're...very open right now."

Kuroko considered. He knew he was acting oddly. His face was still too warm, and he felt a little floaty and detached. "I think I have a fever," he said solemnly. "Also, I cried for a very long time yesterday. Everything has broken down for me in the last couple of days." He laid a hand on his chest, pressing it over his heart. "I can feel a brokenness inside me. Did you know I can't play basketball anymore? That happened yesterday, too. It was why I cried."

"No, I didn't know that," Aomine said softly. "It must have been rough."

Kuroko nodded. He looked down, staring at Nigou as he rubbed his back with long, steady strokes of his hand. "I told my father that he could have anything he wanted from me. I would do whatever he told me to do, be whatever he wanted me to be. When he was...whipping me, yelling at me about how I had to show him proper respect, I had to be a good son. I told him I would do whatever he wanted. But I couldn't give up basketball. It was the only thing I had to keep, because it was mine, and it was precious to me."

His hands clenched into fists, trembling. Nigou whined and wiggled around to lick at his fingers, but Kuroko couldn't bring himself to respond. He thought he might cry again, but no tears came. It had only happened yesterday, but already this felt like an old wound. It was crusty and scabbed over, painful and never healed, but still nothing to weep about anymore, because there was nothing to be done.

He raised his head and looked at Aomine again. Aomine's face was drawn and pale. Kuroko was sorry. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone with this. He just wanted Aomine to understand what was happening to him. "I told him he couldn't have my basketball. But when I tried to play yesterday, I couldn't. Everything was gone. He took it away from me. I don't have anything left."

Aomine pulled in a breath. It sounded rough and shaky. His eyes were bright in the dim light that filtered in on them. "So you had a bad day," he said, and his voice was rough, too. "So what? Bad days happen. It doesn't mean your basketball is gone."

Kuroko shook his head. "I told you. I can feel the brokenness in me. It's very deep and it's very bad."

"Then we'll get it fixed. We'll get it fixed for you, Tetsu. Nothing is broken forever."

Kuroko went very still. He wanted to believe it. "Kagami-kun said that, too."

"Kagami is an idiot. But even idiots can be right once in a while."

Kagami cleared his throat. They looked over to find him crouching in the opening of the fort. His face was red again, or maybe it was still red from last time. "I'm right here, you know."

Aomine nodded complacently. "I know."

Kagami growled a bit in exasperation, then visibly let it go and focused on Kuroko. He held up the tube of gel in his hand. "I thought we should..." His face was apologetic, and he glanced at Aomine. "Unless you don't want him to see..."

Kuroko shook his head. "It's all right." He'd already told Aomine all of the worst parts. After losing basketball, his sore back seemed like nothing at all. 

He looked at Aomine. "It might bother you, though. You might not want to see it."

Aomine looked mystified. "I don't even know what you're talking about."

Kagami frowned at him. "Weren't you listening? Kuroko told you that his father whipped him."

Aomine's face turned even paler. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Kagami shook his head and crawled into the fort, situating himself behind Kuroko. He lifted the over-large t-shirt over Kuroko's head with no trouble, and Kuroko hunched forward, wrapping his arms around Nigou. Nigou whimpered and wagged his tail, thumping against Kuroko's leg, and let himself be held. Kuroko closed his eyes.

He heard Aomine moving around, manuevering himself so he could see Kuroko's back. There was a sharp gasp, quickly cut off. Then Kagami's hand, cool and gentle, began its familiar work.

"Aomine. Played any good basketball games lately?" Kagami was still determined to provide distraction, too. 

"What? What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question, idiot."

Aomine was quiet for a moment. Then he started talking. Kuroko hid his face in Nigou's fur and let the words wash over him.

When it was finished, Kagami helped him back into the t-shirt. Nigou jumped out of Kuroko's lap and leaped on Aomine, too energetic to be still anymore. Aomine grumbled and batted at him with his hands, but made no serious effort to stop him.

Kuroko moved around to face Kagami. Then he held out his arms. It felt natural now. This job wasn't finished until he'd gotten a hug. Kagami cut a sideways glance at Aomine, just daring him to say anything. But he was already leaning forward, and then Kuroko was wrapped in those strong, gentle arms again. He leaned his head on Kagami's shoulder and closed his eyes.

He was tired. A lot had happened in a very short time. He was glad to have Aomine and Nigou here, but it was also exhausting, having to interact with so many different personalities. His fever wasn't helping, either, and the sweet, syrupy breakfast weighed him down.

He must have been leaning into Kagami more heavily than usual. After a long moment, Kagami's hand tightened on his shoulder. "Kuroko?" His voice was faintly alarmed. "Is something wrong?"

"Just tired," Kuroko murmured. After another moment to soak in the sun, he gently disengaged, pulled back, and dropped down on his side into the soft pile. "Is it all right if I sleep here?"

"Of course. You can do whatever you want."

Kuroko took him at his word and closed his eyes. He drifted off to the sounds of Aomine and Kagami hesitantly talking about basketball. Right before it all faded away, Nigou nosed his way under Kuroko's arm and snuggled into his chest, letting out a doggish _whoosh_ of air once he was settled. Kuroko couldn't imagine a better and more comfortable place for a nap.

The rest of the day followed very comfortably from that beginning. Kuroko slept and woke, ate more of Kagami's food, read a light novel he had packed in his duffel, and played with Nigou, all without emerging from the blanket fort unless he needed to use the toilet. The four of them did not remain packed in there together at all times, but Kuroko was rarely alone. 

When Kagami was busy working in the apartment, Aomine sat with him and pestered him about the novel he was reading. When Aomine took Nigou out for a run, Kagami stayed with him, lazing around in comfortable silence. When Aomine and Kagami removed themselves to the kitchen to fight over what to make for supper, Nigou stayed in the fort, demanding infinite belly rubs. Kagami made sure Kuroko ate and drank and took his medicine, even when Kuroko had no desire to. Aomine accepted that the best he could do was just be with him, for as long as he was able. Nigou was Nigou, and Nigou was perfect.

Kuroko tried not to think about the Saturday basketball practice that they were all missing. Saturday practices were always a lot of fun, and Kuroko longed to be there with a deep and abiding ache in his chest. Aomine and Kagami said nothing about it, but Kuroko saw the way Kagami's fingers twitched at his side, as if he wanted to be dribbling a ball, and Aomine ignored several texts from Momoi-san on his phone.

When darkness fell, they all packed themselves into the blanket fort and watched Ponyo on Kagami's laptop. Kagami made popcorn (on the stove, not from a bag), and made them use napkins so they wouldn't wipe the grease on his blankets. Aomine started out skeptical that a kids' movie would be worth his time, but he fell under Ponyo's spell quicker than anyone Kuroko had ever seen, staring at the screen without blinking and growling in protest whenever someone jostled the laptop or obscured his view for a split second. Nigou snuggled with all and sundry and tried to eat the popcorn, forcing them to struggle to keep it away from him. Kuroko couldn't stop smiling for the entire hour and a half.

They watched all the way through the credits, transfixed. Kuroko hummed along, tapping his fingers on Nigou's head. Nigou tried to catch his hand in his mouth, and Kuroko let him. He shook him gently back and forth while Nigou pretended to gnaw on him. When it was finally over, Kagami closed the laptop with a satisfied sigh and tucked it under the nearest chair. They sat in silence for a few moments to absorb the magic. Kagami had left a light on in the hall, and it filtered through the blankets just enough for them to see each other's content expressions.

"I'm ready to talk now," Kuroko said, when a sufficient interval had passed.

Aomine and Kagami both turned their heads to look at him. "...What?" Kagami asked.

Kuroko gave him a nod. "That promise I gave you last night. I said I would tell you everything. I'm ready now."

Kagami watched him carefully. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Thank you for today. It was all very good preparation. I am rested and nourished and content, and I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I can talk to you now." He looked at Aomine. "And to you, too."

"Okay." Kagami reached out an arm to him, and Kuroko shuffled closer and leaned into his side. "If you're sure."

"I am."

And Kuroko began.


	15. Chapter 15

Despite his confident declaration that he was able to talk now, Kuroko fell silent for a long moment. He leaned into Kagami's side, one hand instinctively clutching Kagami's shirt, and his breathing was short and jerky. Aomine sat facing them, his expression layered with concern, sadness, and an intense attempt at _listening._ Kagami felt Kuroko's shoulders tense under his arm.

"Kuroko?" he asked. "Did you change your mind? Is this...is it too much right now?"

Kuroko shook his head. "If I can't speak now, I'll never be able to. I just...don't know where to start."

Nigou was sleeping curled up in a fluffy ball by Aomine's knee. He scratched a hand through the dog's fur, his eyes never leaving Kuroko's face. "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

"The beginning?" Kuroko sounded like even that was too confusing.

Kagami shuddered, though he tried not to let Kuroko feel too much of it. "The first time...the first time your father hurt you."

"Oh." Kuroko's head fell limp on Kagami's shoulder. He was staring into the distance, taking himself far away. Kagami found it disconcerting, but maybe it was necessary. Maybe Kuroko needed to feel some distance from these events so he could talk about them.

"I was...I was eight years old."

Kuroko and Aomine looked at each other, matching dismay in their eyes. This had been going on for all this time? How had they never noticed?

Kuroko shifted uneasily. "Kagami-kun... I told you that my father is not well. It's the truth. The first time he hurt me, he was hallucinating. He thought I was a demon. He thought he was fighting for his life." He fell silent for a moment, still staring sightlessly away.

Kagami did not feel like this was a good excuse for hurting your son. "What happened?" 

"I went to him...with a ball... I wanted to play catch in the garden. I remember that much. We had a house then, my father and my mother and I. He was sitting by himself, hunched up with his hands on his head, and I didn't realize that he wanted to be left alone. I was a selfish child. I just wanted to play. So I went to him. And he looked at me...and there was something awful in his face. He was pale, and now I know that it was terror I saw in his face, but I didn't know that then. I should have left him alone."

Aomine and Kagami looked at each other again, anger in their eyes. They hated hearing Kuroko blame himself for something that had happened when he was _eight years old._

"And he...punched me in the stomach. He punched me a lot, actually. My mother had to intervene. I don't remember much of what happened next. There was...a hospital. My stomach hurt terribly." He rolled his head sideways on Kagami's shoulder to look in his face. "I told you I knew what that pain was like. Internal damage. I was in the hospital for a while." He looked away again.

"When I came home, my mother took me aside and told me what had happened. My father had a sickness in his head. He was taking medicine now, but I needed to be careful. If I saw that look in his eyes, I needed to run away and find her so she could take care of it. So I did. I learned to be good at watching. I learned how to make sure he couldn't see me when he had that look on his face.

"My father was unstable for a while. It took time for the doctors to find the right medication and the right dose for him. Once they did, though, life became good again. We moved to Tokyo, and I discovered basketball. That was a great joy and pleasure in my life, despite the difficulties. We had good years."

Kagami squeezed his shoulders. "I'm glad," he said. "You deserved it."

He and Aomine shared another look. At least Kuroko hadn't been constantly tormented for the last _eight years._ Obviously something had gone very, very wrong recently. But it was an immense relief to know that Kuroko had had good times, too.

Kuroko nodded. His hair brushed against Kagami's neck. "When I was eleven, my mother was hit by a drunk driver while she was taking a walk. I miss her very much."

Kagami stiffened. He had figured that Kuroko's mother must be gone. He could not imagine the woman in that photograph letting her son be treated the way Kuroko had been treated. But it was one thing to surmise that something had happened, and quite another to hear it laid out in Kuroko's blank, impassive tone.

He could feel Kuroko trembling against him, so he knew that his heart was not as emotionless as his voice. He even understood, at least a little, why Kuroko needed to shut himself down like this. Not only was it part and parcel of the invisibility he had cultivated over many years, but it was entirely possible that Kuroko would not be able to talk at all if he did not force himself to be this cool, this detached.

Kuroko had spoken frankly to Aomine earlier because fever had loosened his tongue and shaken his wits, and he was off-balance and vulnerable after all of his barriers had been cracked by yesterday's emotional storm. But even all that was not enough to enable to Kuroko to share his history. Not without this distance, this blankness.

It was still disconcerting to listen to, though. And somehow the words seemed all the more stark and harsh, spoken in that neutral voice. 

"I'm sorry, Tetsu," Aomine said softly.

Kuroko nodded. He raised a shaky hand and swiped at his eyes. "She would have liked you. Both of you."

They were silent. 

"How did your father take it?" Kagami asked reluctantly. Something must have changed between then and now. There was no other explanation.

"Badly," Kuroko said, and there was a touch of fierceness in his voice. His hands clenched into shaky fists, though he did not lift his head from Kagami's shoulder. "He loved her. We both loved her. My father is a good person, Kagami-kun. I know you don't believe it, but it's true."

Kagami held his tongue. No, he did not believe that at all. Not even a little bit. But Kuroko wasn't able to hear arguments about it, not right now. 

Aomine did not have the same self-control. His bristled where he sat like a jungle feline bunched up into a tight coil, ready to spring. His fists were tight and his teeth were clenched. "How can you say that?" he demanded. "After what he did to you..."

"You don't understand!" The blankness in Kuroko's voice fell away, revealing the raw pain underneath. He pulled away from Kagami's side and sat straight, facing Aomine head-on. His hands were clenched into fists, too.

"Then make me understand!" Nigou twitched and whimpered in his sleep, and Aomine lowered his voice abruptly. "Explain this to me." He was shaking, too, though not as much as Kuroko. "Explain to me how you can call the man who beat you until you _bled_ a _good person."_

"Because that wasn't him!" Somehow, Kuroko made whispering sound like a shout. "It was the sickness in his head, it had to be, he wouldn't... He wouldn't do that if he wasn't sick, if he wasn't... He would never..."

"Kuroko..." Kagami reached out for him. The moment his fingers landed lightly on Kuroko's arm, Kuroko turned to him. His face was wrenched up in sorrow, but Kagami only saw that for an instant before Kuroko fell into him, wrapping his arms around Kagami's middle and hiding his face on his shoulder.

Kagami's heart all but fell out of his chest. "Kuroko..." 

Kuroko was shaking so hard that he shook Kagami, too. His fingers clenched in the back of Kagami's shirt, fists pulling tight. "He wouldn't," he choked out. "He wouldn't, he wouldn't."

Kuroko had to believe that. Kagami understood. This was a necessary thing.

"I know," he forced out through gritted teeth. "I know."

Aomine's face was pained, too. He opened his mouth to protest, then closed it when Kagami glared at him. 

Kuroko sagged against him, rapidly losing power. Kagami's heart thumped in alarm. If Kuroko ran out of strength to tell the rest of the story now, he didn't know when they'd get another chance. Some instinct told him that this was now or never. Once Kuroko told it once, he might be able to tell it again. But they had to get through the first telling tonight, someway, somehow.

"Kuroko..." Kagami patted his head, light and nervous. "Kuroko, let's lie down, all right? You're exhausted."

Kuroko nodded into his shoulder. Kagami eased them down into the pillows. He ended up flat on his back, his feet sticking outside the fort. Kuroko curled up against him with his head still on his shoulder, Kagami's arm around him. Aomine watched them with a strange look on his face, then seemed to come to a decision. He lay down on Kuroko's other side, after gently shifting Nigou to the side to make room for his legs. It was like the way they'd eaten pancakes, except not at all.

Kagami lay still and listened until Kuroko's breathing calmed. His heart felt like a burning coal in his chest. Kuroko had reached out to him twice today, first wordlessly asking for a hug, and this time not so much asking as demanding. Kagami didn't know if it was a measure of the trust between them, or just how very, very badly Kuroko needed touch and reassurance. Or if it was both. Either way, Kagami felt incredibly moved. 

And he felt responsible. Kuroko was depending on him. He couldn't let him down.

Kagami opened his mouth to ask a question, to prompt Kuroko to go on. But Kuroko drew a deep breath and started talking on his own.

"This is why I couldn't tell anyone. Because I knew it would be like this. No one would understand. There's too much prejudice in this country against people with mental illness. Everyone thinks that this is how it is, that they're all dangerous and violent and should be shunned by society, and it's not true. Do you know why we moved to Tokyo? It wasn't because my father got a promotion, or because my mother found a job here. It was because my father's family disowned him. My parents wanted to get away from their hometown.

"And you don't know... Nobody knows... You don't, you can't possibly understand... Just how, how _good_ my father can be. He's kind and hardworking and funny, and we didn't get to spend a lot of time together, but it was always so _good_ when we did. I miss that, I miss him, and I wanted so, so much to fix everything, to bring him back, and I couldn't. I failed. I failed my father and I failed my family and I failed myself."

Kuroko wasn't crying. His voice was soft and blank and utterly, completely desolate. This was the loss and emptiness he felt. This was the grief that was tearing him apart. It wasn't for himself; it was for his father.

"Tetsu." Aomine's voice was quiet, all of his anger and indignation hidden away. "What changed?"

Kuroko went still. He all but held his breath. He was like a tiny animal trying to avoid the eye of a predator, but it was already too late.

"Your dad didn't develop an allergy, did he? But you had some kind of warning that something was going wrong. You got Nigou out of there before he got hurt. When I saw you, everything seemed fine. Something happened. What was it?"

Kagami waited. He could feel Kuroko's tension, and he knew it was about to break. There was no need to push any farther—Kuroko had said he was going to tell them everything, and he would keep his word. But there was something about this last part that was worse than the rest. 

Soon enough, Kuroko cracked. He let out a breath and went limp, all of the stress running out of his body at once. Then he drew a breath, shaky, faint, and opened his mouth. 

"A little more than a month ago, my father told me that he had a chance at a promotion at his job. But to ensure his success, he was going to need to socialize with his bosses in the evening. That meant drinking. His medication...doesn't mix well with alcohol. So he decided to stop taking it."

It took a moment to process this. Then Kagami almost choked on his rage. The bastard _chose._ He knew he was dangerous, he knew what could happen, and he still _chose._ For a chance at a _promotion..._

He put financial success over the well-being of his son. His only child. He knew full well what he was doing and he _did it anyway._

"I asked him not to," Kuroko admitted softly. So he knew, too. "He said it was only temporary. But after a few days..."

"Tetsu..." Aomine's voice was shaking with the same fury Kagami felt in himself. "This is not convincing me that your father is a _good person."_

"It wasn't that bad at first," Kuroko protested, but his voice was weary and ashamed and very, very small. 

"What does that mean?" Kagami asked. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep his voice sounding relatively normal. "He only hit you once in a while? He just grabbed you by the arms and called you names? He didn't take a belt to you?"

Kuroko was quiet for a long moment. "...Yes."

Kagami breathed, in and out. Aomine sat up suddenly, his body a tight coil of anger, and hunched in the dimness. His shadow was a silhouette on the flimsy wall. 

"You said you failed," Kagami said. "You were trying to fix it. You tried to convince him to start taking his medicine again?"

"Yes." Kuroko struggled for breath. The atmosphere was thick and heavy, as if they stood under an encroaching storm. "But once he started seeing me as an enemy..."

"Nothing you said could convince him." Aomine's fist curled tight against his body. "Nothing you did meant anything to him."

Kuroko held his breath for a moment. “I tried...so hard…”

Kagami reached up to pat his head again. “I know. I know you did.”

The tight coil of Aomine suddenly released. He lurched forward, scrambling to get out of the close space. “I need some air,” he ground out. “Does that balcony door open, Kagami?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

The entire structure shivered as Aomine forced his way out. They listened to him all but run the few steps to the balcony. A cool breeze blew through the apartment as Aomine rushed outside and closed the door behind him.

“He’ll be back in a little while,” Kagami said. He understood why Aomine had to leave. He also knew he would return.

Kuroko nodded hesitantly. “I just hope...Aomine-kun won’t be too angry with me, once he gets a chance to cool down.”

Kagami’s breath halted in his throat, every muscle locking in place for a moment. “Oh my God, Kuroko. He’s not angry at you.”

Brief silence. “...Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. I’m not angry at you either.”

Kuroko said nothing.

The depth of the misconception here took Kagami’s breath away. Kuroko thought he was a failure. He thought it was his responsibility to take care of his father, instead of the other way around. He thought that Aomine and Kagami were angry at him for not succeeding at an impossible task.

Kagami had a sudden glimpse of the days ahead, of all the work that needed to be done before Kuroko would be completely healed and free of this tragedy that had overtaken his life. What had Himuro said? _Post-traumatic stress and self-esteem and probably depression._ Yeah, all of those. Himuro had been right. 

Treating the physical damage...that was the easy part. 

“Kuroko?” Kagami asked. “Do you believe me? I’m not even a little bit angry at you. Neither is Aomine.”

After a moment, Kuroko nodded into his shoulder. Kagami had no idea if it was a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little more difficult to write, for various reasons. I hope I'm not slipping into OOC territory, but I couldn't seem to write it any other way. Kuroko NEEDED reassurance.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made a playlist: [Come Morning Light](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLelj9LO80m3vGyJP9pY3JVUFCiMqj2ZzB)
> 
> I've listened to it a lot.

Aomine rested his elbows on the railing and leaned over, staring out on the Tokyo landscape. Kagami's apartment was pretty high up, but Aomine wasn't nervous about the height. He liked the sensation of being suspended in midair, in the darkness and the myriad lights of the city. It helped him gain some distance, some perspective.

His head was still pounding, his blood racing in his veins. He knew where Tetsu lived—he'd gone there to pick up Nigou a month ago. He could go there now. He could ring the doorbell, and when that bastard answered, he could punch him in the face. He imagined how satisfying it would be, the crunch of cartilage under his fingers, the spurt of blood, the shout of pain.

He could do it. He could do it anytime. Aomine held onto the thought with all his strength. It was always an option. 

Just knowing that he could go do this, anytime he wanted, helped Aomine regain his calm. He could do that. Tetsu wouldn't like it and would be upset if he knew, so Aomine _wouldn't_ do it, for Tetsu's sake. But he could. He always could.

That crazy bastard _fuck._ The things he did to Tetsu... 

Aomine leaned back and grabbed the railing with both hands. He held so tightly that his knuckles and wrists began to ache. No, he couldn't keep thinking like this. He couldn't go back inside while all of this rage was still pouring through him. All he would do was scare Tetsu half to death, and Tetsu didn't deserve that. He didn't need anger right now. He needed...

Well, he needed whatever Kagami was doing, obviously. Aomine had thought it was weird at first, the way Kagami had apparently decided that he was now a mother hen and Tetsu was his chick. He'd even built a literal nest for the guy.

But the more time Aomine spent around them and the more he found himself drawn into the world they had created in this apartment, the more he saw that this was exactly what Tetsu needed. Tetsu needed someone to look out for him and cook him food and put cream on his sores and make him take medicine for his fever and his pain. Aomine couldn't do that. He'd never been that person, not even back in middle school when he'd threatened to quit the basketball team for Tetsu's sake. It wasn't his style of caring.

So yeah, thank God for Kagami Taiga. Thank God for rude, stubborn, Americanized returnee brats who were perfectly fine with giving traumatized child abuse victims everything they possibly could. Including probably a million hugs? Aomine wasn't sure how many times Kagami had hugged Tetsu in the last few days, but it had to be up there.

Before he left, Aomine had to make sure he hugged Tetsu at least once. It would be a challenge, but he would figure it out. He couldn't lose to Kagami in this. 

That was the thought that finally had Aomine's feet moving him back toward the door, back into that apartment. Back to the close little space, to the horror of Tetsu's words as he calmly gave them the plain, unvarnished facts about the awful things that had happened to him, that had been done to him. Aomine set his hand on the door and pulled in one last breath of cold, clear air before he moved inside again.

He slid the door shut quietly behind him and tilted his head at the soft conversation coming from inside the blanket fort.

"So what do you think she and Lisa were talking about for all that time? Like, how to take care of fish or whatever?"

A heavy sigh. "No, Kagami-kun, she turned into a little girl, remember? Lisa wouldn't need to know how to take care of fish."

"Well, how to take care of a fish that turned into a little girl, then?"

"How would that be different than just taking care of a little girl?"

Silence for a couple of seconds. "Maybe Lisa was the one reassuring her that everything was going to be okay, then."

Aomine slumped, suddenly exhausted. Those two nerds were talking about _Ponyo._ He sauntered over to the blanket fort and knocked his fist against one of the chairs. "Oi. Talk about something more interesting."

The other two were quiet for a beat. Then, "Aomine-kun. Come sit with us again."

"Fine." It wasn't like Aomine had planned on doing anything different. He moved back to the opening of the fort and crouched down to squint in at them. 

Kagami and Tetsu were pretty much like he'd left them, lounging around in the swamp of pillows and bedding on the floor. Kagami was still on his back, but he'd propped up his head and shoulders with a wad of blankets. Tetsu was still cuddled up on his shoulder, but he looked a lot less tense now. Nigou had crept under one of the chairs, just his nose sticking out from the blankets. How long had Aomine been gone?

Long enough for them to start discussing the finer points of _Ponyo,_ apparently.

"Aomine," Kagami said. "Settle something for us."

Aomine frowned at him in confusion, but crawled into the fort and found a place to sit where he could see both of their faces. "Yeah?" he asked, slow and cautious. Was this going to be something about Ponyo? He'd liked the movie, but he really didn't have any further thoughts on it.

"Kuroko said he believed me, but I'm not sure he did," Kagami said. "So just set him straight, all right? Tell him it wasn't him you were angry at when you stormed out of here."

Aomine froze in horror for a moment, his eyes going wide. "What? No!" His gaze flew to Tetsu, found him watching him warily, with the eyes of a cornered animal. Not sure whether to run or not, whether the creature approaching it was a threat. "Damn it, Tetsu, is that what you thought? I was angry, yeah, but not at you. Never at you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"See?" Kagami nudged Tetsu's shoulder. His voice was stupidly smug. "I told you."

Aomine couldn't take his eyes off Tetsu. He felt like he'd been doused in ice water. Just how messed up had things gotten for this kid? Why would he even think that?

Tetsu was still watching him with those wary eyes. “But...I lied to you.”

Aomine had to think hard to even come up with what he was talking about. “You mean...the allergy thing?”

Tetsu nodded.

“You’re feeling guilty about that?” Aomine shook his head. “Forget it. Even if you’d tried to explain the truth to me, I doubt I would have understood. What would you have said? ‘My dad’s a psychotic bastard and he’s decided to stop taking his medication, and I don’t want Nigou to get kicked across the room when he’s in a bad mood.’ Something like that?”

Tetsu looked away.

Aomine rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I thought not. Look, I get why you lied. You were trying to protect your family. And of course now that I know everything, if I could go back in time I would get you out of there before anything bad happened to you. So would Kagami. But we understand why you did what you did, and we don’t blame you.”

"But...it didn't even work." Tetsu rubbed a fist against his eye, hunching into himself as he tried to process this. "I tried so hard, and it was all useless in the end..."

"Nothing is useless," Aomine burst out. Tetsu's gaze flew back to him in shock. Aomine sighed, his shoulders slumping. His voice fell low in remembered shame. "I know...I said other things to you in the past. I hurt you with my words, and I regret it now. I don't even have the excuse of an illness. I was just caught up in my own selfishness and apathy. But I recognize that now, and I'm going to try not to do it again. You...and Kagami..." He nodded to the other. "...showed me I was wrong. And I'm grateful for that. So stop thinking you're useless, okay? You're not. You couldn't save your dad, but that's not on you."

Tetsu's breath came harder and rougher, as if he was fighting tears. "But it had to be me. There wasn't anyone else. He doesn't have anyone..."

"That's still not your job," Kagami said. His arm tightened around Tetsu, pulling him closer into his side. His voice was firm and grim. "Your father is supposed to take care of you, not the other way around. He dismissed you. He put his own desires over you. That's not the way a father is supposed to be. None of this is on you. None of it is your fault."

"But if I had been able to convince him somehow, if I'd been able to figure out a way, if I'd been smarter or stronger or more persuasive...this all could have been avoided..."

"If, if, if!" Kagami huffed out a breath in exasperation. "Are you listening to yourself? Sure, we could win every basketball game if we were superhuman. We could fly to the moon if we had wings and could breathe in the vacuum. It's a meaningless argument. You did everything you possibly could, including things you feel guilty about now, like lying to Aomine. You have to stop blaming yourself for not being able to do the impossible."

Tetsu went silent. Maybe he was thinking about it. Maybe he'd just decided that talking meant nothing at this point.

"Tetsu." Aomine tried for the same tone Kagami was using, firm, allowing no argument. "Your father really should be in jail."

Tetsu's entire body went stiff, his hands clenching into fists. "You too?" His voice was pure frustration. He pushed off Kagami and sat up to face Aomine, and his eyes were sparking with heat in the dimness. "How many times do I have to explain this? He's _sick._ He doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't need jail—he needs help!"

He turned to Kagami, shaking now with distress. "Do you still think that, too? Now that I've told you everything, you still don't understand?"

Kagami's jaw set in stubborness. "I understand just fine," he said. "I'm sorry, Kuroko. I don't want to fight with you. And I know it hurts you to hear this. But your father is dangerous and cruel, and he belongs in jail."

"They'll make him take his medication in jail," Aomine pointed out. "You couldn't force him, but they'll be able to do it. If you really want to get him back, this is the only way."

"No..." Tetsu deflated, his fists falling down at his sides. Frustrated tears were rising in his eyes. "How can I make you understand..."

Aomine blew out a breath. He wanted to ask the same question.

"Kuroko." Kagami's big hand reached out and landed on the top of Tetsu's head, covering it almost completely. He was sitting up now, leaning forward as he tried to catch Tetsu's attention. His face was etched with concern. "Kuroko, will you answer a few questions?"

Tetsu swiped at his eyes with his fingers and nodded, slow, painful.

Kagami closed his eyes for a moment. "Did your father never...in all the time that he was stable, when he was taking his medication... Did he never hurt you at all during all those years? Never hit you, never grabbed you, never left a bruise? Never spoke cruelly to you?"

Kuroko held very, very still. It was like he'd been carved in ice. The answer came in a breathless hush. "No."

Aomine's fingernails dug into his palms. So his father _had_ hurt him. It _had_ been going on for all this time. And they'd never noticed.

Kagami nodded slowly, as if he'd expected nothing else. "And after he quit taking his medication, how many days passed before he hurt you again?"

Kuroko trembled. "Three."

Kagami nodded again. "Three," he echoed. "Three. All right, last question. When your father was whipping you, beating you, did he say it was because you were a demon and something he had to fight? Or did he say it was because you were a bad son and you weren't showing him the proper respect?"

Kagami and Aomine's eyes met briefly. They already knew the answer to this one.

Kuroko sagged. He knew they already knew.

"Tetsu," Aomine dared to ask. He could barely hear his own voice. "When was the last time he whipped you?"

"It was...Wednesday night."

"The day before I came over," Kagami murmured. "I knew it had to be recent, but..." 

Kagami ran out of words, too. His hand slid away from Tetsu's head. Tetsu held himself up with his hands on the floor, his head bowed, his body shaking.

Aomine watched them both sadly. He'd never felt pain like this before. It stirred something deep inside his chest.

He moved forward, getting up on his knees, then crouching over to put his hands on Tetsu's shoulders.

"Tetsu. Forget about your dad's sickness for a moment. It doesn't matter. He's not cruel to you because he's sick. He's cruel to you, _and_ he also happens to have an illness. You can't excuse the first one based on the other one."

Tetsu shook his head. His elbows started to collapse, unable to hold his weight. Aomine tightened his grip on his shoulders and held him up.

A lump had risen in his throat. But he'd gotten a flash of understanding now, and he needed to express it. "I get that it was important for you to believe that. You had to believe that if your father could be cured, if you just found the right medication, if you just acted the right way to avoid making him angry... That everything would be okay. It gave you hope and it helped you survive.

"But you don't need that anymore. You're here. He's never gonna touch you again. So now you can look back at it with clear eyes and understand how false that hope was. It'll be hard and it'll hurt, but I believe you can do it."

Tetsu shook his head. "No..."

Aomine felt like crying. "You can, Tetsu. I know you can. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but soon. None of this was your fault. I know it. Kagami knows it. You can tell this story to anyone you want, and they'll know it, too."

Tetsu paused. His breath came wet and ragged, torn. He was on the edge of something, Aomine could feel it. "You sound...so sure..."

"That's because we are," Kagami said. "You know how different the two of us are. You know it better than anyone. But here we both are, telling you the same thing. This wasn't your fault. We know it. We'll tell you a thousand times if that's what it takes."

"Aomine-kun..."

Aomine had to whisper around the lump in his throat. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. There, that's three. Do you want me to keep going?"

"Aomine-kun..." Tetsu shook his head. He dragged himself upright, raising his head so he could look Aomine in the eyes. His face was screwed up in a grimace of pain. Then he fell forward into Aomine's chest and hid there, his face buried under Aomine's chin.

Aomine froze for a split second, not sure of what to do. His eyes flew to Kagami, who just raised his eyebrows as if prompting Aomine to go on. Aomine looked down at Tetsu, then slowly, hesitantly let go of his shoulders and put his arms around him instead.

He held him lightly, delicately, afraid of hurting him. Tetsu snuffled and shifted closer, pressing harder into his chest. Aomine raised a hand to cradle his head the way he'd seen Kagami do. Tetsu released a tiny sigh, as if that was exactly what he'd been looking for, and relaxed against him.

Well. This wasn't so bad. Aomine didn't hate it even a little bit.

Kagami Taiga was an idiot and a brat and a mother hen. But he had the right idea on this one. Aomine wasn't too proud to admit it.

Just to himself, though.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Properly formatted playlist: [When Did the Sky Turn Black](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/117609522146/a-playlist-for-the-kuroko-no-basuke-fanfiction)

Kagami woke with a start, chased out of sleep by strange, unsettling dreams. They were on a basketball court, playing as they always did, when a sinkhole suddenly opened beneath their feet and sucked Kuroko down while Kagami scrambled to catch him, his hand grasping only air. Or they were walking home from school, pausing on the bridge to watch the water, and blue-gray fog rose all around them and swallowed Kuroko from his sight. Or they were jogging on a beach, and for once Kagami was behind Kuroko instead of the other way around, and Kagami just couldn't keep up with him, his arms and legs dragging as if he was running through thick, heavy syrup, and all he could was watch as Kuroko disappeared into the distance.

Awake, Kagami lay still and breathed, slow and steady. He stared up at the ceiling above his head, flimsy and shifting in the multicolored city lights glowing in the window. He was still in the blanket fort. After that long, draining conversation, after Aomine awkwardly took his leave with a sleepy Nigou in his arms, neither Kagami nor Kuroko had felt like disassembling enough bedding to take back to their own beds. So they hadn't.

As the cobwebs cleared away from his head, Kagami became aware of Kuroko's breathing, long and soft and with just the edge of a wheeze, and he felt the gentle weight on his stomach. His raised his head enough to spot Kuroko curled up on his side, his body perpendicular to Kagami's and his head resting on Kagami's blanket-covered abdomen. He was wrapped in so many covers that he looked like nothing more than a strange, oblong dumpling with light blue filling poking out one end.

But he was there. He was fine. He hadn't vanished.

Kagami let his head thump back down on his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. It didn't take a mystic to interpret his dreams. After getting a glimpse of just how many issues Kuroko had, just how many fears and hurts and misconceptions twined around his heart like the black strands of a spiderweb, Kagami was worried. Himuro had warned him, but that was nothing next to actually getting a look at the problem himself.

This was the kind of thing that could destroy Kuroko. It could tear him up and ruin him. For life. Kagami would do anything he could to stop that from happening, but he didn't know how. He hadn't even been able to convince Kuroko that this whole mess wasn't his fault, though somehow _Aomine_ had been able to come up with the right words on that one.

Kagami knew he wasn't good with words. He could feed Kuroko and treat his wounds and give him hugs and build a blanket fort for him, but he didn't know what to say. Not in Japanese, and not in English.

A notification noise from a cell phone broke Kagami out of the anxious spiral of his thoughts. He looked around, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. Oh, he'd tucked his phone under that chair with his laptop. He'd forgotten. Kagami reached out one long arm, snagged the phone, then brought it back to his face to see what the message was.

It was a text from his big brother.

From: Himuro  
>>How are you doing? Haven't talked in a while.

Kagami closed his eyes. Since their reconciliation after the Winter Cup, he and Himuro tended to text each other at least once a week. It had only been two days, this time. But what a full two days they had been. No wonder Himuro was anxious to hear from him. Why was he up this late?

Maybe he couldn’t sleep, either.

To: Himuro  
>>I'm okay. You were right though.

From: Himuro  
>> About what?

To: Himuro  
>>About how hard this is going to be.

The phone was quiet for a little bit.

From: Himuro  
>>Did you get him to talk to you about what happened?

To: Himuro  
>>Yeah. It's pretty bad, Aniki. He's been through some horrible stuff.  
>>And he's convinced that he's a failure. That he should have been able to fix it.  
>>By himself. From the time he was eight.  
>>I don't know what to say to him.

From: Himuro  
>>Besides that he's wrong about that, you mean?

To: Himuro  
>>Yeah. I don't know how to convince him.

From: Himuro  
>>If we were in the States I would tell you to think about convincing him to talk to somebody.  
>>Somebody professional, I mean. But I don't think Japan has a lot of resources for mental health.

To: Himuro  
>>Yes, I've heard that.

From: Himuro  
>>Japan doesn't have a good support system for kids like this. At all.  
>>Did you know orphanages are still a thing here? They really aren't a thing anymore in the US.  
>>Foster care is a lot more common. Group homes for troubled kids, but that's different.  
>>Japan isn't like that. I've been doing research.

A chill ran over Kagami's shoulders at the thought. What did that mean for Kuroko? He didn't want Kuroko to end up in an orphanage. He wanted Kuroko here, with him, for as long as Kuroko needed someone.

From: Himuro  
>>But he talked to you. That's good.

To: Himuro  
>>I didn't record it. I didn't want to break the flow when he suddenly said he was ready.  
>>And I still haven't convinced him to go the police. He thinks he owes his dad something.  
>>He kept saying, "I can't. I can't do that to him."

From: Himuro  
>>Well...that might be a good thing.

Kagami stared at that one for a while.

To: Himuro  
>>What?

From: Himuro  
>>I told you, I've been doing research.  
>>If the authorities get involved, Kuroko is pretty much guaranteed to end up in an orphanage,  
>>unless he has a relative who can take custody of him.

To: Himuro  
>>I don't think so. It sounds like his extended family cut ties.

From: Himuro  
>>Japan doesn't have a process for emancipating minors.  
>>Abuse is prosecuted very harshly, as it should be.  
>>But like I said, the support for the kids is barely there. He'll end up trapped in the system.

Kagami felt dizzy. The imagery from his dream resurfaced, that dense, cold fog wrapping around him, Kuroko fading out of sight, invisible. Lost.

To: Himuro  
>>Aniki, I can't let that happen.

From: Himuro  
>>I know. But I think there might be another way. Just...not exactly inside the law.

To: Himuro  
>>...Do I even want to know what you're talking about?

From: Himuro  
>>Maybe not. Not yet, anyway. Just keep doing what you're doing.  
>>Keep being kind and compassionate, the way I know you are.  
>>Keep getting him to talk about what he's been through. Record it if you can, next time.

To: Himuro  
>>Even though we're not going to go to the authorities anymore?

From: Himuro  
>>Yeah. It's still important. I'll tell you why later.  
>>Do you trust me?

Kagami didn't even have to think about this one.

To: Himuro  
>>Of course.

From: Himuro  
>>I thought so.  
>>Take care of yourself, Taiga. Everything will be all right.

Kagami set the phone down on his chest and stared up at the ceiling. He wanted to believe it. Even over the impersonal distance of text messages on cell phones, Himuro's words had a calming effect.

He wished Himuro was here. Akita was really far away. The text messages and phone calls were nice, but it would be even better to talk face to face.

It would be nice if his dad was here, too... But that was old ache, long smoothed over by time, though still tender at the edges. Kagami had never really gotten used to living alone. So he'd never minded hosting Alex, or even the whole team.

Maybe he was being selfish. Maybe he wanted Kuroko to stay with him for his own sake, not Kuroko's. Maybe Kuroko would be better off in a place where people were used to dealing with kids like him who had been through terrible experiences. Himuro had said that the support system wasn't very good, but surely the adults at those kinds of places still had a better idea of what to do than Kagami did. Since Kagami had no idea at all.

Even a little idea would be better than none. Right?

"Kagami-kun..." Kuroko's voice was sleepy and slurred.

Kagami looked down and found that Kuroko had rolled over, still with his head on Kagami's stomach, but now looking in his direction. His eyes were heavy-lidded, his cheeks flushed, and his bedhead was absolutely amazing even lying down. Kagami folded an arm behind his head to prop himself up and tried to give him a smile.

"Sorry, did I wake you? I should have turned off the text sound."

Kuroko blinked, long and slow, and ignored this completely. "You seem troubled, Kagami-kun. Your thoughts were very loud."

"Sorry." Kagami frowned. Kuroko was shivering, hunching into himself under all his covers, yet his body heat where he pressed against Kagami's side was abnormally warm. "Is your fever worse? Maybe you should take more medicine."

Kuroko shook his head, once, just rocking it from side to side. "I don't want more medicine. I want you to tell me what's troubling you."

Kagami hesitated. Kuroko certainly deserved to know, since it was all about him. But he didn't want to add more burdens to the ones already weighing down those slender shoulders, especially when Kuroko wasn't feeling well.

Kuroko frowned at him, something of his old fierceness lighting in his eyes. "I told you everything," he mumbled, not a little petulantly. "You should tell me something, too."

Kagami sighed. The guy had a point. "Fine, then... You might have guessed that I was texting with my brother..."

"Himuro-san, yes. Your eyes are always bright when you communicate with him."

Kagami paused, then shook his head and went on. "He's been helping me out, giving me advice."

Kuroko slumped down a little more heavily. His eyes were almost shut now. "I remember. You told him I was just your classmate."

"Yeah, but he figured out it was you." Kagami tensed, expecting a look of betrayal, but Kuroko didn't even twitch.

"Himuro-san is perceptive. And he cares about his little brother."

"He's worried about you, too. He says..." Kagami trailed off. This was the part he didn't really want to talk about. Kuroko didn't even seem to understand that he had wounds that went beyond the physical. How was Kagami suppose to explain to him that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to cure them?

Kuroko just lay there, watching him patiently.

Maybe he should try this a different way. "Kuroko...do you want to stay here? With me?"

"Yes." The response was instant and absolute.

"Even though I'm just another high school boy? Shouldn't you have someone older and more experienced to take care of you? I know...you lost your parents, and maybe you don't want new ones... But you're still just sixteen years old. You deserve to have someone who knows what they're doing looking out for you."

Kuroko blinked. His eyes were wide now in the city lights trailing in from the window, and very blue. "Kagami-kun knows what he's doing."

"That's where you're wrong, Kuroko. I really, really don't."

Kuroko's jaw set in stubborness. "I'm not a fish."

It was Kagami's turn to blink. "...What."

"I'm not a fish. And I'm not a little girl who was transformed from a fish. I don't need special care."

 _But you do,_ Kagami thought. _You really do._

"I can see you thinking." Kuroko poked one hand out from his blankets so he could point his finger at Kagami's face. "Stop that."

Kagami had to smile at that one. He'd never seen Kuroko act like this before. "Your fever is pretty bad, huh?"

Kuroko scowled at him. "Don't dismiss me because I'm acting oddly."

"I'm not dismissing you." Kagami raised his hands in surrender. "What you want is very important to me."

"Okay. Good." Kuroko snuggled his head down into Kagami's side and closed his eyes again. "Then the answer is easy. I want Kagami-kun."

"But you might be better off if..."

"No." Kuroko opened one eye to glare at him. "I would not be better off anywhere else. Stop thinking that. You are the best person I know, but you are an idiot."

Kagami huffed out a breathless chuckle and let his hands fall down at his sides. "Fine. We'll figure it out."

"Good. We're agreed." Kuroko's mouth opened wide in a yawn, and then he curled up even tighter, eyes squeezing shut as if to signal that the conversation was over. "Please take care of me, Kagami-kun."

Kagami froze where he was for a moment, his breath halted in his throat. It was a common phrase here, often just a meaningless greeting... But this didn't sound meaningless. It sounded forthright, and steady, and very, very confident.

"Yeah," he said, through a throat suddenly too tight to allow proper speech.

Kuroko didn't answer. He was already asleep.

Not long afterward, Kagami was too.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so, so much for your lovely reviews and comments. They mean a great deal to me. Generally I would try to respond, but my life has been very full lately, so I thought that the best thanks would be to just keep posting new chapters as quickly as possible.

Aomine couldn't stop thinking about how unfair it was. He spent most of Sunday morning moping around the apartment while his mom worked around him and Nigou nipped at his fingers, trying to get him to play. And of course his phone buzzed with several texts from Satsuki, wondering where he'd been yesterday, but he ignored those, too.

He kept feeling phantom pressure on his chest, light and trembling and slightly damp. Like Tetsu was pressing his face there again, wordlessly asking Aomine to comfort him. It had felt good to respond to that request, to be the rock and the bulwark that Tetsu needed. Now the sensation just made him uncomfortable because he wasn't there and he couldn't respond. He'd texted Kagami to ask when he could come over again, but Kagami said Tetsu's fever had gotten worse and he needed to rest.

And he just kept thinking about how massively unfair the entire situation was. Tetsu was just a kid when his father decided, for whatever reason (Aomine didn't completely buy the "mental illness" excuse), that he had the right to beat Tetsu up, to hurt him and tear him down. Tetsu was still just a kid now, really, though Aomine never liked reminders of how young they all were. Kids weren't supposed to have to worry about this stuff. Kids weren't supposed to be _injured_ by their _parents._

Aomine had known that child abuse existed before this, of course. But he'd never thought about it. He'd never been smacked in the face by just how horrible it was. It was all rather difficult to grasp, and it made him hurt in a way he'd never felt before.

His mind kept getting stuck on Tetsu's duffel bag. At some point during the day, Aomine had found himself at loose ends, and he'd wandered around Kagami's apartment and found the spare room—soon to become "Kuroko's Room" permanently and always, if Kagami's word was anything to go by. Aomine had looked around the room, saw how generic it was, the neutral furnishings, the decorations that looked like they'd been picked from whatever came first on a list.

And there against the wall was Tetsu's duffel bag. Some clothing items were scattered around it, and a pocket was open where Tetsu had removed the novel he was reading, but the bag was still mostly full. Tetsu had made no effort to unpack, to move his few belongings into the space that was now his. And yeah, he'd been kind of occupied, so it made sense that he hadn't bothered yet, but still.

It looked so...transient. So small and pitiful. All Tetsu had in the world was in that bag or on his back, and it wasn't right. It wasn't _fair._

Tetsu was the victim in this affair. He was the innocent party, wronged by his father, by the forces arrayed against him, by society in general and the world at large, as far as Aomine was concerned. And yet he was the one who had lost everything.

Tetsu's father hadn't lost his home. He was still there, living comfortably in the place that he'd driven Tetsu away from with his cruelty and his abuse. He hadn't lost almost everything he owned. He hadn't lost anything, except a son who had never belonged to him in the first place, whom he did not value and did not deserve.

And so Aomine couldn't stop thinking about how unfair it was.

"Daiki!" his mom yelled from the entryway. "How many times have I told you not to leave your basketball here? It's in the way!"

Aomine considered ignoring her so he could continue his mope-fest, but it was his mom and he couldn't bring himself to be rude to her. Not after last night. He dragged himself to his feet and slumped his way to the entryway, Nigou prancing at his heels in hopes that they were going outside.

"Sorry, Ma," he said. He scooped up the basketball and several other of his possessions that he'd dumped by the door while she flittered around the space like a dusty bird, swiping her cloth at various surfaces.

She tsked at him, but ruffled his hair when he was bent over, bringing his head into easy reach. "You're such a forgetful boy, Daiki. Is it really so hard to just move your things?"

"No." He straightened with a sigh and stretched his shoulders. "I'm just a selfish jerk, sometimes."

"Now, that's not true. Who is that saying such mean things about my boy?"

"No one, Ma. Just me."

"Well, stop it," she scolded, chasing him out of the entryway with a slap on his back. "No one gets to say that about my Daiki."

He grinned reluctantly and started slouching down the hall toward his room. Then he paused, turned back, and leaned around the corner to look at her again. "Hey, Ma... Are you careful when you take your walks in the evening?"

She paused her everlasting dusting to look at him with bent eyebrows. "Well, yes? I suppose."

He nodded. "Okay. Just...continue to be careful. There are crazy drivers out there."

Her eyes softened. "Of course, Dai-chan. Don't you worry."

Aomine gave her a smile, then resumed his journey to his room. He dropped his things beside his bed and plopped down to sit, then leaned back on his hands and stared up at the ceiling. Nigou sniffed around for a few moments, disappointed that a trip outside had not materialized, then flopped over on top of his foot.

Aomine's parents were great. He never really stopped to think about how great they were. He should do that more often.

And he should be more careful about leaving his things lying around. It really wasn't that hard to move them to his room. It wasn't that hard...

Aomine sat up straight. There was something he could do. He could make things just a little less unfair.

Nigou got up and barked at him, sensing a change in the atmosphere. Aomine got out his phone and opened to the contacts list. He was going to need backup on this one. As much to hold him back as to help him in more direct ways, probably.

He paused suddenly, finger hovering over the contact button for the first person he'd chosen. Tetsu didn't want anyone to know about this. He hadn't even been able to tell Aomine directly, but had to have Kagami act as his interpreter. As far as Aomine knew, only the three of them were aware of the situation.

Well, whatever. Aomine could be vague about what was going on. The guy he was calling was going to jump at the chance to do this, no matter what he said. He jammed his thumb down on the call button, swift and reckless, before he could talk himself out of it.

Of course, the call was answered almost immediately.

"Aominecchi! This is a pleasant surprise!"

Aomine winced and held the phone away from his ear at the voice blasting through the speaker. "Hello, Kise," he grumbled. Why had he thought this was a good idea again?

Right, for Tetsu. Aomine would put up with a lot for Tetsu's sake.

"What are you doing on this fine day?" Kise asked. "You want to play some one-on-one?" Excitement surged in his voice. He would no doubt cross half of Tokyo to play one-on-one with Aomine.

It wasn't a bad idea, really. Might help Aomine blow off steam. But first things first.

"Maybe later. I need your help with something."

"Oh."

Aomine could almost hear Kise pulling himself together, responding to the serious tone in Aomine's voice. The light-hearted pretty boy vanished in an instant, replaced with the intense sportsman who fought Aomine at his own level. When Kise spoke again, his voice was solid and sincere.

"What do you need, Aominecchi? I'm glad to help you, whatever it is."

Aomine blew out a breath. "Well, it's not for me. It's for Tetsu."

"Kurokocchi?" Kise's voice became even sharper. "What happened to Kurokocchi? Is something wrong?"

Aomine paused for a moment, the words jamming up in his throat. He had to close his eyes, overwhelmed by just how _much_ was wrong here. He couldn't share it right now. He needed to get Kise's help without betraying Tetsu's confidence. "Tetsu...can't stay at his old home anymore. He's moving in with Kagami. But he left a lot of his things behind, and I want to go get them for him."

"Oh." Kise's voice lightened. "Well...that's odd. But of course I'm happy to come! When? What's the address?"

"I'll text you. And...do you know anyone on your team who might be willing to help out?" The more big, athletic basketball players they had along, the better.

"I'll ask!" Kise said cheerfully. "I'm sure I have some senpai who are bored today."

"Great. I'll see you there."

Aomine disconnected the call and went back to the contacts list. He hesitated to touch the next call button for a while longer. He was just...so...annoying. Even worse than Kise in some ways, just in the complete opposite direction.

He finally hit the button and put the phone to his ear. This time the phone rang a couple of times, but it picked up soon enough. Aomine heard fumbling on the other line, breathing, a voice in the distance.

His eyebrows bent in confusion. "Midorima? Is that you?"

"Nope!" The gleeful voice got further away, then came in again. "Who's this?"

Ah, that was Midorima's voice in the background. He was growling at whoever had the phone to give it back to him. The guy on the phone laughed and refused, and there were noises like he was holding it above his head to keep it out of Midorima's reach.

Of course that wouldn't work, though. Midorima was a tall bastard. More fumbling noises, loud enough that Aomine held the phone away from his ear and scowled at it in confusion. This was giving him a headache. Then a rush of air, and Midorima's voice came on.

"Hello?" He sounded as deadpan as ever, despite the shenanigans that had just been going on.

"Midorima, it's Aomine."

Midorima grunted. "I can read a caller ID. Unlike my idiot teammate." There was a distinct _Hey!_ in the background.

Aomine rubbed his temple. Definitely getting a headache. "I'll get to the point. Are you free to help me out with something today?"

Brief silence. "This is unusual."

"I know. You're in Tokyo, so you're convenient. Sorry to bother you. But it's for Tetsu."

"Mm." The silence was shorter this time. "What is it?"

Aomine gave him the same vague explanation he'd given Kise. He could tell that Midorima was a lot more suspicious and wary. But he agreed readily enough, and volunteered his teammate, Takao, without being asked.

And without asking him. Takao made noises in the background in protest, but quieted down when Midorima turned away from the phone for a second and said, "It's for Kuroko."

"Oh," Takao's voice came through clearly, suddenly serious. "Of course, then."

Aomine raised his eyebrows. He hadn't realized that Tetsu had made such an impression on random members of other teams. Maybe this Takao was special in some way.

Had to be, if he was willingly hanging out with Midorima on their day off.

"Text me the details," Midorima said, and he disconnected before Aomine agreed.

Aomine went back to the contact list. Murasakibara was too far away, and Akashi... No way. Akashi would figure it out immediately, and things would get far, far too complicated. And forget Satsuki. She was not intimidating, for one thing, and she would just keep bothering Aomine until he cracked, and then she would cry. A lot. Aomine didn't want to deal with that.

Of his current teammates, the only one he really liked at all was Ryou. The guy was a good cook and he put up with Aomine stealing from him all the time. But Aomine didn't think he would do well on this task. Aomine did not want _anyone_ apologizing to Kuroko's father. Ever. For any reason. 

Imayoshi, on the other hand... He was by far the most wicked-looking basketball player Aomine had ever met. And he would probably consider coming along just for the fun of it. Aomine decided to text him about it, make it clear that he needed to scare a horrible person for the good of society. If Imayoshi refused, no big deal. He probably wouldn't, though, not with a description like that.

Aomine paused at the contact for Kagami. He didn't think it was a good idea to tell Kagami what he was doing. He would want to come, but he needed to stay with Tetsu, for one thing, and for another, Aomine wasn't sure he would go along with it. Kagami had been really protective about Tetsu's privacy, and he would definitely think that Aomine had invited too many people. He might try to call it off. 

Maybe not. Maybe he would think it was just as good an idea as Aomine did. But better to ask forgiveness than permission, right?

Aomine was pretty sure that there were at least a couple of Seirin members who would be good to have along, but he didn't have their contact info. Satsuki probably did, because her database was terrifying, but he'd already decided not to bring her into this. So that brought it to Aomine, Midorima, Takao, Kise, whoever Kise convinced to come, and probably Imayoshi. 

It might be enough. Now he just had to pick a time that Kuroko's dad was sure to be home. Because there was no point to any of this if he wasn't.


	19. Chapter 19

"More rice porridge?" Kagami leaned over to pick up Kuroko's bowl, frowning when he saw how full it still was. "This is cold. I can heat it up for you."

Kuroko rolled his head to the side and let out an exasperated sigh. If he'd thought Kagami was pushy earlier, it was ten times worse now that Kuroko was sick. Well, kind of sick. It was only a fever. To listen to Kagami, though, you'd think it was a new and virulent strain of plague.

"No more food. I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat." Kagami patted his head as he straightened, then made his way to the kitchen. 

Kuroko groaned and buried his face in the bedding. Kagami didn't know how to take no for an answer. Kuroko hadn't yet regretted asking Kagami to take care of him last night, but he was getting closer. Kagami was taking it very, very seriously.

The blanket fort continued to be home. Kuroko and Kagami had spent pretty much the entire day inside its comfortable walls, steadily working through all of the Studio Ghibli films Kagami had managed to download on his laptop. So far Princess Mononoke was Kagami's proclaimed favorite, though he'd gotten undoubtedly wistful over My Neighbor Totoro, as well. 

Kuroko had wanted to ask him about that, but they'd moved on too quickly and he hadn't had a chance. Did Kagami miss the childhood he hadn't had in Japan? Or had he been remembering the years when he was very small, before his family moved to America? Or did the movie remind him of his time in LA in some way, just the feeling of it, the innocence and wonder of youth?

Before long, Kagami was back with the reheated rice porridge. He settled gracefully into a cross-legged position beside Kuroko, who was still lying face-down in the pillows. He nudged Kuroko's head and settled the bowl in front of his face, nestling it into the bedding so it wouldn't tip. Kagami had gotten a lot more relaxed about spilling food since yesterday morning, saying that they were going to have to wash it all anyway, so it didn't matter.

Kuroko raised his head and wrinkled his nose at the porridge. Kagami had added some fresh grated ginger and sliced green onions on top, too. Now that it was in front of him...it did smell good. Slightly appetizing. He might be able to eat some of it.

Kagami repositioned the laptop and lay down beside him so he could see the screen, too. "What's next? Castle in the Sky?"

Kuroko nodded and gave him a smile. "You'll like this one."

Kagami shrugged. "I've liked them all so far. You were right. You should never skip a Studio Ghibli film."

Kuroko hummed around his mouthful of porridge, content and satisfied. "Told you."

"Yeah, you did."

Kagami liked Castle in the Sky, too. Of course he did. Despite all of the action and beautiful imagery, though, Kuroko felt his eyes getting heavy. He'd been dozing off for short periods all day long. He usually woke to find that Kagami had draped a blanket over him, which he would then kick off. The only real irritation in the day (besides Kagami's pushiness) was Kuroko's inability to find a comfortable temperature. He was either too hot or too cold, constantly. He knew it was the fever, and it would pass eventually, but that didn't stop it from being dreadfully annoying right now.

This time, he drifted back to wakefulness because something had changed. The easy, relaxed atmosphere was clouded, a thread of tension sneaking through. Kuroko's eyes struggled to open, feeling like they'd been pasted shut by the weight of sleep. A heavy blanket covered him, and for once he felt comfortable, not too warm and not too cool, which made it all the more difficult to drag himself back to consciousness.

Kagami...Kagami was talking to someone. His voice was agitated and strident, though he was making efforts to keep the volume low. As Kuroko lay there, listening, struggling for comprehension, his voice receded and then returned. Low vibrations reached Kuroko through the floor. Ah. Kagami was pacing back and forth, talking to someone...

Kuroko forced his eyes open. He could see Kagami through the opening of the blanket fort, walking to and fro with one hand swinging freely and the other holding his phone to his ear. No matter how he wandered, he kept returning to where Kuroko could see him as if drawn by an invisible string. The laptop was closed, the movie paused. Kuroko turned his head sluggishly and tried to make out what Kagami was saying.

"...For the last time, idiot, _no._ You cannot talk to Kuroko. He's sleeping and he looks comfortable for once, so there's no way in hell I'm letting you disturb that... Whatever! Call me a mother hen all you want, I'm not insulted... You are the idiot to crown all idiots, what were you even _thinking_ doing something like this without asking him... No, I'm not mad because you didn't invite me, that's ridiculous... Shut up, dumbass, I'm hanging up on you now..."

"Kagami-kun," Kuroko called, his voice thick with sleep and confusion. The pacing stopped. Kagami's voice halted. 

After a moment of hesitation, he slowly moved back toward the opening and crouched down. His eyes were wide and guilty. He still held the phone to his ear, and Kuroko could hear the voice coming through on the other end, muffled and tinny.

"Kagami? Are you there? Did you hang up? It doesn't sound like you hung up..."

Aomine. Kuroko blinked, hard, still trying to escape the shackles of slumber. He freed one hand from his blanket and held it out for the phone. "I'm awake. I'll talk to him."

Kagami shook his head, his mouth set in disapproval. "I don't think you should. I think _Aomine..._ " He growled this into the phone. "...is being an idiot and should let you rest."

Kuroko gave him a dull stare. "I'm awake now. I won't be able to sleep again until this is dealt with. May I please have the phone?"

Kagami huffed a breath in irritation, but he put the phone in Kuroko's hand and sat down beside him, eyebrows lowering. He clearly intended to sit there and listen to every word. Kagami's pushiness today was not limited to food, then.

Kuroko turned his attention to the phone. "Aomine-kun? Is something wrong with Nigou?" It was the only reason he could think of for Aomine to be so insistent on talking to him.

"What? No, of course not." Aomine sounded so confused by the idea that Kuroko immediately relaxed. "He's fine. He wanted to come with me, but I wouldn't let him."

Come with him...? Kuroko became aware of noises in the background of the call, voices and thumps and bangs. He thought he recognized some of the voices, but it was so unexpected and he was still so befuddled with sleep and fever that he couldn't quite place them. They sounded upset, though...

"That's not why I called," Aomine said before he could ask. "I'm really am sorry, Tetsu, I know you need your rest and I'm interrupting, and I think I made a mistake. But I have to ask now, because I'm never coming back here again."

Wait, what? Kuroko blinked, feeling himself wake up a little more. What was going on here? "Never...coming back?" he echoed in bewilderment.

Aomine drew a deep breath, then plunged on. "There's a picture on the wall. Outside the main room, in the hallway. Of you and your parents. It was the only picture I could find of your mom, but your dad is in it, too. Do you want it?"

Kuroko went still. His mind was a complete blank. 

"Tetsu? Do you want it? I'll get it for you if you do."

"Yes," he breathed. He could barely hear himself. His head was buzzing as if it was full of summer cicadas. "Yes, I want it."

"Then I'll get it for you. I'll bring it to you. It's yours."

"Okay." The phone sank toward the pillow beneath his head, too heavy for Kuroko to hold it up anymore. 

Kagami snagged it gently from his fingers. His eyes were trained on Kuroko's face, watching him with intense concern. Kuroko blinked at him. He didn't have anything to say.

There were people in his house. His old house, the one that didn't belong to him anymore. He'd heard their voices behind Aomine. They had sounded angry and upset. Kise, Midorima. Others, too. How many?

How many people knew?

Ever since that awful night when Kagami found out, Kuroko felt that the world was split into two distinct groups of people. There were the people who knew, and the people who didn't. Kagami was the first to know, and that was almost okay. It was pretty much inevitable, really, when Kuroko stopped to think about it. They spent too much time together, and Kagami cared too much about him not to notice that something was going on, no matter how carefully Kuroko tried to hide it. And he had. Oh, he had tried very hard.

So Kagami found out, and that was almost all right, because Kagami understood that he didn't want anyone to know. He was careful to respect Kuroko's wishes, his desire for privacy, his attempts to avoid troubling anyone else with his affairs. If Kuroko had to choose any single person in the world who would have to know, Kagami was the one.

Then the team found out, and that was Kuroko's fault, so he had to accept it. Most of them didn't know the details, at least, and the three who did were trustworthy and reliable. Their immense kindness in that moment—apologizing for things that were none of their fault, for pity's sake—had convinced him that it was okay for them to know. He could trust them with this great shame.

And Aomine... Kuroko couldn't avoid Aomine knowing. Once Aomine grabbed hold of something, he couldn't let it go. 

But it had still been a relief to know that there were a lot of people in Kuroko's life who had no idea. His teachers, his classmates, strangers on the street... None of them needed to know how weak he was, how foolish and lost. How his family had slipped through his fingers and he couldn't go home anymore, could never go back again. 

Kuroko's life had fallen down around his ears, but at least not everyone _knew._ He could pretend the walls were still standing. He could hold his head up and look straight ahead.

But now what? How many? How many people?

Kagami's eyes were still on him, watching carefully, though he held the phone to his ear. His lips moved, but Kuroko couldn't hear what he was saying. The buzzing drowned him out. Kagami finished the conversation and set the phone aside, then reached out and placed his big hand over the top of Kuroko's head.

"Kuroko?" The word traveled to him as if echoing down a long tunnel. "Kuroko? Are you okay?"

Kuroko blinked and shifted his head, but did not try to escape Kagami's touch. The buzz was fading away, slowly, slowly. Kagami was an anchor preventing him from drifting off into the discordance.

Kagami patted his head, ever so gently. "They're going to come over in a little while. They're bringing your things from your old house. Aomine just wanted you to have your belongings, that's all. He's an idiot, but he didn't mean any harm."

Kuroko nodded, slow and sluggish. He knew that. Aomine never meant any harm. Sometimes he hurt Kuroko anyway, but he never meant to.

"How...many?" Kuroko asked. Kagami had to know. He had to be able to tell him.

Kagami blinked. "How many...things?"

"No. How many...people?"

"Oh." Kagami settled back, his hand sliding away from Kuroko's head. "I'm not sure. I think he asked some of your old teammates to help."

Kuroko nodded. He stared at his hands, curled loosely on the pillow in front of his face. They were empty.

"Is that too much?" Kagami asked. "Should I tell them not to come in when they get here? They can just drop off your things and leave."

Kuroko shook his head. It almost didn't matter. They knew. What did it matter if they saw even more? "It's all right. They can come in."

"Okay." Kagami fell silent, just sitting there and watching him. Kuroko couldn't meet his eyes again, not even for a second. 

"Do you want to finish the movie?" Kagami asked after a while.

Kuroko tucked his chin back under the blanket and drew his hands against his chest. "No, thank you. I want to go back to sleep."

"Yeah. You looked really comfortable. For a while."

Kuroko closed his eyes. If he could sleep, he could forget about everything. It would be so nice to forget, even if it was only for a short time.

After a little while, he felt Kagami lie down next to him, close enough that Kuroko could feel his presence but not so close as to intrude. The sound of Kagami's breathing filled the space, strong and smooth. It was...pleasant.

Kuroko didn't want to be alone. He was glad Kagami had remembered that.

But he didn't sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend [haikyuusetters](http://haikyuusetters.tumblr.com/post/117741963213/he-was-wrapped-in-so-many-covers-that-he-looked) made some absolutely _adorable_ art of [Kuroko looking like a dumpling](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/117743202816/haikyuusetters-he-was-wrapped-in-so-many). Please let it soothe your heart.

Midorima Shintarou knew something was off from the beginning. Since when did Aomine call him for favors? Why had he been so vague and secretive? And why did Kuroko even need their help to move his things? If his family was moving, surely his parents would have made arrangements. Midorima had agreed to come out of curiosity as much as out of any desire to assist. He'd said that Takao was coming because Takao would come whether he was invited or not, just like he pushed his way into pretty much every other aspect of Midorima's life.

The group that met on the street outside Kuroko's apartment building was even odder than Midorima had expected. Kise and his senpai, Kasamatsu, weren't much of a surprise, because Kise would jump at anything Aomine asked him to do. Midorima didn't know Kasamatsu well, but he suspected that he was Kise's unofficial babysitter. 

But Aomine's former captain had come, too. Midorima never would have guessed. Imayoshi smiled at them all indiscriminately, looking somehow sinister with his eyes almost shut behind his glasses. 

Aomine looked uncomfortable, scowling around at all of them as if he hadn't been the one to gather them together in the first place. Aomine was an amazing basketball player, but he had no leadership skills whatsoever. Midorima was shocked all over again that the guy had taken the initiative to do something like this. 

It was Imayoshi who broached the subject on everyone's minds. He leaned his shoulder suddenly into Aomine's, knocking him off-balance, and just grinned when Aomine spread his stance to compensate and turned a glare on him. "Time for you to explain, my precious kouhai," he said lazily. "We're all very eager to know what exactly is going on here. You told me that my skills would be necessary in order to intimidate a bad person for the sake of Japan. You cannot make such a grand statement without explaining yourself."

Aomine looked nauseated. But he straightened his body and raised his chin, his eyes hard. "I can't tell you the details," he said to all of them. "But it should be enough for you to know that Tetsu's father is worthless, and he can't live with him anymore. The guy might try to prevent us from doing what we came to do, and we can't have that. But all we need to do is get in there, pack up Tetsu's things, and get them out. Is that enough to be going on with?"

Most of them looked thoughtful. Imayoshi and Kasamatsu nodded. Kise, though, was wide-eyed with dismay. "Is Kurokocchi's father in the Yakuza or something?"

Aomine grit his teeth. "I told you I can't give you the details. Please respect Tetsu's privacy. I just need your help for an hour or two, and then you can go back to your fun Sunday activities."

Kise did not look satisfied. But Kasamatsu smacked his shoulder with a warning look, and Kise subsided, giving in. Midorima shared a look with Takao. Neither of them were satisfied, either. But they would go along with Aomine for now.

Aomine led the way onto the elevator and down the hallway to the correct door. There, Imayoshi shouldered his way to the front of the group and stood next to Aomine as he knocked. Imayoshi was all but bouncing on his toes, eager to fulfill the role he'd been summoned for. 

After a minute or two, they heard noises behind the door. Fumbling with the lock, a low complaint in a rough voice. Midorima felt himself tense all over. What kind of man was Kuroko Tetsuya's father?

The door opened and a haggard face appeared. Midorima deflated slightly, his shoulders loosening. This man was shorter than any of them, though still taller than his son. He was slight and hunched, dark bags under his tired eyes, his hair in disarray.

He stared at them rudely. "Who are you?"

Aomine stepped into his line of sight. "Kuroko-san, it's Aomine Daiki. Tetsu's friend, remember? We've met once or twice."

The man looked him up and down, his eyes dismissive. "Oh, you. Why are you here? Tetsuya isn't home."

Aomine's hands clenched into fists, visibly trembling. Kasamatsu's sharp eyes missed nothing. His hand shot forward from the back of the group and grabbed Aomine's arm, preventing him from doing something he would regret.

Aomine drew a shaky breath and offered Kuroko's father a pained smile. "We know he isn't home. We came to fetch his things for him."

The man pulled his head back, his lips twisting into a snarl. "Like hell I would ever..."

"Kuroko-saaaaaan!" Imayoshi launched himself forward and wrapped an arm around the man's shoulders to drag him into the apartment. "Kuroko-san, your breath is so fragrant! Please come and share allllll your secrets with me! You must show me the marvels of your liquor cabinet!"

"What... What the hell...!" Kuroko's father struggled to escape that iron grip, but Imayoshi's arm only tightened. 

Imayoshi hauled the man past the entryway and into the apartment proper, chattering cheerfully all the while, asking him what he'd been up to and demanding he share his treasures. Kuroko's father growled and huffed and fought him, but was completely overwhelmed by Imayoshi's strength and force of personality. Imayoshi looked back over his shoulder and beckoned for the others to come in and complete their business while he controlled the problem.

Aomine didn't need a second invitation. He kicked off his shoes in the entryway with no heed for propriety, and led the way straight as an arrow to Kuroko's room. Midorima took only slightly longer to remove his shoes, separating them fastidiously from the others'. His long legs carried him swiftly after Aomine, though he looked around as he went, trying to take in the details of Kuroko's home.

It was...rather an austere place. And the atmosphere was strangely heavy. Midorima found that he didn't like it much.

It was not a place of good fortune.

Aomine halted in the doorway of Kuroko's room so suddenly that Kise ran straight into him with a squeak and bounced off. Kasamatsu caught him and pushed him upright with one hand. Aomine turned around to face them, his cheeks flushing dark red. "I...forgot to bring boxes."

Midorima rolled his eyes. "How completely unexpected," he said. He held up the package he was carrying under his arm and prompted Takao to do the same. "It's a good thing you asked me to come."

Aomine's face lightened in relief, though his eyes remained serious. He gave Midorima something like a respectful nod. "Yeah, it is."

Midorima blinked. Aomine had sounded completely sincere. After a moment to absorb this, he tipped his chin toward the room. "Shall we get started, then?"

Aomine nodded and moved into the room, and the others fanned out behind him. Midorima knelt in the middle of the floor and started assembling the flat-pack boxes he and Takao had brought, but his eyes kept straying, looking around and taking it in. At first glance Kuroko's room seemed ordinary, like that of any other high school boy obsessed with a singular sport. But the more he looked, the more he noticed things that were...off.

The posters on the walls were of basketball players, naturally enough. Stars from both America and Japan were displayed with equal prominence. They were placed with a precision and attention to detail that suited Kuroko's careful nature. But one of them had been ripped in half, as if someone had tried to tear it off the wall with their fingernails. The pieces of the broken poster still hung on the wall from the corners where they'd been taped. 

Why would Kuroko leave something like that? It didn't seem like him. If one of his posters was damaged by accident, surely he would replace it at once. And he most certainly wouldn't leave the pieces hanging on the wall. 

Had it happened after he left? Had his "worthless" father come in here and destroyed a poster for some reason? It defied common sense.

Was Kuroko's father not only an uncouth drunkard? Was he also violent?

Kise and Kasamatsu took one of the assembled boxes over to Kuroko's bookshelf and started stacking books neatly inside it. Midorima watched them for a moment, saw how one shelf of books was perfectly organized, every book in its place, sorted by author and title. Another shelf of books had been swept onto the floor and lay in an unruly pile, some of them with pages bent and spines cracked.

There were marks on the wall where the surface should have been pristine. Smudges. Gouges. None bigger than a human fist.

Aomine stood by Kuroko's dresser. He had started to pull clothes out of one of the drawers, but now he was standing, staring at the articles on top of the dresser. Normal things, for the most part, a brush, a hand mirror, a phone charger. And some bottles. Midorima could read them from here. Antiseptic. Salonpas spray. A packet of Eve A ibuprofen, almost empty.

"Shin-chan..."

Midorima looked to the side. Takao stood next to him. His face was paper-white. He was holding the trash receptacle that had been in a corner of the room. The rim was held loosely in his fingers, drooping dangerously and about to fall, as if he had lost feeling in his hands. 

Midorima looked inside. There was a small pile of white and brownish-red...things...in the bottom. Slowly, carefully, he reached inside and pulled one out. It was a gauze bandage, stained with dried blood.

Why was Kuroko keeping antiseptic and painkillers on his dresser. Why had someone taken violent hands to his room, to the possessions he tended so carefully. Why wouldn't Aomine speak more clearly about the difficulties here.

Midorima dropped the bandage back into the trash can. Slowly, carefully, he stood. Every joint in his body had begun to ache, his knees, his shoulders, every knuckle in his fingers. He was sixteen, and he felt like an old man. He walked over to the closet and slid the door open. The normal items were there, uniform shirts and jackets, trousers, casual clothes for days off. Some hangers stood empty—Kuroko had taken a few clothes when he left. Most notably, his Seirin jersey was missing. 

Of course. Of course Kuroko wouldn't want to leave his jersey here. Whether or not he knew that he was never coming back, he wouldn't have been able to leave the most precious thing he owned in this place.

Midorima shoved the shirts and trousers aside, one by one, pushing the hangers toward the middle of the closet. He didn't know what he was looking for until he found it, but somehow, he already knew it was there. And yes, there it was. There it was. Hanging on a hook on the wall. A strap that might have been a belt once, but the holes were ripped, and the edges of the leather were cracked and worn. It was thick and heavy and long, not at all suitable for Kuroko to wear. The buckle was massive, and the metal edges of it were sharp.

Midorima took it down and held it in his hands. This strap had seen a lot of use. He pulled the length of it through his fingers. There, yes, almost hidden against the dark brown of the leather. Reddish-brown stains. Midorima's finger paused, pressing hard against one ugly blotch. His vision was beginning to gray out at the edges.

That uncouth, violent man hadn't even seen fit to cleanse his instrument of torture. And he chose to leave it in Kuroko's room, where it must remind Kuroko every day of the agony he must endure whenever his father was in the mood to punish him. Hidden in his closet, where no casual visitor would see it, but still there. Right there. Always there.

"Shin-chan..." Takao's voice was small and thin. He was standing at Midorima's elbow, looking at the thing he held. He was trembling, on the edge of tears.

Midorima looked at him. Then he looked at Aomine, who stood by the dresser, stock-still and staring at him with his expression frozen in anguish. Kise and Kasamatsu were still working on the books and hadn't noticed yet.

"This..." Midorima said. His hand had begun to shake. He stared down at the strap he held, and his fingers closed around it, white tape standing out against the dark brown, the dark red. "This..."

"Yeah," Aomine's voice was choked and almost inaudible. "I know."

"Midorimacchi?" Kise had noticed. His voice sounded far away. Scared. Young. So very, very young.

Midorima turned to face him, the strap held out in his hands like an offering to a terrible god. Kasamatsu blinked, his mouth dropping open. "What... What is that..."

Midorima walked over to them, slow and careful. He placed the strap in Kise's hands. Then he turned and walked out of the room.

"Shin-chan... Shin-chan... Shin-chan!" Takao was at his heels. Every repetition of his name was more and more worried. Midorima kept walking. He steps quickened as he went, faster and faster, until he was almost moving at a run.

Imayoshi was still talking to Kuroko's father, his arm wrapped heavily around his shoulder as he leaned over him, keeping him pinned in place. He heard Midorima approaching and looked up, his glasses glinting. He didn't even twitch when Midorima seized his captive's collar and pulled the man toward himself, just let go and allowed Midorima to drag him stumbling over the floor.

"How many times?" Midorima asked through gritted teeth. They were so close that he could see the dull shine of the monster's eyes, looking up at him with the distant stirrings of something like fear buried in the depths of his hungover brain. "How many times, you bastard? _How many times?"_

Kuroko's father blinked and rubbed a finger under his nose. "How many times what?" he asked.

"How many times did you beat him? How many times did you torment him with that strap? How many times did you make him bleed?"

The man's eyes slid away, and a sneer curled his lip. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. I know you do." Midorima shook him, desperate to elicit some response. Desperate to make this creature feel even the tiniest portion of the rage and grief that gnawed at his gut and burned his heart. Kuroko's father accepted the rough handling, flopping around like a rag doll in Midorima's hands.

Midorima's fingers tightened on his shirt. He shouldn't punch him. He shouldn't. It would be bad for his fingers. 

"How many times?" he asked again. "How many times did you make him suffer and weep tears of pain? How many times did you ignore him when he begged you to stop? How many times did you listen to him plead for mercy, then give him none? HOW. MANY. _TIMES."_

"I still don't know what you're talking about. Nothing like that ever happened in this house. My son is a good boy. I wouldn't hurt him. You're talking nonsense, you idiot child, and if you don't let go of me, I'm going to call the police."

"Shin-chan, Shin-chan!" Takao was hauling on his elbow, his fingers so tight that the grip was beginning to hurt. Midorima held on to the man for a moment longer, his entire body shaking with pent-up fury, then abruptly let go. He spun away and stood with his head down, panting. Takao held his arm and just kept saying his name, soothingly now, trying to help him calm down.

He looked up and saw Kise and Kasamatsu. Kise was crying, and it was ugly. It was the worst thing Midorima had ever seen. His female fans would be shocked. He could lose his modeling contract over a face like that. Kasamatsu had his arm wrapped around him, holding him up as his knees shook and wavered, but he didn't look much better. 

Midorima turned back to Kuroko's father. He stood between Aomine and Imayoshi, who were careful not to touch him. That sneer still painted his lips, long and thin and disgusting. He was pleased with himself. _Pleased._ Midorima could barely stand it.

"How many times?" he echoed, his voice high and whining, mocking Midorima's pain. "How many times, _how many times?_ What a stupid little boy you are. What stupid little boys you _all_ are. As if I could keep track."

Midorima hauled off and punched him in the face as hard as he could.

Midorima spent a lot of time working on his arms, his hands. Strength-training for his biceps, flexibility for his forearms, accuracy for his fingertips. His arms had to be fine-tuned to the point of impossibility to let him make the kind of shots he routinely did, hefting that heavy basketball the length of the court to thread the hoop with a surgeon's precision.

So it was a very, very good punch. Every single second of work and effort and time he had ever put into his hands was absolutely, completely, and totally worth it.


	21. Chapter 21

Kagami knew Kuroko wasn't asleep. He wasn't surprised when Kuroko abruptly gave up the attempt and sat up, throwing off the blanket. His cheeks were still flushed, his eyes a little vague and unfocused. The fever was still throwing him off balance, but he was too agitated to rest anymore.

Damn Aomine, anyway. What had he been thinking, pulling a stunt like that? And then to be dumb enough to call and tell Kuroko all about it, couldn't even let him have a single day off from dealing with all of this awfulness....

But it was done. They just had to accept this mess and cope with it as best they could.

Kagami sat up, too. He sat cross-legged on the futon and faced Kuroko, though Kuroko did not meet his eyes, choosing to stare at nothing instead. Kagami didn't bother asking Kuroko if he was all right. The answer was obvious.

"Do you want to talk?" he asked.

Kuroko shook his head, almost absently, and rubbed his hands over his face. "When do you think they'll get here?"

Kagami considered. The call with Aomine had been about fifteen minutes ago. It had sounded like they were all working quickly, and the train ride from there to here was pretty short. "Probably not too long from now."

Kuroko drew a deep breath. "You should...make food. They'll be hungry after all that work."

Kagami blinked. The idea hadn't even occurred to him. "Are you sure you want them all to come in and stay for a meal?" He'd been under the impression that Kuroko would want as little contact as possible with however many people had suddenly been thrust into his affairs.

"It's only right," Kuroko said, but his voice was dull and dispirited. "They thought they were doing a favor for me. They didn't know..."

They didn't know that Aomine was acting outside of Kuroko's wishes. They didn't know what kind of mess they were getting into. They didn't know...what they would find there in that apartment.

Kagami had heard the voices in the background of the call, just as Kuroko must have. He'd recognized Kise immediately. The guy had sounded almost hysterical. More surprising had been Midorima's voice, grinding with anger. The noises had made it clear that everyone was working very hard to finish their business and get out of that toxic place as quickly as they possibly could. Kagami didn't blame them at all.

Put that way, it really did seem like the least Kagami could do was make a meal for them. They all deserved an apology, and Aomine was not suited to offer one. It was not Kuroko's responsibility to offer amends, but of course he didn't see it that way. So it was up to Kagami to support him, then.

"All right." Kagami shifted outside the fort and pushed himself to his feet. "I have chicken and vegetables. I'll make curry."

"Thank you."

"It's nothing." Kagami moved to the kitchen and started pulling out pans. He didn't turn on his music to accompany him. He didn't feel like singing.

Kagami started measuring rice into the cooker. How many should he prepare for? He had heard three or four voices on the call, but there could have been others who didn't speak. Well, he would just make his biggest pot. Leftovers were never a problem for him. He should make some fresh porridge for Kuroko while he was at it, too. There was a limit to the number of times he was willing to reheat the same bowl of food. 

Kagami fell into the routine easily, chopping, stirring, heating, tasting. He was glad for the familiarity of the task. It helped him refocus, find his center again. 

As stupidly as Aomine had gone about it, bringing Kuroko's belongings to him was not a bad idea. Hopefully it would help Kuroko settle in and start to see this place as his home, instead of just Kagami's. They should talk about what kinds of things Kuroko needed in his room, like more or different furnishings. Kagami knew that Kuroko liked to read. Maybe he would want some bookshelves. Kagami didn't think he had a single bookshelf in the entire apartment besides the one over his desk.

A soft thump in the main room broke Kagami out of his thoughts. He turned away from the stove and craned his head to see what was going on. Kuroko stood by the partially disassembled fort. He'd already made a neat stack of folded blankets and was now moving the textbooks off the chairs and piling them near the door to the hallway.

"Oh." Kagami let out a breath, inexplicably sad. He made sure the pot was on a good simmer, then wandered out to the main room to join him.

"Hey, Kuroko. You got tired of the fort?"

Kuroko shook his head. His eyes were down, focused on his task. "No. But it's time to get ready. People are coming over. We have to go to school tomorrow. We can't stay in the blanket fort forever."

"Hnh. I guess not." Kagami nudged one of the chairs with his toe. It was silly, maybe, but he'd really enjoyed that thing. He knew Kuroko had liked it, too. It had been like a safe little cocoon where they could hide and forget about the troubles beyond its soft, fuzzy walls. He also credited the blanket fort with a good portion of the sense of comfort and warmth that had enabled Kuroko to talk about his past.

"But thank you for making it." Kuroko paused to look up Kagami and give him a smile, warm and genuine, reaching his eyes. "You have a talent for making me feel welcome every time I come here."

"That's because you are welcome," Kagami said. "Forever. I thought I made that clear last night."

Kuroko nodded solemnly. "You did. But I don't mind hearing it again."

Kagami snorted and ruffled his hair. "You can just leave the books there. I'll move them to my room later. Don't work too hard—you still have a fever."

Kuroko nodded, and Kagami went back to the kitchen. Everything was pretty much ready, but it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on it. And somehow he didn't want to help Kuroko tear down the fort. 

When the doorbell rang, the quiet noises from Kuroko in the other room ceased. Kagami cast a glance his way as he moved toward the door and saw Kuroko standing frozen in the middle of the room with an armful of pillows. Almost everything had been cleaned up, the central table moved back to the middle of the room in preparation for the meal. Kagami held up a hand, gesturing for Kuroko to remain where he was, and went to let them in.

There were six of them, each holding a box or two. Midorima, of all people, stood in the front of the pack. His expression was the grimmest Kagami had ever seen it, and Midorima was always pretty grim. "Please accept these boring gifts," he recited the traditional phrase, nodding toward the box in his hands, as if this was just another social call.

It was...kind of a joke. From Midorima. A dour, grim-faced Midorima. Kagami blinked and raised his eyebrows, then stepped back to make room for them. "Come in, then."

He took the box from Midorima and set it down just past the entryway so Midorima could take off his jacket and shoes. He took the boxes from the rest of them, too: Aomine, Takao, Kise, Kasamatsu, and Imayoshi. What a strange group of people. They were all quiet and subdued, even Kise. Kise might have been the worst, come to think of it. His eyes were puffy and red, as if he'd been crying for hours.

Takao's hands were shaking.

What had they seen? What had Kuroko's father said to them? Kagami dreaded to ask.

Midorima stood there, waiting patiently, while everyone filed inside. When Kagami looked at him again, he raised his chin, just a fraction. "Where is Kuroko?"

"I'm here," came the quiet voice. Kuroko stood at the door to the main room, watching the proceedings with large eyes. No one had noticed him. Of course they didn't. He didn't want them to.

"Kuroko." Midorima strode toward him, long legs eating up the distance. Kuroko tensed and pressed his shoulder against the side of the door, but it seemed like an instinctive response, not like he was really afraid of Midorima. Midorima reached him in three long strides and took Kuroko's shoulders in his hands. He looked him up and down, almost desperately, before his eyes settled on Kuroko's face.

Midorima frowned. "Your cheeks are flushed. You have a fever."

Kuroko nodded. "Don't worry. I'm all right."

"You aren't." Midorima continued to stare searchingly into his face. "Your lucky item for today is an eraser shaped like a maki roll. Do you have one? If not, I'll get you one."

"That's really not necessary," Kuroko murmured.

"I'll get one for you anyway."

Kuroko smiled, small and trembling. "I'm already very fortunate, Midorima-kun. I'm here."

Midorima paused, his head tilting to one side. "Yes. I suppose that's true."

He seemed to notice, at last, that he was making Kuroko uncomfortable. He stepped back and let go of him, his hands sliding reluctantly away from Kuroko's shoulders. But now Kuroko's eyes flashed and his breath caught, and he reached out to grab Midorima's left wrist before it fell out of reach. 

Midorima's hand was bandaged. Not just the usual white tape wrapped around his fingers—he wore a thick gauze bandage covering reddened knuckles. Kuroko stared at it without blinking.

"Midorima-kun... What happened?"

Midorima said nothing. He looked back at Kuroko with his lips pressed into a straight line. He didn't look guilty, the way Kagami or Aomine would have looked in the same situation. He wasn't ashamed of what he'd done. He just didn't want to be the one to say it.

It was Takao who stepped up, offering Kuroko a shaky smile over Midorima's shoulder. "Shin-chan punched him."

Kuroko blinked. Then his eyes widened, and he stared at Midorima. "You..."

Midorima nodded.

Aomine pushed forward, too. His hands were jammed deep into his pockets, and his face was pale. He looked like he wanted to vomit. "If he hadn't done it, someone else would have. Midorima just happened to be the closest. I'm sorry, Tetsu. But what he said... It was unforgivable."

Takao nodded. So did Kise and Kasamatsu. Kuroko looked around at all of them, his face blank, but his wide eyes gave him away. "What...what did he say?"

Aomine grimaced. "I don't want to repeat it. Like I said, it was unforgivable."

Kagami felt himself tense all over. If even Aomine thought it was that bad...

Kuroko stared back at him without blinking. "I'm sure I've heard worse."

They all went still and silent. No one even seemed to breathe. 

Midorima broke it. His hand shivered in Kuroko's grip, fingers flexing as if he longed to relive that punch again. "I found the strap in your closet. I asked him how many times he'd beaten you. And he said, 'As if I could keep track.'"

Kagami's vision went red. When he came back to himself, Kasamatsu had grabbed his arms and pushed him against the wall, preventing him from doing anything rash. Kagami was shaking all over and his throat was raw, as if he had screamed. He couldn't remember doing it.

"That bastard!" he yelled, spittle flying into Kasamatsu's face. "That _bastard!"_

Kasamatsu nodded, his jaw set hard and tight. "I know," he said, the words a low growl. "We all know."

Kagami's eyes sought Kuroko across the room. Kuroko had shrunk against the doorway again, and Midorima and Takao had stepped in front of him, as if they were shielding him. Kagami knew it must have been automatic, an instinct. No one there believed that Kagami would hurt Kuroko. Kagami would have reacted the same to anyone else having a sudden fit of uncontrollable rage. It didn't bother him that Midorima had, too.

If anything, the sight soothed him. Even Midorima cared enough about Kuroko to put himself physically in the way of any harm that could come to him. This room was full of people like that. Kagami began to calm down, the shaking easing its way out of his limbs.

And then...

"I don't understand." Kuroko's voice was small and clear. "Why is that unforgivable?"

Kise gasped. Midorima turned to stare at him. Takao's mouth dropped open. Kuroko just blinked at them, completely without comprehension. For a moment, no one could speak.

"Kuroko..." Midorima's voice was slow and careful, as if he was talking to an injured animal. "Not only did he admit that he abused you, but he did so with no remorse, with complete contempt for the suffering he caused you. He showed himself to be an utter monster who cares nothing for the feelings of others. He disregarded not only your pain, but ours as well. It was as if...you aren't even human to him."

"Well, I'm not," Kuroko said calmly. "He only told the truth. Why would he keep track?"

The anger that had been burning in Kagami's body like a hot red star suddenly collapsed into a black hole of emptiness and despair in his gut. Kuroko didn't understand. He didn't understand at _all._ He was simply incapable of understanding just how awful this was.

As Kagami slumped against the wall, his breath leaving his body in a long sough of resignation, Kasamatsu's grip on his arms loosened. He straightened, still facing Kagami, his expression fiercely worried. Kagami didn't know how to take it. Now senpai from other teams were trying to look after him, too. He couldn't even tell this one to go grocery shopping.

All of the overwrought emotion had been sucked out of the room, leaving only sadness. Everyone looked so...tired. Kuroko stared around at them, faintly concerned by their behavior, still entirely confused. Kagami didn't know how to fix this. It was like standing at the edge of an enormous canyon and wondering if the crack could be plastered over with some paper and glue.

What were they supposed to do? It was so quiet and still that Kagami could hear the pot bubbling in the kitchen.

Kagami pushed himself away from the wall, shaking off Kasamatsu's hands. Kasamatsu stood back and let him, and Kagami looked around at the group. "There's...curry," he said. "I made a lot, plenty for everyone. Please come in and eat."

No one seemed opposed to the idea. They were all in desperate need of refreshment.

Except Imayoshi. He stepped forward and offered Kagami a smile. "Thank you, but no. I think I would be best off getting home." 

Kasamatsu made a move as if he should slip out, too, but Kise seized his sleeve and stared at him with enormous eyes, still ringed with red. "Please stay, senpai," he whispered, and Kasamatsu hesitated for a bare moment, then nodded.

Imayoshi watched this with a sideways smile, then turned to Aomine and gave him a small, slightly sardonic bow. "Thank you for the opportunity you gave me, my precious kouhai. It was indeed the best use of my skills I could have imagined."

Then, he looked to Kuroko. "Ah, Kuroko-kun... We don't know each other well, but after today, I must say that I truly cannot decide whether you are the least fortunate or the most fortunate person I've ever met."

Kuroko blinked at him. So did everyone else.

Again, that little twisted smile played on Imayoshi's lips. "Truly, you have suffered pain and cruelties I wouldn't wish on the worst monsters in the world, never mind a teenage boy who only wants to play basketball. And yet here you stand, surrounded by people who would all trade their right arms for the opportunity to go back in time and spare you even a portion of that suffering. So as I said, most fortunate or least fortunate? It is truly a question for the ages."

Kagami, Aomine, Midorima, and Kise all looked at each other. None of them made any sign to dispute that bold assertion. Kuroko stood still as a statue, unable to take it in.

Imayoshi made his way to the door, slipped on his shoes and jacket, then turned back and looked at Kuroko again. "And a question you might wish to consider, Kuroko-kun... If any of these precious friends of yours came and told you the story that belongs to you, if any of them had been mistreated the way you have been mistreated... Would you still think it was normal for a son to be so used by his father? Or would you learn that story with the same rage and grief and pain as your friends have learned yours?"

Kuroko paled. He leaned more heavily against the wall, and Midorima's hand shot out to catch his shoulder and hold him up.

Imayoshi smiled, and this one was not sarcastic at all. It was small and sad and compassionate. "It's not quite as easy to forgive as you thought it was, is it?" he asked gently.

Then he took his leave.


	22. Chapter 22

Kuroko was quiet while everyone ate. He had tried to sit at the end of the table, or even removed from it entirely, since the curry had no appeal for him and he didn't want to intrude. But Midorima and Kise had worked together to box him in, and he ended up sitting between them with his bowl of porridge. He kept his eyes on his food, unable to look anyone in the face. 

People were talking, but he couldn't hear the words. The majority of his attention was focused inward on the strange shifts and movements he could feel inside his chest. He felt like his inner self was a continent that had suddenly broken up into pieces, and now they were all thudding against each other and seeking a place to settle. It was painful and distracting, but it also seemed necessary. He needed to sort this out. He needed to understand.

How could he have been so selfish? He had never stopped to consider how his friends must feel about this situation. How it must look from their point of view. How it must wound them deep inside. 

Kuroko had known, of course, that Kagami and the others cared about him. He had wanted to spare Kagami the distress of worrying about him unnecessarily, which was one reason he had tried to conceal his difficulties in the beginning. But this was different. This was much worse.

With one question, Imayoshi had tilted Kuroko's world on its side.

_Would you still think it was normal for a son to be so used by his father?_

No. No, Kuroko would not think it was normal. If it was Kagami, or Aomine, or Kise, or...or anyone else. The thought was unbearable, unthinkable. Even with the same mitigating factors, even with a father who was ill, or not himself, or deluded... No. No, it could not be borne.

Kuroko felt hot all over, prickly and uncomfortable. His head spun, and he could not stand to eat another bite of food, not even inoffensive, easy-to-digest rice porridge. He suddenly felt closed in and surrounded by too many people in too close a space. 

Kuroko set his spoon down beside his bowl with a clink and stood up, only swaying slightly where he stood. "I...I need some air."

Kagami looked up at him from the other side of the table, his mouth still full of curry. He looked worried, but not like he would try to stop Kuroko. "The balcony is right behind you," he said.

Kuroko nodded and turned to go, then almost ran into Kise, who had stood up next to him. Kise reached out and touched his shoulder as he swayed, keeping him upright, then pulled back when Kuroko steadied. Kise's face was apologetic, but somehow determined. "Is it... Is it all right if I come with you?"

Kuroko nodded. He didn't feel like he could refuse any of his friends anything right now. They had all suffered today because of him. He was only now beginning to understand that.

They moved out onto the balcony. It was early evening, the sun still hovering above the horizon in a bath of warm yellow light, but the air was cool. It felt good on Kuroko's over-warm face, and a breeze combed through his hair with gentle fingers. He grabbed the railing with both hands and leaned into it, grateful for the immovable support.

Kise looked with him over the cityscape. He leaned against the railing, too, even more heavily than Kuroko did, as if he couldn't quite hold himself upright anymore. Kuroko glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and couldn't help noticing how he stood hunched over, as if he was in pain.

Kuroko wanted to apologize, but he didn't know what to say. He had a feeling that Kise wouldn't accept it, anyway. Kagami never did. If anything, Kagami had seemed even more pained when Kuroko tried to apologize for the trouble he was causing him. He didn't want to cause Kise more distress.

"Kurokocchi..."

Kuroko looked up and found Kise watching him frankly, his head turned toward him while his body still leaned on the rail.

"Are you in pain, Kurokocchi? Please be honest with me."

Kuroko looked forward again, his cheeks flushing with more than fever. He supposed he deserved that. He had concealed the truth for as long as possible, but it had all come to nothing in the end. "I...a little," he admitted after a long moment. It was hard to say aloud. "My...my back is sore. And my head is light from the fever. But the air feels good, and the light is pretty. I'm glad to be standing here."

"I'm glad you're standing here, too."

Kuroko lowered his eyes.

The quiet didn't hold for long. It rarely did, with Kise.

"Kurokocchi... Did you... Please tell me... Was this happening to you for all the years we knew each other? Even back in middle school? And we never knew?"

Kise sounded like he was about to start crying again. Kuroko shook his head, though he still couldn't look at him. "Not like this. My father did...hit me. Once in a while." He'd almost forgotten that part until Kagami asked him point blank. Had he really gotten so good at lying to himself? At forgetting facts that he found inconvenient? "But he didn't beat me. Not like this. That part is...new."

Kise drew a shaky breath. "How new?"

Kuroko had to think hard about it. "Three weeks. More or less. The last time was Wednesday night. On Thursday, Kagami-kun came over for a study session. When my father came home, he hit me. Kagami-kun was still there and...he was displeased. So he brought me home with him. He says I'm never going back there again."

"You're not." Kise's voice was low and fervent. “Never again, Kurokocchi. We’ll never let you.”

Kuroko glanced at him. Kise had slid closer along the railing, but when he saw Kuroko tense up at the proximity, he stopped. Kuroko looked away again, ashamed by the involuntary reactions of his body. He wasn't afraid of Kise. He just...didn't want anyone standing so close, not right now.

"Kurokocchi, this is a lot to ask, but... Would you do me a favor?" Kise's voice was soft and pleading.

"Of course."

Kise huffed out a breath. "Don't agree before you know what it is."

"I'm sure Kise-kun wouldn't ask me to do more than I'm able to."

Kise still hesitated. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. But if you can, I'd really like you to tell me... What was it like?"

Kuroko's mind was blank. "What...it?"

Kise pulled in a breath. "When your father beat you. I know...I'm sure you don't want to talk about it. But I can't stop thinking about... The things Midorimacchi said... I know he was speaking from his imagination, that he didn't really _know_ what happened, and still... I can't stop thinking about it. So I would very much like to know the truth, please."

Kuroko could feel Kise's eyes on him, warm and golden as the sun they stood in. "What...what did Midorima-kun say?"

"He asked your father how many times... How many times he made you bleed. And cry. And beg for him to stop. How many times he ignored you when you asked for mercy. Your father didn't deny any of it, not in the end. So, please tell me... Are those things true? Did all of that happen to you?"

Kuroko stared over the city, seeing none of it. He no longer felt too warm. His arms and legs felt cold and numb. "The first time it happened, I didn't understand what it was."

Kise went very, very still. He even seemed to hold his breath.

"My father told me to bare my back and kneel on the floor. I did as he said. He was...unstable...and I would do anything to placate him. He said he'd had a vision. I was an unnatural son, but he could cure me. He could make me human. Then he left the room, and when he came back...the strap was in his hand. He said his father had used it on him, and it had made him human. And now he would do the same for me."

Kuroko held the railing so tightly that his fingers began to ache. He could see the floor as he knelt there, feel the sensation of cool air on his bare skin, hear his father pant for breath. He was confused and helpless and very, very frightened. He couldn't move, couldn't speak. He had no words to stop this, to convince his father that this was not the way to cure him. That there was no cure, that his son was perfectly natural as he was, just a little quiet and closed off, and too good at hiding. 

"Then he struck me with the strap and...I still didn't understand. It was such a shock. It didn't even hurt at first. I couldn't believe that it was happening, that he was really doing this to me. It didn't seem real. Then the pain started, and... Yes. I cried. I begged him to stop, but he did not. I said that I would do anything he wanted me to do, be anything he wanted me to be, that I would be a good son, a natural son, I would do anything he wanted... I think I was screaming, then. And he just kept hitting me, and hitting me, and..."

He had fallen forward as the beating continued, catching himself with his hands on the floor. His arms shook, barely strong enough to hold him up, and he stared down at his hands, curled against the floor with his nails biting into palms, his eyes blurred with tears, his throat raw with crying, yelling, begging... Had the neighbors not heard? How could no one have heard that? He hadn't learned how to be silent until later.

Warmth touched his cold hand, wrapped tight around the railing, and Kuroko looked down. Kise had worked his way into Kuroko's personal space one careful step at a time, and now his hand covered Kuroko's, warm and strong and trembling just as Kuroko was. Kuroko let go of the railing and turned his hand over, and Kise folded it into his. Kise was very warm and very close, but Kuroko didn't mind now.

"I didn't bleed the first time," Kuroko said. "I couldn't believe it when I checked in the mirror, much later. It felt like I was bleeding from the beginning, it hurt so much. But they were just welts. It was later, when he whipped me again on wounds that had not healed, that I began to bleed. It was never very much. Just a little here and there. I was always able to stop the bleeding and go to school the next day."

"You sound like you're trying to comfort me," Kise murmured. His voice was trembling, too. "Trying to tell me that it wasn't so bad."

Kuroko shook his head. "No, it was bad. It was very bad. It was terrible, and I couldn't make it stop. I could not rescue myself. I didn't even understand that I needed to be rescued."

"I see." Kise's hand tightened around Kuroko's, pressing him close and safe. "And do you...do you still not understand? Do you still think that what he did to you is forgivable?"

"I don't know." This was exactly what Kuroko had come out on the balcony to try to figure out. He lowered his head, staring at Kise's hand clasped around his. "I don't think so. I..."

He floundered. Kise was silent, letting him work through it in his head. The breeze washed over them, carrying the scent of the city, of pavement and dust and blossoming trees. 

"I kept thinking..." he said slowly, quietly, for Kise's ears only. "...while I was telling you that, describing what it was like... I kept thinking, as Imayoshi-san had asked... What if... What if it wasn't me? What if it was someone else? What if...what if it was Kise-kun who suffered such a thing? Would I be able to forgive that?"

Tears were blurring his eyes again. Kuroko lifted his other hand and swiped at his cheeks, but he couldn't stop them from falling. They felt warm, too.

"And the answer is no. Of course not. I could never forgive a thing like that. Never. If Kise-kun...if anyone else... I couldn't bear it, Kise-kun. It was terrible..."

Kise tugged him closer, using their clasped hands as a tether. He tucked Kuroko's hand against his heart, and his other arm wrapped around Kuroko's shoulder and head and drew him down to hide his face against Kise's chest. How did they all instinctively know to hold Kuroko's head like that? He didn't know, but he was grateful. It always felt very nice.

He could feel the pieces of himself settling down inside him, each finding a place to rest, trembling and tentative and delicately balanced. If he felt that this was a terrible thing to happen to Kise, then it was also a terrible thing to happen to him. His friends valued him greatly, and he could not disregard that. He could not say that they were wrong, that their judgment was flawed. It might be, a little, but it couldn't be that far off. Kuroko should value himself, too.

Kuroko wasn't used to thinking like this. It was difficult and uncomfortable. But it felt good, too. It felt right. It felt like shining a light on dark and shadowed places, revealing them to be lovely and pleasant, worth showing in the sun. 

He only wept for a couple of minutes, this time. These tears were very different than the ones he'd shed before. And Kise accepted it all, standing solid and firm and steady, as if there was nowhere else he'd rather be.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for all your reviews and comments. I wish I had the time and energy to answer them all individually. You are immensely valued. I would like to answer a few questions, though.
> 
> 1\. Will I develop a romance between Kagami and Kuroko or any of the other pairs in this story? 
> 
> No. I am aromantic myself. Romance does not interest me, and I prefer to write platonic relationships. I know my writing can be kind of borderline, though, so I don't blame you for asking. (I mean, golly, the last chapter had two high school boys holding hands and then hugging. In Japan, even lovers are very unlikely to do that while standing on a balcony in full daylight. But whatever. I couldn't write it any other way.)
> 
> 2\. How am I updating so quickly? Did I write this story ahead of time?
> 
> No, except the initial first five chapters, as mentioned in my first note. I just have some time on my hands because I work in a call center and we've been pretty slow lately, so I've been writing between calls. (I can't reply to reviews or anything during that time, though, because the internet is only for business purposes. That's good, though. Keeps me from getting distracted by tumblr.) I also have been thoroughly captured by this story and these characters, which makes the writing pretty easy. Except when it's hard, because it's so emotional and wrenching.
> 
> 3\. Is any of this story based on personal experience? 
> 
> Yes. I wrote kind of an essay on my tumblr about that. Short version: I was abused, too, though not the same way as Kuroko. But a lot of our reactions and problems are similar or the same. In particular, when I wrote about how Kuroko feels like the world is split into two groups of people, those who know and those who don't, and how he doesn't want Kagami to treat him differently now, but he also kind of really NEEDS a lot of tenderness and kindness... _(Don't look at me like I'm broken, even though I am.)_ Those parts are basically transcriptions of my experience. Also the denial of how bad it was, the self-blame, the emotional repression. I've had problems with PTSD and self-esteem and depression, too. For years. I'm healed now, but I still remember it all clearly. That's one reason the writing of this can be both very easy, and very hard.
> 
> I've also done a lot of research on the subject, naturally. But if anything feels particularly authentic and true-to-life, that's probably because it is.
> 
> On with the story.

"Are they going to be all right?" Kagami's voice and expression were worried, trained on the two that had just gone out on the balcony. He kept eating without pausing, though.

Midorima looked behind himself through the glass door. Kuroko was leaning on the rail, as was Kise, a meter or two of distance between them. Kise looked at Kuroko, his concern clear on his face. There weren't a lot of things that Midorima was comfortable trusting Kise with, but this was one of them.

Midorima faced forward and gave Kagami a solemn nod. "They'll be fine. Kise's affection for Kuroko is uncomplicated, but that doesn't mean it isn't deep."

If any of Kuroko's former teammates were suited to provide the kind of simple, unswerving kindness that Kuroko needed right now, it was Kise. Kagami probably was, too, but Kise needed this opportunity almost as much as Kuroko did. That was why Midorima hadn't bothered to stand up with them when Kuroko suddenly rose and said that he needed some air.

Kagami grunted in acceptance and concentrated on his food again, though he kept an eye on the balcony.

Midorima couldn't help seeing Kuroko's absence as an opportunity for himself, as well. He looked at Kagami frankly. "What sort of arrangements have you made to ensure that Kuroko will never go back to that place again? Have you contacted the police? Have you retained a lawyer? What do your parents think about him staying here? Has Kuroko's father made any attempt to contact you?"

Kagami's eyes widened a bit more with each question. He set his spoon down by his plate, apparently resigned to not eating for a bit while he dealt with this new challenge. "Um... Can you repeat those one at a time, please?"

Takao bumped Midorima's shoulder with his own, and Midorima abruptly became aware of how tense he was. He sat back and forced his shoulders to loosen, then stretched his neck back and forth. His left hand ached, reminding him that basketball practice was going to be difficult for a few days. "Sorry," he said much more calmly. "First off, have you contacted the police or retained a lawyer?"

Kagami shifted where he sat, and a scowl appeared on his face. "For the first one, no. Kuroko wouldn't let me. He didn't want to go to the hospital, either. I'm sure you can imagine how reluctant he's been to share pretty much anything. I only found out to begin with because I was there when his worthless father took a swing at him."

Midorima nodded slowly. He hadn't really expected anything different.

"And for the lawyer thing... I'm still not sure what we're gonna do to make sure Kuroko can stay here. My brother is working on it. He said it's good that we didn't go to the police, though, because if they get involved Kuroko is pretty much guaranteed to end up in an orphanage. I don't want that. Neither does Kuroko."

Midorima frowned. "Your brother..."

"Not by blood." Kagami's hand rose to touch the ring he wore on the chain around his neck. Midorima watched him silently. He'd always been curious about that ring, especially after he found it and gave it back to Kagami when he lost it on the court at the Winter Cup. "Himuro Tatsuya. He's at Yosen with your giant purple tree buddy. He's been helping me out."

Aomine made a noise. "That guy? Man, he's good. I really want to play him someday. I can't believe you're related."

Kagami glared at him. "I said it's not by blood. We met in the States. He's the one who introduced me to basketball."

"We all owe him a debt, then." Midorima hummed in contemplation. Kagami blushed and looked down. For such an intense guy on the basketball court, he could be surprisingly shy in other contexts. "If either of you needs an introduction to a good lawyer, I can assist you."

Kagami nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

"What about your parents?" Midorima asked. "Are they not involved in this?"

Kagami rubbed the back of his neck. "Sometimes I forget that you guys don't actually know anything about me, we've all been up in each other's business so much... But yeah, I live alone. My dad is a business consultant, and we were supposed to live here together, but he got called back to the States. My fees for Seirin had already been paid, so I stayed here. And I haven't...actually...told him about Kuroko yet, or anything. Once I do, though, I'm sure he'll have no objections to Kuroko living here. He might even insist on it. My dad is a good guy."

"And your mother?"

Kagami's jaw hardened. "She's not in the picture."

There was a story there, but it was nothing Midorima needed to pursue. He nodded. "You said your father is a good man. Do you think he would go so far as to adopt Kuroko?"

"Huh." Kagami blinked, once. "That would solve a lot of problems, wouldn't it?"

"Yes. But Kuroko's father would be an obstacle to that plan, presuming we're not involving the police. That's probably what your brother is working on."

"Oh." Kagami fiddled with his ring again. "Yeah, that makes sense. And as for my dad... Yeah. Yeah, I think he would go that far. He'd fly out here tomorrow if he thought I needed him badly enough. He was never happy about leaving me alone in Japan."

"A good man indeed," Midorima murmured. He looked down at his empty plate, reaching up to adjust his glasses as they slid on his nose.

"I know he'll love Kuroko as soon as he meets him. My dad is that kind of person."

The certainty in his voice was...rather heartwarming. Midorima could feel his heart settling in his chest, reasserting a more comfortable and relaxed rhythm. Kuroko had fallen in with good people, here. Midorima had known it from the moment he met the Seirin basketball club, and this just confirmed it again.

Takao made a high-pitched noise and nudged Midorima's shoulder, and Midorima turned to find him twisted around, staring out the window to the balcony. Midorima looked, too, curious about what could make Takao produce a noise like that... Ah. Kise and Kuroko were hugging.

"So cute," Takao squeaked out, soft and heartfelt.

Midorima's eyes narrowed. Kuroko's fingers were clenched tight in the back of Kise's shirt, visibly trembling, and his face was hidden. Kise's eyes were wet, and it was a fair wager that Kuroko was crying, too. Not an entirely cute picture, then.

But Takao's hands had finally stopped shaking. Midorima wasn't going to remark on it.

He turned back around and found Kagami staring out the window, too, his eyes soft and large. Kasamatsu and Aomine, sitting next to him, looked just as affected. Midorima sighed and folded his hands on the table in front of him. Kagami blinked and looked at him.

"You had one more question, right? About Kuroko's father?"

Midorima nodded. "Has he tried to contact Kuroko?"

Kagami shook his head. His face was grim. "I thought we were rid of that bastard for good. Hoped so, anyway."

"Kuroko is wise. He would not have left any information in that place that could lead his father to your address. But there's always the possibility that such an unstable, unpredictable man will try to come after the two of you, anyway."

"What about you?" Kagami's eyes flicked to Midorima's bandaged hand. "You punched him. I'm _incredibly_ envious, by the way. I called dibs a long time ago, but you got there first."

Midorima's lips pressed together. "We...came to an agreement. He won't come after me."

Kagami looked suspiciously between him and Aomine and Kasamatsu, who looked pained and grim, respectively. Takao was still smiling at the scene on the balcony. "What kind of agreement?"

"Mutually assured destruction. If he goes to the police to complain that I punched him, I will tell the police _why_ I punched him." Midorima raised his chin. "He's a business man. He will not risk losing his reputation because of a broken nose."

"Aw, man, you even got to break his nose?" Kagami's fist flexed on the table. "That just makes me _even more envious."_

Midorima ignored this. "Of course, I thought Kuroko should go to the police, anyway. But I'm glad now that we've had time to re-think that. I had not considered the delicacy of the situation. You're right. None of us wants Kuroko to be victimized again by the system."

Kagami subsided, looking down at his curry. "No, we don't."

He met Midorima's eyes again. Midorima had never seen such a fierce light before. The closest he could remember was Aomine when he was truly fired up, back before everything changed and his passion became boring to him. Come to think of it, that light had only come back to Aomine's eyes when he met Kagami in that fateful match. And now Kagami had a similar light, but this was not passion for victory. At least not victory on a basketball court. This was much, much more important.

"I get why you're worried," he said to Midorima, his voice low and calm. "But Kuroko's father is never going to touch him again. He's not even going to get a chance to come close. I'll die first."

Midorima snorted. But he lowered his head, closed his eyes, and smiled. "That would be unfortunate. Who would be Kuroko's adopted brother and make sure he always had nutritious food to eat if you weren't around?"

Kagami turned very, very red and deteriorated into mumbles. It was beautiful and hilarious. Midorima realized that he didn't feel tense at all anymore.

"Ah, they're coming back," Takao said, and quickly turned around before Kise and Kuroko caught him staring.

The balcony door opened and the two stepped back inside the main room, side by side. Kise's arm was still wrapped around Kuroko's shoulders, holding him lightly but with no intentions of letting go. Kuroko's hand gripped the front of Kise's shirt, as if he needed the contact, and Midorima didn't miss the way he leaned into Kise's side, letting him hold him up. They were both a bit damp and shaky around the edges, but Kuroko was calm and Kise was smiling.

"Ah, Kagamicchi!" he called. "We were just wondering if you'd made any dessert to accompany your delicious curry!"

Kagami scowled at the hated nickname, shoulders going stiff. "Of course not. As if I would ever expend that much effort on you bunch of louts."

"But Kagamicchi, you made curry for us..."

"Curry is easy. Good desserts are hard."

Kuroko blinked at him, cool and serene. "But Kagami-kun, you still have chocolate chips, don't you? You could make cookies. I've heard that those aren't too difficult."

"I don't want to give away my precious chocolate chips, either! Besides, you wouldn't even eat any." Kagami gestured at Kuroko's bowl of rice porridge in disgust. "You didn't even eat a third of your proper meal."

"That's true." Kuroko eyed the porridge with remorse for a moment, then returned his wide gaze to Kagami's face. "I think I could eat a cookie, though. Especially if Kagami-kun made it."

Kagami held firm for about five seconds, his face turning slowly redder and redder. Then he made a strangled noise of frustration and popped to his feet. "Fine! Cookies!" He pointed at Kuroko. "But only for you! The rest of this bunch can get dessert at the convenience store."

Kuroko smiled, and it only wavered a little. "Thank you, Kagami-kun."

Of course, they all ended up getting cookies. Kagami's kitchen was a horrible mess before the task was halfway through, since Kise, Takao, and Aomine all insisted on "helping." Midorima, Kuroko, and Kasamatsu watched from the other side of the counter, occasionally offering advice but mostly just taking amusement from Kagami's increasingly flustered behavior as he tried to shoo the other three away from his work with marginal success. Miraculously, Kagami still made sure not a single cookie was burned. A few were a bit under-done, but that just made them extra soft and gooey, and Kuroko declared those to be his favorite kind, anyway.

For such a bad beginning to the evening, it ended rather well.


	24. Chapter 24

"Where do you want your uniform shirts?" Kagami asked.

Kuroko was sitting cross-legged on the bed in the spare room. _("Your_ room," Kagami kept saying. "Stop calling it the spare room. It's _your_ room now.") Kagami knelt on the floor surrounded by open boxes as he pulled articles out and put them away. He refused to let Kuroko help because of his fever. He was supposed to sit and direct Kagami where to go.

Kuroko sighed. "The closet, please." He was pretty sure Kagami could have made that decision on his own. But he insisted on hearing and following Kuroko's opinion for every little thing.

Kagami climbed to his feet with an armful of shirts and started hanging them in the closet. Kuroko yawned, his entire body drooping. He had spent a good part of the day napping in the blanket fort, yet he was still exhausted.

Kagami finished with the shirts, then hung the trousers and jackets next to them. ("Where do you want these?" "Same place, please.") He pushed the boxes full of books over to the wall, then stood with his hands on his hips and frowned down at them. "We'll buy a bookshelf tomorrow. Maybe two. How many books do you have, anyway?"

Kuroko tilted his head to stare at the boxes. He had never realized how many books he owned. Seeing everything he possessed in boxes around his feet was a rather strange experience. It all seemed like too much (Did he really have this much useless stuff?) and too little at the same time (Did these few boxes really hold his entire life?). 

And seeing the boxes also made it all feel...more real. He really wasn't living with his father anymore. He really wasn't going back. He really was going to stay with Kagami.

This really was... _his_ room. Not Kagami's spare room anymore. His. Kuroko Tetsuya's room.

It had all happened so fast.

"Kuroko?" Kagami's voice was much closer this time. And more concerned. "Are you all right?"

Kuroko looked up and found him standing next to the bed, looking down at him with his eyebrows bent in worry. Kuroko shrugged. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Busy day, huh?" Kagami plopped down next to him on the bed and slung a casual arm around his neck, reaching up to ruffle Kuroko's hair midway through. 

Kuroko barely flinched at all. He was getting used to Kagami's gestures and movements. He felt like less of a freak, more like himself. And it had only been three days. It felt like a major accomplishment, though he didn't know whether to credit Kagami or himself with the success. Probably Kagami.

"Busy day," he echoed softly. "Hard day. Good day, too, in the end. Bad in parts."

"Yeah." Kagami was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry Aomine did this without asking you. He was an idiot."

Kuroko hummed. "If he'd asked me, I could have given him my key. They could have gone and gotten my things when my father wasn't home."

"Yeah." Kagami sighed. "I think half of the reason was because he wanted to confront your father, though. And hey, he got what he wanted. Your dad got punched in the face. By Midorima, though."

"That was a surprise."

Kagami grunted. "There were a lot of surprising things. Imayoshi. Kasamatsu. What did Kasamatsu say to you before they left, eh?"

Kuroko looked down at his hands, twined in his lap. It had happened just as their visitors were taking their leave, putting on their jackets and shoes in the entryway, saying their thanks to Kagami for his excellent hospitality. Kasmatsu had hung back from the others a bit, looking awkward but determined, and gestured Kuroko over to the wall so he could speak to him.

Kuroko spoke slowly. "Kasamatsu-san said... That he was sorry to intrude, he was sorry he'd been thrust into my business like this and it was not his place to say anything. But now that he was there, he wanted to tell me..." Kuroko drew a breath. "He said he hoped that I would keep playing basketball. Because I was a good player, an interesting player, and he knew how much I loved it. Kise-kun told him all the time, and it's not many who have earned Kise-kun's respect. And Kasamatsu-san hoped that my difficulties would not spoil that for me. He wants me to continue to find pleasure and joy in the sport I love."

Kagami was silent for a moment. "What did you say back to him?"

"I thanked him for his concern and said I would do my best. I didn't want to tell him that...that my basketball is gone."

"Good," Kagami said at once. "Because it's not. Not forever, anyway. You know that, right?"

Kuroko hesitated. "I know you believe that."

"Yeah, I do. I'll make you believe it, too." Kagami tightened the arm he had slung around Kuroko's neck, dragging him in closer until their temples touched for a moment. Then he let him go and stood up from the bed, bare toes wiggling on the matting. "Stay here. I'll be right back. There's something I wanna share with you."

He had already trotted out of the room before Kuroko could protest that Kagami had already shared pretty much everything with him. Kagami returned in just a minute or two, carrying his laptop and a bright grin. "Okay, let's get comfortable."

He arranged some pillows and bedding against the wall behind Kuroko's back, then wiggled down into them with a sigh. Kuroko watched him work, too tired to help, but scooted back to join him when Kagami patted the mattress beside him. Kagami situated the computer on his lap and opened a program.

"Do you want to watch the rest of the movie?" Kuroko asked, still confused. Kagami's manner seemed to indicate that this was something more than just finishing Castle in the Sky.

"No. I want to introduce you to my dad." It was a video chat program. And it was beginning to connect.

Kuroko's eyes widened in alarm. He shifted away almost instinctively, trying to make sure he wouldn't be in the shot. Kagami gave him a look, eyebrows furrowing, but didn't force him to come back. "It's okay. I'll talk to him first, then bring you in."

The program was still connecting. Kuroko watched it spin, his eyes wide, heart fluttering in his chest. "How...how do you know he'll be available? Your father is busy, isn't he?"

"We often chat on Sunday nights. Not every week, but he usually lets me know if he's not going to be at his laptop." Kagami gave him another look, a small frown pulling at his mouth. "Don't look so worried. He's going to love you."

"You sound so certain," Kuroko murmured.

"That's because I am..." A video window finally opened on the screen, revealing the smiling face of an older man who looked very much like Kagami, though his hair and eyebrows were much more respectable, the usual Japanese black instead of dark red. The connection was good, only breaking slightly every few seconds, and the picture was quite clear. He looked well-groomed and polished, bright eyes glinting behind round spectacles. And he was completely delighted to see his son.

Kagami lit up like a firework. He greeted his father in English, loud and enthusiastic. "Hey there, Daddy-o!"

"Hey there, Tiger Cub!" his father replied, and he said something else in English that Kuroko couldn't follow. 

They said a few things back and forth to each other, and Kuroko only picked up a few words here and there: notably "basketball," "Seirin," and "fun" among them. Then Kagami cut a glance to Kuroko and abruptly switched to Japanese.

"Hey, Dad, you remember what I was telling you about my friend, Kuroko?"

His father followed his change of language without hesitation. "I do. Did you find out what was wrong?" He had settled down from the enthusiasm and joy they'd greeted each other with, meeting his son's seriousness with his own.

Kagami nodded solemnly. "I did. And it's really bad." He hesitated, looking at Kuroko again, then looked back to his father. "Just a second, okay?"

His father nodded. Kagami muted the program and looked at Kuroko. "I need to tell him, all right? I know...a lot of people found out today against your wishes, and it was very uncomfortable for you. If you want me to wait, I will. But Dad needs to know what's going on eventually."

Kuroko pressed a hand to his chest. His heart was pounding. But the man on that screen...not only was he Kagami's father, but he was the one who paid for the place where Kuroko was now staying. Where he wanted to continue staying for as long as possible. If anyone deserved to know all of the details of Kuroko's life, this man did.

It didn't really make it any easier to accept. But it did make it necessary.

Kuroko nodded, slow and shaky, but as firmly as he could. "You can tell him now. He should know."

Kagami watched him for a moment longer, as if giving him a chance to take it back, then faced the computer again. His father's face was solemn, watching with care and concern, his expression exactly like his son's. When Kagami unmuted the program, he spoke first. "Is Kuroko-kun with you now, Taiga?"

Kagami nodded. "Yeah, he is." He turned the laptop so that Kuroko appeared in the small inset window on the bottom right.

Kuroko blinked at both Kagami's father and at the image of himself at the bottom of the screen. Kuroko was still clutching his chest with one hand, and his face was pale where it wasn't flushed. He looked thin and ill and wary. Almost...cornered.

Pitiful. This was why he'd been avoiding mirrors.

Kagami slung an arm around his neck again and pulled him in. Kuroko's temple bumped against Kagami's chin, and he squinted one eye shut at the contact. But he didn't look as lonely in that little inset window with Kagami's face pressed close to his.

"Dad, this is my friend, Kuroko Tetsuya," Kagami said. "Kuroko, this is my father, Kagami Hiroshi."

He sounded proud, and happy, and satisfied. He sounded like he'd wanted to do this for a long time.

Kagami Hiroshi's face opened into a gentle smile. His eyes were soft, and his voice was kind. "Kuroko-kun, I'm very pleased to meet you. Taiga has told me so many good things about you. I'm very happy to see you face to face, even though it's not in person."

"Hello, Kagami-san," Kuroko greeted him softly. "Your son is very good and kind. You should be proud of him."

He beamed at Kuroko with no hint of surprise, as if this went without saying. "I am the proudest father in all of America and Japan. All that, and he's good at basketball, too!"

Kuroko nodded solemnly. "He's the _best_ at basketball."

Kagami grinned at them both, eyes sparkling. Then he brought himself back down, smile fading little by little. By the time he spoke again, his voice was entirely serious. "Dad, I need to ask a favor."

His father looked at him expectantly.

"I want Kuroko to stay here from now on. No...that's what needs to happen. Kuroko can't go home anymore. You remember I told you I thought someone might be bullying him?"

"Yes, I do." The elder Kagami's voice was serious, too.

"Well, I found out who it was. It wasn't just some kid at school. It was Kuroko's father. And bullying is not the right word. It's not the right word at all."

Silence. Kuroko lowered his eyes. His hands twisted in his lap. At least his heart wasn't pounding anymore. He felt numb and distant. Why was this so hard, every single time?

Maybe it was bad this time because it was Kagami's father, and Kuroko very much wanted this person to like him. He didn't want to feel weak and pathetic and worthless in this man's eyes. Kagami Hiroshi was also the first adult to find out, and that was a barrier Kuroko had not mentally prepared himself to breach. It was all happening so fast...

Kagami and his father were still talking, though Kuroko did not have the wherewithal to listen to them. The words washed over him, the outraged tone of Kagami's voice, the concerned tone of his father's. _("...beating him, he was beating him, with a strap, he's covered in welts..." "...you did the right thing, you truly did, never doubt that...")_ Kagami's arm remained tight around Kuroko, holding him close, so Kuroko finally gave in and just rested his head on Kagami's shoulder. There was a slight pause in the conversation, then, before it went on.

They switched to English at one point, probably so they could discuss terms that didn't have exact Japanese equivalents. The words "Japan" and "America" and "different" were prominent. When they moved back to Japanese, they seemed to have come to an agreement, though Kagami-san's voice was sharper than it had been before. 

_("He looks terrible. You should take him to a hospital." "He won't go, Dad, and it's just a fever. He's been under a lot of stress. I'm taking care of him.")_

Kuroko was so tired. He couldn't go to sleep with all the noise, though. At least his heart had settled down in his chest. He didn't have the energy to be afraid anymore.

"Kuroko-kun. Kuroko-kun?" Kagami-san's voice was worried.

Kagami gave his shoulder a little shake. "Kuroko, Dad is talking to you."

Kuroko raised his head from Kagami's shoulder with great difficulty. His eyelids were heavy, but he forced them open. "Yes, Kagami-san?"

Kagami-san's eyes were bright and fierce behind his glasses, but his expression was gentle. "Kuroko-kun, I wanted to tell you myself. Everything will be all right. You are here now, and this is where you will stay. Do you understand?"

Kuroko nodded. "Yes, Kagami-san. Thank you."

He gave Kuroko a smile, slight and strained. "You could call me Hiroshi if you like. You're under my roof now."

"Dad, Kuroko never uses people's given names. Even when they tell him to."

"But I insist. No son of mine should address me so formally."

Kuroko's eyes widened. He felt frozen. He couldn't even form the words to question this.

Kagami-san nodded. "I know it's sudden. And it won't be official for quite a long time, probably. But please think of me as your guardian until further notice. You are safe now. I swear it."

The tears came again. Kuroko couldn't believe he had any left. His face wrenched up, and he turned and hid his eyes against Kagami's shoulder, fingers twisting in his shirt. "Yes...Hiroshi-san," he choked out. Kagami's arm tightened around him, and his other hand rose to comb through Kuroko's hair.

Silence held for only a few seconds.

"I'll fly out tomorrow."

"C'mon, no. You have that big meeting you're worried about. We'll be okay."

"No. I'm coming."

"Ugh, Dad, this is why I didn't tell you right away. So pushy."

"I think I have a right to be. And I think I have a right to punch that man in the face."

"What, again! Don't dibs mean anything to anyone? One of Kuroko's friends from middle school already punched him, okay? He's been punched."

"Not enough."

"Well, you definitely can't come to Japan with an attitude like that. This is a peaceful country."

This nonsense continued for a while. Kuroko sagged on Kagami's shoulder, unable to hold himself upright. At length, it seemed that Kagami managed to persuade his father to hold off. "I'll call you every night so you can see him for yourself, all right? We'll be fine, I promise."

"You'd better be. Now, you should both get some rest. Forget about homework. Sleep is more important tonight."

"Thanks, Dad. You're the best."

"Don't I know it."

The good-byes went on for a bit, too. Kuroko managed to raise his hand and give a little wave when Hiroshi-san specifically wished him a good night. Then the noise finally, finally stopped. Kagami closed the laptop and set it aside, then sat there for a moment, still and silent, letting it sink in.

"Well," he said. "That's done. From here on out, everything changes."

Kuroko nodded, slow and already half-asleep. Kagami patted his head. "C'mon, let's get you under the covers."

Kuroko let Kagami maneuver him around. Somehow Kagami seemed to know already that Kuroko wanted to sleep on his side, his knees drawn up and his face toward the door. Kagami smoothed the pillow under his head and pulled the blankets over his shoulder.

"Kagami-kun...?" Kuroko just had one more question. He couldn't drag his eyes open to ask it, though.

But he felt Kagami pause, even so, listening carefully.

"Why... Why didn't you ask your father for advice? That first night? You're obviously very close. Why did you turn to your brother instead?"

"Because you wanted it to be a secret." Kagami patted his head one more time, gentle and kind. "If I had mentioned it to my dad, he would have known right away that it was you no matter how I tried to disguise it. Aniki figured it out, too, but it took him a while. But my dad... He knows a lot about you. I talk about you all the time."

"Oh." Kuroko snuggled down into his bed, curling up a little tighter. "Then...to him, it wasn't that sudden."

"No," Kagami said softly. "It wasn't that sudden at all. I told you he would love you, Kuroko. Because he already did."


	25. Chapter 25

On Monday morning, Kuroko's fever seemed better, but it still wasn't gone. He wore a face mask to school, even though he wasn't coughing or sniffling. Kagami told him to wear it in hopes that the teachers would go easy on him when they saw that he was under the weather, and Kuroko agreed just in case he did have something infectious going on. Kagami was still convinced that it was the stress on his body wearing him down. But a lowered immune system meant he was more susceptible to bugs, too, so it was better safe than sorry.

Instead of making him stand out, the face mask somehow worked to make Kuroko even more invisible. Nobody seemed bothered that he had finished none of his homework for the weekend, though Kagami caught a scolding from a teacher or two. He scowled and bore it, knowing that it would do no good to try to explain the situation. His dad had been right, anyway—rest and recovery had been much more important than filling out some words on some paper.

Kuroko ate almost nothing for lunch, no matter how Kagami pestered him. It was starting to worry him. The guy couldn't afford to lose any more weight, and he certainly wasn't getting any back at this rate. 

Kuroko came to basketball practice, but he just sat against a wall and watched. He refused to so much as touch a basketball. Occasionally one of the others would go and sit by him for a bit, but Kuroko had no interest in making conversation, so they usually just sat in silence. Most of them couldn't take the awkwardness for long and ended up going back to practice.

Kiyoshi did not seem bothered. He lasted the longest, sitting casually at Kuroko's side and talking about nothing in particular while he tossed a basketball in the air and ran it along his fingers and arms. After a while, Kuroko rested his head back against the wall and just watched him, his eyes drooping, his posture relaxed. Kiyoshi grinned and took this as encouragement. His recovery from his surgery meant that he had to take frequent breaks from practice, anyway, and he spent them at Kuroko's side.

Coach Riko never told any of them to go back to practice. It was a silent agreement among the team, one every single member understood perfectly without being told. They all knew Kuroko was in trouble. They all would do whatever they could to help.

Kagami had assumed—naively, he knew now—that once Kuroko was removed from the bad situation in his father's house, everything would immediately turn around and start going in the right direction again. That was not the case. They had made some major strides over the weekend, but there was still a lot of bad stuff going on in Kuroko's mind and body. 

His back wasn't healing quickly enough, either. Kagami applied balm to his sores twice a day, and each time they finished with a long, careful hug, as if that was part of the treatment. Kagami could tell that the welts and raw places were getting better, little by little, but it was so _slow._ Of course, the fever could not be helping. It was taking up resources that Kuroko's body could have used better to help him heal.

It felt weird to fire up the video chat program on a Monday night, but it was part of the deal Kagami had made to keep his dad from coming to Japan on the next flight. It had to be late—the sixteen-hour difference between LA and Tokyo was no joke. Six in the morning was about as early as Dad could stand, and ten at night was pretty much as late as Kagami and Kuroko could stay up, considering that they rose early every morning for school and training, and they were adolescent athletes whose bodies demanded a lot of sleep.

Once Dad's face appeared in the screen, though, it was all worth it. Kuroko and Kagami were sitting on Kuroko's bed again, bathed and dressed for sleep, homework done (as much as they were capable of doing in their depleted states). Dad lit up at the sight and declared that they were the cutest thing he'd ever seen, and it was embarrassing but also nice, as usual.

"So I've been thinking," Dad said, after he and Kagami had given each other their usual greetings of "Daddy-o" and "Tiger Cub." Even through the distance and the sometimes-choppy video stream, he made it clear that he was looking at and speaking to Kuroko. "I told you to call me Hiroshi last night, and I'm very pleased that you agreed. But you were very tired, so I didn't follow up with the next question. Would you like me to keep calling you Kuroko-kun, or would you be comfortable with me using a more familiar name?"

Kagami felt Kuroko shrink down beside him, as if the pressure of Dad's attention on him was too much to handle. Kagami gave him a glance, but didn't instantly put an arm around him the way he wanted to. He had a feeling that Kuroko was starting to find it a bit smothering.

"H-Hiroshi-san can call me whatever he wants to," Kuroko said, his voice very quiet. 

He sounded...shy. Kagami frowned. Kuroko had always been polite and reserved, but he'd never been particularly _shy._ Before… Well, before.

Dad nodded carefully. "I appreciate that. But I would like to avoid reminding you of the person who hurt you, even by calling you the same name. I want this to be a fresh start for you. So I'd appreciate your input, please."

Kuroko's breath hitched. "He...calls me Tetsuya."

"Then I will not." Dad rubbed his chin with his hand in thought for a moment. "Would you mind if I called you Tetsu-chan?"

"I...I would like that. Thank you." Kuroko sounded relieved.

Kagami was proud of his father all over again. He hadn't even realized that this could be a problem, but Dad had foreseen it and corrected it before it could become one. Kagami remembered the way Kuroko's dad had snarled his name, _Tetsuya,_ like it was a curse. Better to avoid evoking that monster if they could.

Dad smiled, proud too, but of Kuroko instead of himself. "Good! I'm glad. Now, how are you feeling, Tetsu-chan? Was today a good day for you?"

This was, after all, the purpose of the call. To let Dad check up on Kuroko and make sure he was getting better. And to prove that there was no need for him to fly to Japan so he could personally oversee his care. 

"I'm doing well," Kuroko said. "Thank you for your concern."

Dad squinted at him. Then he looked at Kagami. "Is that true?" he asked in English.

Kagami hesitated. "He's better today than yesterday," he said in the same language. "But he's not eating much and he's very withdrawn. It's still a lot to deal with. Everything that's happened, I mean. It's only been a few days, really, and I think he's still in shock in some ways."

Dad nodded. "And his fever? His wounds?"

"Better but not gone. His back isn't healing as quickly as I want it to. The last time he was beaten was five days ago. Sometimes it still seems almost fresh."

"Well, that's not what I wanted to hear." Dad grimaced. "Does his skin seem swollen and hot?"

Kagami nodded. "I know it's still painful."

"Maybe try some cold compresses or ice. Treat it like a bruise instead of a scrape."

"Ah. That's a good idea, Dad. Thanks."

"It will take time. I know the impulse is to want to fix everything for him immediately, but we need to have patience."

"That's rich coming from you, Mr. I'll-be-on-the-next-plane."

"Shut up, brat." Dad grinned, broad and sharp-toothed, and his tone was playful. Kagami grinned back.

"I know you're talking about me."

They both looked at Kuroko, expressions suddenly guilty. He was frowning at them, his eyes narrowed. They returned to Japanese immediately.

"Sorry, Kuroko."

"Sorry, Tetsu-chan. We shouldn't have left you out."

Despite the ire now aimed at him, Kagami was glad to see some fire back in Kuroko's eyes. He still had that fierce spirit, despite everything. It was a relief to see it.

But as soon as their attention was on him again, Kuroko shrank down once more. He lowered his eyes, his glance shifting to the side. "I guess...I guess I should get better at English..."

"We'll be glad to help you with that," Dad said. "But it was rude of us to exclude you that way. We won't do it again."

Kagami nodded. "We were just talking about ways to make you feel better."

Kuroko heaved a sigh. "I understood that much. It's embarrassing, though."

"Why should that embarrass you?" Kagami watched him carefully. "You're hurt and we both want to make it better. What shame is there in that?"

Kuroko shrugged helplessly. He still couldn't meet their eyes. "There is no shame for you. You are both immensely kind. I am fortunate indeed to have somehow come into your care."

"And yet you are ashamed," Dad said. "Why is that?"

Kuroko said nothing. A flush was rising in his cheeks, overwhelming the fever color. 

"You don't think that any of this is your fault, do you?" Dad asked. "Because it isn't. Not even a little bit."

Kagami's chest ached. He'd thought they'd been over this. He'd thought Aomine had managed to get through.

"I know," Kuroko said, but his voice was wavering and uncertain, and it was clear that he didn't know at all. Not really.

Dad's eyes were large and pleading. But Kuroko couldn't see that, his gaze still trained on nothing in particular. If this didn't end soon, Dad was going to jump on a plane just so he could come and reassure Kuroko in person. Kagami didn't know if Kuroko would be able to stand that, not right now.

"Dad," he said. "We have to have patience, remember?"

Dad settled back with a grumble, but Kagami could still see him twitching. After a moment, though, he brightened. "Ah! I didn't tell you yet. I've made arrangements so that I can come visit next weekend."

"Really?" Kagami straightened up. He glanced at Kuroko, wanting to share his excitement, but Kuroko was still staring listlessly at the bedspread. Kagami looked back to his dad. "That's great!" 

He wasn't going to object to this one. As long as Dad had that important meeting taken care of, Kagami couldn't wait to see him. Dad had only been able to come to Japan for a couple of important holidays, so far. The eighteen-hour round trip with attendant indignities was brutal.

Dad nodded cheerfully. "And of course I'm still working on making sure I'll be able to move back permanently. I think we're getting closer to that goal, Taiga. It sounds like your second year of high school isn't going to be nearly as lonely as the first one was."

Kagami beamed. His dad back _and_ a little brother. A little brother who was _Kuroko,_ which was even better. Yeah, Kagami was only six months older, but that still counted.

Still, he had to protest. "My first year wasn't that bad. I got to join Seirin's basketball team. I met Kuroko. Alex even stayed here for like a month."

"That woman." Dad rolled his eyes. He liked Alex well enough, but her handsiness bothered him. He'd had a couple of very serious discussions with Kagami and Himuro about it. They assured him that they found it somewhat annoying, but nothing more than that. 

Dad's expression softened. "I'm glad your first year of high school was a good one, Taiga."

Kagami nodded vigorously. "Second one will be even better."

"We'll make sure of it."

Kuroko released a tiny sigh, then looked up with wide eyes, as if he hadn't meant to do it. Kagami and his father both turned to him immediately.

"You too, Kuroko," Kagami said, his hands clenching in his fists. The desire to make this true was like an electric current running through his body, humming in his bones and sparking in every muscle. "Your second year of high school is going to be so, so good. We'll make sure of it."

"That's right," Dad said. He was leaning forward in his chair, his hand reaching out as if he could reach through the screen and pat Kuroko's head if he only tried hard enough. The new sun behind him was very bright. "Nothing can ever replace what you lost, Tetsu-chan, and we know that. We do. But we're going to do everything in our power to give you something new that will be just as good."

"I...I know that." Kuroko's hands were clasped over his chest, hard and tight, as if to stanch a gaping wound. Not for the first time, Kagami wondered what exactly was going through his head. Why this wistfulness? Why was he still so, so sad?

 _Patience,_ he reminded himself. _Patience, patience, patience._

Kagami wasn't good at being patient.

Dad watched Kuroko for a moment longer, then finally forced himself to sit back in his chair. "Well," he said. "It's getting late. You boys should go to sleep. We'll talk again tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," Kagami said. "Good night."

"Good night, Hiroshi-san."

"Sleep well, Taiga, Tetsu-chan."

Kagami closed the program and shut the laptop, then turned to look at Kuroko. Kuroko was staring down again. His wide blue eyes reflected nothing but a void, and for a second, terror caught at Kagami's chest.

"Kuroko?" 

He reached out, almost hesitant to touch, his hand hovering in midair. Then he remembered that even in the worst moments, Kuroko had never once pulled away from contact with him. Even when he flinched and started and froze for moment, once Kagami's hand lit on his shoulder or his arm wrapped around him, Kuroko melted into it. Every single time.

So Kagami reached out for him one more time, wrapping one large hand around Kuroko's frail, shivering shoulder. "Kuroko? What's wrong?" 

Kuroko shook his head, still not looking up, though he leaned into Kagami's hand just the way Kagami had expected. "Nothing, really. It...it's nothing."

"No, it's not." Kagami stared at him for a moment, trying to understand. "You were tired and worn out before we talked to Dad but now you... You're sad. You're much more sad now than you were before. Why?"

"It's not because of your dad. Or you." Kuroko reached up to swipe at his face. His fingers came away damp, and Kagami stared in dismay. "It's just... You and your father are so kind to each other. You make each other happy. He wants to see you, and you want to see him. And I..."

Kagami held his breath for a moment, on the cusp of understanding this. "You..."

"...and my father..."

A lump rose in Kagami's throat, almost choking him. "You wanted that with your dad, too."

"I thought we had that. At one point." Kuroko pressed his hands to his chest again, even more like he was trying to stop himself from bleeding. "But now I wonder...if we ever did. Maybe...maybe he always hated me. Maybe the medicine just helped him hide it. And when he stopped taking it..."

"Oh, Kuroko..." Kagami leaned over and set the laptop on the floor. Then he pushed closer to Kuroko, disregarding his small, instinctive flinch, and wrapped him up in his arms. Again. For the third time that day. It was all he really had to offer, and it had never felt so inadequate. 

Kuroko leaned into him and rested his head on Kagami's shoulder, turning his face so he could still talk. "I loved him so much, Kagami-kun. No... I still love him. And now I wonder... If it was all just a waste..."

"No," Kagami said, strong and instinctive. Then he had to figure out some way to back that up. "No, Kuroko, of course not. Even if it didn't do him any good, there's nothing wrong with you loving your father. He thought you were a freak, but you're as normal as can be. Of course you loved him. Of course you're sad now, because you lost him. But it wasn't a waste. Nothing like that can ever be a waste."

"It feels like it, though. It feels like... I've lost something. Even if I never had it to begin with, it's still lost now."

"Then it's okay to be sad. You're...grieving. There's nothing wrong with that."

As if this permission was what he'd been waiting for, Kuroko suddenly relaxed. And he cried, a little, but he didn't have the energy to do it for very long. "I'm tired of crying," he said after a few minutes, pulling back from Kagami with an exhausted sigh, his hands shaking. "I've been crying so much lately."

"It's okay," Kagami said again. "You've had a lot to cry about."

Kuroko nodded in acceptance, because what else could he do? It was true.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on mobile, so it's difficult to link, but haikyuusetters has made three illustrations of hugs in this story, and they are beautiful and heartbreaking. Please check [the cml tag on my tumblr](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/tagged/cml) to see them.

Kuroko was grateful when he stopped feeling everything quite so strongly. It took several days to reconstruct all of his barriers after they'd been so badly damaged by Friday's breakdown in the gym. During that time, every emotion struck him with stunning force, and since they were mostly negative emotions, it was very unpleasant and overwhelming. 

Of course, the loss of his barriers had also allowed him to feel good things during that time. Kagami and Aomine's care for him. Nigou's uncomplicated adoration. Midorima's fierce concern. Kise's sorrow on his behalf. He had even laughed, once, when Kagami and Aomine's combined idiocy had startled him into a burst of giggles. Kuroko could not remember the last time he'd laughed like that.

But those good things had been like small yellow lamps in a sea of dark blue. They were beautiful and shining, but they were almost swallowed by the grief that consumed Kuroko's every waking moment. Because, yes, grief was the right word to describe it. Kagami had mentioned it Monday night, and Kuroko had immediately understood that this was what he was feeling. 

Kuroko felt other bad things, too, like hurt and sorrow and shame at his inadequacy. Fear of the past, apprehension of the future. Uncertainty of his place in the world, inability to believe that he deserved all of the care and attention Kagami and the others lavished on him. But grief, that was the main one. Kuroko had lost his father, his family, his home, and even his basketball, and he mourned it all desperately. 

It made him tired. It made him unable to eat, his belly too full of sorrow to have room for sustenance. It made him ache physically as well as spiritually. So he worked very hard to make it go away, to bury it and suppress it until he did not feel it so immediately anymore. 

He knew it was not a permanent solution. He could still feel the undercurrent of grief below his feet, licking at his ankles and trying to drag him down. Not only that, but suppressing this emotion meant suppressing everything else, too. So the entire world became blanketed in fog that no one but he could see.

Kuroko had gotten very good at this over the years. When Akashi first told him to suppress his emotions on the court in order to vanish more completely from sight, he had grasped the idea instantly. He'd already been doing it at home when he needed to hide from his father, so he knew how to turn that ability on and off.

And now, Kuroko wanted it on. If this sea of grief never receded—and he was beginning to believe that it never would—then he would leave it on forever. Once the barriers were up, they would stay up.

By Tuesday, they were established again. A little shaky, not as strong as they used to be, but they were there. And Kuroko was grateful. 

On Wednesday, Aomine skipped practice at Touou and came to Seirin instead. Kuroko's first notice of this was a happy bark at the door of the gym. He sat upright from his slouch against the wall, a lightning bolt of excitement piercing the dullness that encased him. He looked over to see Aomine at the door, already leaning down to unsnap the leash from Nigou's collar. As soon as it was loose, Nigou bolted for Kuroko.

Kuroko got up on his knees to greet him, and Nigou dodged around Kiyoshi and crashed into him. Kuroko did his best to pet him as Nigou pranced around, nails clicking on the gym floor. Aomine meandered up behind him, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Tetsu." He eyed Kiyoshi warily. "Hello, ah...senpai."

Kiyoshi gave him a serene smile. "Kiyoshi Teppei. You take the tree from the song..."

Aomine stared at him, eyes slowly growing wider and wider, as Kiyoshi introduced himself the way he always did, singing included. Then he looked to Kuroko, a question clear in his eyes. _Is this guy crazy?_

Kuroko smiled. "Hello, Aomine-kun. I wasn't expecting you today."

"Yeah." Aomine fell down into an easy crouch in front of him, hands trailing down to the floor, and craned his head so he could stare into Kuroko's face with narrowed eyes. "Is your fever better? You're still flushed."

"I'm fine. Please don't worry about me."

Aomine frowned. "You don't look like you're fine. This is why I had to visit. I knew I wouldn't get a straight answer if I just texted you or something."

Nigou bounced between the two of them, under the impression that they were now going to play. Aomine scratched his back lazily as Nigou ran under his hand, and Kuroko ruffled his ears when he jumped into his lap. Nigou hopped out after only a second or two and ran back to Aomine.

"I truly am feeling better, Aomine-kun. Everyone has been very kind." A spark of genuine happiness lit in his mind, and he met Aomine's eyes with another smile, broader and longer-lasting than the one before. "I met Kagami-kun's father. Well, over a video chat, but still. He's very kind, too. It's easy to see where Kagami-kun got his spirit from."

"Oh, yeah?" Aomine settled back on his heels, tilting his head in consideration. "I knew Kagami took to that adoption idea. He was all sparkly-eyed over it as soon as the word left Midorima's lips. What about your back? Is that getting better?"

Kuroko paused, eyebrows furrowing. Adoption? Hiroshi-san had said that he was going to be Kuroko's guardian, but adoption...? 

Aomine didn't notice his confusion. He had frozen, looking at Kiyoshi with a look of wide-eyed guilt.

Ah. He thought that he'd spilled Kuroko's secrets in front of a stranger. Kiyoshi smiled at them both, as cool and calm as ever. 

"It's all right, Aomine-kun. Kiyoshi-senpai already knows."

"Yeah?" Aomine rubbed the back of his neck, still not taking his eyes off Kiyoshi. "Everything?"

Kuroko hesitated, looking between his friend and his senpai. "Not everything I told you and Kagami-kun. But he knows why I'm no longer in my father's house."

Kiyoshi nodded gently. "I'm well aware of the wounds that mark our mutual friend, Aomine-kun. You have betrayed no confidence in speaking freely here."

Aomine grunted, then fell down on his butt on the floor, still mostly facing Kuroko but angled to include Kiyoshi in his line of sight, too. Nigou leaped around him, barking insistently. Aomine produced a chew toy from his pocket and tossed it away without looking where he was throwing it, and Nigou bounded after.

Aomine looked at Kuroko again. "Your back?"

"It's getting better. Kagami-kun has been using cold compresses. They're very soothing."

"Okay. Good."

Nigou brought the toy back to Kuroko and dropped it in his lap. Kuroko picked it up with finger and thumb, avoiding the slimy spots, and lobbed it along the wall of the gym. Nigou scrambled to follow.

Aomine looked even more uncomfortable than before. "And how are you...feeling?"

Kuroko raised his eyebrows. "...feeling?" He was pretty sure he'd just answered that question. Twice.

"You know..." Aomine waved his hands in front of him, making gestures like he was weighing something in his palms, or trying to grab a concept out of the air. "Inside."

"Oh. You mean emotionally." Kuroko gave him a smile. "That's better, too. Thank you for your concern."

Aomine studied him closely for a few moments, as if gauging the truth of that statement. "You do seem...more like yourself," he said.

Nigou returned with the toy again. This time Kiyoshi tossed it for him.

"I feel more like myself." Kuroko was pleased. Everything was returning to normal.

Aomine looked around the gym. Everyone besides the three of them was still practicing. They hadn't even paused when Aomine and Nigou arrived, as if such things were expected now. 

Aomine looked back to Kuroko. "So when are you going to start playing basketball again?"

Kuroko felt like he'd been slapped. He blinked rapidly at Aomine for a moment, trying to absorb the blow. 

"Now, now," Kiyoshi said, patting the air between them, "Kuroko still has a fever. He shouldn't push himself too hard."

"He could push himself a little, though." Aomine looked around again. It wasn't hard to find a basketball in the Seirin gym. He spotted one along the wall, then rose gracefully to his feet to retrieve it and brought it back to where Kuroko and Kiyoshi still sat. "C'mon, Tetsu. Let's do some passes."

Kuroko remained where he was. Every muscle was locked in place. "I don't want to."

The barriers trembled.

Aomine frowned. "C'mon. We'll go slow. Just floor bounces. Like playing catch with a baseball. Except better, 'cause this is basketball." To demonstrate, he bounced the ball against the floor, then caught it in both hands.

Kuroko shook his head. "I don't want to."

"Why not?" Aomine crouched in front of him again, holding out the basketball as if he was about to thrust it in Kuroko's face. "You still love basketball, don't you?"

Kuroko's hands curled into fists, and he fought to keep himself from recoiling. Nigou yipped anxiously, and Kiyoshi shushed him and scooped him into his lap, keeping him out of the way. Kiyoshi watched them both with great concern, but made no move to interfere.

"I still love basketball," Kuroko forced out, his voice shaking. "But I don't think basketball loves me."

"You mean what you said earlier, right? About how you felt like your basketball got taken away? Well, I don't believe that." Aomine shook the basketball in his hands and came dangerously close to forcing it into Kuroko's space. "I think you can do it if you try. C'mon, just some passes. You love passes. You're great at them."

"I refuse." The barriers were loosening at the seams. Everything was welling up again. Kuroko pushed it all down as hard as he could, but it was like trying to throw back the tide with a bucket.

"Dammit, Kuroko, what is wrong with you?" Aomine straightened to his feet, staring down at Kuroko with his expression twisted in disgust. "This isn't like you at all. Why won't you even try?"

"Because I don't want to!" The barriers were bursting, tumbling down around his head. Kuroko fought to his feet and faced Aomine straight-on, his hands clenched into fists and trembling in front of him. Tears were welling up and he hated it, he _hated_ it, he was sick of crying, sick of being weak, sick of everything. "I don't want to know for sure that it's gone for good!"

Aomine started back a bit at the sudden motion, face paling, but then he held firm. "But it's not, Tetsu. It can't be gone."

"You're only saying that because it's what _you_ want to believe! You don't know what I feel inside myself, you can't know how...how twisted up and awful it is in there, you don't know..."

"Tetsu..."

Kiyoshi was making noises. He had risen to his feet, too, still holding Nigou in his arms. Neither of them paid any attention to him.

Kuroko swiped his arm over his face, trying to get rid of the tears. "If I don't try, at least I can pretend that everything will be okay, even though I know that's not true. But if I try again, and fail again, then I'll know for sure, and I don't, I can't...I don't want to..."

Aomine shook his head over and over again, but Kuroko didn't have the patience to listen to him, nor to Kiyoshi. A sudden burst of anger overwhelmed him, washing everything else away. He welcomed it with both arms, because it dried up his tears in the sudden heat. He'd had enough of tears.

"Why can't you let me have that? Why can't you just let me pretend? Why are you always so selfish, Aomine-kun?"

Aomine had never been one for restraint. He rose to the challenge at once, anger darkening his face in return. "Because I want my friend back, Tetsu! I want you back, that's all! Is that so hard to understand?" And he forced the basketball into Kuroko's hands, which had been spread in front of him in an effort to physically keep Aomine away from him.

Kuroko's hands closed around the basketball, clamping down on the pebbled surface. He was still shaking all over with rage, but something dark began to bubble up in his chest, building and building. "And what if I'm not the same, Aomine-kun? What if I'm never the same again? What if I can never play basketball? What use would I be to you then?"

"Then you would still be my friend, and I would still care about you and still want you to be all right!" Aomine yelled. "That would never change, not ever! Playing basketball with you is a bonus, and it's _great,_ and I would be very sad to lose that, but not even _close_ to as sad as I would be if you weren't okay!"

Kuroko shoulders shook. He panted for breath. "Then why do you care so much if I don't play basketball with you right now?"

"Because it's not like you! You never give up! Never! Even when everyone told you to quit, when everyone said you were useless, you didn't stop trying. You found a way to get through it, to make your own basketball, and you worked and worked and worked. You worked so _hard,_ and I don't want you to give up without trying now, at the very end, because that would be terrible." 

Gradually as he spoke Aomine's voice calmed and lowered. He took a step closer to Kuroko, then another. All other sounds in the gym had stopped. No squeaking of shoes, no bouncing of balls, no whistles from the coach or shouts from the players.

"Tetsu who doesn't try is not Tetsu at all," Aomine said, his voice low and fierce. The anger in Kuroko's chest burned away in the force of it, like a blast of cold wind. The darkness surged and bubbled, overtaking him. "That's what I mean when I say I want you back, Tetsu. That's all. I want you to be okay."

Kuroko backed away. He stumbled over his own feet, but he remained standing. The ball in his hands shook wildly. "But I'm not."

He threw the ball at Aomine as hard as he could and ran out of the gym.


	27. Chapter 27

Kagami yelled a lot, of course.

"Idiot, idiot Aomine! What were you thinking? Or did you think at all?" He advanced on Aomine with his hands clenched into fists, practice abandoned.

Aomine didn't back down, but he did cross his arms over his chest in a defensive posture. "I was just trying to help! He said he was feeling better!"

"That doesn't mean he was ready for _that!_ Why did you keep pushing when he told you no? _Several times?"_

"I was trying to help! I thought he could do it if he tried!"

"Idiot!" Kagami was in Aomine's face now, still shouting at the top of his lungs. Every muscle was taut, and tendons stood out on his neck. "Kuroko is _hurt!_ You don't go to someone with a broken leg and tell them that they can run a marathon if they just _try hard enough!"_

Aomine opened his mouth to reply, then paused. He closed his mouth for a moment, scowling. Then he yelled back, "Well, I didn't think of that!"

Mitobe and Koganei looked at each other. They didn't know the details of what was going on with Kuroko, but they knew it was something bad. The whole team had heard him sobbing outside the gym last Friday, though they all tried to pretend that they hadn't. Kuroko and Kagami had skipped weekend practice, and then this week Kuroko had been quiet and withdrawn, as if he had been forced to retreat inside himself to recover from whatever had happened to him.

And now this. Aomine had gone about trying to help in absolutely the wrong way, but he was right. It wasn't like Kuroko to give up. It wasn't like him to run away. But that was exactly what he had done.

"Shut up, both of you!" Hyuuga ordered, stalking toward them with his fists clenched, too. "That's not important right now. We need to go find Kuroko, wherever he went."

Coach Riko nodded urgently. "That's right. The forecast said it's going to rain today, and he ran out in only a t-shirt. It's already cold. We need to find him right away."

Kagami disengaged from Aomine without a word and stomped out of the gym, pausing only long enough to scoop up Kuroko's jacket from where it lay along the wall. Aomine was at his heels. The rest of the team followed, Kiyoshi still carrying Nigou. Outside the gym, they fanned out to cover the area.

Mitobe followed Koganei into a narrow lane between the gym and the building next to it. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, but Mitobe trusted his friend's instincts. They weren't a one hundred percent sure-fire solution, but when they hit, they hit dead on.

The school had planted bushes along the sidewalk back here. They were big and leafy now, flourishing in the new spring. Koganei trailed his hands through the bushes, enjoying the touch of nature in this urban environment. Then he paused, turned, and parted the bushes with his hands.

Mitobe leaned down to look. Kuroko sat there, hidden behind the bushes, his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His eyes were enormous and pleading. "Please don't tell anyone I'm here," he whispered.

Mitobe and Koganei looked at each other. Mitobe raised his eyebrows. Koganei nodded. Then they pushed their way into the bushes and sat next to him, one on either side. The bushes sprang back into place as they moved, hiding all three of them in a leafy green cave.

Coach was right—it was cold out today. Kuroko's arm felt too cool where it touched Mitobe's, though he hadn't begun to shiver yet. Mitobe took off his jacket, and he and Koganei worked to wrap it around Kuroko. It was big enough on him that they were able to zip him into it without making him move at all. The empty sleeves trailed to the ground, and Kuroko hugged his knees tighter to his chest and ducked his chin below the collar of the jacket, his eyes half-closing.

Then they sat quietly. They could hear the voices of their teammates, some calling Kuroko's name, some talking to each other. Kagami and Aomine still sounded angry, though they were calming down, worry replacing their irritation with each other. Nigou yipped, and Kuroko opened his eyes wider at the sound, then closed them almost shut again.

He huddled into himself. "I'm not okay," he whispered.

Mitobe looked at Koganei. Koganei wrinkled his nose in question, and Mitobe nodded. Koganei slouched down next to Kuroko.

"Mitobe says that that's okay."

Kuroko looked at him, then at Mitobe. His eyes were narrowed almost in suspicion.

Koganei shrugged. "He means it's okay to not be okay. You don't have to be okay. Something really bad happened to you, right? So it's normal to not be okay for a while. It makes everyone sad and worried, because we _want_ you to be okay, but we understand why you aren't."

"Oh." Kuroko stared forward again. He ducked his head even further into the jacket, so only his nose and eyes peeked above the collar. "I don't want to make people sad and worried."

"You can't help that," Koganei said. "Everyone feels how they feel. You can't make them feel otherwise. You just need to take care of yourself right now. And let us take care of you, too, if that's all right with you. That's the best thing you can do for us."

"All right. Thank you." Kuroko let his eyes fall shut and just sat there, resting.

Mitobe and Koganei watched over him. Mitobe's heart ached. He couldn't help thinking what it would be like if this was one of his little brothers or sisters who was so hurt and quiet and afraid. If it was one of them, Mitobe would know what to do.

Well, he could try, at least. Mitobe leaned over and bumped his shoulder gently into Kuroko's to warn him, then reached up and started petting his hair. Kuroko's eyes opened wide in surprise at the first touch, his body stiffening for a moment. But he relaxed almost immediately, eyes falling shut again, head falling forward to rest on his knees.

Kuroko's hair was soft. Mitobe ran his fingers through it, slow and repetitive. He wished he could do more, but for the moment, this seemed to be helping. Even if it was only a little bit.

The sounds of their teammates' voices were getting farther away. Mitobe regretted making them worry unnecessarily, and he was sure that Kuroko felt bad, too. But if Kuroko needed to hide for a little while until he felt strong enough to face everyone again, that was all right. Mitobe would stay with him until he was ready.

On his other side, Koganei hunched down, scooting closer to Kuroko until their shoulders pressed together. "Hey, Kuroko," he said in a low, urgent voice, as if he was sharing a secret.

Kuroko's voice was muffled in the material of the jacket. "Yes, Koganei-senpai?"

"You know everyone on the team really cares about you, right? We all like you very much."

Kuroko let out a tiny snort. "I don't know why."

Koganei looked at Mitobe over Kuroko's head. His eyebrows were high. Mitobe shook his head, frowning.

Koganei looked back to Kuroko. "Well, part of it is because you're amazing at basketball, of course. We would never have won the Winter Cup without you. But mostly it's just because you're very likeable."

"But why?"

Mitobe pressed a hand to his chest, though his other one did not pause running through Kuroko's hair. Why would Kuroko sound so confused by this statement? Koganei was shocked into silence, eyes going wide. He cast a worried glance to Mitobe, then did his best to respond.

"Well... Because you are. I can't think of a single reason not to like you."

Kuroko was silent for a long moment. Then...

"Tell that to my father."

Mitobe had to strain to hear that one. Kuroko's voice was small, and bitter, and very, very sad.

Koganei hesitated, tilting his head, then tried again. "It's okay if you have trouble believing that right now. But I wanted to let you know, anyway. Even when you don't feel like it's true, even when you're having a hard day, or a hard month, or a hard year, there are lots of people who love you."

They were quiet again. The voices were getting closer now. Mitobe could hear Nigou barking, loud and sharp. Maybe they had finally gotten smart and set Nigou down so he could go find his master.

Kuroko tensed up between them and began to tremble. It was barely there, little more than a light shiver that could have been attributed to the cold. But Mitobe and Koganei both understood. He wasn't ready yet.

Koganei patted Kuroko's shoulder and rose up to a crouch. "I'll try to delay them for a while. Everything will be okay, Kuroko."

He pushed his way out of the bushes again. Mitobe listened to his footsteps recede down the sidewalk. Kuroko let out a shaky sigh, and his trembling eased but did not disappear. Mitobe stroked his hair.

"Mitobe-senpai, can I tell you a secret?"

Kuroko turned his head to look at Mitobe with one eye. Mitobe considered, then nodded solemnly. He brushed the hair back from Kuroko's forehead.

"My father beat me, Mitobe-senpai. He beat me with a strap. Over and over again."

Mitobe caught his breath. His fingers, buried in Kuroko's hair, stayed where they were. He could feel the warmth of Kuroko pressed against his side, the trembling of his head against his palm. Tears filled Mitobe's eyes, and he did nothing to stop them.

Kuroko smiled, thin and watery. "You're the first person I told who didn't know already. And hey, look at that? You're upset, too. I'm sorry."

Mitobe shook his head.

"He hit me, too. And called me names. He said I was a worthless creature. He said I deserved the way he treated me. I knew it wasn't true, but... I think I started to believe it, anyway. He had so much power over me... I wasn't strong enough to resist him."

Mitobe started stroking his hair again. His hand was shaking now, too. Rain began to fall, light at first, one drop at a time. Most of it was caught by the leaves above their heads, but soon it would start pooling down on them. Mitobe hadn't cooled down from practice. It would be dangerous to stay out here much longer.

Mitobe remained where he was.

Kuroko turned his head to hide his face again. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "It wasn't fair of me to put that burden on you without any warning. I'm taking advantage of your kindness. It just... It felt dishonest to sit here, letting you comfort me, when you didn't even understand what was going on. When you didn't even understand what kind of person I am."

Mitobe shook his head. His pressed his hand against Kuroko's head, holding him firm, and wrapped his other arm around the small, curled-up bundle of limbs and sadness that Kuroko had become. His lowered his head over Kuroko's, shielding him from the rain, but a couple of his tears dripped out and landed on Kuroko's forehead, instead.

"I don't need Koganei-senpai to interpret what you mean, this time," Kuroko murmured. "Thank you, Mitobe-senpai. You are kind and wise."

They stayed there, hiding, until Nigou found them. The bushes parted to reveal the worried faces of Aomine and Kagami, the rest of the team right behind. Koganei was somewhere in the back being scolded by the captain for trying to lead them astray. Mitobe remained curled around his wounded teammate and would not let them pry him off until Kuroko began to move on his own.

Even then, he stayed close by. He wouldn't leave until Kuroko told him to. And Kuroko didn't.


	28. Chapter 28

Kuroko didn't want his own jacket back. He seemed perfectly happy to drown in Mitobe's. Which was...not really a surprise, Kagami supposed. Kuroko had run away behind the gym and hidden in some bushes, for pity's sake. He obviously needed to feel sheltered for a while, and Mitobe and Koganei had provided that for him.

Mitobe didn't want his jacket back from Kuroko, either. He hovered around Kuroko like a lanky bear, unwilling to be separated from him. The dampness on his face might have been the rain. Might have been.

The rest of the team hustled the rain-soaked duo back into the gym, and Furihata and the other first years fetched towels to rub Mitobe down. Mitobe accepted the handling with as much grace as he could, though he grimaced when they forced circulation back into his shivering limbs. Kuroko was not in as bad a shape, since Mitobe had protected him, but he was chilled. He let Kagami sit next to him and put an arm around his shoulders, but he shrank away when Furihata held out a towel. No one forced him to accept a rub down.

Aomine kept a fair distance. It might have been of his own volition, or it might have been because Koganei had taken up glaring at him like it was his job. "Mitobe says you're a jerk," he told him at one point. Mitobe nodded, eyes narrowed in distrust.

Aomine looked properly ashamed, if not a little exasperated. 

It was up to Kuroko to restore the peace. Once everyone had calmed down a bit, and he'd had time to process everything, he looked up and met Aomine's eyes. He was currently sitting on a bench with Kagami on one side and Mitobe on the other, so perhaps he felt sheltered enough to deal with it now. "I'm sorry I called you selfish, Aomine-kun."

Aomine scuffed his shoe on the floor. "Well, you were right. I am selfish. Almost all the time. I shouldn't have pushed you, and I should have listened to you when you refused. You were right—I wanted to play basketball with you because it was what _I_ wanted. I want you to be okay because it makes me uncomfortable when you're not. Like...something is just wrong with the world when you aren't yourself."

Mitobe's eyes softened, and he and Koganei exchanged a glance. The hostile tension in their shoulders started to ease. Kuroko just nodded slowly.

"I'm not okay, Aomine-kun. I'm really, really not okay. I was trying to hide, for a while, just how very much I am not okay, but it didn't work at all. So... I will try to be more honest, too. I need to stop pretending."

He looked at the team gathered around him, all watching him with concern while trying not to crowd him. He met the eyes of his coach and his captain, and Kiyoshi, who once again held Nigou cradled in his arms. Then he looked up at Mitobe, beside him.

"Thank you for listening to me earlier. It was selfish and cowardly of me to ask you to bear that secret, knowing already that you would never tell anyone else."

Mitobe shook his head and smiled sadly, then reached up to pat him on the head.

"Mitobe says..." Koganei started.

"I know." Kuroko gave him a smile. He looked back to Mitobe. "I know you don't mind, that you are happy to help me carry this burden. But it still wasn't fair of me. You won't even tell Koganei-senpai, and the two of you share almost everything." 

He drew a deep breath and looked around at everyone again. "So I think... I think I should just tell you all what's going on with me. Why I'm not okay. Why I might not be okay for a long time. Half of you know already, and it's not fair to ask you to keep secrets from your teammates. You all deserve to know. You are all my precious friends, and I don't want to pretend in front of you anymore."

Kagami was amazed. Just a few days ago, Kuroko hadn't even been able to share his troubles with Aomine, one of his oldest friends. But today he had been able to tell Mitobe? And now he wanted to tell everyone else? Kagami eyed the tall senpai on Kuroko's other side with renewed respect. Mitobe must have succeeded very, very well at making Kuroko feel safe and secure.

"Kuroko..." Coach Riko's voice was hesitant. She must be remembering, too, how impossible it had been for Kuroko to share this on his own just last Friday. "You don't have to do this."

Kuroko shook his head gently. "No, I... I think I do. I think I need to."

But then he went still. He stared down at his lap, his hands curled into fists clutching the fabric over his thighs. The sleeves of Mitobe's jacket bunched around his wrists and hung loosely around his shoulders, making him seem smaller and more fragile than he really was. 

The team all but held their breath. Furihata and Fukuda exchanged glances. Izuki watched Kuroko without blinking, his entire being radiating stillness and waiting. Koganei looked at Mitobe, as if expecting that he might learn the truth there, but Mitobe shook his head, his eyes on Kuroko.

Finally, Kuroko raised his head again. His face was pale, but his jaw was set. "I had to leave my home last week. I can't live there anymore. My father was..." He paused, gulping. He looked like he might be sick. But he pushed on. "My father was hurting me. Very badly. He hit me. He beat my back until it bled. He called me a demon and said he had to punish me to turn me human.”

Furihata's knees slowly gave way, dropping him to the floor of the gym in utter silence. He knelt there, his arms wrapped around his middle, devastated. Fukuda and Kawahara gripped each other's forearms, their faces drawn in dismay. And still Kuroko’s voice went on, gently destroying them all.

“I did my best to fix it, but I couldn't. It just got worse and worse. So I had to leave. I didn't want to, but I had to."

He was shaking now. Tremors ran through his body like a low-level earthquake, vibrating his limbs and rattling his voice. Kagami pressed him tight into his side, and Mitobe scooted even closer to him on the bench.

"My body still bears the marks, though they're healing," Kuroko continued. His voice was soft and clear, even as it trembled. It seemed to ring in the silent gym. "But I've begun to realize...that my soul carries marks as well. So I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I don't know when I'll be okay again."

Tsuchida wrung his hands together until his knuckles turned white. Izuki still stood where he was and watched Kuroko without blinking, though his eyes had begun to water. Koganei crept over to Mitobe and leaned against him. 

Kuroko looked around at them, taking in what his words had done. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t want to hurt you all with this. I kept it a secret partly because of that, and partly because I was ashamed. I have been told, many times, that none of this is my fault, but I don’t believe that yet. So I will beg your forgiveness for telling you this and ask for your patience in the days ahead. I want to be with this team. I want to play basketball again. I want to be myself, whole and complete and unafraid. So I will try to get there again. Please wait for me.”

Silence held for a moment, thick enough to cut. Then Hyuuga stepped forward, his entire body stiff with pain, hands bunched into fists at his side with nothing to fight. “Of course,” he said, his voice harsh and intense. “You don’t even have to ask. We’ll wait as long as we have to. We’ll do whatever we need to do. We want you back, Kuroko, and we always will. If you reach out to us, we’ll reach back to you. We’ll grab your hands and pull as hard as we can. Give us half a chance, and we’ll prove it to you.”

Kuroko sat still for a moment, his eyes wide, stunned into silence. Then he smiled and looked down. His hands loosened in his lap, releasing the fabric he’d been clenching. “Somehow I hoped you might say something like that.”

“We all mean it,” someone else said. It could have been anyone. There was a general murmur of agreement, a building of energy in the gym. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room while Kuroko shared his secret, taking away everyone’s ability to breathe, but now it returned with the fierce determination of their captain.

“We’ll take care of you.” 

“Everything will be all right.” 

“Anything you need, just let us know.” 

“We want you to be well, Kuroko-kun.” 

“Can I punch him? Tell me where he lives so I can go punch him.” 

Kuroko smiled, slow and resigned. He shook his head, then looked up, taking it in. “You are all very kind. But please don’t punch my father again. It will not improve anything.”

“Oh, someone already punched him? That’s a start, then.”

Kagami squeezed Kuroko’s shoulders, shaking him gently, and dared to grin. “That was a good speech, Captain. But what was with the corny lines, huh? ‘We’ll grab your hands and pull back’? How is that any better than what I said during the Kaijou match?”

Hyuuga turned very red. “Cheeky...little...kouhai…” he sputtered out, but he didn’t really have a rebuttal.

The tension broke for good. Someone laughed, then someone else. Izuki turned away and wiped the tears from his eyes, but he was smiling. Furihata got back to his feet, and Fukuda patted his back while Kawahara ruffled his hair. Some of the attention that had been making Kuroko tense and uncomfortable began to drift away. 

“Better watch out, Kagami, or Captain will karate chop your head!” Tsuchida called, and Kiyoshi snickered behind his hand. 

Coach Riko rolled her eyes at them all and called for cool-down. A few of the players moved back to the court to start cleaning up. Practice was effectively over for the day. They were all too off-balance now to get any good out of further drills. 

Mitobe patted Kuroko’s head, then rose to his feet to join the work.

“Mitobe says you’re very brave, Kuroko,” Koganei said. “Me too.” He sounded choked up, but entirely sincere. He waved his hand and hurried after his buddy.

Kuroko shook his head and glanced up at Kagami. “I don’t feel brave,” he confessed. “I felt desperate, like I didn’t have a choice. It was too much to keep inside myself, so I had to let it burst out, even knowing what a mess it would make. I don’t deserve any admiration for this.”

“It was still brave,” Kagami said. “You did something you were afraid of. That’s brave. I understand why you don’t feel that way, but I think we can choose for ourselves whether or not we think you deserve admiration. And we do. You’re much stronger than you think you are.”

Kuroko huddled into Kagami’s side, shivering. “Don’t praise me,” he muttered. “I can’t accept it right now.” 

Kagami sighed, but fell silent and allowed him his space. At least Kuroko was being more assertive about his needs again. That had to be a good thing. It had been disconcerting, how quiet and passive Kuroko had been over the last few days.

Finally, Aomine approached and sat on Kuroko’s other side, though he was careful to leave some distance between them on the bench. “I truly am sorry, Tetsu,” he said. His face was red and strained, as if he had to struggle very hard to work up to those words.

Kuroko shook his head, rubbing it into Kagami’s side. “Don’t worry about it. I know you meant well. And maybe...maybe I will do some floor bounces with you later. Just...to see.”

“Really?” Aomine’s face lit up.

“Not yet. Not today or tomorrow. Maybe…” Kuroko’s body tensed. It was difficult for him to set this goal, but he knew he had to do it. “Next Monday?”

Aomine nodded, his face opening in relief. “I’ll be here.”

Kagami smiled. “Sounds good. But today...let’s go to Maji Burger.”

Kuroko pulled away from his side and looked up at him. Exhaustion dragged at his limbs and weighed down his eyes, but there was a spark of interest there, even so. “Vanilla shake?”

Kagami grinned. “You want vanilla shake? I'll get you ten. You deserve it.”

Kuroko shook his head, but a small smile was playing on his lips. “One is sufficient, thank you.”

“One vanilla shake it is, then.”

It was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this is another chapter drawn from my experience. It's very hard to tell people, even when you know they won't reject you. I had a mental breakdown in my third year of college, stemming from what happened to me when I was a child. I was on a leadership team at the time, and I chose to share with them what was going on with me. It wasn't quite as dramatic as this, but the feelings were very similar. People told me I was brave, but I didn't feel brave at all. I felt small and helpless and desperate. I don't feel brave now, either. This is just a story I have to tell, that's all. 
> 
> But if you have similar problems, let me tell you—it helps to share. The more people who know, the more diluted it becomes. The world becomes less and less split up into "those who know" and "those who don't" as you lose track of how many are in the first group. Not everyone may respond well. Some may not care. Some may see you differently, just as you fear. Still tell them. It's not your secret, anyway. It's the secret of the person who hurt you. With each person you tell, you are striking back at the rules they forced on you. Break them all.


	29. Chapter 29

Kuroko's fever never really went away, and by Thursday afternoon it was worse again. He got dizzy in class and spent basketball practice sitting out by the wall as usual, this time dozing through much of the time. Pretty much the entire team gave him their jackets, and he ended up napping in a pile of them.

He was too out of it to be embarrassed and simply smiled sleepily whenever anyone asked how he was doing. Kiyoshi kept him hydrated. Coach Riko told Kagami to just take him home, but Kuroko shook his head and said that he liked being with everyone, so that idea died immediately. It sort of reminded Kuroko of the blanket fort, except much bigger and with many more inhabitants. It was probably the fever addling his brain, though. He felt warm and sheltered, anyway, and he couldn't imagine a better place to rest up.

"I think you should stay home from school tomorrow," Kagami told him when they got home and Kuroko would have walked straight into a wall if Kagami hadn't grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Kuroko nodded slowly, trying not to move his head too much. His vision was swooping and he was well aware that he would fall straight over if he tried any sudden movements.

Kagami sighed. "I'll run a bath for you. Do you think you could eat some miso soup?"

"Maybe." 

"If this gets much worse, we're going to the hospital."

"I don't want to, Kagami-kun."

"I know." Kagami stepped closer and placed the back of his big, cool hand against Kuroko's forehead. Kuroko leaned into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut. "But this is getting bad. I'm worried."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to worry you."

"I know. We'll keep an eye on your temperature, all right? And if I say we have to go to the hospital, please don't fight me."

"All right." It was the least Kuroko could do to thank Kagami for all of his kindness and care. But dread pooled in his stomach at the thought of going to a big, unfamiliar hospital to be examined by strangers. The marks on his back were still visible, though they were fading and no longer pained him much. He had shared his secret with many people, now, but they were all his friends. He still didn't want anyone else to find out. "Please do your best to keep it from coming to that."

"I will. But you have to follow my instructions."

"Yes, Kagami-kun."

The lukewarm bath was refreshing, and the soup filled him up without overwhelming his senses. Kuroko took a nap before the ten o'clock video call, covered with only a light sheet, cold compresses on his forehead and under his arms. Kagami woke him to take his temperature again when the time came, sitting on the bed with his body angled to watch Kuroko's face while he held the thermometer under his tongue.

It finally beeped, and Kuroko took the thermometer out of his mouth and handed it to Kagami. Kagami frowned harder than ever when he saw the readout. "Still 39.3. That's bad, Kuroko."

"But it's not dangerous, right?" Kuroko asked hopefully. "And it's lower than it was earlier."

"A little lower, yeah. But if it gets to 40, we have to go to emergency right away." Kagami sighed, shaking the thermometer in his hand. "Dad is not gonna be happy."

"You could...not tell him."

Kagami snorted, mouth twisting in a reluctant grin. "Yeah, right. You're not used to having a dad who cares about you. You don't understand how scary that man can be when he thinks I'm keeping something important from him."

Kuroko shuddered theatrically, but he had to smile, too. Over the past few nights, he had learned a lot about how very, very different Hiroshi-san was from his own father. It had been quite a journey of discovery. Already he had become less nervous when talking to Hiroshi-san, more confident and easy, knowing that he would be accepted with kindness no matter what he said or how he acted. 

"Well, he's already coming out this weekend. He should be able to stand another day." Kagami left the room and came back in a few moments with the laptop. "Okay, make some room. No, don't sit up, just scoot down a little."

They situated themselves with Kagami sitting at the head of Kuroko's bed, balancing the laptop on his knees while Kuroko lay on his side with his head resting on Kagami's thigh. Kuroko blinked at being thus presented with a very close view of the laptop screen. It was a little dirty. Kagami ought to clean it more often.

Kagami ruffled his hair and started the chat program. "I know you're tired, but try to stay awake long enough to say hi to Dad, okay? Then you can drift off if you want to."

Kuroko breathed out a silent sigh. "Okay."

They barely got through their usual greeting before Hiroshi-san started looking around. "Where's Tetsu-chan?"

Kagami chuckled softly and bent the screen down so that Kuroko's face showed on the inset window. "Here he is."

Kuroko blinked sleepily. "Hello, Hiroshi-san."

Hiroshi-san frowned and leaned closer to the screen, as if that would help him get a better look at Kuroko. "You've gotten worse."

"I'm fine. Just tired."

Hiroshi-san narrowed his eyes. "Taiga?" he demanded.

Kagami sighed. "His fever is 39.3."

"That's bad." Hiroshi-san's eyes did not waver from Kuroko's face. "Do you have any other symptoms, Tetsu-chan?" His voice softened when he spoke to Kuroko. "Are you coughing or short of breath?"

"I'm fine," Kuroko said again. "A little dizzy. Headaches, sometimes. And...very tired."

"Taiga?"

Kagami huffed. "He wheezes sometimes in his sleep. But no coughing or anything."

"It bothers me that it's been going on this long. When did it start?"

"Last Friday, as far as I know." Kagami combed his fingers through Kuroko's hair. "Right, Kuroko? You didn't feel sick before then, did you?"

"I...I don't know." Kuroko went very still. Already it was difficult to look back and remember the time before a week ago. It was like staring into a dark dream. 

If it only truly had been a dream. If only it would fade in the light and never trouble him again. But that was too much to ask for.

"I don't...I don't think I had a fever then," he said softly. "If I did, I didn't notice."

An awkward silence fell. Then Hiroshi-san shook his head. "Still, if it was Friday, that's already almost a week. That's not good, either. Tetsu-chan might have an infection of some kind. His body is fighting it, but he might need medicine."

"Or it might just be stress," Kagami said, still loyal to that theory. "Kuroko's been through a lot this week."

"I'm fine," Kuroko felt compelled to repeat again. "I'm tired, that's all."

"Then sleep," Hiroshi-san said at once. "We'll watch over you."

It was amazing, how reassuring Kuroko found this to be. It wasn't as if there was anything to watch against, not here, safe in the heart of the Kagami home. And yet with those words, spoken heartily and without hesitation, Kuroko's eyes began to drift shut. Kagami's fingers stroked through his hair, slow and calm, the slight pressure on his scalp easing the ache Kuroko hadn't known was there. And he relaxed in the warmth and the quiet and the company and felt everything begin to slip away. 

Kagami and his father continued to talk, though Kuroko did not follow the thread of the conversation. Something about Himuro, something about a lawyer, something about Hiroshi-san's plans for the weekend. A hint of anxiety crept into Kagami's voice, and Kuroko's attention drifted back toward wakefulness. He didn't open his eyes, though, nor did he move a muscle.

"I know Aniki is pretty certain of this plan," Kagami said, "But I didn't expect you to be so gung-ho on it, too. Do you really think it will work?"

"On the contrary, it's the only thing that's certain to work," Hiroshi-san said, strong and confident. "Think about it. What is the only thing that we are certain that man cares about? His position. His social rank. His public persona. He threw his son by the wayside to further himself. Of course it's valuable to him."

Hiroshi-san's voice was entirely disgusted. Kuroko didn't quite understand. Hiroshi-san was a successful businessman, too. Was he truly so disdainful of his own position?

But Hiroshi-san would never sacrifice his son to gain material success. Kuroko had only known him for a few days, but he was certain of that. It pained Hiroshi-san to be apart from his "Tiger Cub", and he went without sleep and comfort just to be able to talk to him once a week. 

"So that's our best leverage against him," Hiroshi-san said. "If we can credibly threaten his position, he'll do anything to appease us."

Kagami shifted uncomfortably, though he took care not to disturb Kuroko. "Yes, but blackmail? Really?"

Kuroko's eyes opened wide. Neither of them noticed. Kagami had tilted the screen back so that his father only saw his face again, and Kuroko did not move a muscle.

Hiroshi-san's expression was resolute. "Blackmail. It sounds sordid, but it's our best weapon in this case. We have evidence against him, plenty of it. If Tetsu-chan is willing, he could give us even more. With that, we can make that horrible creature agree to anything. Including signing away custody of his son, whom he does not value anyway."

Kuroko's heartbeat grew louder and louder, pounding in his head until it was all he could hear. Blackmail. Hiroshi-san was planning to blackmail Kuroko's father to make him give Kuroko up to his own guardianship. With what? What evidence?

The pictures. The pictures Kagami had taken with his phone that first night. But... But Kagami had promised... 

He had promised that Kuroko could do with those photos what he wished. They were supposed to be "just in case". They were supposed to be a last resort. Kuroko had been comforted by Kagami's promise that he could throw those photos away if he needed to. And now they were planning to use them as weapons against his father?

"Kagami-kun..." He choked on his own voice.

They went quiet immediately. Kagami’s hand paused in his hair, his fingers stiff. Kuroko pushed himself upward with difficulty, his elbows almost folding underneath him, and Kagami’s hand slid out of his hair and went to his arm to hold him up. Eventually, panting and exhausted, Kuroko found himself mostly upright, staring back and forth between Kagami and the laptop screen. Both father and son looked horribly guilty.

Kuroko looked at Hiroshi-san, then at Kagami. "You want...to blackmail...my father..."

Kagami grimaced. Hiroshi-san pressed his lips together. But they both nodded.

"Sorry, Tetsu-chan. We never intended to do something like this without your consent. But you've been ill, and we've been talking about it while you weren't listening...."

"For...for how long...?"

Kagami winced. "Since the first night we talked. Some of it was in English, though. Since then, you've fallen asleep in the middle of most of the chats, and Dad and I would discuss it then."

Kuroko's dizziness almost overwhelmed him. He would have swayed without Kagami's hand holding him still. "The first night we talked?"

"Yeah. I know you were too out of it to realize, but I told Dad pretty much everything. I told him how Aniki had had me take pictures, and then later told me that I should keep gathering evidence, that it would help us keep you safe from your father permanently..."

"And I understood why immediately," Hiroshi-san said. "Himuro was kind enough to try to hide it from Taiga, knowing that it would trouble his spirit, but I've been around long enough to know how you control a Japanese businessman. You threaten to make him lose face."

Kagami watched Kuroko carefully. "Abuse is a horrible thing," he murmured. "Every decent person knows that. If it became known that your father is abusive... Even if he wasn't prosecuted, he would still lose his social standing. No one would want to associate with him. He would never get another promotion. No self-respecting woman would ever be with him."

"I...I understand how it would work," Kuroko said. He blinked, hard, trying to force the world to remain in focus. "You would...threaten to release those photos. The only way he could stop it would be to give you what you want from him."

"All we want from him is you, Tetsu-chan," Hiroshi-san said. "He can keep everything else—his reputation, his assets, his miserable, grasping life. We just want you, safe and home with us for as long as you want to stay."

Kagami was biting at his bottom lip. Himuro had been right to think this would trouble his spirit. "I'm sorry, Kuroko. I know I said...you could get rid of those photos...no one would ever have to see... I promised you that I wouldn't do anything with them that you didn't want done, and now we've been talking about it behind your back for all this time..."

Kuroko blinked. He shook his head, slow, solemn, ignoring the way the room swooped around him. And he reached out one shaking hand and touched it to Kagami's mouth, stopping the awkward, halting flow of words. "Kagami-kun," he said gently. "Hush now."

Kagami went still. Hiroshi-san watched them from the screen.

Kuroko let his hand fall into his lap again. He drew a deep, shaky breath. "I want to stay here. With both of you. Forever. I want this to be my home. So whatever we must do, I understand. I consent. All right, Kagami-kun? I consent. You can use the photos however you wish. Whatever else I can do... Whatever other suggestions your brother had for ways I can give you more evidence, more weapons to use against my father... I will do it. I consent. Do you want to take more photos? I'll bare my back right now."

Kagami let out a breath in relief, his face opening in a slow, reluctant smile. Hiroshi-san's face glowed with pride. "Taiga," he said urgently. "Give Tetsu-chan a hug for me. Right this second, do you hear me?"

Kagami laughed and obeyed, tugging Kuroko into his arms and holding him tight. They both turned their heads to look at Hiroshi-san on the laptop screen, who watched them with a broad grin, his eyes soft and bright. Kuroko closed his eyes and basked in the sun. It was overwhelming, but he didn't mind. 

"I don't think we need more photos," Hiroshi-san said. "And that friend of yours...Midorima-kun? He brought over other physical evidence, preserved in plastic bags and delivered directly into Taiga's hands. He's a smart young man, that one."

Kuroko wondered what that "physical evidence" was, but he didn't ask. His stomach churned at the thought of finding out. The strap was probably one of the items. He didn't like the idea of it being in the same house as him. When this was over, maybe Kagami would burn it for him.

"Then what...what else...?" he asked.

Kagami drew back, holding Kuroko by the shoulders so he could look him in the face. "Just you," he said. "Just your courage. That's all we need. If you can talk, if you can tell your story one more time... We'll record it as a testimony. That, along with all the other things, will be more than enough."

Kuroko nodded. "All right," he said with barely a tremor. "I will. I will tell it as many times as I need to, if it means that I will get to stay here."

Kagami hugged him again, for himself this time.

"I know you don't think you're brave," he whispered, "but you are, Kuroko. You are the bravest person I've ever met."

Kuroko squeezed his eyes shut and clutched Kagami as hard as he could. He wouldn't cry. He was happy. There was no reason for tears.

"All right," Hiroshi-san said, his voice choked. "All right, good. I'm glad. But not tonight, Tetsu-chan. You're sick. Go to sleep. I'll be there sooner than you think. We'll be able to talk in person. You can tell your story then, one more time. Once and for all, and it will be done."

Kuroko nodded into Kagami's shoulder. Once and for all. He liked the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Kuroko in Mitobe's jacket](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/119316389181/thethoughtsthief-look-maychorian-i-made-a) by [thethoughtsthief](http://thethoughtsthief.tumblr.com/post/119289938612/look-maychorian-i-made-a-blue-kuroko-wearing)
> 
> I'm not sure how many chapters are left, but we're moving into the endgame now, folks. Thanks for coming on this journey with me.
> 
> Edited to add: MY PREDICTIONS ARE ALWAYS WRONG. IGNORE THEM.


	30. Chapter 30

Kuroko's fever was slightly better the next morning, and it never rose high enough that Kagami felt obligated to take him to the hospital. But he was still dizzy and uncomfortable enough that Kagami insisted he should stay home from school. "Don't worry about a note or anything," he said. "I'll have Dad call the school later."

"But...he's not my legal guardian..."

"Dad will figure something out." Kagami's voice was entirely assured. "Don't worry about it. Just go back to sleep. I'd stay with you if I could, but..."

Kuroko waved a hand, lazily shooing him away. Once again, he was in bed, Kagami sitting on the edge and watching his face. "Go to school, Kagami-kun. Stay for basketball practice. I'll be fine by myself."

Kagami slumped where he sat. "Fine, I will. But you have to keep hydrated. I'll bring you some tea before I go." He stood up and started to walk toward the door, then turned back. "And you have to keep checking your temperature, and if it gets too high call me right away and I'll come home and get you to the hospital. Or I'll meet you there, if it's bad enough. I'll leave the key so you can lock the door behind you if you have to leave. Unless you're too dizzy, then you should just call an ambulance. Or..."

He stopped, overwhelmed with everything that could go wrong. "You know what, I'll just stay here."

"Kagami-kun." Kuroko pushed himself upright, just to prove that he could. He only felt a tiny bit dizzy. He swung his legs over to put his feet on the floor, then slowly, carefully stood up and tottered over to Kagami so he stood face to face with him. "Kagami-kun. Go to school. I'll be okay. See? I'm standing. Everything is all right."

Kagami wavered, staring into his face. "If you're sure..."

"I'm sure." 

Kuroko shoved on Kagami's elbow to turn him around, then placed both hands on his back and pushed him through the door. He was weak enough that he wouldn't have been able to move him at all if Kagami had planted his feet, but Kagami played along and let Kuroko maneuver him around. "All right, all right," he said good-naturedly. "I'll go to school. You go back to bed."

Kuroko did as he was told. He lay there on top of the covers, staring up at the ceiling, until his eyes slipped shut. He was aware of Kagami bringing various articles to set on the nightstand near his head, but felt no need to open his eyes and check. Then, at last, Kagami gently ruffled his fingers through Kuroko's hair. "Feel better, little brother," he murmured in English as he padded away. Kuroko drifted off to the sound of Kagami locking the apartment door behind him as he left.

He woke every hour or so, the time chipped away by the clock on the wall. He drank the lukewarm tea Kagami had set on his nightstand, then shuffled into the kitchen to make more. His temperature remained steady—uncomfortably high but not dangerously so. Kagami had left packets of ramen on the counter in hopes that Kuroko would get hungry enough to want some, but he left them alone. The tea was enough.

Toward the middle of the day, Kuroko began staying awake for longer and longer periods. He curled up on his side and stared at the wall, or sprawled on his back and stared at the ceiling. His back almost didn't hurt him at all anymore, only twinging when he moved too quickly or stretched too much. 

Kagami had put up a few of his basketball posters on the walls, though others lay in a pile on the brand-new desk, recently assembled. Hyuuga and Kiyoshi had come over one evening and put that desk together, as well as Kuroko's new bookcases. It had been entertaining to watch them fight over every single step of the process. Kuroko smiled now, remembering it.

He was starting to feel well enough to be lonely. It was strange. In his father's house, the emptiness had been a blessing. He was grateful when his father wasn't home, when the quiet rooms echoed with every small movement he made, every breath that left his lips. He had missed Nigou, but he had also been glad that no one else was there to bear the burden of that place.

In the first few days after Kagami brought him here, Kuroko had desperately needed company. He had panicked internally every time Kagami left his sight, even for a few seconds. He was pretty sure that he'd done a good enough job of hiding it that Kagami wasn't aware, even now. That sense of clinging terror in his heart had faded, leaving Kuroko feeling more like himself, but he still wasn't quite ready to be alone.

Kagami's place was really nice. It was warm and comfortable, lit with golden sunlight streaming in all of the large, expansive windows. It felt like Kagami: big and bright and welcoming. But the rooms were empty now, filled only with the hum of appliances and the slightly wheezing sound of his own breath.

Kuroko wanted a vanilla milkshake. He wanted a blanket fort. He wanted to lean his head on Kagami's shoulder and watch a Ghibli movie. He wanted Hiroshi-san to ruffle his hair the way Kagami always did. He wanted to know for certain that he belonged here, always and always, that his father would never be able to take him back no matter how hard he tried.

Did that mean...the grief was gone? Kuroko prodded at himself, at the deeply hidden seat of his emotions, in curiosity more than anything. His barriers had fallen, and he had given up on rebuilding them. Everything had been so...raw. So immediate. But then he had told Mitobe his troubles, and then the team...

It had been frightening. Terrifying. But it had also been a relief. He didn't have think about it anymore. Didn't have to try to hide the way he flinched at sudden movements, his winces when he pulled at his sores, his need for companionship and comfort. Perhaps it was true that a burden shared was a burden halved, and shared with so many...

The grief was still there. Of course it was. But it was greatly lessened. And it was overlaid with new feelings, with Kuroko's happiness to be where he was, with his desire to stay here. With his trust in Kagami and Hiroshi-san and the Seirin team to care for him and keep him safe. He still missed his family and his home, and that was natural. There was a part of him that would always regret the way things had turned out. But he was also glad to have a new family. A new home. That was natural, too. 

The solution to Kuroko's grief had not been to hide it and suppress it and ignore it forever. The solution had been to air it out in the sun, to let other things flow on top of it. It was a welcome discovery.

But he was still lonely.

Kuroko drank more tea and went back to bed. He buried himself under as many blankets as he could stand. The gentle weight felt good, covering and sheltering him. He ducked his head down under the pile, too, leaving only a small opening to breathe out of. It was like a tiny, personal blanket fort. Or, well, maybe it was more like a turtle. Sleep came easily, despite the small, hidden ache of loneliness in his chest.

Kuroko was woken by the buzz of his cellphone vibrating against the surface of the nightstand. He pushed his head out of the shell of blankets and blinked sleepily at the wall. The clock showed that it was about time for school to end and club activities to begin. Kagami must be checking on him before he went to practice. 

Kuroko stretched out one hand, fumbling away from the blankets, and snagged the cellphone to pull it back to his face. He opened the messaging program, his eyes half-shut. He would just tell Kagami that he was fine, his fever hadn't risen, and then he would go back to sleep...

Kuroko's eyes opened wide. Wider. So wide that they hurt. The message wasn't from Kagami.

It was from his father.

From: Father  
>>Tetsuya, I'm sorry.

Kuroko's hand trembled. There were more messages.

From: Father  
>>I got the promotion. I started taking the medicine again, as I promised.  
>>I realized what I'd done. I'm so very sorry, Tetsuya. I'm the lowest of the low.  
>>I beg your forgiveness. Please come back home. It will never happen again.

The phone slipped from Kuroko's fingers. He covered his face with his hands. He was shaking hard now, shivering the pile of blankets that covered him. Why? Why now? He had just been starting to feel...happy. Something like happiness, anyway. Relief. Contentment. Hope.

This had to be a joke. It had to be some horrible prank of the universe. It couldn't be true. He must have read it wrong. The messages weren't really from his father. They were from...from...

The phone buzzed again, so near his face that Kuroko recoiled. His ran into the wall and hit his back so hard that the force stunned him and he lost his breath. Every last ache erupted in pain. And here he had thought that that was under control, too.

His hand shook wildly as he lifted the phone again and turned it toward himself so he could read the new message.

From: Father  
>>Someone punched me, didn't they? I deserved it.

That, at least, Kuroko could respond to. It took him some time to control his shuddering enough to push the right buttons.

To: Father  
>>Yes. You did.

More messages came hard and fast.

From: Father  
>>Tetsuya! Where are you? Are you at school?  
>>I thought you left. Or was that a dream?  
>>Please come home. I'll make up for everything I've done.  
>>I miss you, son. I was a fool. I love you.  
>>Please come back. Everything will be all right.  
>>Where are you? Please tell me where you are. I'll come and get you.

Kuroko's mind went almost white. His father? Here? 

No. Never. It must never be allowed to happen. Kuroko would do anything to prevent his new home from being tainted the way his old one had been.

And he couldn't go back there. He couldn't. No. No. _No._

From: Father  
>>I understand if you don't want to talk to me. That's why I thought a text would be best.  
>>I understand that I hurt you, and it will take time to prove to you that I'm sincere now.  
>>I truly am sorry, Tetsuya, I swear it.  
>>There has never been a more miserable man in all the earth.  
>>Please come back to me and let me prove myself again.  
>>I love you. I'm sorry. Please come back. 

Kuroko went very, very still. How many times had he dreamed of this? In the darkest times, when his father was beating him, or when he lay on his bed in the aftermath of another punishment, there were two things he had longed for with every corner of his aching heart. He had longed for death, so he wouldn't have to bear this torment anymore. Or he had longed for the father he knew to return, to rescue him from this monstrosity of darkness and hate, this twisted demon who gave him nothing but pain and despair.

But he couldn't believe this. He couldn't trust these words on a screen with nothing behind them. It could be a joke. Or a dream. Or a delusion. It could be nothing but the product of a lonely, fevered mind.

To: Father  
>>I can't come back. You don't understand what you did.  
>>You don't understand how badly you hurt me.  
>>How can you? You enjoyed what you did to me.  
>>I saw that in you. I can never forget that.

From: Father  
>>I know I can't understand. Please let me find out.  
>>If you can't come home, please meet me somewhere so we can talk.  
>>I will prove myself to you if it's the last thing I do.

Kuroko forced himself to breathe. Maybe... Maybe this was the best thing to do. Yes. To meet somewhere. To evaluate the situation. 

None of this could be true. It had to be a lie. But there was a pinprick of hope in his heart, now, and he could not deny that, no matter how painful it was. He had to know for sure.

To: Father  
>>The Maji Burger near Seirin High. One hour.  
>>I'll be sitting in a booth in the back. Sit across from me.  
>>Don't try to touch me, or I'll leave at once.

From: Father  
>>I understand. Thank you for giving me a chance, Tetsuya.  
>>I love you. I'll see you in one hour.

Kuroko set the phone down on the pillow and covered his face with his hands. He tried to breathe through his panic. What had he done? What was he doing? He had no idea.

But he had to go through with it now. He had to be at Maji Burger in one hour.

He gave himself five minutes to shiver and cry. Then he pushed the blankets off his shoulders, sat up, and put his feet on the floor. Fifty-five minutes.

He would be there.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I write fast when I'm excited. 
> 
> Check my tumblr for adorable art of Kuroko and Nigou.

"Taiga? Tetsu-chan!" 

Hiroshi stepped over the threshold of the apartment, the key rattling in the unfamiliar lock. He'd only been in this place a few times, but he still had a strong feeling of coming home. His sons lived here. There was no way it could feel like anything but home, no matter how rarely he visited.

No one answered, but Hiroshi wasn't surprised. Taiga had said that he was going to do his best to make Tetsu stay home from school today. He ought to be resting. Hiroshi would go find him in a minute. He couldn't wait to see his new son in person—couldn't wait to ruffle his hair and hold him in his arms. The boy deserved all that and more. He deserved everything that Hiroshi could give him.

He went to the kitchen, first. He was exhausted and jet-lagged, and he needed a glass of water. Taiga kept a tidy kitchen, in general, but there were several packets of ramen on the counter, as well as a half-empty pot of tea and a crumpled napkin. Hiroshi smiled crookedly at the sight. Tea was a cure-all in Japan. He wondered how many pots Tetsu had drunk since he started feeling sick.

Hiroshi gulped his water, along with some supplements that were supposed to help his body recover from the trip across the Pacific. Despite the weariness that dragged at the back of his mind, his heart was light and his movements were graceful. If Tetsu was asleep, he would need to be careful not to startle him. Hiroshi stepped quietly across the floor, heading for the bedrooms.

The door of the spare room—Tetsu's room now—was half-open. Hiroshi paused there, knocking his hand gently against the wall to announce his presence. "Tetsu-chan? It's Hiroshi." Then he leaned into the opening and looked around.

The room was empty. Hiroshi straightened, disappointed and surprised. The covers on the bed were mussed up, as if they had recently been used, and an empty tea cup and a thermometer rested on the nightstand. A t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants were scattered on the floor, as if Tetsu had changed clothes in a hurry.

Hiroshi stepped back into the hallway. "Tetsu-chan?" No noises from the toilet or the bath. He checked the other rooms in the apartment anyway, one by one. No sign of Tetsu anywhere, nor of Taiga.

He stood in the middle of the hall and considered. It did seem like Tetsu had stayed home from school, at least for a while, but he wasn't here anymore. School was over now and club activities would be going on. Had Tetsu started to feel better and decided to go to basketball practice? It was the only solution that made sense.

Well, maybe Hiroshi should have told Taiga and Tetsu his expected arrival time. He had wanted to surprise them, knowing they weren't expecting him till Saturday morning. If Tetsu had known he would be home soon, surely he would have waited to greet him.

There was nothing for it. Hiroshi would just have to go to Seirin and interrupt basketball practice. He couldn't wait any longer to see his boys.

The commute to Seirin was too long. All right, it wasn't that bad, but it felt interminable. Hiroshi didn't understand why he hadn't chosen an apartment closer to the school. What had his past self been thinking? This was ridiculous.

On the Seirin campus, he asked a student to direct him to the basketball gym. Then he paused just outside the door, listening to the pounding of the basketball on the gym floor, the shouts of young men and the squeaking of shoes. He had been happy when Taiga found something in America to ignite his passions, happy to encourage his love of the sport and the relationships he found there. But Hiroshi had never imagined that it could bring him another son. He owed basketball a great deal.

Hiroshi entered the gym in time to watch Taiga fly into the air, stretching for a dunk. Two defenders tried to stop him, but he slipped between them like a bird on the wing and slammed the ball home with a roar of joy. Someone under the basket seized the ball and dribbled away, and Taiga landed on both feet with his fists clenched in victory.

"Taiga!"

Taiga spun at the shout, eyes going wide. A giant grin appeared the moment he spotted Hiroshi across the gym, and he abandoned the game to sprint over to him. "Dad!"

Hiroshi firmed his stance just before Taiga crashed into him, preventing them from tumbling to the floor in a pile of limbs. He could swear that Taiga had grown even since the last time he'd seen him, filling Hiroshi's arms with an enormous bundle of sweaty, exuberant teenage boy. "Dad, you came early!"

Hiroshi squeezed him hard around the waist and managed to lift him up a handful of centimeters, and Taiga clung to his shoulders and laughed like a thunderstorm. Good lord, he had missed this boy. Damn the Pacific for being so wide.

"Put me down! Put me down!"

"Don't wanna," Hiroshi growled, but he could only hold Taiga up for a few seconds. He set him on his feet, and Taiga held his shoulders and beamed at him, broad and delighted. Hiroshi patted his cheek and looked around. "Where's Tetsu-chan?"

Taiga frowned, deflating a bit from his overwhelming happiness at seeing his father. "He's at home. His fever was still pretty high this morning."

Hiroshi took a step back. "But I was just there. He wasn't in the apartment. I figured he must have started feeling better and decided to come to practice."

Taiga stared at him, his face abruptly pale. All of the joy from their reunion had faded. "I haven't seen him."

"Kagami-kun?" A slip of a girl with limp brown hair moved up beside Taiga, her lips twitching in a forced smile. "Why did you see fit to abandon practice, hmm?"

Hiroshi raised his eyebrows. This girl was small, but she was formidable.

"Coach!" Taiga turned her, some of his worry fading, pleasure returning. He seemed oblivious to the threat of a scolding that lurked under her voice. "This is my father, Kagami Hiroshi. Dad, this is Aida Riko, my coach."

"Ah, Aida-san!" Hiroshi gave her a deep bow. "I'm pleased to meet you at last. Thank you for taking care of my son. You and your team have done nothing but good for him."

Coach Aida seemed a bit taken aback, but she adapted to the situation quickly. She gave Hiroshi a bow in return. "And thank you for lending your son to us, Kagami-san. He is a great asset to the team."

She seemed only slightly mollified when she straightened, though. "Kagami-kun, there is a three on three waiting for you."

"Sorry, Coach." Taiga wiped his face on his shoulder. "I haven't seen my dad for months. And now he's telling me that Kuroko isn't where we thought he was."

Coach Aida went still. "Kuroko is missing?"

"I was just at home," Hiroshi said, "and he wasn't there. He was supposed to stay put and rest today. I thought he must have felt better and come to practice anyway, but Taiga tells me he isn't here."

Coach Aida shook her head slowly. "We thought he was at home, too."

"I'll call him." Taiga was already running toward the gym bags against the wall. He pulled a cellphone from a pocket and selected a few buttons, then put it to his ear as he walked back to them. 

Hiroshi drew out his own cellphone, but it was useless. He didn't have Tetsu's information. He should have gotten it long ago.

Hiroshi and Coach Aida both watched Taiga anxiously. He stood next to them with his head down and his expression fierce, focusing on the ringing phone. After a minute or two, he looked up and shook his head. "It's going to voicemail. He's not answering."

"I didn't see a phone in his bedroom," Hiroshi said. "He must have taken it with him, wherever he went."

"I'll send him a text, anyway." Taiga lowered the phone from his ear and switched programs. Then he paused, his finger hovering over the buttons.

"Taiga?" Hiroshi pressed closer to him, trying to look over his shoulder at the phone. "What is it?"

Taiga looked up, his eyes wide. "I forgot." He lifted the phone so Hiroshi could read the message. "Kuroko sent me a text. It was right before basketball practice started, so I just read it quickly before I put my phone away."

Hiroshi squinted at the small letters on the screen. _Please come to Maji Burger after practice today._

"I thought he just wanted me to bring him a vanilla milkshake," Taiga said. 

Hiroshi gently took the phone from his hand. He stared down at the text, at these few, inadequate words. What was happening? Why this small, vague request?

Coach Aida craned her head to read the message, too. "It says 'come.' Does that mean that that's where Kuroko is? Or at least where he will be after practice?"

"Oh." Taiga took the phone back and blinked at it again. "I guess that makes sense."

"He really likes vanilla shakes, huh?" Hiroshi asked. His shoulders loosened in relief. 

"Yeah." Taiga was still frowning. "But then where is he now? He knows practice won't be over for a long time. Is he going to spend the whole time hanging out at Maji Burger? He should be asleep at home. I don't understand why he would do this. I'd be happy to bring him a milkshake."

"I'm sure he knows that." Hiroshi ruffled a hand through Taiga's hair. "Maybe there's something going on at Maji Burger, so he felt he had to be there."

"I don't know of anything." Taiga started tapping out a message on his phone. "I'll ask, anyway. If he doesn't answer... Guess I'll just have to go to Maji Burger, like he asked me to."

"I'll go now," Hiroshi said. "If he's there, we can get to know each other until practice is over for you guys. If he's not... Well, then we'll know that he's somewhere else."

Taiga nodded. His eyebrows were creased in worry. "I hope he's there. Text me right away when you find out, please?"

"Of course." 

After he sent the text, Taiga took Hiroshi's phone and added Tetsu's information, then opened the map application and put in the location of the restaurant. "Hurry, Dad. Please?"

"Of course." Hiroshi gave him another quick hug, then bowed to Coach Aida and hurried out of the gym. He halted at the door and looked back. Taiga still stood where he had left him, staring after him with worry in every line of his body. Coach Aida tugged on his arm, but she was completely incapable of moving him by physical force.

Hiroshi waved to him. "Enjoy your practice!" he called. "Everything will be all right! I'll take good care of Tetsu-chan, no matter what!"

Taiga nodded, once, then let Coach Aida shove him back toward the court. Hiroshi stepped through the door and onto the sidewalk. He clenched his phone in his fist, staring down at the map that would lead him to Tetsu.

What was happening to his son? Hiroshi had put up a brave front for Taiga, but the truth was that he was just as worried, if not more so. Tetsu had seemed so ill last night, dizzy and shaky. He'd had difficulty even sitting upright. And now he'd gone out into the city on his own. What could compel him to do that? Surely a vanilla milkshake was not enough of a reason.

Something must have happened. Hiroshi came to a crosswalk. The light was red, and he stared at it, willing it to change. He needed to get to Maji Burger. He needed to get there right away.

It didn't matter that nothing was official yet. It didn't matter that he'd never even seen this child face to face. Tetsu was his son, and he was sick. And he was alone and vulnerable in a very large, very busy city. The entire situation itched at Hiroshi's soul.

The light turned green. Hiroshi hurried across the walk, bumping into people as he went. They gave him dirty looks. He didn't care.

He had to get to Maji Burger right away.


	32. Chapter 32

Kuroko sat in a booth in Maji Burger, staring down at the vanilla shake he held in both hands. He had hoped that the cold drink would feel good in his over-warm mouth and throat, but instead it just seemed thick and cloying. It was difficult to swallow and had very little flavor. His stomach was turning over, again and again. Strange that something that had given him so much pleasure just the other day could be so repulsive now.

His cellphone rested next to his hand. Kuroko looked at it. He could send Kagami another text. He could ask him to come to Maji Burger right now, instead of after practice. Kagami would do it. He would bring the entire team if Kuroko told him why he was here.

But that wasn't what Kuroko wanted. He wanted a chance to find out, on his own, what the truth was. If Kagami came, he would bluster and fight and roar, and any chance of a calm discussion would be obliterated. 

Sometimes, of course, Kuroko appreciated it when Kagami blustered and fought and roared. He might even need it later today. Kagami's anger and indignation on his behalf, that first night when everything fell apart, had been Kuroko's first real clue that something was wrong with the path his life had taken. It had just...never occurred to him that there was another way. That he did not have to accept his father's treatment of him. Since then, Kuroko had learned a lot. He was a bit astonished that the Kuroko of a week ago could have been so blind and foolish.

"Tetsuya?"

Kuroko raised his head carefully so the dizziness did not get worse. His father slid into the booth across from him, just as Kuroko had requested. His nose was bruised and swollen, and his eyes were weary and rimmed with red.

"Hello, Father." Tension poured over Kuroko's body, tightening every muscle and stiffening every limb. It was a completely physical reaction to his father's proximity, reflexive and uncontrollable. He tried to make himself relax, but he couldn't.

How long had he been having this response to his father's presence? Kuroko honestly couldn't remember. He should have paid more attention to himself.

Father gave him a smile, soft and wavering. "Thank you for meeting me. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but it's like you to give me one anyway."

Kuroko's head spun. "I'm not...I'm not giving you a second chance," he said slowly. "I gave you a second chance...when I was eight. After the first time you hurt me. Since then, I have given you many, many more chances."

Father's lips flattened into a straight line. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

"Do you remember when I was ten years old, and I bounced a basketball too loud in the house, and you struck my face? I gave you another chance then. And when I was eleven, and crying because I missed my mother, and you shook me so hard that I bit my tongue and the blood ran out? I gave you another chance then." Kuroko blinked, his breath growing ragged. He hadn't thought of these incidents for years. 

He hadn't only been suppressing his emotions, it appeared.

Father nodded stiffly. "That's true. Both of those things are true. I'm sorry, Tetsuya. I have hurt you many times. Please forgive me."

"How many chances should I give you? How many will be enough?"

"At least one more. Please, Tetsuya. One more chance. It will never happen again."

"You said that before, too." Tears pricked at Kuroko's eyes. He looked down at the table and rubbed them away with the heel of his hand. "How can I believe anything you say when you've made so many promises, and broken them all?"

"Tetsuya..." The man's voice was choked. He started to reach out toward Kuroko, but stopped when Kuroko flinched away, hard, hitting his back against the wall behind him. Father raised his hands, open and conciliatory. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Please, Tetsuya, try to remember the good times, too. We used to watch basketball games together on the TV. I loved how excited you were, how you would chatter about how cool it was and how much you wanted to play. I was so proud when you found your own way to play in middle school. We used to go for walks in the park, do you remember that? Spring was the best. It's spring now. We could go for a walk now."

Kuroko shook his head. "No. No, we can't. You went too far, Father. You hurt me too much. I gave you many, many chances, and I can't do it anymore."

Father sat back, his hands falling slowly toward the table. "Are you saying... Are you saying this is it? You won't come home to me?"

Kuroko shook his head again. "I can't. That place is not my home anymore. All it holds for me now is pain and regret."

"Tetsuya..."

Father reached out for him again. This time he ignored Kuroko's flinch and pressed on. Kuroko pulled away and folded his hands against his chest, out of reach. "Don't touch me!" Terror beat in his chest, in his temples. Was he truly going to attack him in public, in the middle of a popular restaurant? He had hoped that setting their meeting here would prevent that.

Father had half-risen, reaching for him. Now he sat back down, his face flaming red, as Kuroko's raised voice drew attention from the patrons around them. He looked around, wary and fuming, until everyone's attention returned to their food. 

"Dammit, Tetsuya!" He pounded his fist on the table, making Kuroko jump. His voice was low and the motion was carefully hidden, but Kuroko's heart pounded in his chest. He felt like he was going to pass out. "How can you act like this? It was just a few mistakes. I've already apologized. What else do you want from me?"

Kuroko held very still. The tears had dried up, burning away in the heat of his fever. His face was very hot, now. He felt like he was standing in an oven, and his clothes seemed to scratch his skin everywhere they touched him. "You said you realized what you'd done. Do you...do truly not remember? Do you truly not understand why I can't go home with you anymore?"

Father nodded. "I know I hit you. I know I hurt you. I regret it. Why isn't that enough?"

"Father...you...you _beat_ me. With a strap. Not just once, but many times. Yes, you hit me too, and those bruises are still healing. A week and a half ago you slapped my ear so hard that it still aches now." He pulled at the collar of his t-shirt and hoodie to reveal the fading welt wrapped around his shoulder. "Do you not remember this? Do you not remember the way I cried and begged you to stop?"

Father pressed his hands flat on the table. His expression was tight and strained. His eyes flicked to the welt, then away, as if he couldn't bear to look at it. "I thought...I thought that was a dream. I hoped it was a dream. I hoped... I swear to you, Tetsuya, I would never do that if I was my rightful self. That was...not me. I could never do that to you. Never. That was someone else wearing my form."

Kuroko closed his eyes, swaying gently where he sat. This was what he had wanted to believe. What he had convinced himself to be the case. But it was not the whole truth.

He opened his eyes and faced his father again. "Even if that's so, the person who did that is inside of you. He's part of you. I can never believe that he won't return again. You...you made a choice to let that person come out. I asked you not to, and you did it anyway. I cannot trust your word that it won't happen again."

"But it won't, Tesuya." Father pressed his hands flat on the table and leaned forward. His eyes were intense, dark and flaming. Kuroko did his best to hold his ground. "I swear that it won't."

"I told you. You've broken your promises too many times. I can't trust you anymore."

"Dammit." Father looked away, his eyes narrowed. His hand clenched into a fist on the table. When he looked back to Kuroko, his eyes were sharp and hard. "I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this. I hoped that my sincerity and my love for you would be enough. I see I must accept that that is not the case. Enough of this. I am your father, and I am ordering you to come home with me. Now."

Kuroko trembled. He tried to swallow, but his throat was too tight. "No. I won't."

"You must."

"I refuse. I cannot."

"Dammit, Tetsuya." He slapped the table again, low and hard. His face was red again, but this time was pure anger. "I am your father. I have cared for you since you were born. I feed and clothe you and give you spending money to buy your precious books and posters. I let you have your choice of high schools, even though Seirin is inconvenient and expensive. I encourage your hobbies, even when it's clear that you don't have the talent or the physical aptitude for them. I have done everything I am supposed to do. So now you must be a good son and obey my command."

"A good son," Kuroko echoed. His lips felt numb. He could barely hear his own voice. "That's what you said...when you were beating me..."

"Well, I was right about that part, then." Father pointed a finger at him, his voice rumbling in his chest. "Be a good son. Do not trouble me with this nonsense. A good son does what he is told. A good son does not cause a scandal by leaving his father's house to stay with strangers."

"A scandal..." Kuroko felt hot and cold all over. "This is about...you wanting me to not cause a scandal..."

Father's eyes widened, and he sat straight. He seemed to realize that he had made a mistake. "No. It's because I'm your father, and I love you. I want you to come home with me."

Kuroko shook his head too quickly and almost fell over. "No... I understand now. You don't want me to cause a scandal..."

It was just like Hiroshi-san had said. It was all about saving face. His father had just earned a promotion. His social standing was higher now—his pay was better. He didn't want to lose what he had gained just because his son was hurting.

The tears came again, hot and bitter. Father said something else, but Kuroko couldn't hear him. He scrubbed at his face but couldn't make the tears stop. "You... Did you ever truly love me at all? Or did you hate me all this time?"

"No, Tetsuya." His voice was quiet, desperate. "Tetsuya, I love you, of course I do. Haven't I said so? You look just like your mother, and I loved her desperately. How could I not love you? You're talking nonsense. You must have a very bad fever."

"I do...I do have a fever...but I'm not talking nonsense..." Despite everything, despite the fever and the pain and the dizziness and the weakness, Kuroko felt that he was seeing clearly for the very first time. He rubbed at his tears, his hands shaking, but they continued to flow. The grief had risen, overwhelming him. "Yes, you have said that you love me. Many times. You have offered words upon words. But your actions do not match them."

He lifted his head to face his father, though he could only see him vaguely through the tears. "You told me what a good son does. But you don't seem to understand what a good father does. A good father does not beat his son until he bleeds. A good father does not call his son a monster. A good father does not break his son's heart, over and over again, for years. But that's what you have done."

"Tetsuya..."

Kuroko pressed his hands to his chest and blinked at the tears. He could feel the warmth inside him growing as he remembered. "I know what a good father does. A good father sacrifices his own comfort just so he can speak to his son, even though they are separated by an ocean. A good father wants to know everything about his son's life and is happy when he is happy. A good father is willing to miss important work so that he can fly to the side of a son who is sick or wounded."

"Tetsuya, what is this nonsense you are speaking..."

The tears slowed, then stopped. "You are my father, and you say that you love me. If that's true, you will release me now. Don't force me to go home with you to a place that terrifies me, with a man who tormented me. Please, please, Father, I'm begging you. Give up your rights to me and let me be adopted by Kagami Hiroshi."

He could see his father's face now. It was pale and drawn with emotion. Kuroko's entire body tensed again. Please, please, let this be enough. Let his father see that this was done now, and let him go.

"What..." Father's voice was a growl. "What nonsense is this... Who... What bastard are you describing? Kagami Hiroshi...?"

"The father of my friend, Kagami Taiga. You met Kagami-kun last week. Kagami Hiroshi is a good father, and he wants me to be his son." Kuroko's voice barely trembled at all. He felt stronger when he thought about Kagami and Hiroshi-san.

Father held still for a moment. His face slowly changed from pale to red again. Kuroko held his breath.

"No." The word was a harsh buzz of rage. "Never."

He rose from his seat, his body stiff with fury. Kuroko huddled into himself, helpless and frozen. He felt like a small animal under the eye of a predator. His father stalked over to his side of the booth and grabbed his arm, even though Kuroko tried to cower away. He started pulling him out by sheer force.

"Enough of this." He didn't care that people were looking at them again, either. "You're my son, and you're coming home with me. Right this instant, Tetsuya, do you hear me? You're coming home now, and I'll never let you go again."


	33. Chapter 33

Hiroshi was relieved when he spotted a shock of light blue hair through the window at Maji Burger. Tetsu was here. Thank every deity in existence. He pushed his way through the door, already pulling out his cellphone to text Taiga.

His step hesitated when he saw the man sitting across the booth from Tetsu. Average height for a Japanese man, dark hair, rumpled suit. Face twisted with anger. Broken nose.

Tetsu's father.

This all began to make a little more sense. Hiroshi's steps quickened, eager to take him there, but he was still several meters away when Tetsu's father suddenly stood up, moved to Tetsu's side of the booth, and started dragging him out by the arm.

"Enough of this." His voice was harsh, cruel. "You're my son, and you're coming home with me. Right this instant, Tetsuya, do you hear me? You're coming home now, and I'll never let you go again."

"Father, no!" Tetsu's voice was high with terror. He grabbed onto the table, the edge of the booth, anything he could to slow it down, but he was a child weak with injury and illness, and his father was a sturdily built man strengthened by his rage. "Please stop!"

"Oi!" Hiroshi was on them. He grabbed the man's wrist, hard, and twisted. Kuroko-san dropped Tetsu's arm with a gasp. Hiroshi shoved him away hard enough that he fell to the floor. Hiroshi was not sorry.

Tetsu scrambled to get away, pushing himself back into the far corner of the booth. Hiroshi turned to him, his heart jumping in his throat. This was not the way he had wanted their first meeting to go. "Tetsu-chan?"

The boy was small. He was smaller than Hiroshi had expected. Hiroshi had only ever seen him through the distance of a small, inadequate webcam, sitting with Taiga on a bed. He had been able to tell that Tetsu was shorter and slighter than Taiga, but that was hardly surprising, since Taiga had inherited Hiroshi's ridiculous genes. Seeing Tetsu in person was another thing entirely.

His cheeks were flushed dark red, even worse than they'd been last night. He had jammed himself into the corner of the booth, holding on to the table and the back of the seat as if to lock himself in place. His entire body was stiff with tension, and his knuckles were white.

He'd been crying. His face was still wet with tears. His chest heaved for breath, and his blue eyes were wide and astonished. "H-Hiroshi-san? Are you really here?"

Hiroshi nodded. His heart throbbed in pain. "It's me. I'm here. I came early. I had to see you as soon as possible."

Tetsu just stared at him, struggling to catch up. He looked like he was about to faint.

"Hiroshi-san?" Tetsu's father was on his feet again. His voice was a snarl. "You're Kagami Hiroshi?"

Hiroshi turned to him with a frown. He deliberately looked down his nose at the shorter man. "That is my name. You must be Kuroko-san."

It didn't seem right for this scum of the earth to share a name with such a sweet and innocent person as Tetsu. Hiroshi wished he could call him something else.

"I know who you are. You're trying to take my son from me."

Hiroshi took a step toward him, fuming. He could loom when he wanted to. He wanted to now. "No one took Tetsu-chan from you. You lost him all on your own."

Kuroko-san tried to hold his ground, but he was wavering already. Hiroshi entertained the hope that this was going to be easy.

"Father. Hiroshi-san." Tetsu's voice was small and trembling. "You're making a scene."

Hiroshi looked around. Several people were pretending not to look at them, though they couldn't help glancing their way now and then. A small child stared at them shamelessly while her mother tried to direct her attention elsewhere. A couple were rising from their seats to remove themselves from the uncomfortable atmosphere.

This wasn't good. If Hiroshi wanted to threaten Kuroko-san with the loss of his reputation, he couldn't ruin it before they even discussed the terms. Hopefully the people here would be good Japanese and do their best to ignore this embarrassing display and forget everything they'd seen and heard so far.

Hiroshi turned back to Kuroko-san and offered him a smile, wide and entirely false. "I apologize for my rude entrance, Kuroko-san. Please forgive me and have a seat so we can discuss matters like rational human beings."

Kuroko-san hesitated, but he looked around and clearly had the same thoughts as Hiroshi. It was never good to cause a scene. He nodded, slowly, still overflowing with anger but doing his best to contain it, and sat down on the other side of the booth. Hiroshi slid into the booth next to Tetsu.

A cup and a cellphone rested on the table. Hiroshi opened the cup and wasn't surprised to find it full of half-melted vanilla shake. He pushed both items over to Tetsu. It was easy to soften his voice for the boy. "Why don't you take a drink, Tetsu-chan? You look like you need it."

Tetsu shook his head. He was still holding onto the booth with both hands, though his grip was beginning to loosen with Hiroshi's proximity. Hopefully he would feel a little safer, a little sheltered, with Hiroshi nearby. "I don't want to. It doesn't taste good."

"Hmm." Hiroshi studied him. Tetsu's fever had gotten worse. His entire face was reddened now, and he was shivering as with terrible chills. Worse, his lips were dry and beginning to crack. "You're getting dehydrated." He turned to the man across the table, who sat watching them with narrowed eyes, his expression set in resentment.

"Kuroko-san, do you love your son?"

Kuroko-san's eye twitched. "What is this? How dare you ask such a question?"

"Please answer me." Hiroshi kept his voice deliberately smooth.

"Of course I love him. He's my son. I love him with all my heart."

Hiroshi nodded, considering him carefully. "Then please go and get some water for him."

Kuroko-san stiffened. "What? Why are you asking this?"

"Is it such a difficult request?" Hiroshi's hand, flat on the table, curled into a fist. He didn't mean it as a threat. He simply couldn't help himself when faced with such a man. "Tetsu-chan needs water. I do not want to leave him alone with you. Please go and get some for him."

Kuroko-san held still for a moment longer. Then he slowly pushed himself up from the table. "I will. For Tetsuya, not because you asked me to."

Hiroshi nodded. "That's fine. No ice. It will not feel good if it's too cold."

Kuroko-san glared at him for a second, then went. Hiroshi turned to Tetsu. "Are you all right?" he asked urgently. "Where did he hurt you?"

As soon as his father was out of sight, Tetsu relaxed almost completely. He fell limp in the corner of the booth, his entire body trembling. "I'm fine. He just grabbed my arm, that's all."

"Let me see." Hiroshi gently took his hand and pushed up the sleeve of his hoodie to check for bruises. He was only somewhat relieved to find none. No new ones, anyway.

Tetsu's hand was warm and shivering in his. Hiroshi closed his fingers around his palm and let the sleeve fall down again. "I'm sorry, Tetsu-chan. This is not the way I wanted us to meet for the first time in person."

Tetsu stared at him. He made no attempt to pull his hand away from Hiroshi's. If anything, his fingers curved around his palm in return, slow and hesitant, not pressing at all but still cautiously seeking contact. "I don't understand what you mean."

Hiroshi smiled crookedly. This child was so sweet. How could anyone hurt him? Anyone at all, let alone his own father? "Your first sight of me caught me in a towering rage. It wasn't what I wanted. You've seen enough anger, enough dark emotions. I didn't want to be another source of that in your life."

Tetsu tilted his head in confusion. "But...your anger was on my behalf. Why would that trouble me?"

Hiroshi shook his head. "I thought it would."

"Oh." Tetsu looked forward, frowning. His fingers tightened further around Hiroshi's hand. "I appreciate your thoughtfulness. But your anger did not frighten me. If anything, I believe I found it comforting."

"Ah." Hiroshi slumped in relief. "That's good then."

Tetsu gave him a sideways quirk of a smile, looking at him shyly out of the corner of his eye. "I do spend time with your son on a regular basis, you know. I know how the Kagami rages work."

Hiroshi chuckled softly. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

"I don't...I don't yet understand how you came to be here, though. I'm...I'm very grateful. Very grateful. But I don't understand. I thought you were still in America, or perhaps would just now be boarding a flight."

"Yes, I probably should have told you boys when my flight was coming in. As I said, I decided to come early. I worked very hard in the first part of the week so that I could take a flight as soon as the big meeting on Thursday was done. I wanted to surprise you. When I got to the apartment, though, neither of you were there. I thought you might be at basketball practice, so that was where I went. Then Taiga showed me your text message, and I came right away." Hiroshi squeezed his hand, and his voice went even softer. "It was very wise of you to send that message, Tetsu-chan. I'm glad you gave us a hint to find you."

Tetsu nodded shakily. "I wanted to talk to him first," he said so quietly that Hiroshi had to bend closer to make out the words. "I knew I would want Kagami-kun's presence afterward, but I wanted to understand my father. And now I do, and..."

"It's all right, Tetsu-chan." Hiroshi held his hand as gently and firmly as he could. "You don't have to say anything else. I think I understand what kind of man your father is."

Tetsu nodded and slumped into his side, his head going limp on Hiroshi's shoulder. Hiroshi's heart squeezed with a sweet, familiar pain. Yes, this boy was his son. It didn't matter that Tetsu still belonged to Kuroko-san in the eyes of the government. He was Hiroshi's child, and Hiroshi would do whatever it took to keep him safe.

Kuroko-san finally returned with the water. Hiroshi was tempted to ask what had taken so long, but decided there was no need to be combative on such a trivial issue. He let go of Tetsu's hand so he could reach across the table for the water, his other arm curling around Tetsu's shoulders as if on instinct. He removed the lid from the cup and nudged Tetsu to sit up, just a little. "Please drink, Tetsu-chan. As much as you can."

Tetsu reached out with both hands. They were still shaking. Hiroshi held the cup for him until he was sure his grip was firm, then watched him take one long swallow, then another. He could feel the heat of Tetsu's body pressed along his side. This fever was bad, and the day of rest had not done much good. Or at least, any good had been undone by this meeting.

Kuroko-san watched them across the table, his eyes dark and resentful. Hiroshi did his best to ignore him. That man had forfeited all rights to feel possessive over this boy. That he had not realized this yet was simply a testament to his own idiocy, his inability to read a situation. It was not Hiroshi's responsibility to spell things out for him as he would for a slow-witted child.

When Tetsu had drunk all he could and pushed the cup away, Hiroshi wet a napkin in the remaining water and carefully, gently scrubbed away the tracks of tears on his face. Tetsu sighed and went limp against his shoulder again, his eyes falling shut. Hiroshi swiped his forehead and the sides of his face, too. It was not enough, but it would have to do until they could get back home, where the cold compresses were. Or perhaps to the nearest hospital.

When Tetsu was as comfortable as Hiroshi could make him, Hiroshi set the napkin aside and faced forward to meet Kuroko-san's eyes again. The man stared back at him, seething. Hiroshi was not bothered.

"Now," he said comfortably, his voice rumbling in his chest. "We can discuss terms."

Kuroko-san's eyes lit with fire. "And what would those be? I don't understand what you mean."

"You have two options, Kuroko-san, and only two. I will explain them to you as thoroughly as they need to be explained. But these are your options: You can sign custody of Tetsu-chan over to me immediately, completely and utterly relinquishing every right you could possibly have to him. Or I will ruin you in every single way that a man can be ruined."

Kuroko-san stared at him. He blinked, once.

Hiroshi smiled crookedly. "Choose wisely."

He was done playing nice.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Choose Wisely](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/119886022341/haikyuusetters-stop-doodling-the-fic-liz-just) by [haikyuusetters](http://haikyuusetters.tumblr.com/)

Kagami burst through the door into Maji Burger and halted in his tracks. Koganei ran into his back and bounced off with a yelp. Kagami barely noticed. Kuroko was here, all right. So was Dad. They were sitting on one side of a booth, Kuroko leaning on Dad's shoulder, looking horribly sick. On the other side of the booth was Kuroko's father.

Dad looked up at the noisy entrance. He didn't even blink when he saw who it was. "Ah, Taiga. I thought you might be on your way."

"You didn't text me." Kagami stepped closer to the booth, his eyes fixed on Kuroko's father. The guy had been in the middle of saying something when Kagami arrived, but now he was silent as he watched the entire Seirin basketball team file into the restaurant behind Kagami.

"Did you wait for me to?" Dad asked, half-smiling.

Kagami shook his head.

Coach Riko moved up beside him, giving Kagami's arm a slap as she went. "Kagami was too distracted to play, and once he told everyone why he was so worried, no one else could play either. So we decided to just go ahead and come check out the situation for ourselves."

She frowned at Kuroko's father, watching him with dark and narrowed eyes. Kagami didn't doubt that she had already figured out who he was. Kagami looked back over his shoulder to the rest of the team. "Everybody, that's my dad sitting with Kuroko. The other guy is Kuroko's father."

The tension in the air instantly ratcheted up about fifty notches. Kagami saw fists clench and faces darken. Several of his teammates shifted from foot to foot, only barely restraining themselves from instant action. They all knew what this man had done, now, and they all hated him with every atom of their beings.

"Taiga," Dad said calmly, "why don't you come sit next to Tetsu-chan? He would appreciate your presence right now."

Kagami didn't hesitate. He took the only route available. He stepped on the bench seat next to Kuroko's father, then over the table to the space between Kuroko and the wall. Dad and Kuroko shifted to make room for him, and Kagami jammed himself down into the seat, sandwiching Kuroko between himself and his dad. The bench on their side of the booth was now very full.

He was instantly aware of just how hot Kuroko's body was, pressed along Kagami's side like a small, shivering space heater. His fever must have risen. A lot.

Dad looked to the rest of the team, instantly picking out two members at the front of the press. "Ah, Captain Hyuuga? Kiyoshi-kun? I recognize you from Taiga's descriptions of you. Please come join us at the booth, if you don't mind. One on either side of Kuroko-san, if you can manage it."

They could. Hyuuga stepped over Kuroko-san on the bench seat to sit next to the wall. Kuroko-san stared at him, mute and seething. Kiyoshi slid in next to the man, offering him a benign smile. But his eyes were lit up as if a fire raged behind them. Kagami had never seen that look on his calm senpai's face before, not even when he faced the bastard who had purposely injured him on the court.

Kuroko-san, now trapped between two large, immovable basketball players, glared across the table at Kagami's dad. "What is the meaning of this? Why are you..."

"Ah, Kuroko-san, please forgive me." Dad smiled, too. It was sharp as a sword, though his teeth were hidden. "You started to say something about going to the authorities and having me arrested for interfering with your son. I thought it would be in your best interest if we finished our discussion, first. I'm sure these boys will be glad to help us out." He looked between Hyuuga and Kiyoshi in turn. "Am I right about that? You don't mind lending me your strength for this?"

Hyuuga's jaw clenched. "We don't mind at all."

Kiyoshi continued to smile. He tilted his head in gentle confirmation.

Dad then looked to Coach Riko. "Ah, Aida-san, perhaps the rest of the team can ask the other patrons in this part of the restaurant to find somewhere else to sit? We don't mean to be rude, but we're rather a large party, of course, and we would all like to sit together."

Coach nodded sharply. "Of course." She waved her hand at the rest of the team. "As he says."

The team spread out, apologizing and bowing to the few Maji customers who hadn't already set out for greener pastures. Mitobe helped a mother and a tiny girl move their food to another area. The others went on their own. Then the Seirin members took over the tables, effectively blocking off this section of the restaurant and turning it into something like a private room, simply because they were there.

Dad and Kuroko-san would be able to have their conversation in peace now.

"Now, Kuroko-san," Dad said pleasantly. "Would you like me to explain your options again?"

Kuroko-san's face was red with anger. He grimaced in distaste and began to stand up. "I don't have to listen to this..."

"Yes, you do," Kiyoshi said, with the very same pleasantness. His enormous hand landed on Kuroko-san's shoulder and pressed down. Hyuuga's did the same.

Kuroko-san fell to the seat as if his knees had been cut from beneath him. He glared from side to side at the two basketball players, then turned his ire on Dad. His hands pressed flat on the table, and he leaned forward, trying to get into Dad's space. "You are threatening me and preventing me from leaving. This is _illegal._ I already called my lawyer, I'll have you know. I did it when I went to get that water. He'll be here soon, and then you won't have a leg to stand on."

Dad tilted his head. "You called your lawyer, did you? What a funny coincidence. I did too. She's on her way." He leaned forward as well, not as far as the other man because he did not want to dislodge Kuroko's head from its resting place on his shoulder. "I had thought we would just have a pleasant chat with Tetsu-chan while we waited for the team to finish their practice. I wanted to make sure he understood the ins and outs of everything we were planning before we finalized it. But you know, I kinda like this better. Let's get it all out of the way _now."_

Kuroko-san grit his teeth. "If you're still thinking that I'm going to willingly sign away my _son_ to the hands of a _stranger..."_

Dad sat back and lifted a hand to wave that away. "Now, now, I never said it would be willingly. I never said you would want to do it. I'm saying that you have to, otherwise I will ruin you in every possible way."

"There you go, threatening me again..."

It was Dad's turn to clench his teeth. His eyes were hard and bright. "It's not a threat, Kuroko-san. I'm merely informing you of the facts. You seem to think that I came here empty-handed, unprepared. You seem to think that I have nothing but words to offer against you. And that's not true at all."

He looked at Kagami. "Taiga, may I borrow your phone?"

Kagami blinked. He got where this was going now. "Sure, Dad." He pulled the phone out of his pocket and opened the camera. He hesitated, glancing at Kuroko, but the guy wasn't paying attention, his eyes shut, his face relaxed. Kagami wasn't sure if he was asleep or if he had chosen to remove himself from the conversation because he found it too distressing. In any case, he'd already given his permission for this.

It still made Kagami's stomach turn to open the photo gallery and find...those pictures. The ones he had taken that first night of the wounds that marked his friend, that testified to the pain and cruelty he had suffered. Some of the photos were blurry because his hand had been trembling. Others were far, far too clear.

Kagami left it on a photo of Kuroko's back and gave the phone to his father. Dad sat still for a moment, staring at it. This was the first time he'd seen the actual evidence, though they had talked about it many times. Kagami could see the fight in his eyes, already fierce and determined, sharpening down to a blade. Dad's resolve had been hardened before. Now it was like a diamond.

Dad looked at him. "You made the backups we talked about?"

Kagami nodded.

Dad looked across the table again and held out the phone. "Here, Kuroko-san. Please look to your heart's content."

Kuroko-san snatched the phone away and held it clenched in both hands. Kagami set his jaw and did not ask him to be gentle with the phone. He could get another one. It was more important to finish this task now, while they had the chance.

"What...what is this?" Kuroko-san punched a finger down on a button, making the photos scroll. "What are these, why are you showing them to me?"

Kagami couldn't believe the gall of this. His bristled, leaning forward before he could stop himself. His fist slammed down on the table. "That's what you did to Kuroko. That's what you did to your _kid._ How could you forget something like that?"

"No, no, this can't be right." Kuroko-san kept punching the scroll button. "This isn't Tetsuya. It was just a few licks with the belt. I never did anything like this."

"You can see the evidence." Dad's voice held a note of sadness now. "Three weeks. You beat him—whipped him—almost every day for three weeks. There are some who would call that torture."

"I didn't. This never happened. You faked these photos. You made it all up."

"Father."

Kagami started at the soft voice. Kuroko had opened his eyes, though he didn't lift his head from Dad's shoulder. His expression was serene, but his lips trembled. "You did. You did that."

"No." Kuroko-san all but threw the phone back at Kagami. He caught it between his palms and set it carefully down on the table. Kuroko-san pointed a finger at Dad in accusation. "I would never do that to Tetsuya. How far will you go to try to steal my son from me?"

Dad's lips pressed flat. "Are you saying that someone else sneaked into your house and beat your boy until he bled? Until his back was so raw and marked that no untouched skin was visible anywhere?"

"Don't be ridiculous. So I hit him with a belt a few times. So what? I was disciplining a wayward brat. It's nothing to get worked up about."

"You tortured him."

"I did not. It wasn't that bad. I'll admit I'm not a perfect father. I've made mistakes. I regret them. I've already apologized to Tetsuya. But I won't apologize to you."

Kagami felt Kuroko tremble and looked at him concern. He'd shut his eyes again, turning his head to hide his face against Dad's shoulder. Dad's arm tightened around him, holding him close.

"You abused him." Dad's voice had become low and hard and intense. This was the tone that Kagami had long ago learned not to mess with. When Dad talked like this, the only option was instant obedience. "We have photographs. We have physical evidence—blood-stained bandages from his room, the ugly strap you used on him. If I took those in for DNA testing, what would I find? More than that, we have Tetsu-chan's word. We have all the evidence we could ever need to put you away for life."

Kuroko-san said nothing. His chest heaved. His jaw worked as if he was chewing on something tough. But he seemed to have lost his objections at long last.

Dad leaned forward again, just a little. Somehow, even with that small movement, he managed to loom like skyscraper. "So I will ask again, Kuroko-san. Will you sign over custody of your son to me and let him be protected and cared for as he deserves for the rest of his life? Or will you force me to use that evidence against you, to ruin you financially, socially, and personally? Because I will. I most certainly will. Do. Not. Test. Me."

Kuroko-san's eyes flicked to the phone. The light of desperation in his eyes made Kagami snatch it up at once and hold it close to him.

"Don't even think about destroying the evidence," Dad said. "As I said, we have backups. One of them is in Akita with a third party. Right, Taiga?"

Kagami nodded.

Kuroko-san drew a shaky breath. "I admit the photos look bad. But it was just a mistake. I've already apologized. It won't happen again."

"You'll forgive me if I don't believe you," Dad said quietly. "I told you, I've heard Tetsu-chan's story. I know this has been going on for years. I'm sure I already know the pattern. You have a bad day. He does something, probably something very small, that irritates you. You lose your temper and lash out. Then you regret it. You ask forgiveness. You say it will never happen again. But it does. Over. And over. And over."

Kagami felt sick. His eyes slid over to Kuroko again. Somehow he hadn't quite put that together, despite hearing the story from Kuroko's own lips, despite being the one to pass it on to his father. How terrifying must it have been for Kuroko to live with the threat of cruel, unpredictable violence always looming over him? He must have never felt safe in his home, never been able to fully relax.

No wonder he had gotten so good at hiding.

Kuroko-san's eyes were fixed on Kagami's father, unable to look away. Kagami had a feeling that the entire Seirin team was in the same situation. Dad nodded solemnly.

"So I say now that this is enough, Kuroko-san. Enough. You have problems, and they need to be dealt with. But it is not Tetsu-chan's responsibility to mend you. He is a child, and he deserves a family who will love him and protect him and never, ever hurt him. You have proven that you are incapable of providing that for him. So let us do it instead. I and my son, Taiga, will give Tetsu-chan what you could not. If you truly love him, as you say you do, then you owe him that chance. Let him go. We'll take it from here."

Kuroko-san was clearly shaken. He blinked hard, then looked away. Then he looked back, and his expression was a snarl once again. "And why should it be you? Who are you to me? I never met you before an hour ago. For all I know, you're a worse devil than I ever was. Why should I trust you?"

"Because I do." Kuroko's voice, small and clear. He turned his head sluggishly against Dad's shoulder to look his father in the eyes. He was trembling and sick and at the end of his endurance, but his eyes were steady and his voice was clear. The strength and courage in that small gesture took Kagami's breath away.

"I trust Kagami-kun and Hiroshi-san. Please, Father. If you love me, let me go with them."

Kuroko-san stared at him, then at Dad. He licked his lips. His eyes flicked to the phone Kagami held clenched in white-knuckled fingers.

He wavered. It was visible. He was physically wavering where he sat. Hyuuga and Kiyoshi sat beside him, stone-faced pillars that were half support, half prison.

A decision was imminent. Kagami held his breath.

Kuroko-san nodded. Then he bowed his head and wept, for his weakness, for his shame, for his loss. They let him.


	35. Chapter 35

The rest was details. By the arrival of Hiroshi's lawyer, Saeki Toshiko, Kuroko-san had regained his composure. He was unable to look anyone in the eye, though. Hyuuga and Kiyoshi removed themselves from the booth, uncomfortable with being in such close proximity with this person anymore. Hiroshi didn't blame them. Even sitting across from the guy made his skin crawl, despite the way he'd managed to attain a very small portion of understanding and compassion for him.

In the end, Hiroshi had been convinced that some part of Kuroko-san truly did love his son. It was small and bitter and twisted, but it still lived. And now he'd lost him. Forever. Through his own actions, yes, but bad circumstances and unfriendly fates had played a role, as well. Kuroko-san was a truly pitiful man.

Hiroshi couldn't blame anyone for being upset over losing Tetsu, after all. Even the smallest and most despicable of souls had to be aware on some level of how much light and loveliness shone from this boy. Even the darkest of creatures could sense the nearness of purity and could mourn when it moved hopelessly out of reach.

Tetsu's head remained limp and heavy on Hiroshi's shoulder. Hiroshi could hear the wheeze in his breathing that Taiga had mentioned, so he was probably asleep or close to it. One of the Seirin members brought them another cup of water, and Taiga wet a napkin and wiped it over his forehead and cheeks. The moisture seemed to burn off in seconds, Tetsu's skin was so hot. And yet he shivered.

"Dad..." Taiga's voice was low with anxiety.

"I know," Hiroshi said softly. "As soon as this is over. Before the ink dries on the paper, we'll be out the door."

Finally, after an almost unbearable length of time, Hiroshi saw Saeki Toshiko looking around in the front part of the restaurant. She stood out from the casual crowd with her tailored business clothes and long, straight black hair swept back from her face, so it wasn't hard to spot her. Just as he noticed her, she lifted the hand holding her briefcase to look at her watch.

It hurt Hiroshi's heart, but he had to move. As gently as he could, he shifted Tetsu off his shoulder and into Taiga's arms. Tetsu murmured at the loss of contact, his eyes fluttering open for a moment. "H-Hiroshi-s-san..."

Hiroshi slid out of the booth, then turned back to lay a hand along his cheek. "I'll be right back, I promise. Taiga will take care of you."

"K-Kagami-kun..." Tetsu head fell sideways to rest on Taiga's chest, his eyes falling shut again. 

Taiga's arms tightened around him, holding him secure. "I'm here. Hold on, Kuroko. We'll take care of everything."

Tetsu sighed and relaxed.

Hiroshi tore himself away with great difficulty. The sooner they finished this, the sooner they could get Tetsu the help he needed.

"Saeki-san!" Hiroshi rushed over to greet her. "Did you bring the papers?"

She turned to face him, then blinked, probably at his harried appearance and urgent tone, as well as the way he had skipped right over the proper greetings. Saeki very rarely blinked. Hiroshi logged the moment away as one to remember. 

She nodded coolly. "Hello, Kagami-san. It's nice to meet you in person. Yes, of course I brought them. I thought we were only planning to discuss the situation, though."

"Things have changed." Hiroshi led her back over to the section controlled the Seirin team, back to the booth where his sons waited for him. "We have all the parties available. An agreement has been reached. We need to sign right away."

"Ah." Saeki's unflappable demeanor was back already. Hiroshi would have been amused if he'd had the time. 

He had known she was a good one when one of his old friends still in Japan had introduced them over video chat earlier in the week. Once he'd laid out the facts—a child had been horribly mistreated, he intended to adopt the boy and safeguard him from now on—she had been as firmly Hiroshi's friend and ally as if they had known each other since kindergarten. She hadn't even blinked when he'd explained about the blackmail. A lawyer with morality, but not scruples. Truly a rare find.

At the booth, Saeki only raised her eyebrows as Hiroshi introduced her first to Kuroko-san, then Taiga and Tetsu. She bowed to each in turn, the proper depth and no further. Kuroko-san didn't even raise his head. Taiga grimaced. Tetsu opened his eyes a bare sliver, then closed them again.

Saeki looked to Hiroshi. "I see why you are so eager to have this done."

"Right away, please." Hiroshi fetched a chair from one of the tables so she could sit at the end of the booth. Then he slid in next to his boys again, one hand automatically reaching out to card through Tetsu's hair, then rest on Taiga's arm.

Saeki accepted this rough hospitality with all the grace of a queen ascending a throne. She set the briefcase on the table and snapped the latches, then opened it and removed a slim file. She closed the briefcase and set the file on top.

Hiroshi stared at the plain manila folder. "Is that all?"

She nodded, unsmiling. "This is only the custody agreement. It's more of a side document, necessary because this case is exceptional. Kagami-san will need to register the actual adoption in person." She glanced at Tetsu. "But I gather that you will be busy for a little while."

Saeki looked to Kuroko-san. "This is a contract. It is binding. Once signed, it cannot be dissolved except by mutal agreement by all parties involved."

Kuroko-san stared at her, then across the table at Tetsu. Sensing the attention, Tetsu opened his eyes again, though his eyes were glassy and it was clear that he saw very little. Taiga's hand rose to cover his forehead as if he was checking his temperature, but then it stayed there. The gesture was immensely protective, and Taiga's body was tense except where he had gentled himself in order to cradle Tetsu against him. Everyone in the room understood what he meant.

_Leave my little brother alone._

"Kuroko-san?" Hiroshi tried to sound confident and assured, but he could hear the stress in his own voice. "Will you sign this contract, as you agreed to do?"

Please don't let him delay any longer. Please don't let him do anything ridiculous like read the entire document. Please let this be done.

Kuroko-san hesitated. His eyes were fixed on his son. "Will I..." His voice broke. He swallowed and tried again. "Will I ever see Tetsuya again?"

Hiroshi held very still. "That's...up to Tetsu-chan," he said after a long moment. He met Kuroko-san's eyes frankly. "If it were up to me, no. Never. You have harmed him too often and too deeply. But we both know that Tetsu-chan has an unfathomable depth of forgiveness in him. If, in a few months, or years... If he wants to see you, I will abide by his wishes."

Kuroko-san's eyes could not hold Hiroshi's. He looked away, staring at Tetsu again. Tetsu remained limp on Taiga's chest, breathing shallowly, his eyes shut. 

"I'll never allow him to be alone with you, though," Hiroshi said quietly. "I won't risk that."

Kuroko-san's eyes fell to the table. He nodded. Then he looked at Saeki and nodded again.

She opened the folder and set the documents in front of Kuroko-san, then smoothly pulled a fountain pen from her breast pocket and placed it in his hand. "The documents are in triplicate," she said, and pointed out where to sign.

Kuroko-san didn't read the documents. He signed. Hiroshi signed them as well, in the indicated places. Each were given a copy to keep. Then Saeki put the third copy in the folder, placed it back in her briefcase, and stood up. "Gentlemen." She bowed to each in turn, then spun neatly on her heel and swept away.

She had made it all seem very smooth. Easy. Quick. Efficient.

Kuroko-san stared at the document in his hand. So did Hiroshi. It was done. Well, there was more to do, but this... This was done.

"Dad," Taiga said urgently. Hiroshi blinked and looked over to him, then started and jumped to his feet.

Dammit, Tetsu looked even worse than he had a few minutes ago. "Can someone flag down a taxi for us?" he asked, looking around with wild eyes. 

One of the Seirin boys—it might have been Izuki, from Taiga's descriptions—was already out the door, hurrying toward the street. Hiroshi folded the document in thirds and stuck it into a pocket, even though part of him wanted to keep it pristine and frame it to hang on a wall somewhere. 

Miraculously, a taxi pulled up to the curb just as Hiroshi was desperately longing for one. Izuki looked startled, too, but shook it off and ran around to speak to the driver. Meanwhile, a short, balding man in a suit exited the back of the taxi and stood on the sidewalk. He stared up at the Maji Burger sign with disgust clear in his expression. 

Hiroshi gaped at him. "Who...?"

Kuroko-san broke out of his funk enough to notice. "Oh. That's my lawyer. I'll get rid of him."

He dragged himself to his feet, moving slowly and painfully, and moved over to stand by Hiroshi. The document was crumpled in his fist. He stared out at the lawyer, then looked at Hiroshi. He looked awful. Almost as sick as his son. The son who wasn't his anymore.

"Take care of Tetsuya," he said. "Take care of my boy."

Hiroshi's heart burned in his chest. "I will. He will be treasured. I swear it."

Hiroshi bowed, and it was a gesture of respect, no mere display of etiquette. Kuroko-san bowed back to him. Then he trudged away. He had come here thinking that he would take his son home with him, and now he left with nothing at all.

Hiroshi could hear Taiga, behind him. "Kuroko, c'mon, wake up. Just a little, that's it, open your eyes. We're leaving now. Can you stand? I'll hold you up."

"Where..." Tetsu's voice was a mere breath of air. "...going..."

"Hospital, Kuroko, we're going to the hospital."

Hiroshi turned around just in time to watch Tetsu collapse. He and Taiga had been standing next to the booth, probably for mere seconds. Now Tetsu's eyes rolled up in his head, and he would have fallen to the floor if Taiga hadn't caught him, muscular arms wrapping around his body in a sudden tangle of limbs. Taiga lost his balance and fell down to sit on the booth seat again, his eyes wide with distress.

"Dad!" His gaze found Hiroshi. His voice was a harsh bark of alarm.

Hiroshi all but ran the few steps back to them. He took Tetsu's face in his hands and watched his eyes, willing them to open at once. "Tetsu-chan," he murmured, his voice tight and small. "Tetsu-chan. Wake up."

"Dad, he passed out," Taiga said, high and terrified.

"Calm down, Kagami-kun." It was Coach Aida's sharp voice. She leaned against the other side of the booth to look in his face. "It's not like Kuroko-kun hasn't passed out before. He passes out all the time."

Tetsu's eyes began to slide open. As soon as the smallest hint of blue was visible, Hiroshi's shoulders relaxed and his head bowed for a moment. "He's awake."

Tetsu's lips moved. "H-Hiroshi-san..."

"I'm here." Hiroshi gently disengaged him from Taiga's grip and scooped him into his arms, picking him up with one arm beneath his knees and the other wrapped around his back. The boy was small. Hiroshi was no athlete, but he wasn't a weakling, either. Taiga had his genes. "I've got you."

Slowly, slowly, Tetsu reached up and twined his arms around Hiroshi's neck, his head resting on his shoulder. Hiroshi's arms tightened around him. Taiga stood next to him. He pressed closer than usual, his shoulder touching Hiroshi's. He was trembling.

"All right," Hiroshi said. He looked around at the team, all of these kind boys watching him with enormous worry in their eyes. Most of them were on their feet, fists clenched and half stepping toward him. They all longed to help, but knew that they couldn't.

Hiroshi bowed his head to them because he could not bow his body. If he could, he would give them all the deepest bow he'd ever given anyone in his life. "Thank you, Seirin basketball club," he said hoarsely. "Thank you very much."

Then he hurried out to the taxi. Someone opened the door for them, but he couldn't even see who it was. Every last bit of his attention was now focused on the fevered child in his arms.

"It's going to be okay, Tetsu-chan," he whispered. "Everything will be okay."

Tetsu nodded sluggishly, his fluffy hair brushing the side of Hiroshi's jaw. It was more than he had hoped for.

They had to get to the hospital right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done a bunch of research on Japanese custody and adoption, and I still have no idea if this would work. Let's just assume that Saeki Toshiko is amazing and figured out a way. (She is the cousin of Kageyama's mom in A Split-Second of Violence.)
> 
> Anyway, welcome to the sickfic portion of the story. If you thought Kagami and Papakagami doted on Kuroko before... Well. You have not seen doting.


	36. Chapter 36

Kagami hated feeling helpless. It was the worst. Like that night before the Winter Cup final, when Kuroko had told the team about how things had all gone wrong at Teiko and Kuroko hadn't been able to do anything to fix it. Kagami had offered his opinion on what could have been done, which had not been helpful at all, in retrospect. It had only made Kuroko feel more guilty and morose, as if he should have been able to take Kagami's ridiculous suggestions and make them work, even though he wouldn't even meet Kagami until long after.

At least Kagami had been able to cheer Kuroko up, a little. The others had helped, too, and Kuroko had seemed his usual self by the end of the night. And yet, afterward, Kagami lay in his bed and thought about Kuroko's story, and it wouldn't stop bothering him. When he thought about it, he realized that nothing he'd said had made any sense. He couldn't come up with a solution for what Kuroko could have done. It made him feel helpless and angry and twisted up inside, and he hated that. He hated it.

At least he had been able to use those bad feelings to fuel his basketball the next day. His desire to help Kuroko, to make things better for him, had given wings to his feet for a while and boosted the team at the beginning of the match. Later, when he had felt down and helpless again, Kuroko had lifted him in return.

But that was basketball. This was different. Kagami felt helpless again, but the secondary emotion wasn't anger. It was fear. And the stakes weren't victory at a basketball tournament. They were much, much higher.

Who knew hospital emergency rooms could be so busy? Who knew that they could be passed over again and again because their problem was "just" a fever? Who knew that simply sitting in a chair, waiting, could be this agonizing?

"Taiga." Dad's voice was quiet, but no less commanding for that. "Come and sit next to me."

Kagami had been sitting in one of the single chairs across from where his dad had taken over one of the few sofas, cradling Kuroko in his lap. Kuroko was limp against Dad's chest, head tucked under his chin, legs sprawling on the cushion next to them. His eyes were closed, and his breathing kept sounding worse and worse. Too short, too fast, too loud. Now Dad wrapped one arm around Kuroko's back, holding him secure, and reached his other arm out for Kagami.

Kagami went to him without hesitation. He pressed up against Dad's side like a little kid seeking reassurance, lifting Kuroko's legs into his lap as he went. Dad's arm wrapped around his neck and pulled his head down to rest on his shoulder. If Kagami lowered his face a handful of centimeters, he could bury his nose in Kuroko's hair.

This close, he was even more aware of the heat radiating from Kuroko, his labored breathing, the stillness of his body except for the pumping of air in and out of his lungs.

"Dad," he whispered. "Is Kuroko gonna be okay?"

Dad sighed and tilted his head to rest his cheek on Kagami's crown. "Yeah, he will. I know it's scary right now. He's very sick."

"I've never seen anyone this sick," Kagami said, his voice hushed with the fear of it.

"I'm sure it's an infection of some kind, though I don't know what it is. He needs antibiotics. Once he gets the right medicine, he'll start getting better quickly. A few days at most, and all of this will seem like a bad dream. We just need to get through a few days."

Kagami nodded, then went still again. "But you have to go back to America next week. Won't you take a flight on Sunday?"

"There's this thing called parental leave, and they even have it in America. When you have a new child, and that includes adoption or foster placement, you can take time off. In California it's paid for a while, unlike most of the States. Granted, this is short notice, and I haven't filed the paperwork yet. But don't worry. I'm not going back for a long time. If ever."

"Oh. Good." Kagami relaxed more fully into his dad's side.

Dad sighed and let his head rest back against the sofa. "I know this is all happening fast. I didn't expect it, either. I thought this weekend would just be a nice visit, and we would work everything out later. I would have liked to give Tetsu-chan more time to get to know me before I officially took custody of him."

The edge of anxiety in his voice had Kagami tilting his head up to look at his dad's profile. "You don't... You don't think Kuroko is going to regret this, do you?"

Dad shook his head. "I don't know. He was very out of it when he asked his father to let him come to us. I don't even know if he'll remember saying it."

"Dad." If Kagami had had room and could have done it without disturbing Kuroko, he would have punched his father in the side. As it was, he could only remonstrate with his voice. "Don't be ridiculous. I promise you, he wants this."

Dad was quiet for a second, blinking up at the ceiling. "You sound very sure."

"We talked about it. Well, not about the adoption, because we didn't even know it was a possibility then. But I know very well that he wants to stay with us. I started getting worried, thinking about how maybe he'd be better off with someone who knew what they were doing instead of me, and he shut me down real quick. Even told me to stop thinking because I wasn't good at it."

A startled chuckle burst from Dad's lips. "You are very comfortable friends."

Kagami nodded. "I know he seemed nervous and shy in some of the video chats, but that was just because he wanted so much for you to like him. Once he was sure you did, he was more relaxed with you than I've ever seen him be with any other adult. Ever."

"Ah." Dad lifted his hand, dangling over Kagami's shoulder, to push it roughly through his hair and muss it thoroughly. Then he turned his head and planted a kiss on the side of Kagami's head, right in the middle of the mess he had just made. "I'm sure I have you to thank for that, Tiger Cub. He trusts you absolutely and without question, so he was able to trust me, as well."

On an ordinary day Kagami would be a bit embarrassed by this open affection, especially out in public. Today, he soaked it up. "Thanks, Dad," he said quietly. "But it wasn't all me. You're a really good guy, you know. Kuroko is observant. He could see how trustworthy you are even through a video chat."

Dad hummed. "Maybe we both did some things right, then."

"You..." Kuroko's voice. It was breathy and faint, almost inaudible. Kagami and his dad both went still, Kagami watching Kuroko's face intently, Dad staring at him because Kuroko's head was still tucked under his chin. Kuroko stirred sluggishly, his eyes struggling to open. "You both..."

"Kuroko." Kagami reached out and rubbed a hand along his upper arm. "It's okay. Go back to sleep."

"Wasn't...asleep. Resting." Kuroko finally forced his eyes open. They were glazed and distant, filled with pain. They made Kagami want to cry.

Kuroko leaned his head back, sliding along Dad's chest, and Kagami didn't get what he was doing at first. Dad lifted his arm and caught Kuroko's head in the crook of his elbow. Kuroko tipped his head back, back, then he smiled when he saw Dad's face, looking down on him with concern. Oh. He just wanted to look at them.

Kuroko bent his head forward so he could see Kagami, too. Kagami had lifted his head from Dad's shoulder and craned around so he could watch his face in return. "Wanted...to tell you..."

"It's okay," Dad said, low and soothing. "Whatever you need to tell us, it can wait till you're feeling better. You can just rest right now."

Kuroko shook his head, slow, certain. "No. Tell you now."

Dad went still, his face fierce with listening. Kagami nodded solemnly to let him know he could go ahead.

Kuroko smiled again, sweet, his eyes falling half shut. "You are both...amazing."

Kagami and his dad were still for a moment, taking this in. Then Kagami laughed, breathless in surprise, and Dad huffed out a breath and drew his arm in tight to tuck Kuroko under his chin again. He bent his head to plant a kiss on the top of Kuroko's head, right in the messiest part of his bedhead. "You darling boy," he said. "You could have told us that later."

Kuroko's eyes fell all the way shut again, but he was still smiling. "No. You were both being silly. Had to tell you."

"All right. You told us. Go back to sleep."

Kuroko wriggled in protest. "Not asleep."

"Right, resting. Go back to resting."

They all fell silent. Kagami put his head back down on Dad's shoulder and listened to Kuroko breathe. Kagami wondered how much Kuroko had heard, how much of the conversation he'd been listening to. He knew that Kuroko tended to tune out when he found things too overwhelming and confusing, so even if Kuroko had been awake, he might not have really understood what he and Dad had said to each other. Even though they had been careful to keep it in Japanese.

But after a minute or so, Kuroko stirred again, his fingers twitching where they were clenched in Dad's shirt. He obviously wanted to say something again, so they both held still and listened, all but holding their breath. Kuroko didn't bother opening his eyes again, just forced out the words.

"Am I...Kagami now?"

Kagami and Dad exchanged glances. Dad raised the hand he'd held wrapped around Kuroko's back and stroked his fingers through his hair. "Not quite. The contract just gives me custody. The right to take care of you. But you are still Kuroko Tetsuya. You're old enough that I can adopt you under the inheritance adoption. Your name would be written under the Kagami register and erased from the Kuroko one."

Dad was silent for a moment, considering. His fingers still swept through Kuroko's hair. "We don't have to do that. I haven't read the contract, but I know it's solid. I can take care of you without taking away your name."

Kuroko was still for a moment. Then his head moved in something like negation, though the movement was so slight that Kagami almost didn't catch it, even watching as closely as he was. "I wouldn't...miss it..." he said softly. "Kuroko...has suffered. Much. I would like to be Kagami."

Dad's hand stilled in Kuroko's hair. He looked up at the ceiling, blinking away tears, then lowered his head to rest his jaw against Kuroko's hair again. "I know," he murmured. "I know you have suffered, Tetsu-chan. But this is a big decision. Let's talk about it again when you are well."

"All right." Kuroko slumped even more heavily against Dad's chest. Kagami thought he might be truly trying to sleep now. But then he stirred again, his eyes opening just a sliver. He was looking at Kagami, and his expression was disappointed. "But that means...Kagami-kun isn't Taiga-nii."

Kagami's heart almost burst out of his chest. He had to mouth the words for a few moments before they would come out, and then his voice was thin and choked. "Oh, Kuroko. You can call me Taiga-nii if you want to."

Kuroko's eyes slid closed again. He smiled. "And I am Tetsu-chan?"

Again, Kagami was completely incapable of speech for about five seconds. "Yes," he managed at last. He reached out and rubbed his arm again, because he couldn't think of anything else to do. "Yes, you are Tetsu-chan."

He had a sudden urge to go punch a wall until he felt a little more manly. Good lord, he and his dad were going to spoil this kid to within an inch of life the instant they had the opportunity.

Kuroko...Tetsu...responded to this by snuggling into Dad's chest. His smile turned soft and satisfied. "Hiroshi-san, Taiga-nii, Tetsu-chan," he recited sleepily. "A fresh start."

"Yeah," Kagami said, his voice rough and low. "A fresh start. Now for pity's sake, Tetsu-chan, go to sleep."

It might have been the fever. It might have been delirium. When Tetsu was healed and in his right mind again, he might not want to use those names between himself and Kagami anymore. But for now, Kagami held them close to his heart and was achingly, unbearably glad.

Dad's arms tightened around them both, hauling them in close and safe and warm. Kagami still felt helpless. He still thought the hospital was taking far too long to give his little brother the help he needed. He was still frightened and worried, trapped face to face with the worst illness he'd ever witnessed up close.

But he was happy, too. And when Dad whispered, "It's going to be okay," and again kissed Kagami's head, then Tetsu's, he even believed it might be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a strange urge to apologize for the truly _ridiculous_ level of tooth-rotting fluff in this chapter, but... It's right there in the tags. I did warn you.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the especially sweet reviews on the last chapter. I wanted to let you know that Taiga is indeed the nii-san. :D Japanese school years go from April to April, with years being based strictly on age at the starting date. So when their first year at Seirin began, Kuroko and Kagami were both fifteen. Then Kagami turned sixteen August 2, and Kuroko turned sixteen January 31. They're both sixteen now, in early spring when the story is set, but Taiga is almost six months older. So it counts. :D

Being sick was frightening.

Tetsu didn't want to sleep. His dad and his brother kept urging him to, wanting him to close his eyes and drift away. They meant it kindly, and he knew that. They thought that sleep would bring some relief, that even if it couldn't heal him completely, it would at least assist his body in some way. And they thought that while he slept, he wouldn't be suffering. They thought sleep was an escape.

Tetsu knew better. When he closed his eyes and let his mind drift, a rush of images came to meet him. He didn't really understand why they hadn't, before, but now they did. Before, sleep truly had been a relief. He had slept as much as he could and had been sorry when circumstances dictated that he remain awake.

Maybe it was because, before, the images had been present when he was awake. Even after he left the place of fear, he had carried the fear with him. It colored his perception and tainted his movements. He had startled at loud noises and quick gestures, hesitated before opening doors, and shrunk from the eyes of the world. But when he slept, all that went away, just as it sometimes did when Taiga-nii hugged him, or Hiroshi-san smiled at him, or someone on his team sat just close enough to him that he knew that he was sheltered but not so close that he felt trapped.

So being sick was frightening. It was mixing everything up in his head. He could feel his mind being heated to an unbearable boil, melting all of the things he had put away and pushed aside and done everything he could to repress, stewing them together and pouring them out where they could not be contained.

If he retained a shred of consciousness, he could keep some control of the mess. He knew he was sick. He knew fever was rattling his bones and shaking his brain. He could feel Hiroshi-san's presence surrounding him, Taiga's hand on his arm. He could hear their voices and knew that they loved him, and he knew that they would keep him safe.

But when he lost that shred, when he started to drift away... It all rose up around him and wrapped him in folds of black, hot and suffocating, vast quantities of thick velvet that tangled his arms and smothered his face. His father's face rose up before his eyes, twisted in hatred, spittle flying as he screamed at Tetsu from centimeters away. He felt blows against his body, heard the crack of the strap, but the pain was not as hard to bear as the hatred. He forgot that it was over. He forgot that Taiga had taken him away from that place and his father would never be permitted to touch him again.

So he shivered, and struggled, and pushed himself back to waking even though he could not open his eyes. He endured the heat of the fever and the ache in his body, the dryness of his throat and the headache pounding behind his eyes. All of it was easier to bear than the images.

"Tetsu-chan." A cool hand touched his cheek, and Tetsu raised his head, just a little. It took enormous effort. "No, it's all right, don't open your eyes. I'm going to give you some water, all right?"

Tetsu hummed his understanding. A cup was set to his lips. He drank in tiny sips, feeling the cool liquid spill out the sides of his mouth. It hurt to swallow. Everything hurt.

"Please, Tetsu-chan, a little more?"

He tried, but it hurt. He choked. Water went everywhere, spilling down his front. He convulsed against the arms that held him, panicking, eyes flying open. The cup disappeared, and Hiroshi-san cursed and gathered him up on his chest again.

"Shh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Calm down, Tetsu-chan, did some go down your windpipe? Shh, it's all right, it's all right."

The room was too bright. Tetsu blinked, but he couldn't take it in. Everything was a painful blur, the colors washed out, sharp and piercing. It hurt his eyes and worsened his headache.

"Tetsu-chan, are you okay? Can you talk?"

Tetsu shivered. "It hurts," he whispered. His eyes fell shut again.

"I'm sorry." Strong fingers carded through his hair. Tetsu leaned into the touch as much as he could. "What hurts, Tetsu-chan? Your throat, from the water?"

"Everything." His breath rasped in his throat.

"Dad." Taiga's voice. He sounded too far away, standing somewhere to the left instead of sitting next to Tetsu the way he used to be. "I told them that his breathing is more labored and he's less responsive." The words had the rhythm of recitation to them, as if Taiga was repeating exactly what his dad had told him to say. "I think someone finally might be doing something."

"Good job, Taiga." Hiroshi-san’s voice rumbled against Tetsu's ear. He leaned closer, wanting to hear more of it. Wanting to fall into it and vanish. "Why don't you come sit with us again?"

"Can't." Taiga's voice got closer, then farther away. He was pacing. "Sorry."

Being sick was frightening. Tetsu knew that if he lifted a hand, if he reached out toward his brother and said his name, "Taiga-nii," no matter how soft or rough his voice was, or how hard to hear... He knew that Taiga would come right away. He would take his hand and lean in next to him, big and strong and solid. He would control his anxiety, his need for movement, and answer Tetsu's smallest request for his presence.

Because he knew this would happen, Tetsu didn't need to do it. He leaned on Hiroshi-san's chest and listened to Taiga pace the floor. He was frightened, but he was safe.

The last shred of consciousness was beginning to elude his grasp, no matter how desperately he tried to hold on to it. He was just...so tired. This didn't feel like going to sleep, though. It was more like passing out. Maybe that was why the images weren't rushing at him, this time. He felt like he was sinking into a hot, sticky swamp. It dragged at his limbs, slowly and inevitably sucking him under. Everything was fading. Everything was going away. He couldn't hold on.

Just before it all vanished into thick, gray mud, Tetsu was aware of a stranger's voice, a stranger's hands on him. It made his heart jump, sluggish even in alarm, but he didn't have the strength to respond. The stranger's voice seemed worried, though, and Tetsu was sorry for that. He didn't want to worry anyone....

Being sick was uncomfortable. A cool hand touched his cheek, and it felt so nice against the heat that Tetsu longed to lean into it, but he didn't have the strength to move. "Tetsu-chan. Tetsu-chan. Can you open your eyes?"

Hiroshi-san's voice. It sounded different. Tetsu couldn't figure out why. His tone was the same as it had been since they arrived at the hospital, quiet and soothing but with an edge of anxiety hidden beneath it. Tetsu shifted his head. He was still in Hiroshi-san's arms, still cradled against his chest. It was exactly where he wanted to be, so he felt no need to move or speak.

"Tetsu-chan, are you awake? Please respond if you can."

"His breathing seems to indicate that he's regained consciousness." Another stranger's voice. Male. Mature. Too close. Tetsu tensed up, curling into Hiroshi-san's hold.

Hiroshi-san's arms tightened around him in response. "Tetsu-chan? It's a doctor. We're in an exam room now. Can you answer some questions?"

Oh. That was why Hiroshi-san's voice had sounded different. They were in a smaller room now, no background noise, no echoing emptiness of a large waiting area. Tetsu forced his eyes open, though he still couldn't make out much more than a confusing blur that shifted when Hiroshi-san did, adjusting his grip on him.

Kuroko blinked. He saw a dark red blur over a pinkish-white blur against the wall nearby. "Taiga-nii?" His voice sounded slurred.

"I'm here." Taiga scooted his chair closer and reached out to take Tetsu's hand.

Tetsu sighed and closed his eyes again. He couldn't bring himself to care about the doctor. As long as Hiroshi-san and Taiga were with him, he would be okay.

"Tetsu-kun," the doctor said. He kept his voice low and kind, mirroring Hiroshi-san. "I know you're not feeling well. I just need you to answer a couple of questions to help me figure out what's wrong with you, all right?"

Tetsu hummed his agreement, but refused to open his eyes again.

"Have you been having body aches and muscle soreness?"

Well, yes, but Tetsu didn't see how that had anything to do with his sickness. It was true, so he managed to make an affirmative noise. The sound was somewhat muffled against Hiroshi-san's shirt, but the doctor seemed satisfied.

"Sore throat? Difficulty swallowing?"

Affirmative noise. That had just started today, but it was true, too.

"Coughing or sneezing?"

No.

"Sinus congestion?”

Tetsu hesitated. He wasn’t sure what that meant, and he couldn’t muster the energy to figure it out.

“That would be a painful feeling around your nose and eyes. It might feel as if someone punched you, even though no one has."

Another affirmative noise, this one surprised as well. Tetsu hadn't known that that feeling was a symptom. He figured that he felt like he'd been punched because...well...he had been punched. Not in the face, though, so it _had_ seemed odd when his cheeks and eyes started aching.

"Your ear looks a little swollen. Has that been paining you? Especially inside the ear?"

Yes. His father had slapped him there a while ago. It never quite stopped hurting. It might have even started hurting more lately, though Tetsu didn't know why.

"Your friends here said you were roughed up recently. Did you have any cuts or scrapes that didn't heal right, that seemed red and inflamed?"

Taiga piped up for that one. "Yeah, he has."

The doctor was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, he didn't seem to be talking to Tetsu anymore. "Well, it's no wonder he's so ill. Infected wounds, an ear infection, and the beginnings of a bad case of influenza. And that's just off the top of my head."

Tetsu's family said nothing. Then Hiroshi-san spoke. "What now?"

"We need to get him a bed. IV antibiotics and fluids, to start with. We'll do some blood cultures to figure out exactly what's going on in that sick little body, and we'll attack it with everything we've got."

Hiroshi-san's hand flattened against the side of Tetsu's head, pressing him close to his heart. "So we're talking multiple infections, then."

"Plus the flu, which is viral. You have a very sick young man there, Kagami-san. And I'm to understand you were waiting in emergency for over two hours? That is unacceptable. I will speak with the nurses."

Hiroshi-san made a dismissive noise. "They didn't realize how serious it was. None of us did. Tetsu-chan is very talented at hiding just how much distress he is in."

"Yeah," Taiga said soberly.

"Never mind that," Hiroshi-san said. "I'm more worried about the future. What's the prognosis, doctor?"

"If we can keep the infection from moving to his lungs and becoming pneumonia, we'll be in good shape. As I said, we'll attack this with everything we have. We'll keep Tetsu-kun tonight for observation and to give him a good boost with the IV. If all goes well, you'll be able to take him home tomorrow or the day after to finish his recovery, but he will need a lot of care."

"That won't be a problem. He'll have both of us attending to his every need and desire, I can assure you of that."

"Yeah." Taiga squeezed Tetsu's hand.

The doctor made an amused noise. "I see. Well, hold tight. I'll see about getting a gurney for you."

There were rustling cloth noises, the opening and closing of a door, and the stranger wasn't in the room anymore. It was just Tetsu and his family now, and he was finally able to relax. He went limp on Hiroshi-san's chest again, a relieved sigh wheezing out.

"Tetsu-chan?" Hiroshi-san's fingers ran through his hair. "Did you understand that? You're going to be all right. Just a day in the hospital, two at most, and we'll get you home and take care of you there."

Tetsu made a noise of understanding. He shifted where he lay, trying to find a comfortable spot, but it was impossible. He was still hot and achy and exhausted. And he was not looking forward to two days in a hospital, where he knew he would be continually examined and bothered and stared at by people he did not know. Being sick was extremely uncomfortable.

They seemed aware of his discomfort, somehow. Hiroshi-san stroked his hair. Taiga continued to hold his hand.

"You won't be alone," Taiga said. His voice was firm and decisive. "I know you don't like being alone, especially when there are strangers around. So don't worry. Me or Dad, or both of us, will be with you the whole time you're stuck in here."

Tetsu forced his eyes open and gave him a smile. "Thank you, Taiga-nii."

He still wasn't happy about it. But that helped. It helped a lot. When the swamp started to suck him down again, Tetsu decided not to fight it.


	38. Chapter 38

"Taiga-nii, will you tell me a story?"

Kagami still wasn't sure how this had become his life. It had all happened very quickly. And he wasn't upset about it, at all. Quite the opposite. But he hadn't quite finished adapting to it, and he still got weirded out by all of the things that had never happened to him before that apparently were going to happen to him now.

Because he had a little brother now. A very cute, sweet little brother, to be sure. A little brother who was currently very sick and not quite in his right mind, who was nervous around strangers and therefore somewhat clingy and needy, who needed to be comforted frequently and was not ashamed to ask for it. 

Tetsu did not like the nurses. When they came to check on him, he went very still and quiet and let them do their business. But he watched them with sleepy, suspicious eyes the entire time and didn't relax until they left again. He knew they were just doing their jobs, but he still resented their presence.

As soon as the latest round had finished and the nurse left the room, Tetsu had looked to Kagami and reached out a hand for him, his eyes wide and pleading. "Taiga-nii." It was not quite a demand, but it was getting close.

Kagami sighed, shoulders slumping. "You want me to sit with you again?"

"Yes." Tetsu's voice was firm. He'd even quit saying "please" a few hours ago. Apparently since Kagami was nii-san now, this was simply expected.

Kagami grumbled quietly, though he didn't really mean it. He lowered the rail on the side of Tetsu's bed and sat on the edge, kicked off his slippers, then swung his legs up and scooted back so that he was sitting next to his little brother on the half-reclined hospital bed. His arm automatically reached out to wrap around Tetsu's shoulders, and Tetsu leaned into him with a tiny, satisfied sigh.

His breathing was still too rough and raspy, and his body was still far too warm where it pressed along Kagami's side. The fever continued to mess with Tetsu's head, and Kagami knew that he had strange and disturbing dreams every time he drifted off, mostly because Tetsu sometimes talked in his sleep. That was certainly unpleasant. But it had been almost a day now since Tetsu had been admitted, and he had improved a great deal from the near-unresponsive state he'd been in when they first hooked up the IV and started pumping him full of medicine and fluids.

When he first came out of his stupor, Tetsu had looked around with panic in his face that didn't fade until both Kagami and his dad pushed over to his bedside and made sure he could see their faces. Dad brushed the hair back from Tetsu's face, and Kagami took his hand, not surprised when Tetsu squeezed back with all his strength, almost desperate as he did everything he could to make sure that they were really there, that they hadn't left him. It had taken about ten minutes of constant talking and soothing touches before Tetsu relaxed against the pillow again, his eyes falling half-shut.

Even then, he had refused to sleep again, shaking his head stubbornly whenever anyone suggested that he needed more rest. And he wouldn't let go of Kagami's hand. No matter how relaxed he looked, his fingers remained tight and desperate, squeezing Kagami's palm hard enough that he could swear it was going to leave a mark.

It was Dad who figured out that Tetsu was missing the way he had been held back in the waiting room. Even though he hadn't wanted to sleep then, either, he had been much more relaxed leaning against Dad's chest than he was now, safely ensconced in a hospital bed with all the wonders of modern medicine fighting for his healing. As soon as it occurred to him, Dad climbed into the bed next to Tetsu and put an arm around him, and Tetsu leaned into his side and finally, finally relaxed. His fingers loosened around Kagami's hand, though they didn't let go, and Kagami bent over the other side of the bed and let himself breathe.

Tetsu even slept then, the first true, restful sleep he'd had since Maji Burger. He had woken looking much more refreshed and like himself. The dreams hadn't started in earnest until later. Kagami was grateful that Tetsu had gotten one period of slumber that had been truly helpful, truly healing. The times since then had been...not as good.

So he didn't mind when Tetsu held out a hand and asked Kagami to sit with him. The first few times he had been hesitant and embarrassed, as if he wasn't sure he had the right to make such a bold request. That had faded as Kagami responded instantly and calmly, treating it as a normal part of being brothers, and now he asked for Kagami's presence with complete confidence. It had been the same way with the hugs, earlier. Once Tetsu had been convinced that it was okay to ask for comfort, he started doing it often.

The only thing that was really embarrassing, and even that wasn't really a big deal, was the fact that they weren't quite alone. Tetsu's roommate was an older man in the hospital for a hip replacement, and he was not shy about staring. He watched them with the face that people used for baby animals and tiny children, and he occasionally commented on what good brothers they were. Kagami knew his face turned red from his chin to the top of his forehead, every single time. Fortunately, the old man spent most of his time asleep or reading the newspaper.

So now Kagami was sitting with Tetsu in a hospital bed that was really not made to hold two people, trying to think of a story.

"What kind of story do you want?" he asked after a little bit. "I could tell you about basketball practice." Dad had taken over hospital duties so Kagami could go to weekend practice as well as stop home to bathe and change. Now it was his turn to stay with Tetsu while Dad refreshed himself.

Tetsu shook his head, which amounted to rubbing it on Kagami's shoulder. "No, I want a story about you. We're brothers now, but there's still so much I don't know about you. What was LA like? How did you meet Himuro-san? Do you miss America? What happened when you got bit by that dog, and why does it still scare you so much? What happened to your mom? Is she dead, too? Why did you decide to come to Seirin? Do you remember Japan before you moved to America? Do you have friends from back then?"

"Okay, okay." Kagami blinked, trying to sort through it all. "I get the picture."

Tetsu subsided, going still against him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overwhelm you."

"It's okay." Kagami tightened the arm around him and stared down at his sock-clad feet on top of the covers some distance down from the lump formed by Tetsu's curled up frame. "I'm just trying to think... Some of those stories are not very happy."

"I didn't say I wanted a happy story. I want a story about you."

"Right." Kagami tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling. "Well, to start with, I do remember Japan before we moved to America. I was in elementary school at the time. I had friends here, but all I remember are nicknames—Shou-chan, Izumin. We never exchanged contact information, or if we did I lost it long ago. We weren't even in Tokyo then, but way out in the country. I think moving to America was a big step up for my dad, for his career. That doesn't mean I was happy about it, though. America was very big and different and scary, and the language was weird, and I didn't know anyone. My dad was working long hours, and my mom... Well, it was a hard time for all of us."

"That sounds rough," Tetsu said softly.

"Yeah." Kagami didn't much like remembering that time. But he would do it, for Tetsu. It wasn't as rough as ending up in the hospital with internal damage from your father beating you. "This might shock you, but I had trouble making friends. I was surly and impatient, and I wasn't good at communicating."

Tetsu snickered into his shoulder. "I'm very shocked, yes." He sobered immediately, though, and sighed in sympathy. "Poor little Taiga-nii."

"Well, it didn't last for long. I met Aniki on the street one day, and we got along immediately. He told me that the best way to make friends was to have something I liked to do that I could share with people. So we started playing basketball, and then we pestered Alex until she agreed to teach us. It was great."

Kagami was quiet for a moment, remembering. "Aniki was right, too. All the best things in my life have come from playing basketball." He held his little brother a little tighter.

Tetsu yawned and curled up even closer against him. "Don't be sappy, Taiga-nii. Tell me about the dog bite."

"Tch." Kagami's lip twisted. "This really isn't a pleasant story."

"Don't care. Tell me what happened to you. I want to understand."

"You're pushy when you're sick."

"Yes." Tetsu wrapped one hand in Kagami's shirt and tugged, hard, urging him to continue. "But you're letting me, so it's your own fault."

Kagami wrinkled up his nose. He supposed it was true. "You still don't have to push me. That's your choice."

"Stop stalling and tell me."

"Stop talking and let me." Kagami nudged his side with his free fist, his other arm tightening around him.

"Not fair, Taiga-nii." Tetsu shoved back as hard as he could, which was not very hard at all, considering how weak he was. "Don't pick on your sick little brother."

"Using your illness as an excuse? That's low, Tetsu-chan."

They engaged in a low-key, sideways wrestling match that was as ridiculous as it was gentle. Well, it was gentle on Kagami's part. Tetsu was clearly giving pretty much everything he had to it, but he still couldn't budge Kagami so much as a centimeter. They stopped when Tetsu's panting got too alarming, and Kagami abruptly halted his pushing and grabbed Tetsu's wrist to make him stop.

"Tetsu-chan, Tetsu-chan, relax. You're wearing yourself out."

Tetsu struggled against his grip for a bare second, then suddenly went limp, his head falling back against the pillow with a muffled _whump._ It sounded like someone had punched a marshmallow. "Ugh. I need water."

"I got it." 

Kagami pulled away enough to stretch out one arm to the bedside table and fetch a glass of water, then brought it back. Tetsu held the glass with both hands, but Kagami kept a hand on it, anyway, steadying it while Tetsu drank. Sweat had popped out on his forehead and cheeks, and Kagami knew that was a good sign. The fever was breaking, slowly releasing its grip on Tetsu's body. It was still disturbing to see how exhausted a silly little shoving match could make him, though.

Tetsu eventually pushed the water away, and Kagami set it back on the table, then settled next to him on the bed again. "I'll tell you about the dog bite, okay? I really don't mind."

Tetsu nodded wearily. He turned over on his side and balled up, facing Kagami, his head on his shoulder and his drawn-up knees pressing into Kagami's side. "You don't have to tell me if it bothers you that much."

"I just told you that I don't mind."

Tetsu's sigh was muffled in his shirt. "I'm being obnoxious."

"No, you're sick and out of it and uncomfortable. And you're stubborn, which is normal for you. Besides, little brothers are supposed to be obnoxious." And adorable and lovable and all of the other things Tetsu was without even trying.

Tetsu tilted his head thoughtfully. "And what are big brothers supposed to be like?"

"I don't know, but it looks like they're supposed to snuggle a lot and tell stories."

Tetsu laughed and went limp against his shoulder. He actually laughed. It was quiet and tender and bubbling, not hysterical and high-pitched like the time he laughed at Kagami and Aomine, nor bitter and choked like that time in his bedroom. It sounded like it might be Tetsu's real laugh, for once, and Kagami loved it unreasonably.

"Tell me a story, then."

"All right. I was ten years old and Aniki was eleven. We had heard stories about a streetball court in a certain part of LA where the players had an unusual style, and we wanted to go see them. So we took a bus. But we got off at the wrong stop and ended up in a neighborhood... Well, looking back, it was sketchy. It was no place for two young kids who were still learning the language to hang around. But it seemed deserted at the time, no one in sight anywhere. So we just started walking, looking for the basketball court. It was summer in LA, and it was hot. Hotter than it gets here. We were walking on cracked concrete with weeds growing out of the cracks, and beside us were broken chain fences and concrete walls scribbled with graffiti in Spanish and English."

Tetsu made a noise of wonder. "Taiga-nii is painting a picture with his words."

"Shut up, I'm telling you a story. All of a sudden I heard this high-pitched little meow. I knew it was a cat, but I'd never heard a cat sound like that. It was terrified. I took off running, and Aniki tried to grab my arm and stop me, but I got away from him. I came around the corner of a broken fence into an empty lot, and there was a kitten, running as fast as it could through the weeds. Its leg was hurt, and I could see that it wasn't going to make it. Right behind it was this pack of wild dogs. I guess there were four or five of them, though at the time it seemed like a lot more."

Tetsu caught his breath. "Oh no. Please, Taiga-nii, tell me you ran away. Tell me you didn't run toward such a dangerous situation."

Kagami snorted. "I would like to say that, but it would be a lie. The pack of dogs didn't look that dangerous to me. They weren't like the coyotes you see around LA sometimes. _Those_ look wild and dangerous. They just looked like pets that had gotten away from their owners. So yeah, of course, I raced toward that little kitten and scooped it up in my hands. Aniki yelled his head off, but I ignored him. Then I saw all those dogs, still running toward me. They were barking, spit flying from their mouths, and their eyes... Yeah, it was scary. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. Your scissors-stabbing friend has nothing on them. And I could tell that they'd given up on chasing the kitten and decided to go after me instead."

Tetsu shivered, his fingers tightening their grip on Kagami's shirt. "Oh, Taiga-nii..."

Kagami ruffled his hair. "It's okay. I'm fine now. Yes, I turned to run, but one of the big ones, I think maybe a rottweiler, jumped on my back and knocked me to the ground. I curled up as I fell and tried to keep myself from landing on the kitten, so I got the wind knocked out of me pretty bad. Then I felt this horrible, tearing pain in my leg, and I screamed. I heard Aniki screaming, too. It might have gotten really bad, but all of our yelling had attracted attention from the guys hanging out at the bodega across the street. They came over with baseball bats and chased off the dogs, and someone called an ambulance. One of them even took the kitten home, telling me in Spanish that I was a brave chiquito and his daughter was going to love the kitten. So everything turned out fine, all right? Stop looking so worried."

"Taiga-nii is so brave." Tetsu was trembling. He also sounded like he might be crying. 

Kagami turned toward him in alarm. "Hey! Hey, stop that. I didn't want to make you cry, you idiot. I thought you wanted a story."

"I did want a story." Tetsu wiped at his eyes with both hands. Kagami held his shoulders and watched him anxiously. After a moment, Tetsu gathered himself enough to look up and give Kagami a shaky smile. "I think I know what big brothers are supposed to be like. They're supposed to be protective, and kind, and concerned for those smaller than themselves. So I think you're a perfect big brother, Taiga-nii."

"Ah, stop that." Kagami leaned back and rubbed the back of his head, his face heating up. He had to look away, which just meant that he met the eyes of that old man across the room, who was smiling at them like he'd just found a whole _basket_ of the cutest kittens in existence.

"I understand now why you're still nervous around Nigou," Tetsu said, curling up into his side again. "Don't worry." He patted Kagami's chest. "We'll fix that for you, just like you're fixing all the things that I'm scared of."

Kagami sighed and settled down next to him. "Okay. We'll keep working on it."

A little while later, Tetsu fell asleep, worn out by the wrestling match and the story. Kagami was pretty sure he didn't even dream this time.


	39. Chapter 39

Recovering from a long, serious sickness was like being reborn, Tetsu decided later. Incidents happened that he could hardly remember afterward, or not at all, and others that he could recall with stunning clarity. He knew he was in the hospital for about two days, then went home to sleep on a futon in the main room where Taiga and Hiroshi-san could both take care of him with no impediments. But he could remember neither how he got to the hospital nor quite how he left. He suspected that he had slept through both trips, curled up as close to Hiroshi-san as he could get.

He remembered being lost in a haze of misery, his body too hot, too weary, too full of aches and pains, the unbearable weight of it all pressing down on him like a boulder on his back. He also remembered being cradled in Hiroshi-san's arms as if he was half his actual age, being cuddled and cosseted and soothed like a small child. He wasn't embarrassed at the time, too busy absorbing every gram of comfort and affection like a starved creature. And he wasn't much embarrassed later, either, not least because he almost felt like he had been a different person before and during his illness. The entire period was bathed in warmth and light in his mind, and this warmth was not from the fever.

"Well, and why would you be embarrassed?" Taiga asked sometime later when Tetsu brought it up not because he expected a useful comment from his blunt big brother, but simply because it was an oddity that stuck in his mind. "You were sick and hurting, and Dad would do anything to help you. There's nothing embarrassing about that. Besides, I think Dad was grateful for the opportunity to treat you like a little kid, since he didn't get to have you when you were actually little. He'd cuddle you right now if you let him, but it's harder when you're in your right mind and being your usual dignified self."

Tetsu blinked. He hadn't expected Taiga to have so much to say in answer to his meaningless reminiscence. "That's surprisingly insightful, Taiga-nii."

Taiga snorted. "Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head."

Tetsu nodded, and the next time Hiroshi-san casually slung an arm around his shoulders, he leaned into it harder than usual and put his arm around Hiroshi-san's back in return. If Hiroshi-san wanted to cuddle him, he wasn't going to object. Ever. One benefit of being reborn through fever was that many of the barriers he had constructed between himself and the world were gone, and they were never coming back. And one benefit of having a new family that had been thoroughly Americanized in LA was the abundance of physical affection.

Most of the clearest memories Tetsu had from his sickness were of Taiga's stories. He remembered curling into Taiga's side in the hospital bed, or putting his head in his lap at home (according to Taiga, Tetsu had bullied him into both positions), then listening quietly while Taiga told him about his life before they met. The story about the wild dogs and the kitten had been scary. The one about his mom had been sad. And infuriating.

"I guess it's an old story," Taiga said, though the discomfort in his voice suggested that it had certainly been new to him. "She wasn't happy. So she found a way to make herself happier."

They were at home, now. Tetsu was in that stage of sickness where he was wretchedly uncomfortable, but there wasn't anything anyone could do about it, so it just had to be endured. He had kicked off all the covers and rucked up his futon trying to find a comfortable way to lie, and he had failed. When Taiga came and sat down next to him, Tetsu groaned pitifully, then crept over to him and put his head on his knee, lying with his bottom half on his futon and his top half pressed against the cool floor.

Taiga chuckled sympathetically and pet his head. "Are you a cat now, Tetsu-chan?"

"No." Tetsu rubbed his face fretfully on Taiga's knee, then went as still as he could. The floor felt good on his overheated skin. "Tell me a story, Taiga-nii." It was beginning to be a familiar demand.

Taiga carded his fingers through his hair. "What do you want to hear about this time?"

"Tell me about your mom. Tell me about what happened to her."

Taiga's fingers stilled. "This isn't a happy story, Tetsu-chan."

Tetsu sighed. "I know. Tell me anyway." He doubted that a happy story would make him feel any better right now. Might as well get all the misery out of the way at once.

So Taiga blew out a breath and began.

Tetsu held very still, trying to understand. "Why was she unhappy? And what did she do to make herself happier?"

"I told you that the time right after we moved to America was difficult for all of us. I was a miserable kid, always whining about how much I hated LA and how no one liked me and I didn't like anyone else. Looking back, I can see that my mom was having the exact same problems. And Dad... He just wasn't there. He worked, and worked, and worked. I was lucky to see him once a day, late at night when he came home a few minutes before I went to bed. It was rough on me, but it was even more rough on my mom. We were all drifting away from each other."

Tetsu tilted his head more heavily into his brother's knee. "Your hardship drove you apart instead of drawing you together."

"Yes. I suppose it was all of our faults, in a way. It should have been the other way around. Instead of treasuring the little time we had with each other, we began to resent the times we were kept apart, and that made us resent each other, too, because much of the separation was by choice. And I suppose my mom blamed my dad for most of it, since it was his career that took us there, and his decision to go."

Tetsu's heart ached. He began to see where this story was going.

"My life improved a lot when I met Aniki and started playing basketball. So when I noticed that Mom seemed happier too, I thought the same sort of thing must have happened for her. She'd found a friend, or a group of friends, and something she could do to enjoy herself in LA, and everything would be good now. But I was wrong. My mom's new friend was...not really a friend."

"A lover," Tetsu said softly.

"Yeah." Taiga rubbed his fingers through Tetsu's hair. "It took my dad a long time to catch on. Months. Years, even. I was too young to understand. So by the time he realized and tried to do something to fix it, it was too late. There was...a lot of screaming."

Tetsu winced. _Poor little Taiga-nii._ He didn't say it aloud. It was...too little. And far too late.

"My mom said some things that I'm sure she regretted, later. But the worst was when I stumbled into the kitchen after a basketball game, sweaty and triumphant from our win, and found them yelling at each other. All of my happiness ran away in an instant, and Mom turned to me, looked me up and down, saw how filthy I was. And she pointed her finger at me and yelled to my dad, 'You are both alike, in love with this hellish country for no reason I can understand, and I can't endure it any longer.'"

Taiga didn't say the words in a yell. His tone was calm and smooth, the same casual volume he had used for the entire story. But his fingers trembled against Tetsu's scalp.

Tetsu caught his breath. "Oh, Taiga-nii."

Taiga kept going. "Then she turned and walked out of the kitchen. She packed a bag, and she left."

Tetsu's eyes blurred with tears. How could she? How could she say that? All this time later, and Taiga still remembered it word for word. It must have pierced his heart like a knife. Tetsu knew how hard it was for a child not to blame himself when something went wrong in his family, and Taiga's mother had said that she couldn't endure him, had all but yelled it in Taiga's face...

"Dad still tried to fix it, but... Eventually he had to give up. And then it was just the two of us. Things changed, though. Dad didn't work nearly as much. He started giving up opportunities so he could spend more time with me. He came to every basketball game. And he told me again and again that it wasn't my fault that she left, that the blame was entirely his. It was hard to believe him, though."

They were quiet for a moment.

"I haven't thought about that for a long time," Taiga said. "Years. I guess Dad finally convinced me, because... I'm sorry, Tetsu-chan. When you were having so much trouble understanding that what happened to you wasn't your fault, I should have remembered what it felt like. I guess I thought it was more obvious that you weren't to blame for your father beating you with a belt, though."

"No." Tetsu held still for a moment, then pushed himself up onto his knees. Taiga tried to stop him, grabbing his shoulders and making distressed noises, but Tetsu batted at his hands and continued anyway. There he knelt on the floor, swaying like a reed, and stared into his brother's face. And he reached up to pat his head, letting his fingers fall heavily into the mess of dark red hair. "Neither of us were to blame. I'm sure of that now."

Taiga let out his breath in a rush, as if he'd been holding it. And he reached out and pulled Tetsu into a warm, tight hug. "No," he murmured. "No, we weren't."

Tetsu closed his eyes against Taiga's shoulder and let himself be held, even though it was too close and uncomfortable for him right now. This was for Taiga, not for himself, and it felt good to be able to give back to him, to return some of the overwhelming amount of generosity and love that had been poured out on Tetsu since the first time he crossed the threshhold into this home. Even if it was in a very small way, like letting Taiga hug him.

"Where is your mother now?" he asked after they drew apart a little. Tetsu watched Taiga's face, and Taiga stared away at the corner of the room and rubbed his arm over his eyes.

"I don't know. Still in America, I guess." Taiga huffed out a laugh. "Isn't that funny, that me and Dad are back here in Japan, and she's stuck in the country she hated so much?"

No. No, it wasn't really funny at all.

Taiga didn't know where she was. That meant they weren't in contact. At all. She was alive, but she had left. She had left completely. Tetsu didn't know which one was worse.

"I’m sorry, Taiga-nii."

A rough shrug. "It was a long time ago."

But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It didn’t mean that Taiga didn’t care. Tetsu watched him carefully, then finally returned to his futon and lay down again. "Tell me a story about something else, Taiga-nii."

Taiga snorted and complied. It was the quickest way to smooth over the hurt of that story, and they were both content to let it fade.

Other stories were not as harrowing. Taiga told him about basketball games and food trucks and sleepovers with Himuro. He talked about school in America, the songs they sang in the classroom and the games they played on the playground and the food they ate in the cafeteria. Birthday parties with classmates and trips to the beach and trying to surf with Alex (an utter failure on all fronts). The color of the sky and the scent of the air and the yells of the players on the basketball court. Taiga kept saying he wasn't good at telling stories, but Tetsu decided early on that this was a lie, and a poor one at that.

Tetsu told stories in return, too, though not as many. It was too tiring. Both talking and remembering took a huge amount of effort, mostly because his mind was a very muddled and confused place for as long as the fever had its grip on him. But Taiga seemed to appreciate his efforts, no matter how feeble they were. It was really nice to get to know each other.

Tetsu knew he had bad dreams during his illness, but later he couldn't remember much about them. No doubt they had been about his father, memories of the pain he had suffered in the past butting up against the reality of pain in his present and making everything worse than it truly was. The more time he spent with Taiga and Hiroshi-san, though, the more the bad was overwritten with the good. He knew that there were nights while the fever was very high that one or the other stayed at his side the entire time, soothing him back to sleep every time the dreams woke him, but they succeeded so well that he remembered almost nothing of those times.

Even after he passed through the sickness and came out the other side, Tetsu still had nightmares every now and then. He thought he probably always would. But they were easy to deal with. He would just drag a futon to Taiga's room and lie down on the floor by his bed and listen to him breathe, and the panic and pain would be washed away, breath by strong, peaceful breath, until he could sleep restfully to the morning. The first time, Taiga stepped on him by accident when he got out of bed, which terrified Taiga and startled Tetsu, both of them yelling so loudly that Hiroshi-san raced into the room half-dressed to see what the problem was. 

After that, Taiga was more careful to look around in the morning. And sometimes he woke up when Tetsu came into his room. He would blink sleepily at Tetsu while he set up his futon and blanket, and sometimes if it didn't look too bad he would just turn over on his side and go back to sleep. But if Tetsu looked particularly upset, he would snag his wrist and drag him under his own covers so he could wrap an arm around him and snuggle him to sleep. If Tetsu tried to protest, he would shush him in a rough, half-asleep voice and tell him that nii-san knew best and he should shut up. Tetsu would have no choice but to sigh and accept it.

While he was sick, other people came to visit Tetsu, too. Teammates both current and past, friends new and old. Aomine brought Nigou over as often as he could get away with it. Kiyoshi and Hyuuga had another fight right there by Tetsu's futon in the main room, though Tetsu had no idea what it was about. Later, he was able to remember the faces of his visitors, but very little of what was said when they came. He knew they all cared about him and wanted him to be well, and that was enough.

The strangest thing... The strangest thing was that Tetsu remembered Akashi's face being among those of his visitors. But that couldn't be true. He must have imagined it. 

He had a feeling that he needed to apologize to Momoi-san, but he couldn’t remember why.

Then came a day when he woke from a sound sleep and felt...strange. He stared up at the ceiling for a little while, trying to figure out what was different. He could hear Taiga rummaging about in the kitchen, humming under his breath, which probably meant that Hiroshi-san was nearby, too. But Tetsu was currently alone on his futon, and he felt fine.

He felt… _well._ His body wasn’t burning with excess heat and his feet weren’t icy cold despite doubling up on socks. The body aches from the flu had faded, and even his back didn’t twinge from laying on it. He swallowed, and his throat didn’t seize up. His head wasn’t pounding and his ear wasn’t sore. He felt fine.

Tetsu had made it. He was through the fever. He’d come out the other side.

Tetsu sat up slowly, feeling his head spin with the movement. His body felt empty, trembling with weakness. In a few minutes, once he’d had time to acclimate to this state of being, he was going to be very, very hungry. Starving. He couldn’t remember a whole lot of the past few days, but he knew he’d had difficulty eating much of anything. Now he was going to need more time to recover, to build his strength back up and reintegrate his body with his environment.

But he was whole. He was healed. He felt like a brand new person, trembling on the threshold of a sudden beginning. A chance to try it all again and get it right this time. A fresh start.

There was one thing he needed to do before he could truly embark on this new journey. Tetsu pushed himself to his feet and tottered off in search of Hiroshi-san, shaky but determined. He’d said they would talk about it again when Tetsu was well, and he was well now.

He wanted to be a Kagami.


	40. Chapter 40

"Hiroshi-san?" The voice was soft and somehow urgent at the same time.

Hiroshi spun around in his desk chair, his phone to his ear, and raised his eyebrows. Tetsu was leaning in the doorway to the office, fingers gripping the jamb to hold himself up. He was pale and panting as if he had just run a long distance, but his eyes were clear and his gaze was steady.

Hiroshi turned the phone against his shoulder to block the speaker. "Tetsu-chan? You're up!"

Tetsu nodded, only a little shakily. "I'm feeling better."

"Josh, I'll have to call you back," Hiroshi said into the phone in English. He ended the call and set the phone on the desk, then stood up and went to Tetsu. "Why don't you sit down before you fall down, Tetsu-chan?" He put an arm around his shoulders and gently turned him back the way he had come.

Tetsu let himself be guided back to the main room, leaning on Hiroshi almost as heavily as he'd leaned on the doorway. Hiroshi couldn't help wrapping a hand around his forehead to check his temperature, even though he already knew that the fever had broken and passed. He'd checked the sleeping Tetsu just twenty minutes ago, before he reluctantly retired to the office to try to get some work done, and he'd been normal then. Tetsu was still normal now, though obviously weakened by his long illness.

"I want...to talk to you..." Tetsu said as Hiroshi led him past the futon and blankets abandoned on the floor of the main room, back into the corner of the room where a sofa stood against the wall. Tetsu halted, blinking, when he saw the new furnishings. "I don't...remember this."

"Ah, yes, we've done some rearranging while you were sick," Hiroshi said. He lowered Tetsu down to sit in a corner of the sofa, then went to fetch a blanket from the floor and brought it back to wrap around him. "I bought this sofa and that entertainment center you see there. Did you know that Taiga never even bothered to buy a TV with the household budget I left him last year? He felt like the laptop was enough for anything he wanted to watch. But that's a little inconvenient for three people, so I had to step in and make some decisions. We can’t leave this place looking like a bachelor pad when a family is living here now."

"Oh." Tetsu settled down into the cushions, still staring around with wide eyes. "Things are...changing."

"Yes." Hiroshi watched him carefully. Tetsu still seemed a little dazed, but he was much more coherent and composed than he'd been since...well, since before Hiroshi had found him in Maji Burger. It was like meeting the boy for the first time all over again, and the thought made a warm burst of happiness rise in Hiroshi's chest, spilling out in a smile. "Ah, I'll get you some tea, all right? Don't go anywhere."

Tetsu blinked, his face blank, then relaxed abruptly. His head bowed and a small grin was almost hidden against the blanket he pulled up to his shoulders. "I won't go anywhere. I want to talk to you."

"So you said."

Hiroshi hustled into the kitchen and found that Taiga had already anticipated his need, a kettle set on to boil, tea and utensils laid out on the counter. "I'll bring out the food when it's ready," Taiga said quietly.

"What are you making?"

"Rice, grilled fish, steamed vegetables."

Simple food to ease Tetsu back into eating regularly again. Hiroshi grinned and ruffled Taiga’s hair. "You are very wise, Tiger Cub. I'm sorry you had to live alone for so long, but I'm glad that it turned you into such an excellent chef."

"You're only saying that because you don't want to cook." Taiga half-heartedly shoved Hiroshi's hand away, grinning bashfully at the praise. The kettle started to boil, so Hiroshi took it off the heat and prepared the tea.

He took a tray out to the main room to find Tetsu snuggled down into his corner of the sofa, half-asleep. Hiroshi didn't want to disturb him, but he also couldn't forget the urgency in his voice when he appeared in the office doorway. Tetsu had woken from his first deep sleep since he fell sick, and instead of resting a while longer or getting something to drink or any of the other things that would have made sense, he'd immediately searched for Hiroshi. Whatever he wanted to talk about must be very important to him.

Hiroshi set the tray on the end table and poured cups of tea for himself and Tetsu, then sat on the sofa next to him. Tetsu pushed the blanket down to his lap and gratefully accepted the cup Hiroshi set in his hands. Hiroshi held on for a moment to make sure Tetsu's grip would be steady and firm. It was. Though he needed more recovery time, Tetsu was on his way to regaining his strength.

Hiroshi tucked his feet under his knees and sipped his own tea. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"

Tetsu lowered his cup into lap and stared down at it, his cheeks heating up. "This...it may be presumptuous..."

Hiroshi shook his head. "Nothing you could want to ask me about will be presumptuous. You can approach me with anything. Please tell me what’s on your mind."

Tetsu raised a hand and rubbed it over his forehead, as if he could smooth out his rumpled thoughts with physical force. "I know I’ve been very sick. There are things I can’t remember very well, or at all. But I think you said… No, I know you did, because it was important, so I made it stick in my mind… You said that we would talk about it again when I was well." He lifted his head and met Hiroshi’s gaze frankly, his eyes wide and unafraid. "I’m well now. My mind is clear. And I still want you to adopt me."

"Ah." Hiroshi nodded slowly to show that he understood. He was amazed that Tetsu remembered that conversation with such clarity. It still frightened Hiroshi to remember how sick the boy had been in that moment, how he had struggled for coherence and comprehension. Hiroshi had maintained a strong front for his sons, declaring confidently that it was all no big deal and Tetsu would be fine as soon as he got some medicine, but inside he had been just as terrified as Taiga. He had envied Taiga's freedom to express his anxiety with endless pacing and nervous gestures. All Hiroshi had been able to do was sit there, holding Tetsu against his chest, and do his best to project an image of calm he did not feel at all.

The blank expression did not serve him well now, though. Tetsu blinked suddenly, wavering, faltering. "You did... You did mean it, didn't you? You...you don't... You didn't change your mind?"

"No!" Hiroshi startled at the thought and almost spilled his tea. He stilled his hands just in time, then carefully turned and set the tea on the end table where it would be safe. He turned back to Tetsu and wrapped his hands around his shoulders. "I meant it. I haven't changed my mind. You are already part of our family, Tetsu-chan, and that will never change. I think of you as my son already, no matter what a piece of paper may say. You are mine as firmly and as permanently as Taiga is, and I would never let either of you go."

Tetsu relaxed, his face opening up into a sweet smile. "I...thank you. I'm glad..." He paused, frowning again. "But then... Why did you want to wait to talk about it later? If you want me to your son, if you already think of me as one, then why haven't you already made it formal? I know I've been sick for several days. You had time."

Hiroshi squeezed his shoulders, then released him and sat back, still carefully watching his face. "My wishes aren’t the only ones that matter, Tetsu-chan. I couldn't pursue it until I was sure of what you want. We never really had a chance to talk about it, not in detail. It's a big decision, and I would never do something like that for you without your consent. Your unfevered, completely informed consent."

"I see." Tetsu nodded thoughtfully, his eyes fluttering closed for a second. "But I do consent. I told you then and I'm saying it again now. I want...I want that piece of paper you were talking about to have the right words on it. I want to be your son in name as well as in practice."

"All right." 

Hiroshi said nothing for a moment. He had no doubt that Tetsu was sincere. But he needed to make sure that this wasn't just because the boy was afraid that his father would be able to steal him away if they didn't take this drastic step. That had been the original idea, after all—he would adopt Tetsu to keep him safe, to remove his father from the equation. Because Saeki was an excellent lawyer and the blackmail had somehow gone flawlessly despite the lack of preparation, that was no longer an issue. 

He didn't want something this important to have its roots in fear. That was no foundation for any relationship, let alone one that Hiroshi intended to continue for the rest of their lives. "All right," he said again. "But let me show you something first." He stood up from the sofa, and moved toward the office again. "I'll be right back."

Tetsu blinked at him in confusion, but nodded easily enough. Hiroshi returned in under a minute. He gently took the teacup from Tetsu and set the custody agreement in his hands in its place. The document was a little worse for wear, having ridden around in Hiroshi's pocket for many hours before he'd been able to drop it off at home. But it was legible, and it was legal, and it was one of the best things Hiroshi had ever read, bar none.

Tetsu squinted his eyes at it, then looked to Hiroshi for an explanation. Hiroshi smiled. "Some of the language might be a little dense, but Taiga told me that you like to read, so I'm sure you'll be able to understand it just fine. That's the document that your father and I signed. I want you to understand what it says, to know it as well as you know your own hand."

Tetsu stared at the paper as if he could absorb it through his eyes. "And what is that? What does it say?"

"It says that I have custody of you. It is a contractual agreement. It is binding. It cannot be dissolved without mutual agreement, and I assure you that I will never agree to that. It says that your father will not be able to take custody of you again. I have the duty...the right, as I prefer to phrase it...to take care of your day to day needs, to live with you and guide you as a parent guides his child. This contract is iron-clad, Tetsu-chan. I want you to understand that."

Hiroshi could see how Tetsu's grip on the paper changed. He went from holding it like it was just another document to holding it like it was something precious, something to be treasured. It was the way Hiroshi held it, too.

The boy stared at the paper for a moment longer, not reading it, just taking it in. Then he looked up and met Hiroshi's eyes. "I understand. You're telling me that I'm safe. Completely safe. The adoption will not be necessary to make me safe. I may still be listed in the register as Kuroko, but my father no longer has any rights over me. He cannot take me away. He'll never be able to."

Hiroshi nodded. "Yes. I wanted you to understand that."

Tetsu slowly lowered the document into his lap. "I will... I will read this carefully later. Thank you for lending it to me. But what if... What if I still want you to adopt me?"

"Then we can talk about that. You need to understand the consequences. Because once I adopt you, that will be permanent, too. Your name will be Kagami. That will be a huge disruption to your life. Everyone at your school, all of your friends both old and new... Everyone in your life knows you as Kuroko-kun. If your name suddenly changes, everyone will know that something major has happened in your life. You won't be able to hide it anymore. And because they all know Taiga, too, and they know you are connected, you won't be able to pass it off as an adoption by a relative or anything like that. People will know that this is strange and unusual. It will make you a target for whispers, for gossip. Maybe for derision. There's a stigma against childhood adoption in this country. You're almost old enough to escape that, but not quite. People will notice."

"I see. I hadn't thought of that." Tetsu smoothed out the paper in his lap, and his eyes slipped away, toward the kitchen. "Then Taiga-nii will be a target, too."

"Don't worry about me," Taiga called from the kitchen, proving that he'd been listening to every word. "I can handle a few chattering idiots."

Tetsu smiled and lowered his eyes again. "I should have expected that."

"You would be the bigger target, anyway," Hiroshi said gently. "I know you're not used to being noticed. I imagine it will be very unpleasant for you to suddenly find yourself at the center of a lot of attention, especially since much of it will be negative. Some families who adopt young children choose to move and start anew somewhere else, just to avoid the social stigma. But I know both you and Taiga love Seirin and want to stay there, so that's not a solution."

Tetsu shook his head. "And my friends would still know. No, that wouldn't help. I appreciate the thought you've put into this, though."

Taiga appeared from the kitchen with a steaming bowl and a pair of chopsticks. "Hey, I made you some food. I know you're hungry, so don't even pretend you aren't. Please eat it all."

Tetsu blinked up at him for a moment, then smiled softly and set the document on the floor where it couldn't get spilled on. He held out his hands for the food. "Thank you, Taiga-nii. You've been taking such good care of me all this time."

"Yeah, and it's not gonna stop anytime soon." Taiga set the food in his hands and ruffled his hair. "I don't care what your family name is, okay? You know how much I like having brothers. You can call me Taiga-nii forever if you want to. And I'll keep calling you Tetsu-chan if you want me to."

"Yes, I do want that." Tetsu tucked into the food. "You didn't think it was just the fever talking, did you? You are Taiga-nii and I am Tetsu-chan. That's what I want."

"Okay. Good." Hiroshi didn't miss the way Taiga's shoulders loosened, tension running away. Perhaps he really had thought that it was the fever talking, but now that fear was relieved. Taiga sat down on the floor next to the sofa where he could keep an eye on both of them, and they let Tetsu eat his food. 

He ate steadily for several minutes, then suddenly slowed down, looking abruptly overwhelmed. His chopsticks hovered over the bowl, and he stared at them with a faint look of betrayal. "Ah." Hiroshi reached out and laid a hand over his. "Does your stomach hurt, Tetsu-chan?"

Tetsu looked up at him, that same betrayal reflecting in his eyes. "I was so very hungry. I thought I could eat enough to rival Taiga-nii. And I couldn't even finish this bowl."

Hiroshi chuckled and gently pried the bowl away from his hands. "It's all right. You haven't eaten very much for the past few days..." Or weeks, from what Taiga had told him... "So your stomach has shrunk. You'll need to eat small meals frequently for a while. Let your body get used to it again. You're all right."

Tetsu sighed and let him take the food. "It was more than a few days. The whole time my father was like that, I ate very little. I was not very kind to myself, was I?"

"You were under a lot of stress. It's understandable." Hiroshi set the bowl on the end table.

"I suppose." Tetsu stared down at his lap for a moment. Taiga and Hiroshi exchanged a glance. Then Tetsu rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at Hiroshi again. His eyes were wide, his expression straightforward. "It's already getting hard to remember that time. I feel very different now. Better. Stronger, in my heart if not in my body."

"Good," Hiroshi said softly. "I'm very glad to hear that, Tetsu-chan."

"And most of it is thanks to you two." Tetsu looked at Taiga, then back to Hiroshi. His expression was still very earnest, though Hiroshi didn't quite understand what he was driving at. "I do thank you for your concern, Hiroshi-san. You've put a lot of thought into what adoption would mean for me, the effects it would have on me and on my life. But there's something you don't understand."

Hiroshi went very still. He poured everything he had into listening, into understanding what his boy was trying to tell him. "And what is that, Tetsu-chan?"

"I'm already...I'm already not Kuroko anymore." Tetsu pressed his hands to his chest in a sudden gesture of distress. He looked down, his face twisting in pain, and Hiroshi started to reach out, but Tetsu shook his head and looked up at him again. Tears stood in his eyes. "It's true that part of the reason I wanted you to adopt me was to be sure that my father couldn't take me away from you. The thought of that terrifies me, and I'm grateful for your reassurance that that can never happen again. But that's not the only reason I don't want have that name anymore.

"Kuroko... Kuroko is dead now. I can feel that inside myself. I'm Tetsu now, in my mind, in my heart. Aomine-kun gave me that name first, and then you claimed it, too. It's separate from my father and the things he did to me. I don't want to be Kuroko. I can't even think of myself by that name anymore. It's too painful. 

"It hurts. It hurts very much. Perhaps a part of me will always grieve for Kuroko, for what he suffered and what he lost. But you spoke of a new beginning, a fresh start, and that's what I want. I want to have a new name. I want to be your son. I want to be Taiga-nii's brother. 

"I understand that there will be consequences. I understand that people will think it's strange. But I don't care about that. Other people can think whatever they want to think. What matters is this, here, in this room. You said we are a family now, and I don't care if everyone knows that. I _want_ everyone to know that. Let them gossip. Let them stare and point fingers and discuss the scandal of a new family. They don't matter.

"I want to be Kagami Tetsuya. Please, Hiroshi-san, accept me as your son in your name as well as in your heart. Erase my name from the Kuroko register and write it under your name in the Kagami register. Give me a new beginning and help me leave the past behind."

Hiroshi could barely see through his tears. "All right," he whispered. "All right, Tetsu-chan. I understand. Of course. Of course. That's exactly what we'll do." 

He reached forward and pulled Tetsu into his arms, holding him tight and close and safe, safe, safe. Tetsu's arms wrapped around him in return, and he pressed his face to Hiroshi's shoulder and melted into the embrace. A moment later, Taiga rose up from the floor and put his arms around them both, and Hiroshi and Tetsu both let go of each other with one arm and wrapped it around him. The three of them cried and laughed and held each other so tightly that breathing started to be an issue. And they became.

They became everything they were and everything they would be. A family of three, bonded and whole and complete in themselves and each other. They became.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit that this chapter was difficult to write because I felt ambivalent about it. I like the name Kuroko and I think it suits him, and it's hard to give that up, even in a fanfiction that isn't canon and doesn't matter. But sometimes when you're writing, a character will grab the reins and insist on certain things despite your misgivings and your own thoughts of how it should go. That's how it was here. Kuroko did not want to be Kuroko anymore, and I really can't blame him, after everything he's been through. Not only at the hands of his father, but also in canon, Kuroko has suffered a great deal of pain and mistreatment. He saw an opportunity to escape that, and he took it. And I, both as a writer and as someone who loves this character, had to accept his decision.
> 
> Next chapter, there will be Akashi and Murasakibara. Or at least, before the end of this thing. Which I am still figuring out how to end. I think we're getting close, though.


	41. Chapter 41

Tetsu stared at his phone. He wasn't sure he understood the text message he had received. Wasn't quite sure it was real, even though he was sitting here, staring at it, reading it over and over, and the words were clearly there. They clearly weren't changing. At all. He still couldn't believe it.

From: Akashi  
>>I'm going to come and visit you. When would be a good time?

"Oi." Taiga's voice startled him, and Tetsu jerked his head up and almost snapped his phone shut in sheer reflex. Taiga looked embarrassed, backing off a little with his hands up. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just wondered what had you sitting still for so long. Did something happen?"

"I don't know." Tetsu looked down at his phone for a moment, then simply held it out to Taiga. He'd been laying on the floor, sunning himself in the early evening sunlight that flowed through the ceiling-to-floor windows while he sent his text messages. Taiga crouched down next to him and took the phone, frowning at it with narrowed eyes.

"Ah, scissors-friend. You texted him about the name change."

Tetsu nodded. He had decided to inform all of his contacts about the change as casually as possible, hoping that it could simply be accepted without too much fanfare. He had been much too optimistic. Everyone except the Seirin team (and Aomine, Midorima, and Kise) had immediately responded with a barrage of confusion and questions. This was the first one who had threatened to come over to demand an explanation, though.

Taiga huffed out a breath and handed the phone back. "What are you going to tell him?"

Tetsu stared at the phone some more. "I don't know."

"You can tell him not to come, you know. He didn't even ask for permission, just told you he was gonna come here like he rules the world or something. You don't have to put up with that."

"He was polite enough to ask when would be a good time, though."

"Yeah, that's not winning a lot of points with me." Taiga shook his head. He was not particularly fond of most of the Generation of Miracles, but Akashi was his least favorite by a wide margin. 

Taiga lowered himself down to sit next to Tetsu, sprawling out with his hands behind his back to hold himself up as he leaned back, eyes closed and face turned toward the sun. Tetsu looked up at him, watching his profile. Taiga's presence was a comfort in every situation, he was beginning to believe. Even in such a trivial matter as responding to an estranged friend's text message.

"Is Hiroshi-san going to make me stay home from school tomorrow, too?"

Taiga opened one eye to look at him. "Are you still having trouble walking to the toilet without falling over?"

Tetsu heaved a sigh. They both knew the answer to both questions was yes.

Taiga closed his eye again and basked in the sun. "You still need a little more time to regain your strength. Don't worry. You're coming along fine. You'll be able to go back to school next week. You know, just in time for finals."

Tetsu gulped at the thought. "I'm not strong enough for that."

Taiga smiled. "Dad already talked to the school. They're going to make accommodations for you. You'll have extra time to study, and you’ll take the exams a little later than everyone else."

"That's...unusual." Tetsu frowned. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of his teachers treating him as a special case.

"No, it isn't. No one can blame you for falling seriously ill right before the most important tests of the year. The school would do the same thing for any other student who had a medical problem."

Tetsu hummed.

Taiga opened an eye to look down at him again, frowning deeply. "You're not still putting yourself down and thinking that your problems are no big deal and you should be able to deal with them on your own, are you? I thought we fixed that. For pity's sake, Tetsu-chan, you were in the hospital for two days, and you could barely move for another three. That's a serious medical problem. You deserve accommodations."

"Okay, okay." Tetsu rolled over on his side, putting his back to his brother. "I got it, I got it." He held his phone up to his face to look at the text message again, angling it so the sun didn't white out the screen.

"Idiot," Taiga said fondly. He nudged Tetsu's back with his knee.

Tetsu had the answer he needed, anyway. He tapped out the response.

To: Akashi  
>>I'll be home tomorrow and all weekend. You can come over whenever you like.

The answer came with astonishing swiftness.

From: Akashi  
>>I'll see you tomorrow. 2:00 PM.

He didn't ask for an address. Tetsu blinked at the screen for a moment longer, then rolled onto his back again to look at Taiga. "Did Akashi-kun come visit while I was fevered?"

The flesh around Taiga's eyes wrinkled. "We were pretty sure you wouldn't remember that. You were really, really out of it at the time. That's why he didn't stick around for long. Said it would be a wasted effort. I figured he was just being his usual high-and-mighty self, but I guess he really does want to have a conversation with you. One you'll remember."

"I suppose.” Tetsu closed the phone and slipped it into the pocket of his sweats. He didn't have the energy right now to answer all of the other texts he'd received. He truly did need to apologize to Momoi-san, though. She had been crying when she visited, he remembered that much. “He's coming over tomorrow afternoon."

"On a Friday, huh? Never took the Emperor of Rakuzan for a truant. I thought that was too common for the likes of him."

"Taiga-nii, you're not being fair." Tetsu aimed a light slap at Taiga's side, which he was far too lazy to dodge. "Akashi-kun changed back to the way he used to be after the Winter Cup. He doesn't deserve your recriminations."

Taiga scowled. "You really do think it was that much of a difference, don't you? Well, I don't care. It's not like he ever tried to reconcile with you. And I still haven't forgiven him for the way he treated you in middle school."

Tetsu's eyes widened, and he stared up at his brother in astonishment. So that was why Taiga was so hostile toward Akashi, and that hostility had never faded, even while he had managed to find some kind of equilibrium with the rest of Tetsu's former teammates. "That's awfully protective of you, Taiga-nii," he said with some wonder. "Were you my big brother before you were my big brother?"

Taiga opened both eyes and turned his head to gape at him for a moment, then blushed and looked away, muttering. "You always say such embarrassing things."

Tetsu giggled and turned away. "You were. You really were my big brother before you were my big brother. I'm glad I met you, Taiga-nii.”

"Shut up, brat." Taiga gave his shoulder a shove with absolutely no force behind it, then rolled up to his feet. "I'm gonna go to the convenience store and get you something to eat. You want onigiri or sushi or what?"

"You're not gonna cook for me, nii-san?" Tetsu asked, half-teasing. "I thought you were going to cook every meal for me from now on."

"I'm an okay cook and I even kind of like it, but six times a day is too much even for me. When you get back to three meals a day, I'll take over again."

"Taiga-nii is so lazy."

"I said shut up, brat." Taiga nudged him gently with his foot. "So what do you want?"

"You pick. I'm sure I'll like whatever you get." Tetsu yawned and stretched out in the sun again. "Just don't take too long. My stomach is growling already."

"Pushy little jerk," Taiga muttered, but his tone was far too soft and amused to match the words. 

Tetsu smiled and listened to him walk away. He'd been under the impression that fights between brothers were usually a lot more vigorous than this. Maybe it would be different when Tetsu regained more strength, but he doubted it. Taiga was too much of a softy. Tetsu felt sorry for everyone who didn't get to have him as a big brother.

But what did Akashi want to talk about? Tetsu couldn't imagine that it was going to be an attempt at reconciliation or anything like that. If Akashi had wanted that, he'd had plenty of time since the Winter Cup. Conversely, Tetsu could have tried to contact Akashi first, but he never had. He had been content to see his old captain return and to be aware that he'd had a hand in restoring him. Nothing else had seemed necessary.

Well, fretting about it wasn't going to change anything. He would find out tomorrow, that was all. No matter what it was, it was sure to be interesting.

Predictably enough, Taiga returned with both onigiri _and_ sushi, along with melon bread, chocolate Pocky, and three kinds of candy. They really should know better than to let Taiga go to the convenience store unsupervised. He was almost as bad as Murasakibara. 

Okay, no one was as bad as Murasakibara.

Taiga came in the door with a "Tch!" sound so loud that Tetsu opened his eyes and craned his head back to see what the matter was. Taiga didn't notice him, his eyes glued to his phone, a fierce scowl on his face. He dug into the plastic bag hanging on his elbow and pulled out a packet, then moved down the hall to stop at the office before coming back to the main room where Tetsu was.

The phone had already been put away by the time he got there, though the scowl had not. Taiga dropped the plastic bag down by Tetsu and practically fell to the floor to sit next to him, as well. He dug in the bag and pulled out several onigiri and a tray of sushi, then presented them for Tetsu's inspection.

Tetsu sat up and accepted the sushi. "What was that about?"

"Eh?" Taiga raised his eyebrows and looked up from the onigiri he was contemplating. He looked back toward the hallway and the office. "Oh, Dad likes those purple sweet potato Kit Kats, so I got some for him. He seemed grateful. He was in the middle of arguing with some guy called Josh."

Tetsu shook his head, though he had to grin at the image of Hiroshi-san chowing down on purple Kit Kats while he argued in English with a person named Josh. "No, I mean, what was on your phone that made your face go that way?"

Taiga made the face in question, wrinkled in a grimace, his tongue sticking halfway out of his mouth, and Tetsu laughed out loud. "Yes, that face. That's the one."

Taiga's grimace became less silly, more sincere. He eyed Tetsu morosely. "We screwed up, Tetsu-chan. I'm sorry."

Tetsu sobered, too, caught halfway through chewing his first piece of sushi. He didn't like how guilty Taiga looked. He was sure that whatever it was, it wasn't as bad as Taiga thought it was. "Please tell me what happened."

"I got a text from Aniki." Taiga heaved a sigh. "Your giant purple tree friend got suspicious and decided to snoop on his computer. And he found some photos that made him...very upset."

Tetsu went still, his hand pausing between the tray and his mouth with a maki roll. "Oh no."

Taiga nodded glumly. "I would blame my brother for having terrible password security, but apparently he shares his computer with Murasakibara for school, so it wouldn't have done any good."

"Murasakibara-kun probably got his own computer corrupted with viruses by downloading games from disreputable sites."

"Yeah, that sounds like something he would do."

Tetsu sighed and ate his sushi. He didn't have the wherewithal to be disturbed by this. So all of his friends probably knew now exactly why his name was being changed, except perhaps Momoi. Though she was probably pestering Aomine at this very moment, judging by her text messages, and Aomine was bound to crack sooner or later. As soon as Murasakibara discovered the truth, he would tell Akashi, because he still thought of their former captain as an authority figure in his life. That left...practically no one.

Except maybe Ogiwara. But he was one of the few who hadn't responded to the text message. Maybe he didn't care anymore. Tetsu had entertained some hope, after Ogiwara and his new classmates had shown up at the Winter Cup, that he might be able to make it up to his childhood friend somehow, that he might be able to undo some of the damage done in that disastrous last game of middle school. 

But they hadn't talked. Later, Tetsu had been too afraid to reach out first, and of course Ogiwara had had no reason to contact him. The text today had probably seemed like a bolt out of blue. Maybe Ogiwara had deleted his contact information, so he had no idea who that text had even come from.

"Hey." Taiga reached out and knocked a fist gently against his head. "I can see you being a worrywart again. Cut it out."

Tetsu shook it off and looked up to give him a smile. "I'm sorry. It's all right, really. Murasakibara-kun was bound to find out eventually. I'm just sorry that he saw those photos. That's a terrible thing to inflict on anyone, and he's probably the least able to handle that of any of my friends."

Taiga sighed, shoulders drooping. "Apparently he kind of wrecked Aniki's room."

Tetsu winced. "Please apologize to Himuro-san for me."

"No way." Taiga shook his head. "Aniki has no one to blame but himself. If anything, he owes you an apology for not being more careful. I know you didn't want anyone seeing those pictures. I sent them to Aniki as part of the plan, but after that, it was his responsibility to take care of them."

Tetsu nodded slowly and ate more sushi. His stomach was getting full already.

"Anyway, they're both coming down from Akita to visit this weekend. Are you okay with that? I'll tell them not to bother if you can't handle it."

Tetsu shook his head. "No, it's fine. I might as well talk to Murasakibara-kun sooner rather than later. Maybe I can get him feeling better about things before he has to take his finals." He might as well make an appointment with Momoi-san, too. Akashi on Friday, Murasakibara on Saturday, Momoi on Sunday? That might work.

"I'm sure he'll be glad to see you." Taiga gave him a smile. "We all feel better when we see that you're recovering, you know. It makes us happy to see you happy." 

Tetsu rolled his eyes. "So sappy, Taiga-nii."

"Nii-sans are allowed to be sappy about their little brothers."

"You're not as cute as you think you are."

"Hey! I'm adorable and you know it. I'm the cutest brand-new nii-san in all of Japan."

Tetsu paused for a moment to think about it. Taiga had been an official nii-san for a little more than five hours, now, since Hiroshi-san had finally gone and taken care of the paperwork earlier today. There might be cuter new nii-sans somewhere in Japan, tiny boys whose mothers had just given birth, that sort of thing. But Tetsu kind of doubted that any of them were more delighted, more overjoyed, more incandescent and shining and bright over their new status than Taiga was.

So he tilted his head and gave Taiga a smile in return, one that was just as bright and dazzling as Taiga's, if Taiga's dazed blinking was any indication. "Yeah, you probably are."

After a moment of startlement, Taiga laughed and lunged over the food to shove him down and ruffle his hair. "Shut up, brat! I swear, you are the worst little brother _ever._ How dare you say that so sincerely! You're unbelievable!"

Tetsu giggled and accepted the hair-ruffling. Having a nii-san was great. He didn't think he would ever get tired of it.


	42. Chapter 42

The photo texted from Murasakibara only confirmed what Akashi already knew. What he had suspected, anyway. Strongly suspected. So strongly suspected that it was tantamount to knowing. He couldn't tell the future, not really, but he would be an idiot indeed if he couldn't divine the past. Not when he had been given so many clues.

It didn't matter that the photo was blurry and poorly framed and low-resolution. Murasakibara had taken a picture of a computer screen with his phone, and white glare drowned out half of it. But not the half that mattered. That part was all too clear.

Also clear was the text message that accompanied the photo. It was riddled with spelling errors, as if it had been typed in a rage. No, not as if. Akashi knew that that was exactly what had happened. Murasakibara's hand must have been shaking badly, just as it was when he took that damning photo.

From: Murasakibara  
>>Aka-chin, who did this to Kuro-chin? You know, don't you?  
>>Tell me who it is so I can crush them.

Yes, Akashi knew. At least, he strongly suspected. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

To: Murasakibara  
>>Kuroko is safe now. I can promise you that.  
>>There is no need for you to crush anyone.

From: Murasakibara  
>>But I want to crush them.  
>>Me and Muro-chin are coming to Tokyo this weekend. I will crush whoever did this then.

To: Murasakibara  
>>You will only make things worse if you interfere. Kuroko is safe now.  
>>That is, Kagami Tetsuya is safe. He is the safest he has ever been.

From: Murasakibara  
>>I don't like that name. I won't use it.

To: Murasakibara  
>>But that is his wish. You will sadden him if you refuse to abide by it.  
>>We have caused Kagami Tetsuya enough sadness. We must not do it anymore.

The phone was silent for a long moment. Then:

From: Murasakibara  
>>All right, Aka-chin. You must be right. You always are.

 _Not always,_ Akashi thought. _Not when it matters the most._

To: Murasakibara  
>>I'll see you this weekend. Don't give Himuro too much trouble.

From: Murasakibara  
>>I'll be good. See you soon, Aka-chin.

Akashi closed the text program and went back to the photo. And he stared at it. It wasn't like him to obsess over things. He preferred to assess a situation, ascertain the correct action, take it, and move on without looking back. But this seemed to be an exception.

It was a three-quarters view of Kuroko, of Tetsuya, sitting curled up on the floor with his back to the camera. His head was down so his face was not visible, but he was immediately recognizable by his hair and by his physique. There was no way that Akashi could dismiss it as being someone else, could pass it off as a trick of the light or anything so simple. It didn't matter how grainy the shot was, how blurred and washed out and small. He knew who it was.

He knew what those marks were. The stripes on Tetsuya's back, red and inflamed, shading to purplish-black on the edges. The yellow-brown oblong smudges on his arms. The signs of weary defeat in his posture, the bow of his back. Akashi knew what they meant.

Akashi finally closed the phone and went about his tasks. He had a few preparations to make for the morrow.

The next day, he arrived at the Kagami apartment precisely on time. He was wearing casual street clothes, and he'd ditched every retainer who had attempted to keep up with him. He knocked on the door, once, gently, with the knuckles of one hand. Then he stood staring at the door, suddenly at a loss. He didn't know what to expect.

For a moment, he didn't even know why he had come. He wanted to run. Why did he want to run? Akashi had never run from anything in his life. A blank feeling he didn't recognize swept over him, paralyzing his limbs and freezing even his lungs, his breath lost for one awful, aching moment.

Fear. How ridiculous. There was absolutely nothing to fear here.

Then the door opened, and it all washed away. A man stood there holding the door open, his face broad and open and friendly. He was tall and well-built, though he had the bearing of a businessman. Akashi knew him well, though he had only met him once in passing.

"Kagami-san." Akashi bowed in greeting. It was the lowest bow he was capable of giving. This man was not just his equal—he was Akashi's superior.

He had succeeded where Akashi had failed. No...where Akashi had not even made an attempt. Kagami Hiroshi was worthy of the highest respect.

"Ah, Akashi-kun." Kagami-san bowed back and gave him a kind, warm grin. He stepped back and held the door wider, sweeping his arm out in invitation. "Please come in. Tetsu-chan is waiting for you."

"Thank you very much."

Akashi gave him the host gift he had brought, an excellent bottle of wine from his family's cellar. Kagami-san accepted it with raised eyebrows, but didn't comment. He ushered Akashi down the short hallway into the main part of the house. "Tetsu-chan is on the sofa in the main room. I'll leave you two to talk."

Akashi nodded in acknowledgment and padded over to the sofa in the corner of the room. There he stood for a moment, taking it in. Kuroko was sleeping, curled up in a loose ball and covered with a handmade blanket decorated with American folk art patterns. Akashi could not imagine a better metaphor for what had happened in this young man's life.

As if he could feel the weight of Akashi's gaze on him, Kuroko began to stir. He opened his eyes, blinking slowly, and stretched out under the blanket. So the defensive ball was only a posture he used when asleep, then. Awake, he was much more at ease.

"Hello, Akashi-kun." His voice was soft, but not fearful. He pulled himself up to recline in a corner of the sofa, dragging the blanket with him. His bedhead was astonishing. "Would you like to sit down?"

Akashi nodded and sat cross-legged in the opposite corner of the sofa, facing him. "Hello, Kagami-kun... Or perhaps you should tell me: What name do you prefer now? I admit that I am having trouble thinking of you by any name but Kuroko."

He smiled. It lit up his entire face. "I like being called Tetsu."

Akashi nodded thoughtfully. It made sense. He had obviously been so traumatized by his father that he could no longer bear to carry his name, and the only people who had called him Tetsuya had hurt him deeply. "All right, Tetsu-kun." Akashi would not presume to sully the -chan that was used so tenderly by Tetsu's new family, and he did not feel that he deserved to drop the honorific altogether. "How are you feeling?"

Tetsu blinked. "Much better, thank you. I'm sure I'll be able to return to school next week."

"Ah. Good."

An awkward silence fell. Akashi didn't understand it. He was an excellent conversationalist, just as he was excellent at everything else he put his hand to. It didn't make sense that this should be so difficult. But it was.

Tetsu lowered his eyes and rubbed his hand over the blanket in his lap. "I thought... Correct me if I'm wrong, it might have been a dream... But did you visit me while I was sick?"

"Yes, I did."

It had been a strange visit. Kise had sent him a frantic text message informing him that Kuroko was in the hospital with a bad infection and they needed to go see him before he died. Akashi had managed to calm him down (mostly by dint of sternly worded orders) and had convinced Kise to visit with him when Kuroko was home from the hospital. In the end, most of the old Teiko team had gone together.

Akashi had skipped school to make the trip (twice in one week; his father would murder him if he knew), but once he arrived, he hadn't been able to stay. Kuroko was asleep when they arrived, his face flushed, eyelids twitching in uneasy slumber. Kagami knelt by the futon, talking gently to him and wiping his face with a damp cloth. And Akashi heard Kuroko murmur in his sleep, fighting whatever feverish dreams possessed him.

They were just generic words. "No, please don't. Please stop." Others in a similar vein. They could have been responses to any number of nightmarish figments: monsters, enemies, even the darkness. But Akashi knew immediately who Kuroko was speaking to, and his heart turned to stone in his chest.

Then Kuroko's eyes slid open, clouded with fever and pain. He stared sightlessly into the distance, but his gaze seemed to fall directly on Akashi. And Akashi backed away.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd backed away. From anything.

He had made some excuse. Something about how Kuroko wouldn't be able to remember him being there, so there was no point in staying. And he had left.

But he had returned, now. He had made his determination to do anything he could to atone for past mistakes. Akashi needed to face forward and do what he came to do.

He leaned against the back of the sofa and watched Tetsu's face, so soft and peaceful, still fuzzy with recent sleep. "Did I ever tell you about my father?"

Tetsu's eyes widened marginally, though he didn't otherwise move. "No. Never."

Akashi never talked about his personal life. This must be quite a shock.

"My father never wounded me," Akashi said. "He never laid a hand on me, neither to injure nor to soothe. We didn't have that kind of relationship. It was always very distant. And yet I felt the pressure of his presence as a constant in my life. Like the weight of the atmosphere, something you don't notice because it's always there, yet it affects every aspect of your being. You think you can't survive without it, until it's suddenly lifted and you find that the sky is broader than you assumed."

Tetsu watched him without blinking. He must have learned how to stare from Kagami. He'd never been so shameless before.

Akashi's mouth twisted in something like a smile. "If you are the person in my life who has the least presence, my father has always been the person with the most. And the pressure of that presence... As I said, it was overwhelming. He always made it perfectly clear that an Akashi could not be allowed to lose. At anything. Ever. I did all I could to live up to those expectations. And I succeeded until very recently. Combine that pressure with the attitude at Teiko, where everything was permissible as long as it led to victory, and... Well, you know what happened. You were there."

"You broke," Tetsu said gently.

Akashi nodded. "I broke. Into two. They are both me. They are both Akashi. But..."

"You don't have to explain to me," Tetsu said. "I know something about hiding."

Akashi paused. Yes. Yes, that was true. He drew a breath and went on. "I don't say this as an excuse. I have no excuse for my actions. I was myself the entire time, though I was not, perhaps, an ideal version of myself. I only wanted to offer something of an explanation, because I know that understanding the reasons of things is important. I'm sorry I did not try to do this earlier. I realize now that I was afraid."

Tetsu all but melted at that. He leaned hard into the back of the sofa, his eyes large and liquid. "You have nothing to fear from me, Akashi-kun. I was not presenting my true self to the world, either. I can see that you are looking for condemnation, but you will not find it here."

Akashi barely blinked. "But I haven't finished telling you what I came to tell you."

Tetsu went still and silent, listening.

Akashi opened his mouth. Then he closed it again. He stared at the blanket, at Tetsu's fingers running repetitively over the ridge of a pattern. He couldn't remember Tetsu indulging in such self-soothing behaviors before.

He couldn't blame him, though. At all.

Akashi met Tetsu's eyes again and opened his mouth. "I knew."

Tetsu said nothing. But his fingers stilled on the blanket.

"I saw a bruise on your stomach one day when your shirt rode up. I knew it was not a normal bruise. You didn't get it from falling down or running into something. I knew something was wrong.

"I knew it wasn't anyone at school. If it had been, I would have found them out and stopped it immediately. I knew you lived alone with your father. He was the only logical suspect. I knew it was abuse. I knew you were suffering.

"And I did nothing."

Tetsu continued to watch him, silent and still. Akashi didn't know if it was a defense mechanism, if he had decided to repress his emotions to avoid showing anything, or if he was simply still processing the words. It saddened Akashi to know that Tetsu felt the need to repress himself in his presence, but it didn't surprise him. He had encouraged it, after all.

It was Akashi who broke eye contact, looking away to the floor. "As I said, I have no excuse. And the explanation is...tawdry. Small. Pitiful and filthy and ridiculous, worthy only of contempt. But it's all I have to offer, so here it is.

"It was not affecting your basketball. No matter what you were going through at home, it never showed on the court. You were yourself, the phantom man, and you were effective. You were important for victory. You were a tool, and you were not broken. So I let it be."

Akashi risked a look. Tetsu was balled up in the corner of the sofa, his knees drawn up to his chest and his blanket wrapped around his body. He looked small and scared and...and _injured._ And Akashi had done that. He had done that with his words, and with his inaction two years ago.

"I let it be," he repeated, helplessly. He had nothing else to offer. "I knew that if I did anything, it would be a disruption to the team. Everyone was already horribly on edge at the time, and of course later it all spiraled apart anyway. But I let it be. I left you alone, knowing that your father was abusing you, knowing that you were being hurt when no one saw, knowing that you would never reach out for help on your own because you weren't even aware that it was a problem that should be dealt with...

"I did all that, knowingly, as myself. As Akashi Seijurou. For the simple reason that victory on a basketball court was more precious to me than your well-being."

"Akashi-kun..." Tetsu's voice was as small as his body. Small and hurt and lost.

Akashi shook his head. "I can never atone for that. I can never... If I thought it would make a difference, I would prostrate myself before you. But I will not. I will not ask you to forgive me. No forgiveness is possible.

"I let it be. I left you alone. I was your captain, and I did not protect you in any of the ways that matter. My justifications are meaningless. You were not broken when I needed you to work, so I let this happen instead. I let your father tear you to pieces after it was out of my hands, as if that somehow left them clean. But that's not true at all. I didn't..."

"Akashi-kun."

Hands closed around his, clasped tight in his lap. Akashi closed his mouth and stared at them. Tetsu's hands were small and pale, but they were calloused with long hours of work. Akashi could feel the roughness of Tetsu's palms against the backs of his hands. Tetsu had left the shelter of his corner and his blanket and crept forward just so he could put his hands there. On his.

"Akashi-kun, you were fourteen years old."

Akashi lost his breath. "That's no excuse." He looked up. Tetsu was far too close, looking at him with those enormous eyes. His face was thinner than it should be, pale from illness and from winter living, and his eyes were much, much too big. "I have no excuse."

"You were not yourself."

"I was. I absolutely was."

"But you were not your full self. You were broken in two."

Tetsu sat back, lifting Akashi's hands between them as he went. Akashi stared at their clasped hands. Such a simple gesture, and it had blown everything apart. He had no resistance left. Nothing at all.

"Even if I had been fully myself, unbroken, it wouldn't have made a difference."

"You don't know that. If the same thing were to happen now, if we were teammates, if you were my captain and you knew I was hurt, what would you do?"

"I wouldn't stand for it."

"See?" A bright, sunny smile. As if that fixed it. As if that answered everything.

"But, Tetsu-kun..."

"Stop that." Tetsu squeezed his hands. He was astonishingly confident. Akashi didn't know how to deal with it. "You were fourteen years old, and you were broken. You will forgive me if I do not agree with you that your father never wounded you."

Akashi was silent.

As if he suddenly realized the discomfort he was causing, Tetsu gently released Akashi's hands and scooted back into his corner, drawing the blanket around himself again. "A hypothetical, Akashi-kun. What if my home life had been affecting my basketball? Would you have stood by?"

Akashi trembled. His hands clenched into fists. "I don't know. I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have had your father killed."

"Then let's be glad that didn't happen."

Akashi stared at him helplessly. "Tetsu-kun... How can you not hate me? I let this happen to you."

Tetsu shook his head. "You could not have predicted this. I know what they say. 'Akashi-kun can see the future.' I know it's not true. You saw a bruise on my stomach. That was not enough information to extrapolate into this result."

"But I did nothing."

"I would not have thanked you if you did do something." Tetsu yawned and settled down into his nook, pulling the blanket around his shoulders. "I loved my father. I still do. If you had taken me away from him... Well. I don't know what would have happened. Perhaps I would not have gone through the hell that this past month has been for me. But my life might have changed in other ways, too. And I _like_ my life, Akashi-kun. It's currently very, very good. The best it's ever been."

Akashi shook his head. "You can't truly be passing this off as fate or something like that, can you? I thought that was Midorima's character flaw. Not everything happens for a reason. Especially not terrible things inflicted on children by abusive fathers."

"No." Tetsu's face went solemn, leaning comfortably against the sofa again. "Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes bad people do bad things, and we have to deal with the consequences. But even in the darkness, light can be found. Good things can come out of bad situations."

Akashi watched him quietly for a long moment. "You really like your new family, don't you?"

"Yes." And Tetsu smiled, broad and bright and beautiful. Akashi had never seen him smile like that.

He'd been wrong. Tetsu wasn't repressing his emotions in Akashi's presence. He was displaying more than he ever had before. The Kagami name...the Kagami family...really was very good for him.

Tetsu's smile faded as he watched Akashi with a searching gaze. "What did your father do when you lost the Winter Cup?"

The question startled Akashi into a hiccuping laugh. "Nothing. He did nothing. All that time I spent forcing myself to earn his approval in every single way, and he did nothing. He just frowned and told me to win next time."

Tetsu frowned. "He didn't encourage you? He didn't tell you that you did your best and did well to make it to the finals?"

"Of course not. Losing is never acceptable for an Akashi."

Tetsu continued to frown.

Akashi sighed. "I know what it is. I know it's called emotional neglect, and I know it's a form of abuse. I am quite aware of what my father has done to me. But I don't care about him anymore. He doesn't matter. I am my own person now, and he can never change that."

He remembered very clearly what that felt like: to disappoint his father and not die. The sun still shone, the sky remained blue. The weight of the atmosphere disappeared, and he could still breathe. In fact, he breathed better.

Tetsu gave him another smile, soft and sweet. "Then we're both free."

"Yes," Akashi murmured. "I suppose we are."

Tetsu yawned again and wriggled into the sofa. "I regret to inform you that I'm going to take a nap now. I would apologize, but I have been informed several times that sleeping a lot after a serious illness is normal, and I should not apologize for normal things."

"That's all right," Akashi said gently. "Perhaps I will too."

True to his word, Tetsu fell asleep not long afterward, slumping against the sofa with his mouth slightly parted. He looked utterly defenseless in sleep. And also utterly safe.

Akashi couldn't stop the rush of fondness that swept through him, and he didn't try to. Tetsu looked so completely safe and at ease that Akashi felt it, too. It wasn't like him to relax in the house of a stranger, but he felt himself relaxing now, almost against his will. He leaned into the sofa opposite Tetsu and watched him sleep, his eyes slowly growing heavier and heavier. He drifted off to the sensation of a large hand passing over his forehead and a blanket being draped over his shoulders.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Then we're both free.](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/121539626556/haikyuusetters-haikyuusetters-then-were) by [haikyuusetters](http://haikyuusetters.tumblr.com/post/121520877878/haikyuusetters-then-were-both-free-yes)

Friday night was weird. Kagami came home to discover that that Akashi jerk was still in his house, and he was not pleased. In fact, he moved to the doorway of the main room and halted there for a bit, staring and blinking. Tetsu and Akashi were sitting on the floor next to the sofa doing a hand clapping game. One that Kagami was pretty sure he remembered seeing elementary school girls playing back before he moved to America, and never since.

So yeah, he stood there and stared. Nobody could blame him.

They were moving slowly, the movements deliberate and careful. A small smile rested strangely on Akashi's face, some emotion that Kagami didn't recognize there since he'd never seen it on Akashi before. Tetsu's face was set in concentration, his eyes slightly narrowed, but he didn't seem to be in pain. He was still too shaky, though. Too weak.

Inevitably, Tetsu fumbled, his hands getting caught between Akashi's as they closed in a clap. It was not a harsh movement, since they were going slowly, and there was no sharp sound when they clashed, only a soft slide of skin against skin. They both laughed, Akashi low and short, Tetsu higher and louder. Then Tetsu turned his head and saw Kagami standing there. His smile broadened even more.

"Taiga-nii! Welcome home."

"I'm back." Kagami took a few steps closer and looked down at them, his gaze switching between the two boys on the floor. He still didn't understand what this was.

Akashi looked up at him. The smile he had held while interacting with Tetsu remained on his face, though it changed in character. A little cooler, a little more distant. He and Kagami didn't know each other, after all. Kagami had only ever met this version of Akashi for a very short time before the game was over and they parted ways.

"Welcome home, Kagami-kun," Akashi said. "We thought that it would be good to do some dexterity exercises to help Tetsu-kun regain his motor control."

"I need a lot of work," Tetsu said. His voice was cheerful.

"Ah. I see." Kagami crouched down next to them, still leaving a healthy distance between himself and Akashi. He was much closer to Tetsu, which made their formation into a rather lopsided triangle. He tilted his head, watching the erstwhile Emperor with care. "You don't have to get home to Kyoto?"

He didn't even try to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Taiga-nii, it's the weekend," Tetsu scolded. "Akashi-kun was going to get a hotel room somewhere nearby, but of course Hiroshi-san wouldn't hear of it. He'll spend the night here so he can meet with Murasakibara-kun tomorrow. Everyone wants to get together at least for a few hours."

"Hmm. So the whole gang will be back together, huh?"

Tetsu frowned. "You don't have to sound so sad about it."

"It's all right, Tetsu-kun," Akashi said. "Your brother is allowed to be skeptical of us." He was looking at Tetsu again, and his smile was back to the one Kagami had seen when he first arrived. Kagami began to get an inkling of what that emotion was. He thought it might be...affection. He wasn't sure he believed it, though.

Tetsu narrowed his eyes.

Akashi gave him a slow nod. "We have not treated you with the kindness you deserve, and we will have to prove ourselves in his eyes. It does not trouble me to see that Kagami-kun is protective of you. Rather, I'm glad of it."

Tetsu looked to Kagami. His entire body moved in a sigh. "I can take care of myself, Taiga-nii."

Kagami blinked in astonishment at this bald-faced lie. "That is _clearly_ not true, Tetsu-chan." He reached out to poke Tetsu's stomach, only backing off slightly when squirmed. "Have you been eating? You need to eat a lot to get your strength back, you know."

Tetsu pushed back on Kagami's hand, but wasn't strong enough to force him away. His small frown moved into a scowl. "Hiroshi-san has been taking care of me while you were at school, Taiga-nii. He already ordered pizza for us to eat tonight. And then we're going to watch a movie. He said we have to do that at least once a week from now on. 'Father's Orders,' he called it."

"Pizza?" Kagami blinked and sat back, distracted from his annoyance. "Dad ordered pizza?"

Tetsu nodded, frowning in confusion. "Taiga-nii? You don't seem pleased."

Kagami bounced to his feet, all of his concerns about Akashi and Murasakibara and the entire thrice-cursed Generation of Miracles fading away for the moment. "I need to go talk to him. I gotta make sure he didn't order pizza from the bad place."

Tetsu blinked up at him. "...Bad place?"

"You didn't think I wouldn't have tried all the pizza places in delivery distance as soon as I got here, did you? Some of them are okay, but some of them..." Kagami shuddered in barely suppressed horror. "Some Japanese people have really weird ideas about what goes on pizza. I gotta talk to him and make sure. I'll be right back."

He hustled off down the hallway, followed by a shocking sound he didn't recognize even a little bit. It was Akashi's laughter, soft and kind and...fond. He really was fond. Not just of Tetsu, but of Kagami too? That made no sense at all.

Whatever. Kagami could figure that out later. Right now he was much more worried about the food.

Fortunately, Dad had picked one of the decent places, almost certainly by blind luck. He definitely should have consulted Kagami before making a decision about something as important as pizza. The delivery arrived not long afterward, and they ate pizza kneeling at the table in the main room, one "sausage", one mayonnaise and potato, and one seafood. Tetsu and Akashi ate their way steadily and contentedly through several pieces of pizza each (Tetsu eating the least of any of them, of course), while Kagami and his dad reminisced somewhat bitterly about plain old pepperoni pizza from one of the brick-oven restaurants in LA.

"I just don't understand why it's difficult," Kagami said, raising one hand toward the ceiling in a gesture of supreme exasperation. "It's bread with sauce, cheese, and meat on it. And yet you will _never_ anything that simple at any of the pizza places in Japan."

Dad patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I know it's worse for you because you spent so many of your childhood years in America," he said. "Too much of your palate was formed there, and that's my fault. I should have at least made sure you understood the joys of a good seafood pizza."

("And natto," Tetsu piped up in the background, and was soundly ignored.)

"But I feel it too!" Dad went on. "Margherita pizza! It's a simple recipe! Basil, tomato, fresh mozzarella. No! Never! It doesn't exist!"

"Dad, you've only been back in Japan for a week. You could have had American pizza earlier this month if you wanted to. _You don't know my pain."_

Tetsu smiled at them both through the entire thing, small and sweet and lovely, just enjoying it all. Akashi watched them more coolly, keeping himself at a bit of a reserve. Kagami did his best to ignore him. He and Akashi would never be friends. Kagami was willing to tolerate his presence because Tetsu appreciated his company, but that was all.

When Dad began to run out of things to say, though, Akashi sat forward a bit. "Kagami-san, if you really miss margherita pizza that badly, I might be able to point you in the right direction."

Dad turned to look at him, his eyebrows rising to his hairline. His eyes were skeptical behind his glasses, but very attentive. "Oh yes?"

Akashi gave Kagami a nod. "I'm not aware of a restaurant that sells an American-style pepperoni pizza, though." He looked back to Dad. "But margherita, that's the classic form from Italy, is it not? In recent years, Tokyo has seen the introduction of a few small restaurants devoted to an authentic Italian experience. Japanese chefs have made it their cause to perfect the classic pizza pie, just as other chefs in our great nation have devoted themselves to many other kinds of cuisine."

Dad nodded slowly. "This is good to hear. I wondered if it would ever happen."

"Oh, it has. None of the restaurants I'm referring to deliver, though, and it might be a bit of a struggle to find them."

Dad leaned forward, thoroughly intrigued. "Tell me more."

Akashi nodded smoothly and went on, outlining the names and locations of three places that sounded to Kagami like they were basically holes in the wall. Dad stared at him without blinking, his mouth even dropping open a little. Kagami could all but see the drool.

Kagami looked at Tetsu. Tetsu gave him a small smile, nose wrinkling and eyes squinting almost shut. They were sharing the secret of their amusement at their father's antics.

Kagami was still sad that no one could point him in the direction of plain old pepperoni pizza, though.

Then they watched Spirited Away. It was an excellent movie. Just as with every Studio Ghibli film he'd seen so far, Kagami was immediately and completely drawn into the world of dragons and spirits and mystical forces and flowing water and parents turned into pigs and children turned into mice. It was beautiful and it was moving. He didn't even pretend that he didn't love it.

The three teens sat on the sofa, Tetsu in the middle with Akashi and Kagami on either side, since it was the only arrangement that could be considered truly amicable. Dad sat on the floor, leaning back against the sofa between Kagami and Tetsu's legs. It had been weird, at first, but Dad had picked his spot first and would not be gainsaid, no matter how uncomfortable both Akashi and Tetsu were at taking a comfortable seat while the nominal adult was on the floor. Kagami was used to his dad acting like this, so he'd found no need to comment on it. It was just Dad being Dad.

About the time that Chihiro and her friends got on the train to visit Zeniba, Tetsu began to droop. Kagami saw him starting to nod out of the corner of his eye and immediately angled his body to encourage Tetsu to rest his head on Kagami's shoulder if he wanted to. Akashi gave him a glance at a movement, and Kagami chose not to look at him. Akashi could try to offer his shoulder if he wanted, but Kagami knew quite well that Tetsu was loyal to one shoulder only. He had leaned on it a lot in the last two weeks.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Tetsu yawned enormously and let his head thump down on Kagami's upper arm. Kagami did not radiate smugness, nor did he give Akashi a triumphant look. He wasn't that petty. This was the natural way of things, that was all. Tetsu-chan leaned on his nii-san when he was tired or overwhelmed. It was the way the world worked.

When the movie was done, Tetsu dragged his head upright and turned to look up at Kagami with a sleepy smile. "Did you like it?"

Kagami nodded. "It was great. I'm kind of...um. I'm kind of proud of Chihiro. Even though she's not real."

Kagami yawned again and let his head rest back against the sofa. "That's the power of fiction. You can be drawn into the world and empathize with characters as if they were your friends in real life."

"Yeah." Kagami sort of got why Tetsu was so fond of reading, now. A book had a lot more room to let you get to know a character than a movie did. Through his books, Tetsu must have lived many lives. Perhaps part of it was the pleasure of escape, the ability to take himself away from his difficulties for a little while. But also, it was just fun to get to know someone and watch them grow through the things that happened to them and the things they accomplished.

"Chihiro grew up a lot over the course of the movie," Akashi said softly, daring to interject himself into the conversation. "I wonder how changed she was afterward. How different her life was because she learned to rely on herself, to give to others instead of only taking."

They were silent for a moment, considering. Then Dad abruptly clapped his hands and stood up. "All right! This is starting to get a little maudlin. Why don't you boys go ahead and get ready for sleep? You don't have to go to bed yet if you're not tired, but I know Tetsu-chan needs more rest. And a bedtime snack."

"Ah. I'll take care of that." Kagami extricated himself from the sofa, making sure that Tetsu wouldn't fall over with the sudden loss of support, then moved to the kitchen. There were still some convenience store onigiri in the fridge, as well as mochi he could serve if anyone wanted a dessert.

A few minutes later, Tetsu wandered into the kitchen, dressed in his sleep clothes, already looking heavy-lidded and about to tilt over. Kagami was finishing up the matcha and arranging treats on a tray, and he looked up with a frown when he saw Tetsu waver on his feet. Tetsu gave him a smile meant to be reassuring and caught himself with both hands on the counter, leaning over to watch Kagami finish his preparations.

"Why didn't you wait on the sofa, idiot?" Kagami asked. "I was just about to bring out the tray."

"I like watching Taiga-nii in the kitchen," Tetsu said. His voice was sleepy, too, and he didn't seem to have full control over his words. "It's like watching Aomine-kun on the basketball court."

"What, irritating and infuriating as his ego expands to fill the entire building?"

Tetsu shook his head and reached out to snag a red bean mochi. Kagami let him do it, though he frowned at the conspicuous empty spot now evident in the plate he'd arranged the mochi on. "Graceful and confident, very skilled and smoothed. Like a dance. It's a pleasure to watch someone enjoy their work, even if it's something as ordinary as a household chore. Especially then, I think. I often have that feeling after watching a Ghibli film. They make hard work seem beautiful and honorable."

"Yeah." Kagami leaned his elbows on the counter and watched Tetsu work his way through more mochi. Again he had that little burst of pleasure in his chest of watching someone enjoy something he had prepared. What had Akashi said? Giving to others instead of only taking?

No one was better at that than Tetsu, really. The guy had basically devoted himself to supporting others. It was only right that someone else supported him when he needed it, and Kagami was immensely pleased that circumstances had conspired to allow him to be that person.

He filled a cup with matcha tea and set it near Tetsu's hand, and Tetsu picked it up and drank it without a pause. It truly was the most natural thing in the world.

"And did you notice?" Tetsu asked, blinking at Kagami with his huge, sleepy eyes. "In the movie? It really struck me."

Kagami tilted his head. "I'm not sure what you're talking about right now. What did you notice?"

Tetsu smiled, slow and wide and brilliantly happy. "The power of names. Having a true name is very important. A name that belongs to you, that is remembered and given. It is the heart of power and magic."

"Ah. Yeah, I did notice that. It was pretty cool."

Tetsu drank his tea. "I really like my name, Taiga-nii."

Kagami swallowed. He couldn't speak for a moment. Then, "Yeah," he whispered. "I know you do. I like it, too."

Tetsu smiled.


	44. Chapter 44

Murasakibara Atsushi entered the Kagami apartment like a lazy thunderstorm: slowly at first, then suddenly bursting into light and noise.

At first, Himuro led the way, looking around and taking it all in. It was his first time visiting Taiga's home in Japan, and he wanted to treat the visit with the care and attention it deserved. He still regretted the way he had acted toward Taiga, and he hoped that this would be a chance to reclaim the lost time.

Atsushi was right behind him, moving sluggishly. He had tried to sleep on the train, after getting little rest the night before, but he hadn't had much success. Even his favorite snacks had done little to relieve his brooding discontent. And Himuro had tried a lot of his favorite snacks.

Taiga tried to offer some words of greeting, a gracious host as ever, and Himuro did his best to respond. All at once, Atsushi came alive. It was if he had noticed where they were for the first time. He began shoving at Himuro's back to get him to move out of the way.

"Where's Kuro-chin?" he demanded, his voice low and growling. "I want to see him. Muro-chin, stop talking. I don't care about anything you're saying. Kaga-chin, where is Kuro-chin?"

Taiga narrowed his eyes, looking Atsushi up and down and assessing him for the giant toddler he sometimes was. "He's taking a nap right now. He'll come out and greet you later. He's still recovering from...well, from everything. He needs his rest."

Atsushi nodded, but it was not in agreement. He slid out of his shoes and jacket with a grace that belied his enormous figure and pushed past Himuro deeper into the apartment. Himuro made an attempt at snagging his sleeve to slow him down, but Atsushi paid no more attention to him than if he'd been a gnat.

"Atsushi," Himuro rapped out, exasperated. "Be respectful. Kuroko needs his rest. Leave him alone."

"Don't wanna," Atsushi said, petulant as a child. He shrugged his shoulder, and Himuro's hand fell off his sleeve. "I don't want to wait anymore. I waited already. I'm done with waiting."

And he was off down the hallway, checking each door with one sharp glance each before moving on. Himuro chased after him, hoping he might at least be able to keep Atsushi from breaking anything. 

"For pity's sake," Taiga spat out as he hurried in their wake. "Dad! Stop him!"

Kagami-san emerged from the end of the hallway, blinking in astonishment behind his glasses, but it was already too late. Atsushi had found Kuroko's room and shouldered his way inside, all but taking the door off its hinges. Himuro halted in the doorway behind him, his heart in his throat, and Taiga crowded up on his shoulder. "Let me in," he said sharply, but Himuro planted his feet and did not move. He was too busy staring at the scene inside.

Atsushi had paused just inside the room for a bare second, then completed his journey to Kuroko's bed in two enormous strides. Now he was kneeling at the head of the bed, his hands on his knees, his head bowed as he stared at Kuroko's sleeping face. For the first time since he had found those photos, Atsushi was still.

He wasn't fidgeting, wasn't vibrating, wasn't clenching and unclenching his fists in constant motion. He knelt there, staring, and his face was a story Himuro had never wanted to learn. It was anguish and pain and regret and anger, so much anger. Anger at Kuroko, anger at himself, anger at everyone who had kept his secret from him. Atsushi in a rage was a terrifying spectacle, and that was especially true when he was _still_ like this. It was like watching a thunderhead building and building before the inevitable flurry of lightning strikes.

"Kuro-chin," Atsushi said, and his voice was wracked with pain. "Kuro-chin. Why didn't you tell me? I would have crushed him for you. I would have crushed anyone who hurt you. Why did you keep it a secret? It was such a bad secret, Kuro-chin. Why did you do that?"

Kuroko began to stir, his eyes struggling to open. Himuro caught his breath and held it, suddenly wishing he hadn't chased after Atsushi at all. He should have stayed behind at the front door rather than intrude on this incredibly intimate moment. But now he was here, and he couldn't leave without drawing attention to himself. So he stood there, aching. At his shoulder, Taiga was quiet too.

Kuroko's eyes finally opened all the way, and he stared up at Atsushi without blinking. His expression was smooth and serene, almost like usual, but Himuro couldn't help noticing that something was different now. Kuroko's face was thinner than Himuro remembered from the Winter Cup, and paler, too. It was obvious that he had been through terrible things since that moment of triumph. Things that had wounded and injured and changed him, but he had made it through. He had survived; he'd come out the other side.

Who was he now? He seemed like a completely different person. Himuro suddenly understood why he had chosen to change his name. Kuroko was no longer Kuroko. He was someone else.

Kagami Tetsuya. Tetsu-chan. No longer alone, no longer a shadow in the background that no one could see. He was beloved now, immensely cherished. As he deserved. As he fully deserved.

Himuro's hand found its way to Taiga's shoulder and clenched in the fabric there, holding so tight that his fist trembled. He couldn't believe that he'd ever told his little brother to let this go. To give Kuroko—Tetsu—over to the care of strangers. He'd been speaking in ignorance, but still. He should have known better.

After a moment to take in the situation, Tetsu smiled. It was sweet and wide and uncomplicated, and Atsushi caught his breath in startlement. Had he never seen Tetsu smile like that before?

"Hello, Murasakibara-kun. It's good to see you." Tetsu pushed away the light blanket that covered him and levered himself up into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He moved slowly and carefully, and it was clear that he was still weak from his illness. But he seemed confident and self-assured, even so, unbothered by Atsushi's nearness and intensity.

"Kuro-chin." Atsushi straightened. The anger in his face grew, pushing aside some of the pain, but not replacing it. "Why didn't you tell me? Why am I the last to know?"

Tetsu shrank, sorrow pouring in. He heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry, Murasakibara-kun. I didn't mean to cause you pain with this. That was the last thing I ever wanted."

Atsushi shook his head. "I don't care about that. I just want to know why. Did you think I would dismiss you? Did you think that just because we disagreed about basketball, we weren't friends anymore? That I wouldn't care?" His hands clenched into fists on top of his thighs, and a shudder of pain and rage passed through his entire frame. His voice went low and fierce again. "Because that's not true, Kuro-chin. It's not true at all."

Tetsu's shoulders slumped. He looked down at his hands, twisting together in his lap. "I'm sorry," he said again, lower than before. "I didn't tell anyone because... Because I was afraid. Because I thought the way my father treated me was normal. Because I was ashamed. Because I thought I deserved it. Because I felt alone. Because I thought I was responsible to fix the problems in my family, and no one else could, so it had to be me."

He looked up at Atsushi. "There were many reasons I didn't tell anyone. Not in middle school, when all he did was hit me once in a while, and not a month ago, when he started beating me with a strap. I think the biggest reason was... It just didn't occur to me that I _could_ ask for help."

"Kuro-chin..."

Tetsu shook his head. "I don't know if the way things were at Teiko affected that, if I came to believe that I couldn't ask for assistance with my home life because I could never ask for assistance with any of my other problems, either. It might have. I might have taught myself to believe that no one would ever help me because I spent so much time struggling alone. Or it might have been the other way around. Maybe I never asked for help with my basketball because I never asked for help with anything else, either. I was used to being ignored and passed over. I was used to being in the shadows."

"But we were a team," Atsushi said, plaintive and small. "We were friends. I know we weren't a very good team, not at the end, but still... Wasn't that enough?"

Tetsu trembled, staring down at his hands. "No," he murmured after a long moment. "I guess it wasn't. I'm sorry, Murasakibara-kun."

A terrible silence fell. Tetsu continued to look down, unable to meet Atsushi's eyes. Atsushi stared at him, still and silent. The rage had bled away from his posture and expression, leaving only pain and overwhelming grief.

"Kuro-chin." It was almost a whisper. "Please let me see."

Tetsu raised his head, eyes wide. Atsushi stared back at him. After a wavering moment, Tetsu nodded. He turned his back to Atsushi and lifted his shirt, rolling it up over his shoulders.

Himuro's eyes burned. The photos were still seared in his mind, and he could see how much better the marks were now. Tetsu had done a lot of healing. But they were still visible, fading red lines criss-crossing his back, no longer inflamed and painful-looking but still there. Still obvious. Still horrible in every way.

Atsushi reached out one hand, hovering over Tetsu's back but not touching down. With his fingers spread, he could almost span Tetsu's entire back with one huge hand. His fingers trembled lightly. It was strange to see. 

"Does it hurt you?" Atsushi asked.

Tetsu shook his head. His shoulders hunched up around his ears. "Not anymore. They're almost...scars."

"I see." After another small moment of hesitation, Atsushi's hand touched down. He rested it gently on Tetsu's back, somehow managing to cover up a good portion of those awful marks. Himuro had never really considered Atsushi to be a gentle person. Even so, he was not surprised to see how gentle he was now.

Tetsu's breath halted in his throat at the moment of the touch, but then he breathed out, slow and careful. His shoulders fell down from their hunch, and he leaned forward with his hands loose in his lap. The relief was so immense that he swayed where he sat.

After several long moments to take it in, to be certain, to assure himself that Tetsu was truly healing, Atsushi lifted his hand from his back just as gently as he'd touched it down. Tetsu straightened, pulled his shirt back down, and turned to face Atsushi again. Tears stood in his eyes.

In Atsushi's, too. 

"I'm sor..." Tetsu started.

"Stop that." Atsushi got up on his knees and leaned forward, dragging Tetsu into the closest, tightest bear hug Himuro had ever seen. "Don't apologize anymore. I don't want to hear it again. It hurts my ears."

Tetsu laughed, a little moist, a little choked, and put his arms around Atsushi in return. "All right," he said. "I won't."

"You have to be okay," Atsushi muttered, squeezing him even tighter. "I hate it when you aren't okay."

"I'm okay, Murasakibara-kun. At least, I'm getting there. I'll be okay soon."

"Good. And if someone ever hurts you again, you have to tell me who it was so I can crush them."

Tetsu laughed again, bright and muffled. "I will."

The hug went on. After a moment, Kagami-san put one hand on Himuro's shoulder and one on Taiga's and pulled them away down the hallway. "Leave them be," he murmured. "They'll be all right."

 _Yes,_ Himuro thought, and the relief was so strong that he had to stop walking and put his hand on the wall to hold himself up. _They will be._


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now you only dream in peaceful blue  
> And the morning doesn't even scare you anymore  
> You are a phoenix with your feathers still a little wet  
> Baby, the ashes just look pretty on your eyes
> 
> New Playlist: [It's a New Dawn](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/122095790641/second-playlist-for-come-morning-light-by)

"I want to go to the convenience store."

Murasakibara's voice was petulant. Tetsu didn't look up from his book, nor did he move from his position, sitting on the floor with his back leaning against Mura's side as they rested on the floor in front of the sofa. Akashi sat cross-legged across from Mura. The two were playing card games while Tetsu worked on finishing his novel.

Tetsu was grateful that Akashi had decided to spend the day. He had left for a few hours in the morning, which happened to be when Murasakibara and Himuro arrived, but he'd come back not long after Himuro and Taiga left for weekend practice at Seirin. Tetsu was grateful for the distraction Akashi provided for Mura.

Murasakibara was...clingy. There was no other word for it. After their conversation when Murasakibara woke Tetsu up from his nap, Murasakibara had hugged Tetsu for a very long time. At first it had been good, a reconnection long overdue. It seemed like it had been a very long time since they were middle school friends who hung out after practice and traded snacks back and forth (Tetsu had had a particular talent for spotting and procuring varieties Murasakibara somehow missed in his endless search for food). And yes, perhaps there was a part of Tetsu that had believed that they weren't friends anymore after they fell out over their fundamental disagreements about basketball and the worth of hard work.

Murasakibara seemed determined to destroy that idea forever. The hug must have been necessary for him, too, to reassure himself that Tetsu was all right, that he was healing, that he still valued their friendship. But it just went on for such...such a long time.

Tetsu put up with the discomfort for as long as he could, but he finally started to shift a bit in Murasakibara's grasp. "Murasakibara-kun... I need air..."

Murasakibara's arms only tightened at first, but when Tetsu literally gasped for breath and started to struggle in earnest, he reluctantly let go and leaned back from the bed. His knee still touched Tetsu's foot, though, as if he couldn't bear to relinquish all contact. "Kuro-chin is a good size for hugging," he muttered. "You're like a little plushy basketball player."

Tetsu huffed out a breath and smiled at him. "I'm sorry to take that away, then. But I think maybe I should get out of bed."

"Are you hungry?" Murasakibara asked. That was always the first question on his lips whenever anyone seemed to be in the slightest distress.

It happened to be correct this time. Tetsu nodded. "Let's go to the kitchen. I'm sure Taiga-nii has left out some snacks for me."

Murasakibara frowned. He pressed a heavy hand on Tetsu’s shoulder, preventing him from getting up. "You call him nii-san?"

Tetsu raised his eyebrows. "Well, he is my nii-san, you know. We're adopted brothers now, and he's older than me."

"This is weird." Murasakibara pouted. "I don't want to call you Kaga-chin. There's already a Kaga-chin. You are Kuro-chin. You should stay Kuro-chin."

"I can't stay Kuroko anymore," Tetsu said gently. "It's not my name now. And I don't want it to be. I'm happy to be Kagami Tetsuya. I'm very, very happy, Murasakibara-kun. I wish I could make you understand just how much better I feel now that I'm part of this family."

Murasakibara blew out a hefty sigh, his lips pursing. "I can see it," he grumbled. "You smile and laugh a lot now. More than you ever used to before. I know you're happy. Maybe it will make me happy, too. I hope it will. But right now it's still weird."

"I understand that. It's a big change. It will take some getting used to. And you don't have to call me Kaga-chin if you don't want to. You could call me Tetsu. Or you can keep calling me Kuro-chin if that makes you more comfortable. I know you don't mean any harm."

Murasakibara nodded. "I'll...try..." he said slowly. "But hey, Kuro-chin, if you needed to be adopted, you should have told me. You could have been in my family. I have three older brothers and an older sister, you know. You would have had a bunch of nii-sans and a nee-san. And we would all think that you are very, very cute, and we would all make sure that you always had plenty to eat."

Tetsu grinned at the image. "I'm sure that's true. Are all of your siblings as tall as you are, Murasakibara-kun?"

"No, I'm the tallest. But only by a handful of centimeters."

Tetsu giggled. "Would I really be a little brother in that family? Or would I be more like a little pet?"

Murasakibara pretended to take this seriously, tilting his head in thought. “I don’t know, really. Either way, though, you would be our precious Tetsu-chin, and we would take very good care of you and give you lots of pats and hugs.”

To demonstrate this, he reached out and patted Tetsu’s head, his hand heavy and lingering, fingers digging into his hair. Tetsu winced and tried to smile. “Are you envious of Taiga-nii, Murasakibara-kun?”

Murasakibara nodded solemnly. “I would be a good nii-san. I’ve always been the baby in my family. It would be fun to have a little brother.”

“Then you can call me Tetsu-chin if you want to, and I’ll call you Mura-nii.”

Murasakibara pretended to fight this, but his eyes lit up immediately. “I...guess I’ll get used to it,” he mumbled sourly.

Tetsu grinned. “Thank you, Mura-nii. Let’s go get a snack now, all right?”

Finally mollified, Mura let him stand up and lead the way to the hallway and the kitchen. He kept a hand on Tetsu’s shoulder for the entirety of the trip, though. It seemed that he couldn’t bear yet to lose contact with him. So Tetsu put up with it, even though the constant touching was beginning to wear on him. Mura didn’t have any of Taiga’s sense for when Tetsu was getting overwhelmed and needed some space.

As expected, they found Taiga and Himuro and Hiroshi-san in the kitchen, preparing lunch. Taiga had put out some onigiri and cut vegetables for Tetsu to snack on, and he and Mura both availed themselves of the treats. Tetsu wondered absently if Himuro was going to tell him to call him Aniki now, since they were sort of brothers, connected by brotherhood with Taiga. Tetsu did seem to be acquiring new family members at an astonishing rate. It seemed a lifetime ago that he had told Kiyoshi that he didn’t have an older brother, but if he did, he’d want him to be like Kiyoshi.

Maybe he should start calling Kiyoshi -nii instead of -senpai. Tetsu didn’t want his Seirin family to feel left out.

Himuro didn’t say anything before he and Taiga left for practice after lunch, though. And Tetsu found himself completely occupied with handling Mura-nii. He just...wouldn’t let go of Tetsu. Ever. Hiroshi-san occasionally tried to intervene, but Mura gave him glowering looks, heavy and menacing, and Hiroshi-san waved his hands in amusement and backed away. He gave Tetsu a wink and nod to advise him that this was his problem and he had to deal with it. Tetsu sighed morosely and nodded in agreement.

It wasn’t really a _bad_ problem, after all. It was just Mura being...clingy. But it was stifling and annoying, and Tetsu was beginning to feel pressured by all the attention. Hiroshi-san had been right—he wasn’t used to it, and it felt distinctly unpleasant. Tetsu should get used to it now, before he returned to school and had to deal with attention from people who were not as friendly and harmless as his former teammate and brand-new nii-san.

Still, it was with great relief that Tetsu greeted Akashi’s return. Akashi's eyes immediately divined Mura's attachment and Tetsu's discomfort. Instead of making the situation worse with a high-handed order, though, he mildly suggested that he and Murasakibara go to the main room to divert themselves with games. Tetsu slumped with relief and said that he was going to fetch his book while they were setting up, and when he returned, he pre-emptively placed himself at Mura's side and leaned comfortably against him to give him the contact he was craving. And the three of them passed the time quite pleasantly together.

Until now.

"I need snacks," Mura said, dropping his cards on the floor. "I'm out of potato chips. I want to go to the convenience store."

Tetsu shifted uneasily. "You can go to the convenience store if you want. There's one nearby. Hiroshi-san can give you directions."

"Don't want to ask Kagami-san. You come with me and show me the way, Kuro-chin."

Tetsu went still. Something in him instantly rejected the idea of stepping foot outside that door. No...not just "something." He knew right away why he didn't want to go. But he didn't want to say it. It was...unworthy. Embarrassing.

His face began to heat up. He could feel Akashi's eyes on him, watching carefully from across the way. Tetsu shrank into himself. Slowly, he placed a bookmark in his novel, closed it, and set it aside. His knees had been raised, providing a platform for his book, and he curled his fingers around them and stared at his hands. He willed them not to tremble.

"I don't...want to go..." he said slowly. "I'm not hungry."

It was not the reason.

Mura made a disgusted noise. "You don't have to be hungry to get _snacks."_

"Nor do you need to be hungry to take a walk with your friend," Akashi said softly. "Are you feeling all right, Tetsu-kun? Still getting dizzy when you walk?"

Tetsu wavered. It was an easy out. It was kind of Akashi to offer it.

But it was not the truth.

He shook his head. "No, I'm feeling much stronger. I just...don't want to go."

The others were quiet. Then Mura spasmed in irritation, almost dislodging Tetsu from his side. He turned toward Tetsu, big hands on his shoulders to hold him up, and dragged him around so he could look in his face. "What is this, Tetsu-chin? Why don't you want to go? What's happening? It's not like you to be so..."

He stopped. Blinked. Perhaps he could see the sudden terror in Tetsu's face. His grip on Tetsu's shoulders softened, and his face fell. "Why are you scared?" he murmured. "Are you scared of me?"

Tetsu shook his head, his eyes widening. "No, no, I could never be afraid of Mura-nii..." But he couldn't help the way he was shaking. All over. Convulsively.

It was... Tetsu shivered, trying to figure out what had happened. His heart was pounding so hard that his vision wavered with each beat. His mind had gone back, back to the last time he left this apartment on his own, and when Mura grabbed him, he'd felt...

He'd felt another hand on him. A large hand, gripping tight, pulling hard, dragging him away from safety and back to the place of fear. He had resisted, but he hadn't been able to stop it, too weak, too beaten down, his fingers sliding away where he tried to grip the table, the back of the booth...

"Murasakibara, let go of him." Akashi's voice. Close but not too close. Low and soothing.

The hands on his shoulders vanished, and suddenly Tetsu could breathe again. He gulped for air. But he was still shaking, and he still didn't understand what was happening to him.

"Tetsu-kun." Akashi's face replaced Mura's in his vision. "You're panicking. Take a deep breath."

He tried. It was hard. _Please don't touch me._ He would shatter like brittle ice.

Akashi seemed to hear him. He didn't reach out, just leaned in carefully where Tetsu could see him. "Another breath, Tetsu-kun. That's it. You can do it."

He breathed. He breathed. He was fine. He was fine. Why was he so scared?

"You're having a flashback," Akashi told him gently. "It's all right. Just ride through it."

Another breath. His chest ached and burned. "Akashi-kun..." His voice was a wisp. "I don't want to go."

"I know," Akashi said. "It's all right. You don't have to."

"The last time I left this place... Something bad happened."

"I know. Your brother told me. Did you know we talked last night after you went to bed? He was still suspicious of me, and I asked him to tell me what happened to you. I wanted to know...exactly how much you suffered because I did nothing two years ago. So he told me. Not every detail, but enough. I think he wanted to hurt me. And he did. But I know now. I know what you've been through. I understand. You have every right to be frightened."

"He grabbed me... He was going to take me away..."

"But Hiroshi-san didn't let him. Your father didn't let him."

Tetsu shook his head. That was true. That was true. His throat began to open up a little more.

"I don't want to go outside."

"I know. Your mind might tell you that you're safe, but your heart is unsure. The person who hurt you is still out there. He isn't in jail. He walks free on the streets, just like you do. The odds of him finding this place might be very low, but they aren't zero. Your fear is reasonable. You aren't being foolish."

"But...I feel... I feel foolish... I feel weak and small and..."

Akashi shook his head, slow and measured. "You are none of those things. You are very strong, Tetsu-kun. You are iron, like your name. You will come through this. You will be tempered steel. You will be a sword. But the fire is hot, and it burns."

Another breath. "It hurts," he whispered.

"I know. And I regret that very much. Please do your best to breathe."

He did. Slowly, slowly, it became easier. His heartbeat no longer pounded in his ears. The ache in his chest and the burn in his throat began to fade.

"Tetsu-kun, would you like me to tell you what I was doing this morning?" Akashi's voice was still low and soothing. Tetsu wished he could grab it with his hands.

He settled for wrapping his arms around his stomach and nodding as strongly as he could.

"I went to meet with an officer in my father's corporation here in Tokyo. My father's corporation is very large, with many smaller companies under its umbrella. The officer I spoke to is in the Human Resources Department, one who determines where to allocate resources. Which branches of the company need which employees, that sort of thing."

Tetsu's eyes widened.

Akashi smiled. "We discussed the fate of a certain employee. We determined that his services were no longer required in Tokyo, and he would be more useful in a different branch. A very, very far away branch. Russia, we decided."

"Oh." Tetsu's voice was so small that he could barely hear it.

"He'll never trouble you again, Tetsu-kun," Akashi said. "I won't allow it. None of us will."

"But...he's still in Tokyo..."

"Today? Yes. He's still here today. But it's a very urgent transfer. He is required to be in Russia by Monday. No doubt today he is very busy packing up his belongings. If there's anything you want from there, we can send Aomine. I'm sure he'll be happy to help. Tomorrow, that man will be on a plane. And Tokyo will not require his services again."

"So you and the officer in your corporation have determined."

Akashi nodded. "So we have determined."

Bit by bit, the fear bled away. Tetsu drooped into himself, suddenly exhausted. Tears pricked his eyes. Tears of gratitude, of shame. Of happiness and relief.

"Better now?" Mura crowded in again, pushing Akashi out of the way. His voice was tight with anxiety. "Are you okay, Kuro-chin? Tetsu-chin? Little brother? You're not afraid anymore?"

Tetsu nodded, and Mura grabbed him into another hug. This time, it didn't feel too close and overwhelming. It felt warm and sheltering, and Tetsu welcomed it.

"He's still in Tokyo today only," Akashi said. "But if you'd like to go outside, we'll go with you. Will you trust us to protect you? We can all go together. We'll ask Hiroshi-san to come too, if you want."

The question was voiced lightly, casually. Akashi wasn't pushing him either way. Just offering the option.

Mura, though, was not as gentle. "Snacks," he grumbled in Tetsu's ear, squeezing him fiercely.

Tetsu huffed out a laugh against his shoulder. "All right," he said, and he wasn't afraid at all. "Let's go to the convenience store."


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [You have to be okay. I hate it when you aren't okay.](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/122303499541/haikyuusetters-you-have-to-be-okay-i-hate-it) by [haikyuusetters](http://haikyuusetters.tumblr.com/post/122290362816/you-have-to-be-okay-i-hate-it-when-you-arent)

The hardest part about eavesdropping was having to pretend that he didn't know anything when the people he'd been eavesdropping on came and talked to him later. This was not something Hiroshi had expected to learn at the ripe age of thirty-nine, but life was full of surprises. And he absolutely did not look guilty when Akashi sought him out in the office, because he hadn't been listening in the hall, nope, of course not, he was far too mature to do something so childish.

"Kagami-san, am I interrupting?" Akashi stopped in the doorway, precisely polite as always. He was even polite enough not to notice that Hiroshi wasn't working on anything, his phone nowhere in evidence, no documents on his desk, computer screensaver flashing photos across the screen.

"Not at all," Hiroshi said. "What can I do for you, Akashi-kun?"

"We were wondering if you'd like to go for a walk with us down to the convenience store." Akashi hesitated, his eyes falling, and shook his head. Not at Hiroshi, but at himself. Then he looked up again and met Hiroshi's eyes again. "No, that's not quite true. Murasakibara wants to go to the convenience store, but it's Tetsu-kun and I who want you to come along. Tetsu-kun is nervous about leaving the apartment, and your presence will be soothing for him."

"Ah." Hiroshi felt himself softening toward this boy even more. Akashi had done him the honor of giving him more than a polite untruth. It must have taken great courage for such a reserved and careful person to be that vulnerable. If it were for himself, Hiroshi had the feeling Akashi would never do something like that. But for Tetsu, he would make sacrifices. "Of course, Akashi-kun. I would be delighted to come."

He stood up from the desk and moved toward the door. To his surprise, Akashi did not step out of the way immediately. He looked up at Hiroshi, almost as if he was taking his measure.

If so, Hiroshi must have passed the test. Akashi opened his mouth again. "I think you should know that Tetsu-kun just had a panic attack."

Hiroshi nodded slowly. He already knew, since he'd been standing in the hall listening, but he greatly appreciated Akashi telling him. "Do you know why?"

"Murasakibara grabbed his arm, and he suffered a flashback."

Hiroshi stiffened. He knew exactly what Tetsu had flashed back to. His hands clenched into involuntary fists. He had known that Tetsu was having a bad moment from what he'd heard in the hall, but he hadn't known the cause.

That bastard... _And I never even got a chance to punch him..._

Akashi tilted his head, watching him. "You older son told me that you stepped in when Tetsu-kun's father was trying to force him to leave the restaurant where they met to talk. Is that the moment Tetsu-kun remembered?"

Hiroshi nodded, his throat too tight for speech. Akashi must be very observant and intelligent to have figured that out just from Tetsu panicking when Murasakibara gripped his arm. If only Hiroshi had been a few seconds faster that day...

But Akashi only nodded back in understanding, unbothered by Hiroshi's failure to prevent that moment from happening. Indeed, Akashi might have relaxed. "That explains it, then."

Hiroshi couldn't help himself. "Explains what?"

"How important you are. You rescued him. In the moment when Tetsu-kun felt the most fear that he'd ever felt in his life, the terror of being dragged against his will back to the horrors he had thought he'd escaped, now rising up around him in all their hideousness... You arrived at precisely the right time. You tore through the awfulness and shredded it like paper. You proved once and for all that Tetsu had nothing to be afraid of, because you were stronger than his fear. The good father overcame the bad father and took his place for all eternity."

Hiroshi was incapable of speech.

Akashi closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in it. "No wonder he wanted to be a Kagami. No wonder he wanted to belong to you forever. Who could blame him? Anyone would, after something like that."

"Akashi-kun..."

Akashi opened his eyes and gave him a smile. "Do you know what truly conquered the panic attack? What gave him the strength to calm down, find his center, take deep breaths again?"

Hiroshi shook his head.

"It was easy. I mentioned your name."

Hiroshi caught his breath. He had crept away before that moment, aware that Akashi had the situation in hand and he would only complicate matters if he tried to interfere. It had itched at him to do that when he would have preferred the ability to leap into the situation and solve all of Tetsu's problems with a wave of his hand, but he had trusted Akashi to care for his son. And now...

"Why...why are you telling me all this?"

Akashi blinked. "I wanted you to understand why Tetsu-kun might seem a bit shaky and unlike himself for the next little while. Why he might stand closer to you than usual, look to you more often. And I wanted you to know that your presence is enough. He will feel safe because you are with him."

Hiroshi nodded.

Akashi looked away for a moment, then back to him. "I know this has all happened very fast, not only for Tetsu-kun, but for you, too. Two weeks ago, you had one son and a high-level career in America, and you had not the slightest inkling that any of that would change. Now you have two children, one of whom will face enormous difficulties for a time, perhaps for the rest of his life. It is impossible to step into that sort of situation without tremors, without misgivings about your ability to deal with it. So I wanted you to know... You are enough. You are more than enough. One look to Tetsu-kun's face at the mention of your name is proof of that."

Hiroshi pulled in a breath. He had not allowed himself to think about that. About his failures, about the way he had lost... All he had lost. It would have terrified him too much, so he had not allowed himself to doubt. He was the only person who could do this, who could protect a battered child from the monster who had tortured him, so he had done it. There had been no other choice. Not that he would have sought an escape, if it had been available, but the lack of anyone else had made it easier to forge ahead.

Now that the pace had slowed and Tetsu was on the mend, his friends all gathering around him, Hiroshi's doubts could have had the space to rise inside him. He had kept himself busy filing paperwork, making phone calls, doing all he could turn this parental leave into a permanent move. And whenever he was with his boys, when he sat with them and felt their warmth and saw their smiles and heard their laughter, every incipient fear faded away. 

But when he was alone, he was in danger of falling into the trap of too much self-reflection. Hiroshi had enough regrets to fill an ocean, more than enough to drown in.

And now this.

He stared at Akashi in undisguised wonder. "You... How did you know that I needed to hear that?"

It was Akashi's turn to falter. He leaned against the doorway one shoulder, his eyes wide. "I...guessed."

"You..." Hiroshi shook his head. "That was amazing. You're sixteen years old. How are you so intelligent, so well-spoken? So wise and kind? No wonder you're the captain of your team, even as a first-year. There could have been no better choice."

A faint wash of color began to rise in Akashi's cheeks. "That's...that's not why..."

"I know Taiga has not been very welcoming to you. I would apologize for him, but you've been handling it very graciously, so I thought it better to let you boys work it out between yourselves. Still, you should know that while I love Taiga dearly and he is the best son and brother any family could ask for, he is not without faults. He holds grudges and is quick to anger, slow to forgive. No matter what he says and how he may act, you are welcome in this household. Now, and any time you would like to return."

Akashi looked stunned. "But... But I deserved..."

Hiroshi shook his head, hard. "I know there is history between you and my boys. Taiga has discussed almost everything with me, so I know he has his reasons to be suspicious of you. I won't even say that he's wrong. But Tetsu-chan has forgiven you, and I only see the boy before me. So I'll say again: You are welcome here. Visit whenever you like, for as long as you like. The door will always be open to you."

"I..." Akashi's chest heaved. "Thank you. I...I gratefully accept."

Hiroshi thought he was done, then. But the words burst out of him like an explosion from a grenade. "What kind of idiot father doesn't tell you that he's proud of you ten times a day? When you do things like this, when you talk someone down from a panic attack and then have the insight to reassure a man twice your age? Is his brain made of porridge? I don't understand it!"

They both went very, very still. Hiroshi felt his face turn red as a tomato, hot enough to rival any of Taiga's worst blushes. He had just admitted that he'd been eavesdropping in the hall. Not just today, but yesterday, too. 

Wow, he was just succeeding at being an adult all over the place, today.

After a moment of shocked silence, Akashi's face opened into a smile. And he laughed, surprised and happy. "Kagami-san, you..."

Hiroshi covered his face with his hands and groaned. "Ugh. Just call me Hiroshi-san the way Tetsu-chan does. I embarrassed myself in front you, and you are precious to my son. We're hardly strangers." 

And Akashi needed an adult in his life who wasn't an idiot and wasn't emotionally abusive and would tell him that he was proud of him. Hiroshi couldn't adopt another kid, but he could damn well invite this one into his home and tell him he was amazing if he wanted to. Tetsu liked calling Hiroshi by his given name, so Akashi could go along with it, too.

Akashi was quiet. After a long moment, Hiroshi lowered his hands and looked at him again. The boy was staring away down the hall, and his cheeks were flaming almost as red as Hiroshi's.

So he understood what it meant.

"Akashi-kun?"

Akashi trembled where he stood. "...Sei-chan."

It was a whisper.

Hiroshi strained to hear him. He took a step closer. "Can you repeat that, please?"

Akashi cut him a glance out of the corner of his eye, then stared down the hall again. "Sei-chan. If that's where this is going, we might as well be thorough about it."

Hiroshi laughed. "Sei-chan." He ruffled his hair, gently, making sure that the boy had plenty of time to see his hand coming and prepare himself for the touch. Hiroshi hadn't forgotten the way Akashi had flinched in his sleep when he brushed his forehead yesterday.

Sei endured the touch. He might have even leaned into Hiroshi's hand, a little. Then he pulled himself away and started walking down the hall, still unable to look in Hiroshi's face. "Tetsu-kun..." He cleared his throat. "Tetsu-kun and Murasakibara probably think we've died, this took so long."

Hiroshi laughed and followed him down the hall. "Then we should go and reassure them. And we should hurry to the convenience store so your giant friend doesn't starve to death."

"Hiroshi-san is wise," Sei murmured.

Hiroshi smiled wide enough to crack his face.

Sei was right about Tetsu. He was obviously pale and shaken, but still determined to go outside. He almost halted on the threshold, but Murasakibara, right behind, shoved him through with a grumble and a whine, and once Tetsu was in the hallway he did a little better. Hiroshi was careful to stay close, though. 

On the street, walking to the store, Tetsu drifted closer and closer to Hiroshi, his steps gradually slowing. His shoulders were hunched, his hands jammed into his pockets, and his eyes kept darting all around, watching for...something. Hiroshi could guess what it was. He didn't say anything, just put an arm around Tetsu's shoulders and pulled him into his side. Tetsu didn't relax, even then, but he did give Hiroshi a small, strained smile.

Sei kept up a running commentary with Murasakibara. Occasionally he asked about some recent snack flavor that some company had brought out, and Murasakibara would go into his opinions. Sei's knowledge of snacks seemed inexhaustible. Hiroshi didn't know why he was surprised. He suspected that Sei's knowledge of pretty much everything was close to inexhaustible.

Sei had also picked up one of Taiga's basketballs from the entryway as they left the apartment, and he dribbled it casually as they walked. His control of the ball was almost mesmerizing to watch, so complete it was, so seemingly effortless. Hiroshi enjoyed the sight.

Murasakibara and Sei slowed their pace to stay with Tetsu instead of going on ahead. By the time the four of them reached the store, it could barely be called a walk, having reduced in speed to something much closer to an amble. Or perhaps a crawl. No one commented on it. 

Inside the store, Tetsu relaxed a bit. He and Murasakibara perused the snack aisles, discussing which to buy now and which to buy later. Murasakibara declared that _everything_ was on the buy later list, he just needed certain very urgent purchases right now. Like potato chips. And rice crackers. And strawberry, matcha, and wasabi Kit Kats. 

At this point, Tetsu brought a package of purple sweet potato Kit Kats to Hiroshi and solemnly placed them in his hand. "Taiga-nii said you like these." Then he went back to his friend to continue their discussion. Hiroshi pressed his free hand to his chest to keep his heart from exploding. Sei smiled.

Hiroshi gave him a helpless look. "Was he like this in middle school, too?" He was almost desperate for stories of the son who had spent so many years apart from him. Taiga could only help a little, since he'd only known Tetsu for not quite a year. It had been a very, very full year, though.

Sei tilted his chin up, considering. "Yes," he said after a moment. "Tetsu-kun has always been incredibly aware of everyone around him. Ironic, considering that most of the time everyone around him is completely _unaware_ of him. He has always been generous and kind, performing small gestures to lift other people up. If you mention that you like a certain manga, he will buy the new volume for you the day it comes out and give it to you at school with a small nod, like it means nothing. If he learns that you like sweet potato Kit Kats, he will bring you a package even though you could get them yourself with only a few steps. And if you quit the basketball team, he will chase after you and try to keep you from leaving."

Hiroshi wanted to hear more, so much more. But Murasakibara and Tetsu had completed their choices, and they moved to the register with Murasakibara's arms piled high with treats, Tetsu trailing after him holding one bag in each hand. Hiroshi hurried up to pay the bill, ignoring Murasakibara when he tried to open his own wallet. 

"You are my guest," he told the boy cheerfully. "I insist." 

Murasakibara acquiesced with almost indecent speed. His wallet must have been grateful for the relief.

On the way back, Murasakibara carried all the plastic bags, letting them hang from his elbows as he opened a bag of potato chips and began to munch away, pulling out chips by the handful. Then he gave the bag to Tetsu, who carefully removed one chip, ate it, then gave the bag back. Murasakibara paused mid-chew to frown at him. Tetsu didn't seem to notice. Hiroshi and Sei hid their smiles behind their hands.

Murasakibara was distracted, though, when they passed by the little playground on the other side of the street. Again, he paused mid-chew, and he passed the bag of potato chips to Tetsu so he could shade his eyes with his hand and stare over the playground. "Oi, there's a basketball court over there."

The group paused to look. It was a small court, tucked into the back of the playground. A few elementary-age children were playing ball there, mostly just passing the ball back and forth and attempting shots on the basket. It was hard to see if you didn't know it was there, but Murasakibara was uncommonly tall, and apparently more observant than he looked.

Hiroshi nodded. "That's one reason Taiga and I chose this location back when we were looking for apartments. He wanted to be near a streetball court. That one doesn't get a lot of use, but it's nice and well-maintained."

Murasakibara grunted. Then he turned to Sei and casually stole the basketball Sei had been bouncing mid-dribble. "Hey, Aka-chin, let's all go shoot some baskets."

Sei raised his eyebrows. "Really, Murasakibara? You want to practice when you don't have to? That's not like you."

Murasakibara bounced the ball against the ground, his plastic bags shaking. "Don't be a jerk, Aka-chin. I'll crush you."

Sei laughed and began to cross the street, Murasakibara at his heels. Hiroshi started to follow, then paused at the tug on his sleeve. He looked down to find Tetsu standing stock-still, his fingers clenched in the fabric over Hiroshi's forearm. His face was pure white, and his eyes were pleading.

Hiroshi froze. "Tetsu-chan? What's wrong? Don't you want to play with your friends?"

Tetsu shook his head. "No. Please. I don't..."

He swayed. Hiroshi wrapped a hand around his arm to hold him up and waited. He didn't know what this was about, so he didn't know what he could do to help. It tore at his heart to see Tetsu looking afraid again, though.

Tetsu looked up at him. "I don't want...them to know... They're the only ones who don't know..."

"What, Tetsu-chan?" Hiroshi prompted gently. "What don't they know?"

Tetsu bit his lip. "They don't know my basketball is gone. They think I'm okay, or I will be soon. I don't... I don't want to spoil that for them."

Hiroshi held still. Taiga had told him something about this, but Hiroshi hadn't really understood it. How could someone's basketball just be "gone?" And yet Tetsu had been convinced that his was, that every skill he had learned over years and years of slow, agonizing, hard-won improvement had been taken away by his father. 

Taiga's best guess was that all of the pain and heartache Tetsu had suffered had caused a mental block for him. So Tetsu had told Taiga that he felt a brokenness inside himself, that he didn't think it could be fixed. But Hiroshi refused to believe that. They had to be able to fix it, or Tetsu would never be whole. That was unacceptable.

But for now, Tetsu still felt that brokenness, that loss. They had to deal with the world as it was, not as they wanted it to be. Hiroshi nodded, a lump in his throat, and raised a hand to ruffle it gently through his son's hair. "It's all right. We'll just tell them that you're getting worn out and you need to rest. You can sit on the sidelines and watch. They won't question it, especially if I'm the one who says it. Your friends care about you and they'll want you to get the rest you need. All right?"

Tetsu nodded, weakly at first, then a little stronger. The relief in his eyes was almost as heartbreaking as the fear had been, earlier. Hiroshi forced out a smile and looked across the street. "Ah, they already reached the court. Let's go join them."

Tetsu pulled in a deep breath and closed his eyes to steel himself for a moment. Then they went.


	47. Chapter 47

"Tetsu-chan, are you all right?" 

Hiroshi-san's voice was warm and concerned. They sat together on a bench, watching the basketball court. Akashi and Mura leisurely played ball in half the court, making shots on the basket and occasionally passing back and forth, sometimes engaging in a low-key one-on-one. The elementary-age children who had been playing on the court were still there, watching them with wide eyes and awed expressions. Akashi played up for his little audience, giving them charming smiles and performing flashy moves that made them laugh and clap, while Mura defended the basket and pretended to be annoyed by the attention.

Tetsu was in the fresh air. Hiroshi-san was at his side, and his friends were playing basketball, joyful and free, a pleasure to watch. His sickness had passed and his strength was rapidly returning with the good food and good company he'd been enjoying for the past few days. He should be feeling great, the best he'd been since the trouble had started a month and a half ago.

And yet...

And yet. 

His head was light and his palms were sweaty and unpleasantly cold. He couldn't make the swirl of nausea in his stomach go away. A low thrum of anxiety beat in the back of his head, exhausting him, dragging him down. 

It wasn't rational. After the panic attack faded, after all of Akashi's reassuring words, Tetsu had thought he was ready to go outside. He knew his father wasn't a threat to him anymore, would never be again. He _knew_ that. He did. Even if that hadn't been true, Tetsu was here with Hiroshi-san, who had saved him once and was perfectly willing to do it again. And only meters away were Akashi and Mura, his most cunning friend and his most physically imposing friend, respectively. He had nothing to be afraid of.

And yet he was. He was so, so frightened.

It didn't make sense. That was what made him feel the worst. He told himself over and over again all of the facts. His father had never known Taiga's address, so he wouldn't know to come here. Tokyo was enormous, and the chances of him finding this place by accident were vanishingly small, even knowing that it would be within a comfortable commuting distance from Seirin. 

He didn't have a reason to come after Tetsu. He had no legal right to him, and Tetsu had never known his father to be one for revenge or grudges—he just lost his temper, lost control of his rationality. He never really _planned_ to hurt Tetsu. He just did it.

And besides, he would be busy today. Very busy. Tomorrow he was leaving Tokyo for Russia, and he wasn't coming back. He had no time, no opportunity, no motivation to attack Tetsu again.

The facts didn't help. Tetsu was afraid, and he couldn't make the fear go away with intellectual arguments. It felt dreadful. He felt out of control, unable to contain himself. Children yelled on the playground, and his heart jumped against his throat, choking him. He wanted to sink into the earth and just...just hide from it all. But he couldn't do that. He was stuck.

"Tetsu-chan?" Hiroshi-san's voice was getting more worried. Tetsu blinked and looked up at him. 

"Sorry," he whispered. 

"Nothing to be sorry for." Hiroshi-san reached out for him. He rested his palm, warm and gentle, on the back of Tetsu's neck. He didn't ask again if Tetsu was all right. He must have been able to tell that he wasn't. 

Tetsu relaxed a bit at the touch. It seemed to ground him to reality, to the solidity of Hiroshi-san's presence at his side. He drew a shuddering breath and looked forward again. Akashi glanced at him from the court, a small frown fleeting over his lips, then turned back to Mura and the giggling children.

"I don't know why I'm scared," he murmured, trusting Hiroshi-san to hear him over all the noise of the playground, the urban outdoors. "I shouldn't be. This must be what paranoia is like."

He felt more than saw Hiroshi-san shake his head, slow and gentle. "It's not paranoia. It's trauma. You've had a lot of very bad experiences, Tetsu-chan. Your mind is trying to protect you from letting them happen again. It's normal, even healthy. I'm sorry it's so unpleasant for you, though." He gave the back of Tetsu's neck a comforting squeeze, and Tetsu leaned into his hand.

"When will it stop?" he whispered. "When will I feel normal again?"

"I don't know." Hiroshi's voice was regretful. "You'll have to be brave for a while longer. I know you can do it, though."

Tetsu breathed in, deep and slow. He had to go back to school in two days... What if he was still afraid then? Would it be even worse because it was a place he knew his father could find, or would it be better because his father would be out of the country by then? Would the shape of his fear change, causing him to be wary of more and different people? He remembered, though dimly, that he'd been afraid of some of the doctors at the hospital simply because they were male adults with a slight resemblance to the man who had hurt him. What if he started to be afraid of his teachers? 

At least he wasn't afraid of Hiroshi-san, though. At least he had never been afraid of Taiga, even though Taiga was large and strong and not adverse to violence. They had both already proven themselves. On separate occasions, Tetsu's new father and brother had both rescued him, protected him, and soothed his pain and distress. 

Similarly, he couldn't imagine himself being afraid of any of his teammates, previous or present. All of them had done something, large or small, to prove that they were on Tetsu's side. He hadn't been lying when he'd said that he could never be afraid of Mura-nii.

So maybe things weren't as bad as he'd thought they were. Tetsu pulled in another breath, slow and shaky, and blew it out again. He slumped down on the bench, his muscles relaxing. The fear didn't go away, but it became manageable. It helped to understand that it had a purpose, however misguided, and Hiroshi-san's touch and words reminded him that he didn't have to deal with it alone.

He raised his eyes to see that Akashi had abandoned any pretense at practice and was now just entertaining the children. They gathered around him, oohing and aahing, as he spun a basketball on his finger, then rolled it up his arm, across his shoulders, and down to his other arm, just to spin it on the finger of the other hand. It was all one smooth motion, graceful and assured. Beside Tetsu, Hiroshi-san laughed and clapped, too, utterly delighted.

"Again, again!" cried a little girl, tugging on the hem of Akashi's shirt. 

He smiled indulgently at her while Mura crossed his arms over his chest and muttered that he could do it much better if Aka-chin would just give him the ball, come now, Aka-chin, stop being selfish. The children had completely overcome their initial wariness of the giant teen, and now a little boy was trying to climb him like a tree, using Mura's crooked elbow for leverage, and other kids clustered around Mura while they watched Akashi spin the ball.

"One more time," Akashi agreed gently, and he did the same trick, ending with a flourish and a showman's bow.

Tetsu blinked. There seemed to be more children now than there had been in the beginning. He looked over his shoulder and found the swings and jungle gym, full when they arrived, now sparsely occupied. Ah. They'd all come over to watch the basketball show. Akashi had that power.

One of the little boys who had originally been on the court when they arrived pushed toward Akashi, holding out his child-size basketball. "Can you teach me how to do that, Onii-san?" he asked eagerly. "Please, please!"

"Hmm." Akashi narrowed his eyes in thought. He tossed his basketball to Mura without looking and took the child-size ball from the little boy. He hefted it in his hands, tossed it into the air, and pressed it between his palms. Then he gave the boy a broad, sparkling grin. "You've used this ball a lot, I can tell. You must really love basketball."

"I do, I do!" The boy gave a little hop in the air, smiling wide and gap-toothed. He clapped his hands over his head. "But I don't know how to spin the ball on my finger. Please teach me!"

"I would like to do that." The sincerity of Akashi's smile was unmistakable. The little boy beamed back at him. "It would be a great deal of fun to teach you this. But do you know who would be even better than me?" Akashi's voice lowered with the question, and he even bent over closer to him, as if he was sharing a secret with the boy.

The boy shook his head, wide-eyed and spellbound. He lowered his voice too. "No, who?"

Akashi straightened and looked over to the bench. "My friend, Tetsu-kun."

Tetsu's heart stuttered in his chest. He stared at Akashi in astonishment, completely unable to move.

The little boy looked over at him, took in the way he was sitting on the bench, limp and pale and thin, obviously weak and far from the picture of vibrant health that Akashi and Mura presented. His looked back to Akashi, his eyes skeptical. "Really? Tetsu-kun is a good teacher?"

Akashi nodded solemnly and held the basketball out to the boy. "Tetsu-kun is the best teacher I know, especially at basketball. He taught our friend Kise, you know, and now Kise is one of the best basketball players in Japan."

He made it sound so obvious. The way he voiced it, it was simply a fact. The kids could not question it—no one could. Akashi's word was absolute.

The little boy's eyes lit up, bright as the sun. He even gasped in wonder and celebration. He grabbed the ball from Akashi's hands and dashed over to the bench, several other children trailing in his wake. "Tetsu-kun, Tetsu-kun!" 

The boy stopped in front of Tetsu and looked up at him with enormous eyes, clear and innocent and pure. He stared at him for a moment, then cried again, "Tetsu-san! No, Tetsu-sensei!" He bowed deeply to him, holding out the basketball in both tiny hands. "Please teach me how to spin the ball!"

Tetsu couldn't breathe. He stared at the boy, at the ball, at the children fidgeting behind him, watching Tetsu with bright, sparkling eyes as they waited for the fabled teacher promised by their new hero, Akashi. He stared at Akashi, who gave him a gentle smile, soft and understanding, and at Mura, who was occupied spinning the basketball Akashi had tossed to him and looking around to see if anyone was watching. Lastly, he stared at Hiroshi-san, who had removed his hand from back of Tetsu's neck and was now giving him an encouraging look. 

"You can do it," Hiroshi-san said. "I know you can." 

_You're brave, Tetsu-chan,_ he was saying, and Tetsu knew it because Hiroshi-san had said similar things before. _You're so, so brave, and you don't have to prove it to me again. But I like it when others get to see it, too._

Slowly, slowly, his fingers trembling, Tetsu reached out for the ball. "All...all right," he said softly as the pebbled surface carressed the pads of his fingers, the palms of his hands. "I'll do my best."

The boy grinned and straightened, backing up to watch as Tetsu shakily stood to his feet, holding the ball. Tetsu's fingers tightened on the little ball, and for a moment he desperately wanted to throw it away. Into Akashi's face, preferably, like he'd thrown that ball at Aomine back in the Seirin gym when everything felt so heavy and horrible. 

Tetsu felt better now. He truly did. The despair and grief that had blanketed him then was largely lifted, and he was stronger and steadier in every conceivable way, not least because of the excellent support he'd been getting from everyone he knew. But he didn't feel ready for this. He didn't know if he could do it.

It was true that Tetsu had always been good at spinning a basketball. He'd spent a lot of time handling the ball, memorizing every nuance of its weight and size, the way it moved and bounced, impressing it on his skin and his spirit until he knew it better than he knew himself. It had been necessary for him to do those "magic" passes, to put the ball exactly where he wanted it with only the briefest of touches. Everyone who played basketball eventually learned or taught themselves how to do a finger spin, because it was cool and fun and impressive, and it always felt good to accomplish it well.

But what if he couldn't anymore? What if he tried to spin the ball and it just fell off his finger like a dead weight? What if he fumbled? What if it was gone? What if he made himself and Akashi look like enormous fools in front of this adoring little crowd?

He looked to Hiroshi-san again. Hiroshi-san smiled, soft and deep and confident. He had no doubts. None at all.

Tetsu drew a deep breath. Blew it out. He stared down at the ball, held steadily between his palms. He looked to the little boy.

"All right," he said again, stronger than before. "I'll show you how it's done. Pay close attention to how I do it, and then I'll teach you the steps."

He looked down at the ball again. It was small, but it felt good in his hands. Akashi was right—this ball had seen a lot of use. The rough surface was beginning to wear away in places, and the skin felt supple and relaxed in just the right way. Tetsu held the ball up in both hands, his fingers pressed against the lower hemisphere.

Then he tossed the ball into the air, starting the motion with a snap of his fingers. It spun in midair, perfectly horizontal, and his index finger rose to meet it. He caught the ball exactly on the correct point, and it balanced on his finger, spinning madly away with nary a wobble.

The little boy laughed and raised his hands, crying for more. On the court, Akashi smiled and Mura wrinkled his nose. Hiroshi-san chuckled, low and deep and satisfied but not at all surprised.

Tetsu's shoulders relaxed. He forgot that he'd been afraid, forgot that he'd ever felt anything but joy to be under the sky again, standing in the light. The basketball spun on his finger, smooth and swift and beautiful. It felt like coming home.

It was perfect.


	48. Chapter 48

Something had changed when Kagami and Himuro returned from basketball practice. Kagami felt it as soon as he stepped into the apartment, though he couldn't say what gave him that feeling. Something about the expression on his dad's face, maybe, or the light-hearted way Akashi and Murasakibara were playing card games in the main room. Kagami looked around, eyes narrowing in suspicion, while Himuro moved over to join Akashi and Murasakibara at their game.

Kagami looked to Dad, who was kneeling at the table in the main room with his laptop, just enjoying the atmosphere while he ostensibly worked. "Where's Tetsu-chan?"

Dad gave him a smile and nodded toward the balcony door. "He's enjoying the air."

Kagami's eyebrows rose. "Really?" Tetsu hadn't put one foot outside the apartment since they brought him home from the hospital. He and Dad had discussed it, once, aware that it was worrisome, but they'd decided to give Tetsu more time to recover before they pushed him into doing anything he wasn't comfortable with.

Dad's smile just got wider. "Really. We went down to the convenience store, and then Sei-chan and Mura-chan played at the streetball court for a while. And...I'll let Tetsu-chan tell you the rest. He'll want to share the news with you himself."

Kagami gave a slow blink. Sei-chan? Mura-chan? Clearly things had changed a lot in the few hours he'd been gone. And now Tetsu was on the balcony. He turned and looked, and saw his brother tucked into a corner of the railing, holding it with both hands and looking over the city. His stance seemed strong and relaxed, but there was a bend to his neck that spoke of sadness to Kagami.

"I'll go talk to him."

Dad nodded, and Kagami stepped away and set his hand on the balcony door. He moved it slowly and carefully, so the noise wouldn't startle Tetsu, and moved out to join him.

"Tetsu-chan, I'm home."

"Welcome back, Taiga-nii." Tetsu looked up at his approach and gave him a smile, smooth and sweet. But again, Kagami saw something sad there.

He leaned on the railing on his elbows next Tetsu and squinted down at the street below. "What are you thinking about?"

Tetsu stared with him. He was silent for a moment. "Akashi-kun said the two of you talked last night. Did he tell you that he was pulling strings to get my father transferred away?"

Kagami tilted his head. "No. He must not have wanted to say anything until it was final."

"It's final now. My father will be on a plane to Russia tomorrow. Akashi-kun says that he isn't coming back."

A fierce rush of joy lit in Kagami's chest. _Good._ Let the bastard go away and never return. Let him never trouble Tetsu again, neither his body nor his heart. Kagami glanced behind himself through the balcony door at Akashi, bent studiously over his hand of cards as Himuro laughed and Murasakibara pouted. Maybe the guy wasn't so bad after all.

But Tetsu was sad. Kagami turned back to him, careful to keep his savage happiness to himself. It wasn't what Tetsu needed right now. "Is that the news Dad said you wanted to tell me?"

Tetsu blinked and looked at him, his eyes wide. "I don't think so. I don't think Hiroshi-san knows about it yet. Akashi-kun was the one who told me."

"Then what was Dad talking about? He said you went to the convenience store, and then your buddies played on the streetball court, and then... He said you would want to tell me the rest."

"Oh." Tetsu smiled, sudden and broad. He all but glowed in the evening light. "I spun a basketball on my finger. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to, but... But I did. It worked. It felt wonderful."

Kagami sucked in a breath, a giant smile splitting his face in return. "Oh my God, Tetsu-chan, that's _fantastic!"_ It felt like winning the Winter Cup all over again. Kagami couldn't help himself. He lunged forward and wrapped Tetsu into an enormous hug, almost knocking him over in celebration.

Tetsu laughed and hugged him back. Kagami pushed away after a moment and held his shoulders, grinning so hard it felt like his face would break. "Does that mean it's back? Your basketball? Everything is good again?"

Tetsu's smile faded, though it didn't quite vanish. "I don't know. It was only a finger spin. I didn't try anything else." He looked down at his hands. They were trembling. "I don't... When I think about going on the court again, my knees still feel loose and my head gets light. I think maybe...this was just a start." He looked at Kagami again, smiling wider than ever. "But it was a start, for certain. And it feels great."

"Good, good. I'm so glad." Kagami hugged him again, quick and impulsive, then let go and turned back to the railing, grinning out at the city. In that moment, he loved everything and everyone. Tetsu-chan was getting better. His bastard father was going away. The world was beautiful.

Except...

Kagami looked back to Tetsu again. He was looking over landscape again, still with a small smile playing on his lips. But that hint of sadness hadn't gone away. Kagami couldn't really be happy until that was gone, too.

He gave it a few moments to settle in, to let the high of celebration fade. Then he turned his head to stare at Tetsu's face. "So why then... With all this good news... Why are you sad?"

Well. He'd made a try at subtlety. Failed in the end, but he hadn't really expected a different outcome.

Tetsu didn't seem bothered by the bluntness. He was probably used it by now. He sighed, his hands tightening on the railing, and shook his head. "It's stupid."

"It's not," Kagami said. Whatever was bothering his little brother couldn't possibly be stupid. He leaned over to bump his shoulder against Tetsu's. "C'mon, tell me."

"It's just..." Tetsu bent over to fold his arms on top of the railing and rest his chin on them. "I never really... I never said good-bye."

Ah. Kagami should have remembered. Tetsu still loved his father, even while he feared him. It was complicated and uncomfortable, almost as much for Kagami as it was for Tetsu. Tetsu had chosen this family, chosen Kagami and his dad, and he was happy here. But he had been happy with his old family, too, once upon a time, and he still grieved for that.

And it was true that he'd never had a chance to say good-bye. At Maji Burger, he'd been out of his head with fever by the time everything was concluded. It was a toss-up whether he even remembered the last thing he'd said to his father, or the last thing Kuroko-san had said to him. They had probably been words of anger and fear, anyway. It all must feel so disconnected, so unfinished. For both of them, probably. And the sudden move to Russia wasn't going to help with that.

Kagami didn't give a single yen about Kuroko-san's feelings. He could suffer from a lack of closure for all eternity, for all Kagami cared. But Tetsu was different. Him, Kagami cared about. A lot.

"What do you want to do?" he asked. "We could go to the apartment tonight so you can have a word." He regretted the suggestion as soon as it left his mouth. No, never. Tetsu shouldn't do that, and Kagami shouldn't allow it. Dad might like it, though. He would want to come along on the off-chance that he would get a reason to punch Kuroko-san in the face.

Tetsu shivered and shook his head. "N-no. I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm not ready for that."

Kagami grunted. "No, that was a bad idea. How about this instead: We find out from Akashi when and where his flight is taking off, and you can go to the terminal and give your dad the finger as he leaves."

Tetsu laughed at that, startled out of his fear. "I don't want to give him the finger. I just want to say good-bye. I just want..." He went quiet, leaning more heavily on the railing. "I don't really know what I want. I wish I could... I wish I could tell my father what I need to tell him, just once. Once and for all, and then done. But the thought of seeing him face to face right now makes me feel even worse than the idea of going on the basketball court again. If I saw him, I don't know if I would be able to speak at all. I think my throat might close up. He terrifies me so, so much. But I also..." He drew a breath, shaky, on the edge of tears. "I also love him, and miss him, and I know that's weird and messed up, and I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I can't help it, I wish I could but I can't, I wish..."

"Tetsu-chan..." Kagami couldn't stand it. He leaned down next to Tetsu on the railing and put an arm around him. "Tetsu-chan, stop that. Stop it. You aren't weird. Of course you love your father, even though you're scared of him. I know you had good times with him, too. He ruined that, in the end, but that doesn't mean the good times never happened. There's nothing wrong with you feeling the way you do."

Tetsu turned his head and sobbed into his big brother's shoulder. "I want to say good-bye, but I don't know how."

"Then we'll figure it out, okay? We'll figure it out, just like we're figuring out everything else. It'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

Tetsu nodded into his shoulder, sniffling. His tears were already dying away, though. He trusted Kagami, trusted his word. Kagami squeezed him tighter in response. He couldn't fix everything for Tetsu immediately the way he wanted to, but at least he could help.

After a moment, Tetsu pulled back and straightened away from the railing, rubbing his eyes. Kagami stood next to him, close but not touching, giving him a little space. "Are you ready to go back in?"

Tetsu nodded, though he sighed a little. "Mura-nii is going to grab me again. He barely let me go on the balcony alone at all. Akashi-kun had to be firm with him."

Kagami could have laughed. This problem seemed so trivial when compared to the other issues Tetsu was dealing with. He kept his face serious, though. "You want me to run interference?"

Tetsu looked relieved. "Yes, please."

"All right." Kagami ruffled his hair. "Let's go, then."

Inside, though, there was a commotion around the front door. Dad and Akashi were both standing in the entryway, staring down at something on the floor. Murasakibara hung back in the hall, looking around the corner as if he thought whatever it was might be a bomb, and Himuro stood in the main room, scowling in that general direction with his arms crossed over his chest.

Kagami moved hesitantly up to his big brother, Tetsu slightly behind him. "Aniki, what's going on?"

Himuro turned to frown at him. "A package came for Tetsu-kun. Your father is deciding whether or not to take it directly to the dump. Or call the police."

"Wait, what?"

Tetsu was already pushing past Kagami and making his way toward the object in question. Kagami reached out to grab his shoulder, but Tetsu slipped away. He made it all the way to the entryway and stood by Dad, Kagami and Himuro following close behind.

"What is it, Hiroshi-san?" Tetsu pressed up against Dad's side.

Dad put an arm around his shoulders, still staring at the thing on the floor. He nudged the box with his foot, making it scoot a few centimeters along the wooden planking. It seemed to be rather light, though it was a fair-sized box, about the size of the moving boxes Aomine and the others had brought over two weeks ago.

"Don't touch it," Dad said, squeezing Tetsu tight into his side. "It might be dangerous."

"How do you know?"

"Look at the return address."

Tetsu looked, and Kagami craned to see it, too. Tetsu figured it out first. "Oh." He blinked. "It's from my father."

Dad grimaced. "A delivery service brought it by. I signed for it before I noticed the address. Now I don't know what to do with it. Drop it off the balcony? That might be safest."

Kagami expected Tetsu to shudder and agree. He knew how scared Tetsu was of his father, of even the idea of seeing him. But Tetsu shook his head solemnly. "No. I don't think it's dangerous."

He dropped to his knees by the box and began to lift it in both hands. "Tetsu-kun!" Akashi rapped out, darting forward to stop him. "It could be a bomb!"

Kagami shivered. Murasakibara's position in the hall suddenly made sense.

But Kuroko just shook his head again and looked up at Akashi with his wide blue eyes, serious but unafraid. "That's not the way my father works. He hurt me, yes, very badly and very often. But it was never...calculated. This must be something else."

Akashi halted, and no one else moved to take the package away. But no one tried to help, either. Tetsu blew out a breath and looked to Kagami. "Taiga-nii?"

Kagami slumped, but he really couldn't refuse this kid anything. He'd tried. It didn't work. "Fine, fine," he grumbled, already stepping away. He went to the kitchen and fetched his least favorite paring knife, then stomped over to Tetsu and scooped up the box with one hand. It was as light as he'd thought it would be. He couldn't imagine what was inside, but surely a bomb would be heavier, right? "Let's at least go to the main room, then."

He set the box on the table and knelt by it, knife poised. The others gathered around at various distances, Tetsu kneeling beside him, Dad and Himuro standing nearby, Akashi leaning on the counter, and Murasakibara still in the hall, peering around the corner into the main room instead of into the entryway. Kagami looked at the box, then to Tetsu.

"I'm gonna open this for you, but you have to let me look at what's inside first. Just in case. If it's anything bad or upsetting, I'll take care of it."

Tetsu nodded solemnly, then made a show of covering his eyes with hands. "I trust you, Taiga-nii."

"Yeah, and I trust you, too, or I would be agreeing with Dad about dropping this thing off the balcony."

Tetsu smiled. Kagami shook his head with a grumble, then stuck the knife under the nearest edge of the shipping tape. He swiped it through all the seams, then grabbed the flap and pulled it open, popping an edge of tape he'd missed with the knife. Nothing exploded or flew out. He peered into the box, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Oh." His voice was light and surprised.

Tetsu's face twitched behind his shielding hands. "Taiga-nii?"

Kagami slumped down beside the table. "It's okay. You can look."

Tetsu lowered his hands, blinking in the light, and Kagami reached into the box and drew out the first item. It almost made him laugh, though it wasn't really funny. "First thing... It's a basketball." He hefted the ball between his palms and set it in Tetsu's hands. "I'm pretty sure I recognize it. It's your ball, right? The one you've been practicing with on the street lately? Aomine and the guys must have missed it when they got your stuff."

Tetsu knelt there on the floor with the ball in his lap, blinking. His face twisted up, his emotions unreadable. Shock? Grief? Humor? All of the above?

"Yes," he said softly, his voice choked. "It's my basketball."

A harsh chuckle jerked at Kagami's chest, ripping like a bullet. "Your basketball. Your father is trying to give you back your basketball."

It was so funny. It was hilarious. It was also the least humorous thing that had ever happened to Kagami in his entire life. He shook his head and reached into the box to pull out the next item—a somewhat large bundle wrapped in a blanket. "And here's this one."

Tetsu set the basketball aside and held out his hands for the blanket-bundle, his breath stuttering in his chest. "This..."

Kagami nodded. "I think I remember that blanket, too. It was over a chair in the hallway at your apartment."

Tetsu's fingers tightened on the bundle. "It was my mother's," he whispered. "It..."

Kagami swallowed. He'd figured. "Open it and see what's inside."

Tetsu obeyed. Everyone pretended they couldn't see his fingers tremble. The blanket fell away, revealing what it had been protecting from the bumps and jostles of the journey. A green pot, beautiful and finely crafted, decorated with a pattern of leaves across the surface. Kagami remembered that item from Tetsu's apartment, too, remembered thinking that it seemed out of place, a keepsake, something treasured.

Tetsu traced his hand around the opening of the pot. "My mother loved this," he murmured. "It was her favorite... She always said... She said that when I married, she would give it to my bride, so we could start our home with a piece of beauty."

Everyone was silent for a long moment. Then Kagami reached into the box and pulled out the last thing. It was an envelope, thick and unexpectedly heavy. He hefted it his hands and pressed it between his fingers. He felt the outline of a key.

Tetsu watched him silently. He did not reach out for the envelope, his hands still holding the pot in his lap. "It's a letter."

Kagami nodded. "A letter." He looked Tetsu in the eyes. "Would you like me to read it for you first? To make sure there's nothing in there that will hurt you?"

Tetsu hesitated, but he shook his head. "No. I should read it alone." He held out his hand for the envelope, and Kagami set it gently in his hand. Tetsu's fingers closed around the thick paper, holding tight. He drew in a thick, shaking breath. "I...I'm not ready to read it yet, I don't think," he said slowly. "But... Soon. I'll read it soon."

Kagami watched him carefully. "Good-bye," he said.

Tetsu looked up at him. Blinked.

"Your father is saying good-bye."

"Oh." Tetsu looked down at his hands, at his lap. The blanket, the basketball, the pot, the letter. He looked to Akashi. "If I wrote a letter for my father, would you make sure he got it?"

Akashi nodded immediately. "Of course. Just let me know. You won't need to know the address. Just give me the letter, and I'll see to it that's it's delivered safely."

Tetsu nodded. He set the envelope on the table and held the pot with both hands again. And he knelt there, and he breathed.


	49. Chapter 49

My Dearest Tetsuya,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. It is not my intention to distress you with this, but there are certain things I need to tell you. I knew, though, that I should not contact you by phone or by email, so I chose this method.

Please keep and treasure the pot and the blanket. Your mother loved them both. The pot was one of our first purchases as a newly married couple that was not for practical purposes. She loved the color and the lines, so she wanted to have it in our new home. The blanket, you may recall, was sewn by your grandmother. Your mother always felt a touch of home when she kept it nearby, and more than once she mended the blanket where a hole had been worn. Please keep it with the same care. I hope you feel her caress when you touch it, just as I always did.

I'm sorry I don't have any other mementos to give you. Your friend, Aomine-kun, was very upset when he could not find any pictures of your mother that day he and your other friends came to collect your belongings. I was out of my mind at the time, and I treated Aomine-kun very cruelly. I told him that I had burnt the pictures because they reminded me of a happier time and I could not bear that.

That is not the whole truth. While I did begin to find the sight of your mother's face unbearable, I did not burn anything. I put the photos in a long-term storage locker where I would not have to see them unless I deliberately sought them out. In that I was cruel, as I have been in many things, since I did not ask your opinion. I still remember how devastated you looked when you came home and there was only one picture left in the entire house that showed your mother's face. That photo was the one that had been in your room, so I didn't think of it. Later, I put it on the wall in the hallway as a small act of contrition to you, but it was not enough. 

I did not have time to retrieve the photos before I left Tokyo. I regret that. I would have liked to take at least one or two with me to Russia. But, as with many other things that have happened, I have no one to blame but myself. So here is the key for the locker, and at the bottom of the letter I will leave the address of the storage facility and the password for the attendant. When you feel strong enough, go and get anything you like from there.

In the week since I lost you, I have thought a lot about what happened between us and who was to blame. Indeed, I have thought of little else. I am ashamed to admit that at first I blamed your new friends most unjustly. I blamed Kagami Taiga for taking you from our home, and I blamed Kagami Hiroshi for keeping you away. But as my mind cleared, I realized that what Kagami-san said in the restaurant was true. No one stole you from me. I lost you all on my own, and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life. No other regret will ever cut so keenly, so deep. But I deserve this pain, so I will bear it.

I hope you will believe me when I say that I truly do love you. You are my son, and you are precious to me. In my madness, I saw something other than my son when I looked at you, but I have only myself to blame for letting my vision become so clouded. I chose to stop taking the medication that helped me maintain my impulse control, my grip on reality. I thought I could control myself, at least for a little while, but that turned out not to be the case. You asked me not to do that, not to let the reins on myself go, but I ignored you. I thought you were saying that you could not trust me. In retrospect, you were completely correct. You cannot trust me. I cannot trust myself. Sometimes, love is not enough. 

In my madness, I blamed you, but that was because of fear and weakness on my part. I did not want to believe I could do what I had done. I did not want to believe that I was that pathetic and twisted inside. Now that my eyes are clear again, I am thoroughly ashamed. I built walls around myself so that I could present myself to the world as a strong, confident, and good man. But those walls have all fallen now, and I am revealed for the ugly, wretched creature that I have become. That I always was.

You did nothing wrong, Tetsuya. If there is only one thing that you can take away from this letter, if there's only one thing that I can truly give you, let it be that. You were always a wonderful son, far better than I deserved. You fought for me far harder and far longer than I ever fought for myself. You did nothing wrong. Indeed, you did far more than what was required of you by any kind of familial duty, always giving more than you should have, more than you really were able to give. You gave and gave, and all I did was take. It seems to be my nature, and I don't know how to change that, so I have come to understand that it is best that we part ways, even though that wounds me to my core.

I can never atone for what I did to you, and I will not try to. If, someday, you are able to forgive me, that would make me glad. But you don't have to tell me. I will live in hope, but I will not contact you.

I know how caring you are, even for those who have hurt you deeply, so I want you to rest assured that I will be okay. I am going to have a fresh start in a new country far from Japan and everything that was inflicted on me and everything I inflicted on others. My company gave me a very comprehensive guide on resources that I can find at my new post, and someone had bookmarked the page for mental health assistance. I will take my medication, and I will seek out help instead of rejecting it for fear of appearing weak. I know now that I am a weak man, a very weak man, and I see no value in hiding that anymore.

I hope that you can have a fresh start, too. I hope that the Kagami name and the Kagami family will be good to you. I believe that will be true. I saw the way you looked at Kagami Hiroshi in that restaurant, and I saw the way he looked at you. The trust and affection between the two of you made me burn with envy. We had that once, or so I thought, but I chose to throw it away. But now, at the end, I have the clarity to be grateful that you were able to find it again, even though it wasn't with me. 

Kagami Hiroshi told me that he would treasure you. I believe that is true. I certainly hope so. But if anything ever goes wrong, I think you have a lot of other people who will want to help you. Please don't make my mistake. Please don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it. It is not weakness to acknowledge your own needs and try to meet them. It is strength.

And you are very strong, Tetsuya. You always have been, and I believe that you will only continue to get stronger in the future.

Farewell, my son. Grow and learn and be strong. Take care.

I am now and always will be, most sincerely,  
Your father

Dear Father,

Thank you for the letter. I hope that wherever you are today, you are well and happy. Please keep the promise you made in your letter. Please see a doctor regularly, keep your medicine up to date, and take it when you're supposed to. I'm not there to help you anymore, so you have to take care of yourself. I want you to do that.

I miss you. I miss the times we had together. I think I always will. I won't be able to walk in the park in springtime without thinking of you. I'll never look out at a crowd from the basketball court without wondering if you're somewhere in the stands, watching me. 

I love you. But I can't stop thinking about what you said in your letter where you said that sometimes, love is not enough. It hurts me to say it, but you are right. The love you have for me and the love I have for you is not enough to enable us to live together, or even to see each other. Not anymore.

I'm not ready to forgive you, yet. You hurt me very badly. I don't think you understand quite how much you hurt me. I'm not sure I understand it, either. For a long time, I didn't let myself acknowledge that you hurt me at all. For years and years, I let myself believe that the way you treated me was normal. You taught me, by words and by actions, that I deserved your violence. You taught me that I was a freak and a monster who deserved to be struck and beaten. I'm still learning how false that was. I think it will take a long time to undo the damage of that.

But I do think a time will come when I'll be able to forgive you for everything. I don't know when, but I feel the possibility up ahead somewhere. It's like when you're standing in the world right before sunrise, and the sun hasn't come up yet, but you can tell that it's going to. The world is still and dark and silent, but light is on the horizon. I believe that morning light will come. When it does, perhaps I will contact you again. It might take a long time. Be patient.

In the meantime, I want you to know that I am happy. I'm as happy as I can possibly be. Hiroshi-san and Taiga-nii do indeed treasure me. I have never known such kindness and care, not since we lost Mother, though the way they love me is different than the way Mother loved me. But it's good. It's very good. I think there are not many people in the world who are treated as tenderly as I am treated.

I don't think you were ever aware of this, but part of the damage you did to me was that for a time, I was unable to play basketball. My skills seemed to have vanished. I felt that you had taken my basketball away from me somehow, and I felt a brokenness deep within myself. Taiga-nii thinks it was something like a mental block, and mental blocks can be worked past. Aomine-kun thought it would be simple to fix, and while he wasn't quite correct, his confidence in my ability to heal made it easier for me to believe it, too. Aomine-kun has always believed in my potential even when no one else did, even when I didn't.

Thank you for sending my basketball in that box. You probably didn't mean it that way, but it felt to me like you were trying to give back my skills, too. Even more than the letter, it was truly the best apology you could have offered. 

The brokenness in me is not fixed yet, but I think that it's going to be, sooner or later. Today is Sunday, the day after you sent the box. Some of my friends are going to get together at one of the better courts in Tokyo this afternoon and play for a while. I had planned to just sit on the sidelines and watch, but I think instead I will take my basketball along and try to join in. I know everyone will be kind and patient with me, even if I fumble, so I am not afraid of failure. 

Thank you for the blanket and the pot. I slept under the blanket last night, and I didn't dream at all. We have put the pot in a place of honor in the main room. It reminds me, as well as Hiroshi-san and Taiga-nii, of where I came from. It tells us of the love that bore me and the love that let me come to them. I will never forget Mother. And I will never forget you.

Good-bye, Father. Be well. I hope you find a good life, even though it will be without me from now on.

Sincerely,  
Kagami Tetsuya


	50. Chapter 50

"You read the letter, didn't you?" Tetsu asked.

Akashi gave him a look, cool and unconcerned. His expression screamed innocence. Tetsu was not fooled. 

"You don't really think that I would invade your privacy like that, do you?" Akashi acted like it was a rhetorical question, but the guilty edge to his voice gave him away.

Tetsu sat back in his seat and tightened his grip on the basketball in his lap. They were on the train, on their way to the basketball courts. It wasn't the most secluded place for a chat, but the train car was quite noisy for a Sunday afternoon, full of people enjoying their day off. Even Taiga-nii wasn't paying attention to them, entirely occupied in keeping Mura from digging into the basket of homemade snacks that he was bringing along. Himuro was laughing at them both and being only marginally helpful in assisting his little brother to protect his treats.

Tetsu watched Akashi without blinking. He didn't have to say anything. He only stared at him with a blank face. After a few seconds, as he expected, Akashi cracked.

He sighed and looked away, scuffing his shoe on the rough metal floor. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it."

Tetsu shook his head. "It's all right. I expected you to."

Akashi looked back to him, his face flushing. "You expected me to break your confidence? You trusted me with private correspondence, and I betrayed your trust. You expected me to do that?"

Tetsu smiled, unable to keep his stern countenance in the face of this. "That's not quite how I see it, no. I expected you to be protective of me, to want to make sure there was nothing in the letter that could be harmful to me in the future. I wouldn't have given the letter to you if I didn't trust you with it. Including the contents."

"Ah." Akashi slumped in his seat and rubbed the back of his head. "You're far too kind, Tetsu-kun. I don't deserve..."

He went quiet. Tetsu watched him carefully. This was why he'd brought it up.

"What is that you think you don't deserve, Akashi-kun?" he asked quietly, knowing that Akashi would hear him even over the noise of the train car.

Akashi shook his head, again not meeting Tetsu's eyes. "You told your father that you couldn't forgive him yet."

It seemed like a change of subject, but Tetsu knew that it wasn't. "Yes, I did. I had to be honest, even though I knew it would be cruel to say such a thing in a farewell. I wanted him to understand where we stood, even if it was hurtful. My father was contrite in his letter to me, but I still don't think he truly comprehends how much pain he caused me. Nor do I. I can't forgive something I don't even understand."

Partway through, Akashi turned back to watch Tetsu as he spoke. When he was done, Akashi nodded.

"This is all fair and just," he said. "You deserve to take as much time as you need to. If you never forgive your father at all, it's only as much as he deserves. He should be grateful that you troubled yourself to write him a letter at all, and you have every right to be unkind in your words to him after the way he treated you. Rather, he should value your honesty. That's kindness enough."

"Thank you," Tetsu murmured. "I appreciate your thoughts on the matter. But...why do you still look troubled, Akashi-kun?"

Akashi sighed and looked down at his hands. "You're fair to your father, Tetsu-kun. But you're not being fair to me."

Tetsu blinked.

Akashi glanced up at him, then down again. "You should not have forgiven me so easily."

"If this is about how you knew, I already told you..."

Akashi shook his head. "No. I'm referring to our third year in middle school. Especially the last match. I knew... You told me how important it was to you that we play fair, that we treat our opponents with respect. And I responded to your sincere feelings with complete disregard. The others didn't know that your dear childhood friend was playing against us, but I did. I even spoke to him in the hall. I treated him cruelly, and I was just as cruel to you when I didn't stop the others from going through with that ridiculous plan. I condoned it. I chuckled at the idea."

Tetsu was silent, staring away.

"I don't blame you at all for quitting the club after that." Akashi's voice was heavy with regret. "I made you hate something you love, and I used your friend to do it."

They fell quiet for a long moment. Tetsu watched Taiga argue with Mura. He wasn't listening to the words, just watching their expressions, Taiga outraged and defensive, Mura petulant and disgusted. They were probably arguing about food. Himuro just sat next to them, smiling as if he couldn't imagine a better place to be.

"You said..." Tetsu said slowly. Akashi went very still, listening. "You said I forgave you too easily. I suppose it seems that way to you. But it wasn't actually easy at all."

He looked over at his friend. Akashi's eyes were intense, but his expression was blank.

"After I quit the club, I spent a lot of time thinking about what happened, about where things went wrong. And yes, I hated basketball for a while. I hated what it had become. But I didn't only hate what it had become for me. I hated what it had become for you, too.

"I grieved for what we had lost. For the team we used to be. You've always been talented at basketball, so you've probably always had a good team around you, comrades you enjoyed working with and who enjoyed working with you. But for me, our second year at Teiko was the first time I got to experience something like that. It was amazing. It was all I had ever wanted. And I thought that the rest of you were happy, too. You certainly seemed to be."

"We were," Akashi murmured. "I know we were."

"After things started to change, no one was happy anymore. Basketball stopped being fun for all of you, for all of us. Especially for Aomine, which was the cruelest cut of all, since he had always loved basketball the most. You were all in pain, and you acted out of that pain. After some time for reflection, I was able to recognize that. You hurt me, yes, and you hurt my dear friend. But you were hurting, too."

He looked Akashi frankly in the eyes. "It was hard for me to forgive you, Akashi-kun. For a while I thought I wouldn't be able to. But eventually I was able to understand my own feelings, and I knew what I wanted. I didn't want to punish you. I wanted to get you back. I wanted to return to the way things used to be when we were happy.

"I joined Seirin because when I saw them play, they made basketball seem fun again. They were enjoying themselves and enjoying each other's company. It was obvious just from watching them play for a few minutes. And I desperately wanted that. When I decided, along with Taiga-nii, to defeat the Generation of Miracles, it wasn't because I wanted revenge on you. I wanted to show you by actions, since words were not enough, that basketball could be different than what it had become for all of you. That you didn't have to hate it anymore. The Seirin team taught me that again in only a few minutes. How could they fail to teach the rest of you that in the course of an entire game? It was the only solution I saw, and it was the only one available to me. Perhaps it was desperate, and perhaps it was foolish, and perhaps it was grasping at straws. But I gambled. I gambled on Seirin and I gambled on Taiga-nii, and I won."

"I see." Akashi's voice was almost inaudible. He spoke a little louder, then. "As I said, you are much too kind, Tetsu-kun. I'm grateful, of course. But I still don't understand."

Tetsu tilted his head. "What else do you need me to explain?"

"You told your father you couldn't forgive him. But you forgave me before I even understood that I needed forgiveness. You said it was hard for you, but still... What I did to you and what your father did to you was not that different."

Tetsu jerked his head up to stare at him, his eyes wide. He felt like his heart had stopped for a moment. "Akashi-kun, you did not abuse me."

Akashi shook his head gently. "I mistreated you. I didn't lay a hand on you, but still... I see too many similarities. We both had positions of power over you, he as your father and I as your captain. We both made you feel that you didn't matter, that your feelings were not worth our consideration. And we were both out of our heads, in a sense, but still ultimately responsible for our actions. We both drove you away and caused you immense pain. If your father does not merit forgiveness, then neither do I."

Tetsu stared down at the basketball in his lap, his fingers tightening on the thick skin. Over the past day, he had ceased avoiding contact with his sport and started to find comfort in it again, even though he still had doubts about his abilities, if they would return, how long he would have to work to get them back. But he was glad he had the ball now. The touch of it on his hands, the weight in his lap, was a comfort and an anchor as he tried to figure out what to say.

"You said..." he started slowly. "You said that Taiga-nii told you what I'd been through, but not all the details. Did he tell you that the trouble between my father and me began long ago? Not just in middle school, but years before that?"

Akashi drew in a breath. "I knew he hit you in middle school. And Kagami told me a little about how badly you were hurt in the last few weeks before he intervened. But he didn't tell me about how it began, no."

"The first time it happened, I was eight years old. My father beat me so badly that I had internal damage and had to stay in the hospital for a while."

Akashi said nothing.

"And yes, he continued to hit me. Not often. Once every few months, perhaps, he would lose his temper because he was stressed, because I did something to annoy him. I forgave him every time. I forgave, and forgave, and forgave. I came to believe, deep down, that I did something to invite his violence. That I deserved it. But there was still a part of me that knew it was wrong. And so I had to forgive him. I had to give chance after chance after chance, until I finally couldn't do it anymore. Until Taiga-nii took me away from there and taught me that I deserved better. That I deserved a better life and a family who will love me and never hurt me."

Tetsu looked up from the basketball and found Akashi watching him, his face pale and his eyes intense. Akashi was not one for tears, and Tetsu knew that. But he was certainly affected by this story, and Tetsu regretted causing him pain. He had to make sure that Akashi understood, though.

"What you did was not the same, Akashi-kun. You hurt me, but it was not out of deliberate cruelty. As you said, you disregarded my feelings. You were caught up in your own terror and pain, your fear that the team would fall apart unless you could force us all to hold together by any means necessary. Including playing those cruel games with our opponents. You did what you did out of a desire to protect, to keep safe what was yours. You were wrong. You made many mistakes. But you were not abusive. You were a young student with no guidance—I remember how the adults at Teiko stepped away, all but washing their hands of us—and you did the best you could under the circumstances. You didn't do a very good job of it, and I'm glad you understand that now. But you did not abuse me. You hurt me by mistake while you were also in great distress. It is not the same at all."

Akashi blinked. "I see." His voice was so quiet that Tetsu could barely hear him.

Tetsu smiled. "I told you how many second chances I gave my father. Many, many chances. So many I lost count. And now that I've explained the difference between your actions and his, do you still not believe that you deserve at least one second chance from me? Not just from me, but from the world, too?"

"I see," Akashi said again, a little stronger.

Tetsu looked down at his lap again, drooping. This was exhausting. He suddenly understood why Taiga had been so worried about his ability to soothe Tetsu's mental wounds. It took a great deal more effort and energy than simply bandaging a cut.

Akashi scooted a little closer to him, sitting straight and tall and looking ahead. His cheeks were red, but his expression remained impassive. Tetsu glanced up at him, gave him a little smile. Akashi pretended not to see it. Tetsu let himself slump down and leaned his head on Akashi's shoulder.

Taiga made another outraged noise. Tetsu and Akashi both ignored him.


	51. Chapter 51

Kise was already on the courts when they arrived, his dour-faced senpai loitering behind him. Kise lit up as soon as they appeared and raced to meet them. Tetsu halted, waiting, and Kagami stopped beside him for moral support. Himuro, Akashi, and Murasakibara stopped, too.

"Kurokocchi!" Kise's arms were outstretched as if he planned to bowl Tetsu over, but he saw the forbidding look on Kagami's face and pulled up short at the last second. He danced on his feet, fidgeting and grinning. "I'm so glad you're here! Are you feeling better? You look like you're feeling better." Again he started to reach out as if to touch Tetsu, then remembered himself and pulled back. He spared a grin for the others, too. "Hello, Akashicchi, Murasakibaracchi! And Kagamicchi too! What a wonderful day!" His attention immediately returned to Tetsu.

Tetsu gave him a smile. "I'm happy to see you, too, Kise-kun. And yes, I'm feeling much better. Everyone has been taking very good care of me."

"I wanted to come visit you again, but Akashicchi said we shouldn't overwhelm you while you're recovering. I got your text, though... Did your name really change?"

Tetsu nodded. "It did. My name is Kagami Tetsuya now." As always when he talked about his new name and his new family, a sudden smile bloomed on Tetsu's face, brilliant and overwhelming. Kagami was getting used to it, but Kise blinked, dazzled, and even Kasamatsu, slowly approaching from behind, widened his eyes in astonishment.

"Ah, I see." Kise leaned back on heels, rubbing the back of his head. "Should I call you Kagamicchi now?" He cut a glance to Kagami, as if worried that this would bother him. Kagami snorted. If Kise just called him "Kagami" without the silly ending, he'd be happy.

"You can do that if you want," Tetsu said softly, shy as always when discussing the subject of nicknames. It was as if he still didn't quite believe that anyone would want to express their closeness and affection for him in such a public manner. "Or you could just call me by my given name. I don't mind."

"Tetsuyacchi?" Kise grinned so hard his eyes almost shut. "That's cute! I really like it."

Tetsu smiled warmly. He looked to Kasamatsu, as well. "You could call me Tetsu, if you prefer, Kasamatsu-san."

Kasamatsu nodded solemnly. "Thank you, Tetsu-kun. You honor me."

"I must thank you for your help earlier. Your support was very important for Kise-kun. And your words to me were very kind."

Kasamatsu offered a soft crook of the lips, almost a smile, tender and a bit confused. "I'm glad to see you feeling better. And I'm glad to see that you brought your basketball. Are you going to play with us today?"

Tetsu glanced down at the basketball in his hands, as if he'd forgotten it was there, then raised his head and smiled again. "I would like to, yes."

"Good."

"Tetsuyacchi!" Kise danced backward, waving both hands at Tetsu to gain his attention. "C'mon, let's go play while we wait for the others to show up! C'mon, the court's right over there!" He pointed his thumb back over his shoulder.

Tetsu hesitated. He looked up at Kagami, almost like he was looking for permission. Or encouragement, anyway. Oh, yeah. Kise was one of the few who didn't know that Tetsu had lost his basketball, in addition to all the other horrors he'd suffered. He would expect Tetsu to be the same as he'd always been and wouldn't know to be patient with him.

Kagami shrugged. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Tell him to buzz off if you don't feel up to it. I'll help you chase him away."

Kise halted, his face dropping in dismay. "Kagamicchi! You would chase me away? So mean!"

"Only if Tetsu-chan wants me to." Kagami squared his shoulders and leaned forward, ready to throw his weight around if his little brother required it.

Kasamatsu threw back his head and laughed. "You've met your match, Kise. Kagami isn't just a nii-san, now. He's a guard tiger, too. Never mess with the cubs when the mama is around."

Kagami squinted at him, not sure if this was an insult or not. At least he hadn't called him a mother hen. And Kagami was inclined to take the comparison to a tiger as a compliment. But there _was_ the "mama" in there...

Kise saw where he was beaten. He turned his appeal to Tetsu. "Save me, Tetsuyacchi! Tell your overbearing nii-san that you want to play basketball with me!"

Tetsu hesitated, then offered a smile. "I promised Aomine-kun that I would do floor bounces with him. I need to keep that promise, first. I'll join you later."

"We'll come," Akashi said. He stepped toward the court with a brief touch to Murasakibara's arm to bring him along. Murasakibara followed him amiably. "Two on two? We'll let the three brothers keep an eye out for the others here at the park entrance."

"All right, all right," Kise agreed, happy with this solution. He turned and jogged to the court, the other three behind him. 

Tetsu watched them go, and Kagami didn't think he was seeing things when he thought he read longing in his eyes. "You okay, Tetsu-chan?" he asked softly.

Tetsu shook his head gently, not in answer so much as just shaking off whatever mood had gripped him. He offered Kagami a tentative smile. "I knew this would be hard. I want to join in, but... Slowly, I guess."

"Take all the time you need. Aniki and I will cover for you."

Himuro nodded, solemn and strong as a mountain. "It's a good idea to start with floor bounces. Something easy and fun that you can do with just one other person. I don't know Aomine-kun well, though. Will he be kind to you?"

Kagami had his doubts, but Tetsu nodded right away. "Aomine-kun lost his way for a time, but he's been a very kind friend to me for the past couple of weeks."

Kagami considered, then gave a slow nod. "He's been a little more sensitive since Tetsu-chan yelled at him last week."

Himuro raised his eyebrows. "Really? Tetsu-kun yelled at someone?"

"It's hard to believe, I know. But Aomine was asking for it. I yelled at him, too."

Himuro snorted out a laugh. "You yell at everyone, Taiga."

"Still. He was being a jerk."

"He meant well," Tetsu said. "I was rude, too. And I wasn't handling things the way I should have been. I was lying to myself and everyone else about how I was feeling. Aomine-kun refused to let me stay mired in my apathy and despair. Without his push, I don't know how long I would have stayed like that. I should thank him, really."

"Ah," Himuro said softly. "So he returned the favor. That's good."

Kagami shook his head. "If you want to thank him, here's your chance."

Aomine and Momoi were approaching from the street. Aomine slumped along with his usual insouciance, and Momoi waved frantically as soon as she spotted Tetsu. Nigou was with them, barking and tugging at the end of the leash. Momoi grabbed Aomine's free arm and pulled him along when he didn't speed up, and Aomine ended up being dragged down the sidewalk by a dog on one side and a girl on the other. Kagami would have laughed if it wasn't so irritating to watch. What was wrong with the Generations of Miracles? Every single one of them was weird.

Tetsu, of course, just smiled. "Hello, Aomine-kun, Momoi-san," he called, his voice barely louder than it usually was.

Momoi lost patience with Aomine and raced forward to meet them. "Tetsu-kun!" Unlike Kise, she did not halt herself at Kagami's forbidding look, but crashed right into Tetsu as she seized him with both arms. Tetsu grunted and almost toppled over, but Kagami and Himuro each grabbed a shoulder and held him up. Kagami wouldn't swear to it, but he was pretty sure there were tears in Momoi's eyes.

Tetsu had dropped his basketball at the impact, and Himuro went to chase it down while Tetsu awkwardly patted Momoi's head with one hand, his other limp at his side. "Momoi-san, please calm down."

"You scared me!" she sobbed, squeezing tighter. "You shouldn't scare me like that!"

Tetsu winced, but made no effort to escape. "Please forgive me," he said softly. "I didn't want you to see me like that. I never wanted to make you cry."

"What do you mean, 'You didn't want me to see you like that?'" Momoi pulled back, though she held onto Tetsu's arms with both hands. Tears were streaming down her face. "You were in pain. You were...you were so badly hurt. And I had to hear about it from Dai-chan!" Aomine had reached them at this point, and Momoi let go of Tetsu with one hand so she could slap his arm. "And this idiot was stubborn about telling me, too! You are both so stubborn!" Nigou danced around their feet, barking. Kagami tensed up but forced himself to be still.

Tetsu winced again. "I'm sorry," he said miserably. "I didn't want this to happen. It's wrong for boys to make girls cry."

Momoi went still for a moment in shock. Aomine made a face at Kagami that clearly expressed, _Wow, he's really done it now._ Then Momoi burst into fresh tears, loud and messy. She was completely unashamed by this public display of emotion.

"Idiot!" She even stomped her foot, though she still didn't let go of Tetsu's arm. "Idiot!"

Tetsu cast a helpless glance at Kagami, but he just shrugged. He had nothing to offer for this situation. Girls had always been a mystery to him and probably always would be. Aomine, having known Momoi since childhood, probably could have given more insight. But he had scooped Nigou up in his arms and removed himself from the situation, leaving Tetsu to deal with it.

"Tetsu-kun, you're an idiot!" Momoi declared for the third time. "It would be wrong for you to hurt me and make me cry, but this wasn't you! It was someone else, it was... It was your father, and that's horrible. That's the worst thing I've ever heard! But you aren't the one causing me pain. It was him! You can't take responsibility for his actions!"

Tetsu looked stunned. Kagami could have sighed, but did not. Yet another angle on this entire mess where Tetsu had to be convinced that something wasn't his fault. Momoi had pierced straight to it like the head of a spear, though. He was grateful for that.

"But you _did_ hurt me by not telling me, idiot!" Momoi scolded once more. She aimed a slap at Tetsu's arm, but it was much, much lighter than the strike she'd taken at Aomine. It barely made any noise at all. "Don't make me have to hear about these things from Dai-chan! He's horrible at sharing!"

"Ah." Tetsu slowly relaxed from his stunned posture, back on solid ground again. He offered a hesitant smile. "I'm sorry, Momoi-san. Please forgive me. I've been told many times, by many different people, that I should not hide my difficulties from my friends anymore. I will do my best to remember that and never hurt you that way again."

"Good!" Momoi let go of Tetsu with her hand and threw her arms around him again, grabbing him so hard and fast that he had to spread his stance to stay on his feet. She squeezed him fiercely and rocked him where he stood. "Good, good, good. You'd better remember your promise! We can't do this again. It will kill us. Every single one of us."

"I understand. I won't forget." Tetsu patted her head again, clearly uncomfortable but beginning to relax into the hold. 

A few passersby stared at the scene, but Tetsu did not seem in the least embarrassed, just smiling gently down at Momoi's head pressed to his shoulder. Kagami was still American enough that he found this public display annoying rather than shameful, mainly because it was so loud. Himuro kept his poker face, as usual. If anyone looked embarrassed and awkward, it was Aomine.

After the hug had been going on for a while, Aomine shifted from foot to foot and cleared his throat. "Ah...Tetsu. Want to go play basketball now?" Nigou yipped in his arms and wriggled to be put down, and Aomine set him on his feet.

Tetsu nodded. "Yes, I would like that. I promised to do floor bounces with you."

"Right." Aomine smiled. "I've been looking forward to it."

"Is that all right, Momoi-san?" Tetsu asked.

Momoi sniffled and nodded into his shoulder, then finally pulled back. She dashed away her tears and gave him a smile, shaky but genuine. "Yes, of course. Let's play basketball."

So they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re officially into epilogue territory now, folks. I’m almost completely certain that the next chapter will be the last one.
> 
> Later I will add a link for a new playlist that I was given by braceletmemories. It’s in the cml tag on my tumblr, and it’s beautiful.
> 
> ETA: [Here is the playlist. It's wonderful.](http://maychorian.tumblr.com/post/124288240806/a-come-morning-light-playlist-for-maychorian)


	52. Chapter 52

The sharp, earthy smell of the basketball. The sound of heavy, hollow rubber hitting the concrete and rebounding. The taste of sweat. The slap of leather against his palm. The smile of his friend.

Tetsu stood on the court and breathed it in. He was shaky and off-balance. Random flashes of fear still invaded his mind at strange moments and for no cause that he could understand. Aomine waited for him, bouncing the ball from hand to hand, left and right and back again, the sound on the concrete steady and resounding as the beat of a drum.

It had been eighteen days since the last time Tetsu's father beat him. Seventeen days since Taiga-nii rescued him from the terrible place his home had become. Nine days since Hiroshi-san saved him a second time. Four days since he woke from his fever feeling reborn, feeling new and hopeful and alive.

It hadn't even been three weeks, then, since he'd been trapped in that place of fear. Maybe it made sense that he was still having problems. His body needed more time to recover—he could tell that the instant he tried to take a step on a flat surface. No doubt his mind and heart needed more time, too.

Tetsu was impatient, though. He wanted to feel renewed and wholly himself. He wanted to be confident and unafraid. He wanted to play basketball with his friends.

"Tetsu, check!" Aomine called. He threw the ball in a long bounce pass from half the court away. His aim was effortless and true, as always. Tetsu's hands rose without thought, and the ball smacked into them. His fingers gripped the ball. He threw it back and watched it bounce against the concrete, back into Aomine's hands.

Maybe he could do this. Maybe everything would be okay. Eventually. How long would it take?

After he'd finished writing the letter to his father that morning, Tetsu had been unsettled and restless. He gave the letter to Akashi and ignored his sympathetic look, then wandered back down the hall to the bedrooms. He didn't know what he was looking for. He stopped in the doorway of the room they called Hiroshi-san's "office," though it was really everything for Hiroshi-san right now—bedroom, study, sanctuary, workroom. 

Hiroshi-san looked up from his laptop and gave Tetsu a smile. "Hello, Tetsu-chan. Are you all right? Do you need something?"

Tetsu shook his head, shifting from foot to foot. "Are you working on something important?"

Hiroshi-san smiled and turned his laptop so Tetsu could see the screen. His voice was light and humorous. "It's an email from Saeki Toshiko. She's telling me not to be alarmed when we receive a package from Kuroko-san. He doesn't know our address. He gave her the box, asking her to send it on as a favor, and after she inspected the contents, she agreed. We could have avoided a lot of fear and consternation yesterday if I'd just thought to check my messages, but I didn't."

Something in Tetsu relaxed. He had wondered about that, but his mind had been too full to really consider the implications. He'd read his father's letter late last night, sitting on his bed with Taiga on one side and Akashi on the other, Murasakibara already snoring in a futon on the floor. The letter had been reassuring and disturbing, almost in equal measure. His father loved him. So he said, and so he was trying to show by his actions, by his gifts and by his words. He loved him, and yet he had still...he had still done...he had still done that.

Tetsu's hand curled into a fist against the door jamb. He didn't know why he'd stopped here. He wanted to ask for a hug, wanted to hold out his arms the way he would with Taiga, knowing that his big brother would instantly understand and draw him in, strong and warm and infinitely comforting. But he didn't know how to say it. Maybe he should just go find Taiga, instead.

Hiroshi-san seemed to understand, somehow. His face softened, and he stood up from the desk and moved over to Tetsu at the door. He laid a hand on his shoulder, first, warm and large, giving Tetsu time to pull back or refuse. Then he wrapped him up in a hug, and it was every bit as good as Tetsu had thought it would be. Hiroshi-san was even taller than Taiga, though not as muscular, and his arms were firm, his chest broad. Tetsu leaned into the embrace and closed his eyes, his hands clenching in the back of Hiroshi-san's shirt.

"Did you finish writing your letter?" Hiroshi-san asked. His voice rumbled in his chest against Tetsu's ear, soft and deep. It tugged at Tetsu's memories of his illness. He remembered leaning into this chest, this man, and wanting to be nowhere else.

Tetsu nodded. His fists clenched even tighter, trembling with the strength of his grip. "Hiroshi-san, do you love me?"

Hiroshi-san didn't hesitate. "So much that it takes my breath away."

"Why?"

"Hmm." Hiroshi-san went still. He tilted his head to rest his cheek on Tetsu's hair. "That's a much harder question. It's not because you are smart and skilled and adorable and sweet, though all of those things are true. And I don't love Taiga because he's strong and kind and a good cook and amazing at basketball, though all of those things are true, too. I am proud of both of you and very happy to get to call you my sons, but if you weren't any of those things, I would still love you. You don't earn love. It just is.

"So I guess the truest answer is that I don't know. I just know that the first time I held Taiga at the hospital where he was born, my heart almost burst, and I knew right away that I would give my life to protect this tiny person in my arms. And the first time you looked in my eyes through that computer screen and called me 'Hiroshi-san,' then started to cry, I felt the same thing for you. Why does a father love his child? You might as well ask why the sun outshines the moon. Because it does. Because it is made to do it. That's all."

Tetsu nodded. He wasn't sure why, but this seemed like the best answer possible.

"And you'll never hurt me, will you?"

Hiroshi-san caught his breath. "No. Never." He tried to pull back to look at Tetsu's face, but Tetsu clutched him harder and pressed his face into Hiroshi-san's chest. So Hiroshi-san tightened his arms in return, holding him secure. Tetsu was glad his back didn't hurt him anymore, since Taiga and Hiroshi-san weren't as tentative when they hugged him now. Tetsu liked all of their hugs, but these strong, tight ones were the best.

"I can't promise I'll never make a mistake with you, Tetsu-chan. I might hurt your feelings, or misunderstand you, or accidentally neglect you when I get caught up in something. I am not a perfect man, and I have made many mistakes in the past. If that ever happens, of course, I want you and Taiga to stop me and tell me what I did wrong. I will apologize and do everything in my power to make it up to you. But I can promise that I will never hit you. I will never beat you. I will never degrade you or mock you or treat you as anything other than the precious young man you are."

Tetsu nodded into his chest. He didn't know why he had needed to hear all of this so explicitly—he truly had already known it on a gut level, and believed it, too—but he liked hearing it aloud. Hiroshi-san's voice was deep and rich and certain, and he made it all seem not just true, but obvious.

"My father said he loved me, too," Tetsu said softly. "I believe that he did. And he hurt me so much. He...he said... He said sometimes love isn't enough."

"I see." Hiroshi-san's voice was almost a whisper. "That might be true. But sometimes it is. Sometimes love is enough. I think it depends on the people."

"Oh." 

That made sense. It made so much sense. Tetsu pulled in a deep breath for the first time in what seemed like hours and made a decision.

He would trust Hiroshi-san. He would trust Taiga-nii. He would trust his new family to take care of him. Love would be enough, with these particular people. It would be more than enough. 

"Tetsu-kun, check!" Akashi's voice. Tetsu raised his head. The ball flew down the court, a beautiful bounce pass. His hands rose to meet it, and the basketball hit his palms so perfectly that they seemed to sing. Akashi smiled at him, and Tetsu passed the ball back. When had he changed partners? He couldn't remember. The ball struck the concrete and rebounded, back to Akashi.

After he talked to Hiroshi-san, Tetsu had sought out Taiga, too. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to talk to him, but he did. He found Taiga and Himuro in Taiga's room. Taiga lay face-up on his bed, staring at the ceiling, while Himuro sat beside the bed, his head tilted back on Taiga's knee while he also stared at the ceiling. They had been talking about something in English before Tetsu got there, but they went quiet as soon as he knocked his knuckles on the doorframe.

"Hey, Tetsu-chan." Taiga sat up and stretched his arms across his chest with an enormous yawn. "You finished your letter?"

Tetsu nodded and moved over to Taiga's desk chair to sit down. He pressed his feet against the floor and rocked himself back and forth, still restless. He looked between Taiga and Himuro, who still sat against the bed, utterly relaxed. Himuro hadn't even lifted his head when Tetsu came in.

"Am I bothering you?" Tetsu asked. "You look like you're enjoying each other's company."

Taiga shook his head. "Of course you aren't bothering us. You're welcome anytime."

Tetsu hesitated, then looked to Himuro. "I have to thank you, Himuro-san, for everything you did. You were a very important support to Taiga-nii, and I know you do a lot for Mura-nii, too. I'm grateful."

Himuro raised a hand and gave him a lazy wave. "It was nothing. Family doesn't have to thank family. You're Taiga's little brother now, so you're my little brother too."

Tetsu settled back into the chair with a small smile. "Should I call you Aniki?"

To his surprise, Himuro's cheeks flushed. "Sure," he muttered. "If you want to."

Taiga looked at him, his eyebrows bent in concern. 

Tetsu nodded serenely. "I want to."

Taiga bounced his knee, making Himuro's head flop up and down. "What's with the face, Aniki?"

"I just..." Himuro lifted his head and ran a hand through his hair, staring away at nothing in particular. "I wasn't a good brother, you know. I was shocked when you said you wanted to call me Aniki from now on. Happy, of course, I was really happy, but...shocked."

Taiga frowned. "I don't think the past matters as much as you think it does. I'm more concerned about the future. Yeah, you were a jerk for a while, but that's done now. I'm happy that we're brothers again and I don't want it any other way."

Tetsu smiled softly at this. Taiga was so forgiving. Why did he have such trouble getting over his dispute with Akashi and the rest of the Generation of Miracles?

Well, because that was about Tetsu, of course. Taiga forgave injuries to himself without hesitation, overjoyed to move forward, to mend the relationships he found precious to him. But injuries to Tetsu, well... That was another matter.

Himuro sighed and let his head fall back down on Taiga's knee. "Fine, fine. Call me Aniki." He lifted a hand to Tetsu. "I will do my best to be a better brother in the future."

"Thank you." 

Tetsu still wasn't sure why he had felt compelled to come here. He hadn't asked any questions, but he felt like he'd gotten an answer, anyway.

"Tetsu-chin, check!" The ball sped down the court, low and powerful. Tetsu shifted slightly to catch it, only a small step to the side. Murasakibara wasn't particularly known for his accuracy. The basketball stung his palms, but it felt good. They were only bounce passes. Why did they feel so good? Every single one seemed to ground him to the court. He felt like he was digging down roots, strong and deep, steadying him and anchoring him to the sport he loved.

Tetsu didn't hold the ball while he pondered this. He threw it back.

After he talked to Taiga and Hiroshi-san, Tetsu went back to his room. He put away the writing materials that had been setting on the desk, abandoned when he finished the letter, then went to his bed and sat down. He looked around at the basketball posters on the wall, the bookcases stacked full of the novels and manga he had collected over many years. He looked at the closet.

He knew there was no strap hanging on the wall in that closet. Still, he stood and walked over to the open door. He pushed aside his uniform shirts and looked. No belt. No hook. Nothing. The wall was blank and innocent. He wondered how many times he would need to check before he was sure it would stay that way.

Tetsu went back to his bed and lay down, curling up on his side with his knees drawn to his chest. He stared sightlessly at the doorway. He should take a nap. They were going to go play basketball this afternoon, and he needed to be rested. He wanted to play with his friends. He wanted to practice his sport and enjoy himself.

Two weeks ago, Tetsu had felt his inner landscape shatter apart with the consideration of one question: _Would you still think it was normal?_ Imayoshi had given him that gift, the gift of questioning, of seeing himself and his relationships in a new light. It had been a harsh thing, a breaking thing, but it had also been necessary. Since then, Tetsu had had to work very hard to reconstruct himself. He was still a work in progress, and he thought he might be for a long time. But he had a foundation now. He knew where he was and he knew where he stood. The building ahead would be a joy and not a burden, and many hands would share the load with him.

"Tetsuyacchi, check!" The basketball blew down the court, easy as a fresh wind. Kise's smile on the other side was a brilliant thing. Kise loved playing basketball. He loved playing with Tetsu, which was more miraculous. Tetsu raised his hands and let the ball thud into them. He felt light on his feet, free as the air. In this moment, he wasn't afraid at all. His friends were with him. The sun was high. Summer was just around the corner.

Tetsu threw the ball.

What would happen tomorrow? He was going back to school after more than a week away. He was going back changed, a new person with a new name. It might be hard to hide in the shadows, now. It might be very hard indeed, since his brother and his dad shone so brightly, and he spent every waking moment with them. Hadn't he caught some of their brilliance in himself? He thought it must have collected in his hair like stardust.

How could the sun outshine the moon? The moon was a reflection. The sun had no choice but to outshine the moon. But the moon shone, too. The moon gathered radiance and dispersed it across the heavens. It was bright because it was close. Tetsu could be bright, if he wanted to.

He might not want to. The shadows could be good to him, too. They were a shelter and a comfort when the world was too bright, too overwhelming. But it would be nice to have a choice. Maybe he would.

"Kagami, check!" The ball tripped across the court. Midorima's bounce passes were a bit awkward, since he was so used to throwing the basketball in the other direction, up instead of down. It made Tetsu smile, and he stepped forward to meet the ball. Midorima, correct and proper he, preferred to call both Tetsu and Taiga by their family name. He didn't care that they both responded when he used it. 

Tetsu didn't mind. He felt warm whenever someone called him by his new name. He threw the ball back to Midorima.

Basketball was so much fun. Why had Tetsu ever been afraid of it? How had his life become so wrenched up, so twisted? He shuddered to remember how bad it had been, even though he'd had no understanding of it at the time. While it was happening, it was all he could do to keep his head down and survive each day. It was only now, healthy and happy and surrounded by people who loved him, that he was able to look back and recognize just how awful it had been.

It was a blessing, probably, that he hadn't been able to comprehend just how much agony he was suffering, both body and mind. It might have killed him. Instead, somehow, by some miracle, he had been found and saved and brought home. He had been redeemed out of darkness, and the light was very good to him.

"Tetsu-chan, check!" The ball tore down the court. Taiga was grinning the whole time. He was inexpressibly glad to be playing basketball with Tetsu again, even if it was just bounce passes. Taiga was too strong, but the ball went exactly where he wanted it to go, and Tetsu caught it with ease. He couldn't imagine missing one of Taiga's passes. It didn't seem possible.

His fingers tightened on the ball, pressing it between his palms in welcome. Then he threw it back.

He was home. Later, he would join in some of the three-on-threes that had been going on this whole time. Everyone wanted to play with him—Kise and Taiga had almost come to blows over the question of who would get to be on his team first. Seirin was going to come by later, too, and they would probably have to expand to take over all of the courts in the park.

And maybe, maybe, later tonight when he was warm and exhausted and panting from the fun, so tired that he couldn't stop himself anymore, he would gather up the courage to send a text to Ogiwara and ask if they could meet.

But for now, Kagami Tetsuya was happy. He was on the court, playing basketball with his brother, his friends all standing near. There was nowhere else he wanted to be.

Tetsu was home.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for caring. This writing has been magical.


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